Killing For Sports

The Liar's Super Bowl XLV Pick

2011-02-04T11:07:00.002-06:00

I can't believe I'm procrastinating on a Super Bowl pick. I'm not hedging bets and waiting for last-minute player updates. I just don't care. It doesn't help that the circus atmosphere after the championship games drives me batty. It seems that every year once the Super Bowl lineup is set everyone starts focusing on everything about either team that has nothing to do with the game itself. I understand the need for establishing a story-line to draw the interest of those who are not sports fans, but it has gotten to the point where everything seems forced and manufactured. In the run-up to the game it becomes about the selling of the game more so than about the game itself. I could care less. Speaking of not caring...

Last Week's Picks: 0/2
Season Record: 157/109

Super Bowl XLV - 5:30PM (CST):
Steelers (14-4) over Packers (13-6)
Meh. I just can't get interested in what should be a historic match-up - It features the team with the most World Championships (Packers) -vs- the team with the most Super Bowl wins (Steelers). This game should hype itself... It doesn't. I can't find any way to care about either of these teams. The Steelers have an exciting defense, but their offense is as boring as it is unlikeable. As for the Packers... Despite the divisional rivalry, they might very well be the most uninteresting team out there aside from the Jaguars. The Puppy Bowl is looking better and better as the days tick down. Rooting Labrador Retriever - Picking Chinese Water Spaniel.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Conference Championship Playoff Picks

2011-01-21T14:57:00.001-06:00

Here we go. This is the last week of true football in the season before the circus of the Super Bowl pitches its garish tent. I should be excited, but I'm just confounded. I've acquired an epic case of brain-lock in trying to break down the Bears -vs- Packers game, or there is a real chance that my brain has literally frozen. Either way, I'm going to be useless until either the Bears win or it hits 60 degrees, so let's get to some picks.

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 157/107

Early Sunday Game:
Bears* (12-5) over Packers (12-6)
I've spent the last 5 minutes staring at the blinking cursor on the screen trying to figure out what to write here. Everything I see tells me that the Bears are going to win, but I'm hard-freaked that every "expert" seems to be picking the Pack in this one. Am I missing something? With all of the history behind both of these teams, this could be one of the greatest conference championship games of all time... Unless the Bears lose, then it will be the worst.

Late Sunday Game:
Jets (13-5) over Steelers* (13-4)
I'm not gonna pick the Jets. I'm not gonna pick the Jets. I'm not gonna pick the Jets.
Fuck. I picked the Jets.
I really like the Jets in the postseason and even though everything tells me that they'll lose here, winning at Pittsburgh isn't nearly as hard as winning at Indy or winning at New England. I say they have a shot.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Divisional Playoffs Pick

2011-01-14T14:39:00.002-06:00

I'm sick and feel exactly like a re-fried bag of dog turds, so I'm going to make this brief. This is looking to be an amazing weekend of football. Two of these games look to be toss-ups, and the other two w/ strong favorites still could go either way. So ass the couch, grab some Michael Vick's Vapo-Rub, pour yourself a NyQuillada, and get your tissues ready - It's gonna be just like the 1999 Scripps National Spelling Bee all over again.
*cough*

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 155/105

Saturday Afternoon Game:

Steelers*(12-4) over Ravens (13-4)

STEELERS SMASH... RAVENS SMASH... (Repeat for 3-4 hours). It's a-gonna be a Hulk-off, bitches!

Saturday Night Game:

Falcons* (13-3) over Packers (11-6)

I'm not betting against the Falcons at home, but I'm holding out hope that the NFC championship game will be Packers -vs- Bears at Soldier Field. Go Pack! Great, now I feel dirty.

Early Sunday Game:

Bears* (11-5) over Seahawks (8-9)

If the Seahawks win this one, they can bring their season/postseason record up to .500 - That's some crazy shit right there. Wanna know something else that is crazy? This is Jay Cutler's FIRST playoff appearance. Seriously. The Bears should dominate here, but if they pull off an uber-FAIL on home turf, I might get my preseason wish for a new coach & general manager. It's a win-win.

Late Sunday Game:

Patriots* (14-4) over Jets (12-5)

I'm sure that the Pats aren't losing any sleep over this one, but divisional match-ups have a way of going sideways. There is no team out there that knows the Patriots as well as the Jets, and if they can game it just right on defense, they have a legitimate shot here. That being said; everything has to go right for the Jets to win, and everything has to go wrong for the Pats to lose.
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Wild-Card Weekend Playoff Picks

2011-01-06T21:53:00.003-06:00

Bears have a bye this week so I'm going to take this opportunity to issue a mea culpa: I was very wrong about the Bears assistant coaching staff going into this season. Mike Martz has done a good job adjusting the offense this season, and Mike Tice has done an unbelievable job shoring up the O-Line - The second-half success of the offense is (in my opinion) thanks to Tice's adjustments. Good job guys, now could you two turn your attention to improving Lovie? Didn't think so.

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 153/103

Saturday Afternoon Game:
Saints (11-5) over Seahawks* (7-9)
One of these teams is not like the other... This game is worth notice just because it features the first NFL playoff team with a losing record (fucking NFC West). It hardly seems fair that the reigning Super Bowl champs have to travel half-way across the nation and play in a tough home-crowd stadium against a team with four less wins than they do. Them's the (stupid, stupid) rules

Saturday Night Game:
Colts*(10-6) over Jets (11-5)
I'm really looking forward to this game. Both of these teams have been shaky this season, and (in all likelihood) the winner of this one will be out next week, but I still say this has the makings of a great playoff game. I'm rooting for the Jets, but picking the Colts here.

Early Sunday Game:
Ravens (12-4) over Chiefs* (10-6)
I really have liked the Chiefs this season, but they are way out of their league here. Kansas City home-field is their biggest advantage here, but I don't think it will be nearly enough. The Chiefs have a great running game, but it's nearly impossible to run against the Ravens. If the Chiefs want to win, they'll need to score a bunch of points through the air. It doesn't look good.

Late Sunday Game:
Packers (10-6) over Eagles* (10-6)
Out of all of the games this week, this one looks to be the most evenly-matched. The Eagles are banged-up and have skidded their way into the playoffs on two losses to mediocre teams. I still feel that the Packed are vastly over-rated and lucked into the playoffs this year. We'll see.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 17 Picks

2010-12-31T16:00:00.004-06:00

It's the final week of the NFL regular season. It's been a good run. This week it seems that there are equal measure of must-watch games to disposable games (which is a far greater ratio than any other given week). Should be interesting all day long. Couch, prepare to be assed.

Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 143/97

Early Sunday Games:
Patriots* (13-2) over Dolphins (7-8)
The Patriots don't even need to show up for this one, but the Pats always play hard going into the post-season.

Saints* (11-4) over Buccaneers (9-6)

Remember when the Bucs were 9&2 and I said they'd miss the playoffs? Well I did.

Falcons* (12-3) over Panthers (2-13)

Oh, dear lord. I'd wager that the Falcons' 3rd stringers are better than the Panthers' 1st stringers.

Lions* (5-10) over Vikings (6-9)

The last three weeks I've told you how Detroit was going to pull the upset and then picked against 'em. Old habits die hard. I'm making it up to Motown this week.

Chiefs (10-5) over Raiders* (7-8)

Yay, Chiefs! Congratulations.

Jets* (10-5) over Bills (4-11)

The Jets don't need to win to advance, but if they don't win here they'll be going into the postseason having lost 4 of their last 5 games.

Ravens* (11-4) over Bengals (4-11)

The Bungles gave the Chargers the dirty shocker last week (thanks for that). I don't see lightning striking twice in consecutive weeks.

Steelers (11-4) over Browns* (5-10)

Steelers are playing for the bye here. They win, they get next week off. Then again, it seems that they do better in the playoffs when they don't get the bye.

Late Sunday Games:
Bears (11-4) over Packers* (9-6)
The Bears have the bye nailed down, but they NEED to win this fucker. Bears nation is going to go apoplectic if they don't knock the hated Pack out of the playoff picture. Granted, we match up better with the Packers than the Giants (who will advance if the Pack loses), but it goes against all Beardom to give ANYTHING to our nemeses to the North. Let's cut this turd lose, Chicago.

Jaguars (8-7) over Texans* (5-10)

The Jags are still looking from the outside at the postseason. I say they win here and pray for the Colts to flounder.

Cowboys (5-10) over Eagles* (10-5)

The Beagles are set in the playoff picture. I say they rest their injured stars and get ready for next week. The Boys are going to play this one hard as a statement game.

Giants (9-6) over Redskins* (6-9)

Hold up... Okay, even if the Bears beat the Pack, Green Bay can get in with a Skins win here and a Bucs loss in New Orleans. It's not as much of a long-shot as you think.

Broncos* (4-11) over Chargers (8-7)

The Chargers are dead, and (since they're a bunch of little sissy-bitches) they never play when there's nothing on the line. Say what you will about the Broncos, but they always seem to give it their all (and come up way short).

49ers* (5-10) over Cardinals (5-10)

Welcome to the Osco Brand^® Suppository Bowl!

Colts* (9-6) over Titans (6-9)

The Colts still either need a win or a Jags loss to advance. The Jags/Texans game is being played simultaneous to this one, so the Colts can't roll over like they have in the final games of the past few years.

Sunday Night Games:
Rams (7-8) over Seahawks* (6-9)
Fucking NFC West. I'm secretly hoping that the Shawks win this one (which is not unlikely), so I can point out to every Packers fan that their team is out while a sub-.500 team is in. "No really, the Seahawks are far superior to your Pack. Oh really? Then when are the Packers playing their playoff game this month? Thought so. You suck."
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks

2010-12-23T17:27:00.004-06:00

It's Christmas weekend and I've graciously taken some time away from my wassailing to crap out some festive picks for you. Let's get right to this so I can get back to my holiday spirits.
Have a safe weekend and beware the Krampus.

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 135/89

Thursday Night Game:
Steelers* (10-4) over Panthers (2-12)
The Steelers are coming off of a hard loss to the Jets last week. The Panthers are coming off a hard loss to everybody they've played this season (excepting the Cardinals & 49ers, which don't really count as NFL teams since they play in the NFC West).

Saturday Night Game:
Cowboys (5-9) over Cardinals* (4-10)
Ho, Ho, Fuck you. What grinch scheduled this lump of coal as the X-Mas game? Granted, last year these were both playoff teams that won their respective divisions, but how quickly the mighty have fallen. I'm not watching this crap, if you need me I'll be getting my holiday spirits on at Liar's Club.

Early Sunday Games:
Jets (10-4) over Bears* (10-4)
Don't get me wrong, The Bears should win this one. I just think that the Jets are going to be playing desperate. The Bears are playing for a bye, the Jets are playing for their lives.

Dolphins* (7-7) over Lions (4-10)

Why am I not picking the Lions here? They have become the NFL inquisition late in the season beating down all of the fraud-teams with over-inflated records (Redskins, Packers, Buccaneers). They should win here too.

Rams* (6-8) over 49ers (5-9)

I'm saving my final NFC West rant for next week, so I'm kinda wishing that the Rams lose here and the Shawks lose later so I can get properly riled about a sub-.500 team making the playoffs.

Patriots (12-2) over Bills* (4-10)

Just when the Patriots seem unstoppable, they always seem to give up a conference game to the Bills or Dolphins. I say that it's too late in the season for that to happen here, but I'm keeping one eye on this one.

Ravens (10-4) over Browns* (5-9)

It doesn't look like the Ravens can win the division (unless they win-out and the Steelers lose against these Browns next week), still one more win and they lock down a playoff spot. They should get it done on the road.

Jaguars* (8-6) over Redskins (5-9)

Fuck you, Redskins. Rex "Fumbles" Grossman... are you fucking kidding me?!?! I hate you so much right now. --spits--

Chiefs* (9-5) over Titans (6-8)

I need the Chiefs to win the AFC West. I'm so fucking sick of the Chargers, all I want is one year off. Six decades would be preferable, but I'll take one year.

Late Sunday Games:
Broncos* (3-11) over Texans (5-9)
And I'm picking Denver because? Oh, that's right; I don't care.

Colts (8-6) over Raiders* (7-7)

I'm not sure how I feel about the AFC South picture. I'm sick of the Colts, and would LOVE to see them fail after dumping the chance at the perfect season last year. Then again, if the Colts miss the playoffs, we get Jacksonville which is about as exciting as a can of generic corn. Whatever.

Chargers (8-6) over Bengals* (3-11)

Hey Cincinnati, you were founded in 1788, don't you think it's about time that you do one thing right? Knock out the Chargers here and we'll all overlook the two hundred and twenty two years of mediocrity.

Giants (9-5) over Packers* (8-6)

I'm really tempted to pick the Pack at home. They win here, and they have a shot at the playoffs. They lose here, and they're all but out. I'm just more convinced in their ability to fail than in their ability to win.

Buccaneers* (8-6) over Seahawks (6-8)

Okay, I'm getting bored with typing out picks. Make up something interesting about this game on your own.

Sunday Night Game:
Eagles* (10-4) over Vikings (5-9)
I am thrilled beyond words that Brett Favre was nice enough to come back the game immediately after his starting streak was broken just to let the Bears end his career. What a guy.

Monday Night Game:
Falcons* (12-2) over Saints (10-4)
Even though they probably won't win the division, a Saints win here would be HUGE. That being said, the Falcons never lose at home.
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks

2010-12-16T14:53:00.004-06:00

This is when things get interesting. This week would be nearly perfect if I didn't have my bowling league at the exact same time as the Bears -vs- Vikings game. I guess you can't win 'em all. Enough bitching, here are some picks:

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 126/82

Thursday Night Game:
Chargers* (7-6) over 49ers (5-8)
I had picked the Niners to win the NFC West this year. Now at 5&8 they're... still in it?!?! Are you fucking serious?! If Samurai Mike's turd-squad can off the hated Chargers for me I promise to take back all of the horribly offensive things I've said about them (and their mothers) this season.

Early Sunday Games:
Cowboys* (4-9) over Redskins (5-8)
ChrisB called this one: Skins, Let me get this straight, your KICKER botches TWO extra point attempts, you lose the game by ONE point, so you bench.... the QUARTERBACK?!?!? FUCK YOU! The starting of Rex Grossman this week confirms my long-held belief that Shanahan is a clueless hack. This move pisses me off almost as much as when he benched Plummer for Cutler back in '06.

Saints (10-3) over Ravens* (9-4)

Okay, gotta settle down. I want to pick the Ravens at home, but I have a feeling that I'm overestimating Baltimore. The Saints know that if they want to repeat, they best win the division and stay the fuck outta Atlanta in the playoffs. New Orleans needs to win-out for that to happen.

Cardinals (4-9) over Panthers* (1-12)

This week is filled with great games. This isn't one of them. I'm not wasting my time with this draft-jockeying.

Browns (5-8) over Bengals* (2-11)

This isn't a great game either, but at least it's interesting. The Bengals looked golden at the start of the season, and have fallen apart past the point of redemption. The Browns looked destitute at the start, but have really shown some promise this season. Truly a tale of two (terrible) towns.

Colts* (7-6) over Jaguars (8-5)

Everything tells me to pick Jacksonville here, but I'm not betting against Indy (no matter how bad they've looked recently) in a knock-out game.

Dolphins* (7-6) over Bills (3-10)

I like the Bills, but the Fish have been playing with some spunk lately. At this point, they can even win at home.

Buccaneers* (8-5) over Lions (3-10)

I love me some Lions! I'm so fucking happy that they killed the Pack last week and knocked out Not-Favre for this week that I'm tempted to pick 'em here out of deference.

Eagles (9-4) over Giants* (9-4)

The winner here (discounting any catastrophe) takes the division. The loser is left to struggle for a wild-card spot. The way Philly has been playing lately, it looks like it's their game to win (or lose).

Chiefs (8-5) over Rams* (6-7)

Who could have guessed when this game was announced in April that it would have playoff consequences for either team. Pretty impressive considering that these two teams won a combined 5 games last year. Despite Cassel's questionable status, I'm picking the Chiefs out of my hatred of the Chargers (and not as any slight to the Rams).

Texans (5-8) over Titans* (5-8)

Right now I'm glad that I have zero affinity toward either of these teams. What an embarrassment these two teams turned out to be this year.

Late Sunday Games:
Falcons (11-2) over Seahawks* (6-7)
The Shawks play tough at home, but the Falcons very well could be the best NFC team right now.

Raiders* (6-7) over Broncos (3-10)

Denver, you broke my heart - You're dead to me. The Raiders only stole my wallet.

Steelers* (10-3) over Jets (9-4)

I'm kinda pulling for the Jets in this one so that they're not crazy-desperate coming into Soldier Field next week.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots* (11-2) over Packers (8-5)
Bye bye, Packers! Your season ends right here. --flush, swirl, gone--

Monday Night Game:
Bears (9-4) over Vikings** (5-8)
Last week Favre ended his 297 game starting streak, and the Vikings QB of the future, Tarvaris Jackson , lasted not even 297 minutes before landing on the disabled list. Bwwwahahahahaha! I'm not sure if rookie Joe Webb and Patrick Ramsey (the former Skins QB) will make it through this one for Minnesota. The Vikings are dead, long live the Bears!
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team
**Indicates game being played in the Triple Rock Social Club parking lot, or equally inauspicious venue

The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks

2010-12-09T13:12:00.005-06:00

It's Friday night, I just spent the last couple of hours getting the remaining picks up, and I can't think of one interesting thing to write about week 14 of this NFL season, so I'm going to make this brief:
It's week 14, the time when teams are made, seasons are lost, and appendices go missing.
Okay, it's not much, but it gives me an excuse to use the (lesser used) plural of appendix, and that's good enough for me.

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 116/76

Thursday Night Game:
Colts (6-6) over Titans (5-7)
Man, the Colts stink on ice this season. Things could be worse - they could be the Titans, who are the sporting equivalent of the smoldering remains of a burnt-out short bus with partially immolated handicapped children hanging dead from every half-opened window.

Early Sunday Games:
Browns (5-7) over Bills* (2-10)
These are my two favorite losers right now (Denver, you're cut). I'd watch this game in it's entirety if the Chicago market had it.

Steelers* (9-3) over Bengals (2-10)

The highlight of the season very well may have been Roethlisberger getting tampons shoved into his bloody nostrils last week. He's one tough motherfucker (sisterfucker, auntfucker, secondcousinfucker, drunkgirlfucker, et aliae).

Jaguars* (7-5) over Raiders (6-6)

I have no idea why I'm picking Jacksonville. Apparently, they've hypno-toaded me with their supernatural boringness.

Redskins* (5-7) over Buccaneers (7-5)

I'm still holding out the slightest of hope that my Skins don't totally suck. The Bucs don't win against teams with winning records, let's see how they do with a team that's within sight of .500.

Packers (8-4) over Lions* (2-10)

It wouldn't surprise me one bit of the Lions won this one at home. They've ALMOST pulled several upsets this year, and seem due to get at least one.

Falcons (10-2) over Panthers* (1-11)

Oh, dear god. Someone put this game out of its misery.

Late Sunday Games:
Patriots (10-2) over Bears* (9-3)
It's not 1985 - Settle down. I'm amazed at how many people are picking the Bears in this one after the Pats dismantling of the Jets last week. I say the Bears have a puncher's chance, but I'm going with my head on the pick. That being said, if the Bears win here (or even make it close) by Monday everyone will have the Bears as their NFC Super Bowl pick.

Saints* (9-3) over Rams (6-6)

I'd like to see the Rams win the NFC West (hey, someone has to), but I think that the Seahawks are going to edge them in the end.

Seahawks (6-6) over 49ers* (4-8)

Speaking of which... Fucking NFC West.

Broncos (3-9) over Cardinals* (3-9)

Why am I picking the 3&9 Broncos the week after they lost their head coach? Because (you guessed it) they're playing an NFC West turd-squad.

Jets* (9-3) over Dolphins (6-6)

The Jets got clowned last week in New England. That shit sticks with you. They need a solid win at home to right the ship.

Chargers* (6-6) over Chiefs (8-4)

FUCK! Matt Cassel's appendix had to go and ruin the AFC West for everyone. I really want the Chiefs to win the division, but I say that if the Chargers win here, then they take it.

Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (8-4) over Cowboys* (4-8)
The Dallas Cowboys are the NFL equivalent of Jason from the Friday the 13th film series: They're long-dead and have a nasty habit of hiding in the background and whacking whoever walks by in the face with a machete. I really want to pick 'em here, but I think the Iggles have the ability to run past this one without tripping.

Monday Night Games:
Ravens (8-4) over Texans* (5-7)
The Ravens have to be crazy-mad after that loss last week. Watch for 'em to go all Hulk up on Reliant Stadium. RAVENS SMASH!!!

Giants (8-4) over Vikings* (5-7)

This game is intriguing. Both teams are on a 2-game winning streak. The Giants are playing for the post-season and the Vikes are playing to get some respect back. A Vikes win here would be huge - I just don't see it.

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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks

2010-12-02T17:43:00.003-06:00

It's lucky week 13, and this one's shaping up to be a damned fine week to be a football fan. There are so many good games this week that it should be a blast to watch and hell to pick.
Here's what I've got:

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 105/71

Thursday Night Game:
Eagles* (7-4) over Texans (5-6)
The Bears D showed how to beat the Mike Vick Iggles. I'm just not sure that the Texans are good enough to pull it off. Then again, I didn't think that the Bears were good enough either, and we all know how that one ended.

Early Sunday Games:
Bears (8-3) over Lions* (2-9)
The Lions are playing pretty damned tough right now, but unless Chicago looks past 'em they should be able to secure another win on the road.

Giants* (7-4) over Redskins (5-6)

I give up on the Skins. They win games they should lose and lose games they should win. That means they'll probably win this one to keep up the pattern of fucking me on picks. Jerks.

Packers* (7-4) over 49ers (4-7)

It's a fucking travesty that these two teams are the same number of games out of first (1) in their (respective) divisions.

Bills (2-9) over Vikings* (4-7)

It looks like I'm the only person picking Buffalo here. I just see how hard Buffalo has been playing and how close they've been to up-ending teams far superior to the Vikes. I say they finally break their tough-luck streak up in Minneapolis.

Saints (8-3) over Bengals* (2-9)

This smacks of a trap-game. Then again, in order for one team to get trapped, the opposing team has to actually play. The Bengals haven't done that since week 3.

Jaguars (6-5) over Titans* (5-6)

Boring beats bloodied, battered, and basically bad.

Chiefs* (7-3) over Broncos (3-8)

Okay, I've given up the hope of the Chargers crapping-out. Now I'm clinging to the hope that the Chiefs can hold on.

Dolphins* (6-5) over Browns (4-7)

Man, I'm really tempted to pick Cleveland in this one. The Dolphins are not a very good team at home, and the Browns have been showing some grit recently. If I knew that Colt McCoy was starting here, I'd pick 'em in an instant.

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers* (6-5) over Raiders (5-6)
I've resigned myself to the fact that the fucking Chargers are back. I'm just hoping that the Raiders can prove me wrong.

Colts* (6-5) over Cowboys (3-7)

If the Cowboys can get a road win in Indy it would be a HUGE statement win. The Colts are hurting, but I'm not ready to leave them for dead just yet.

Falcons (9-2) over Buccaneers* (7-4)

The Bucs don't win games against teams with a winning record - Their seven wins have come against teams that have a (cumulative) record of 19 wins & 47 losses. 7&4 doesn't look so great in that light.

Rams (5-6) over Cardinals* (3-8)

Another fucking NFC West divisional game. Move along, nothing to see here.

Seahawks* (5-6) over Panthers (1-10)

Speaking of the NFC West, The Seahawks find themselves up against the ONLY team in the NFL that is worse than the best team in their division.

Sunday Night Game:
Ravens* (8-3) over Steelers (8-3)
This should be one hell of a game. I have no idea who has the edge here, but the Steelers barely pulled off an overtime win against the 2-win-Bills last week - Which wouldn't have happened if the Bills return squad wasn't tackling each other, or if Buffalo's Steve Johnson could hold onto an end-zone reception... Yeesh. I'm reluctantly going with the Ravens at home

Monday Night Game:
Patriots* (9-2) over Jets (9-2)
The Pats lost to the Jets in NY back in week two. I'd always figured that these teams would split this season, so I'm going with New England at home.
*fingers crossed*
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 12 Picks

2010-11-24T16:19:00.002-06:00

It's 3PM on a Wednesday and I've got a decent buzz a-goin' from my lunch at Revolution Brewing - Time for some picks. I'm heading out of town this weekend, so I'd better get these up while I have the chance. In fact, it looks like I'm going to miss out on all of the Sunday games this week. Ah, well - Let's see what I'm missing.

Last Week's Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 94/66

Early Thursday Game:
Patriots (8-2) over Lions* (2-8)
Bwaaa, haaah haah haa ha. Holy Shit, that's some funny shit right there.

Late Thursday Game:
Saints (7-3) over Cowboys* (3-7)
The Cowboys are getting some of their swagger back, but a false sense of bravado and Kitna behind center ain't gonna win it against the reigning Super Bowl champs.

Thursday Night Game:
Jets* (8-2) over Bengals (2-8)
The Jets have been won their last 3 games at the very last minute (or in overtime) against some fairly crappy teams. Her's another turd-squad to take it down to the wire with.

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (8-2) over Packers (7-3)
Matty Ice is 18-1 at home in the Georgia Dome since his debut with the Dirty Birds. They haven't lost at home in over 2 years. I'm not saying that the streak isn't gonna end, I'm just saying that it isn't gonna end this week.

Steelers (7-3) over Bills* (2-8)

The Bills have won 2 in a row. They ain't gonna make it to 3.

Browns* (3-7) over Panthers (1-9)

Look at the two rookie QBs from these teams and tell me that Jimmy Clausen should have gone before Colt McCoy in the draft. Regardless, they're both out with injuries for this one. Jake Delhomme takes on his old team (who he took to the Super Bowl) with Brian St. Pierre (who???) starting for the Panthers.

Giants* (6-4) over Jaguars (6-4)

Boring, Boring, Boring, Boring, Boring, Boring.
*click*

Redskins* (5-5) over Vikings (3-7)

I'm getting some faith back in my Redskins. Let's hope that it takes a couple of weeks for the Vikes to rediscover theirs.

Texans* (4-6) over Titans (5-5)

If there was a bigger collapse story than the Texans this year, it would go to the Titans. Kerry Collins is out, Vince Young may never play for the Titans again, and this week Rusty "Tromboner" Smith makes his NFL debut. If the Texans can't win here, they can't win anywhere.

Late Sunday Games:
Raiders* (5-5) over Dolphins (5-5)
Should be interesting. The Raiders don't lose at home and the Dolphins don't lose on the road.

Chiefs (6-4) over Seahawks* (5-5)

If Kansas City wants to hold on in their division, they had better keep winning these close matches. The Seahawks can lose this game and still have the lead in the NFC West (fucking NFC West).

Eagles (7-3) over Bears* (7-3)

I have a bad, bad, bad feeling about this one. Prove me wrong, Bears.

Broncos* (3-7) over Rams (4-6)

When in doubt, bet against the NFC West team.

Ravens* (7-3) over Buccaneers (7-3)

The Buccaneers have a great record, but every win has come against a sub-.5oo team. Here's their test - I say they fail-out.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts* (6-4) over Chargers (5-5)
The Colts are struggling right now, and the Bolts always seem to have their number, but Indy HAS to win here. A Colts loss at home at this time in the season would be devastating.

Monday Night Game:
49ers (3-7) over Cardinals* (3-7)
Fuck me. Lemme get this straight: I'm going to miss Falcons/Packers, Skins/Vikes, and Bears/Eagles, but I get to watch Pats/Lions, Jets/Bengals and this abortion. It just isn't fair.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 11 Picks

2010-11-17T18:04:00.005-06:00

It's week 11 and the Bears are at 6&3. No, really. They have a killer stretch coming up, but at this point a playoff spot is theirs to lose. If they can go 3&4 for the remainder, they have a damned good shot. Huh.
At this rate, look for extended contracts for Lovie and Angelo. Fuck me.

Last Week's Picks: 6/8
Season Record: 81/63

Thursday Night Game:
Bears (6-3) over Dolphins (5-4)
There is an axiom which states; "It's better to be lucky than to be good". That has never been more apt than to describe the Bears going into this game. Last week the Fish lost both their starting AND back-up quarterbacks. The Bears get to saunter into the Sunshine State knowing that they'll be going up against third-stringer Tyler Thigpen who has only had a few days to acclimate to the role of starter. Lucky motherfuckers.

Early Sunday Games:
Bengals* (2-7) over Bills (1-8)
If the Williams hadn't won last week, I'd pick 'em here in a heartbeat. Right now the Bengals need a win even more. I'll give it to 'em on their home turf.

Cowboys* (2-7) over Lions (2-7)

Detroit is just as good as Dallas is bad - This one could go either way. The Boys seem to have new life with the coaching switch - If they want to keep it up, they best get a win in the Jerry-Dome.

Titans* (5-4) over Redskins (4-5)

I wonder who cares less about the game of football, Albert Haynesworth or Vince Young? I say scratch the game and let those two slugs settle this one with a Chocodile eating contest.

Chiefs* (5-4) over Cardinals (3-6)

Kansas City was in a pretty nice position before dumping two games in a row against division rivals. If they want to keep up their Cinderella season they better not turn into a pumpkin halfway through the season.

Packers (6-3) over Vikings* (3-6)

A Vikings win would be damn sweet here. Picking Pack, pulling for the Vikes.

Jets* (7-2) over Texans (4-5)

The Jets have spent the last two weeks in overtime with the Lions and the Browns - They won both. At this rate, look for a tie with the (slightly) better Texans.

Steelers* (6-3) over Raiders (5-4)

The Steelers got crushed last week by the Pats (as the Pats did the week before by the Browns). I see a similar bounce-back game for the Steelers. It isn't going to be easy though. The Raiders are coming off of a bye-week and had been playing extremely well before their break.

Ravens (6-3) over Panthers* (1-8)

This game should be the lock-of-the-week. Then again, these 'gimme' games always have a way of going sideways.

Browns (3-6) over Jaguars* (5-4)

I FUCKING HATE the Jags. Not for any good reason, but just because they're so damned boring. It's like the mediocrity of the city of Jacksonville has permeated through the entire franchise. Why can't we just ship 'em express to LA and end this experiment in commonness?

Late Sunday Games:
Falcons (7-2) over Rams* (4-5)
The Rams look pretty good right now. The Falcons look great.

Saints* (7-2) over Seahawks (5-4)

Am I the only one who thinks that Pete Carroll threw Reggie Bush under the bus with the whole USC Heisman debacle? Here's his chance to get (a very small bit of) payback.

Buccaneers (6-3) over 49ers* (3-6)

I'm still not sure what to make of the Bucs this year. They're winning against bad teams and losing against good teams. They have a great record, but it is the least impressive winning record in the NFL so far.

Patriots* (7-2) over Colts (6-3)

This has been the marquee match-up of the season over the past few years, but this time around it seems played-out. It should be a good game, but (to me) it isn't even the most interesting game of the day.

Sunday Night Game:
Eagles* (6-3) over Giants (6-3)
I have a feeling that the NFC East championship is going to go down to the wire between these two teams. The Giants have an easier remainder of the season, so the Eagles NEED this win at home.

Monday Night Game:
Chargers* (4-5) over Broncos (3-6)
More than any other game this week, I really wish that the Broncos can win this one. I'm fucking sick of the Chargers making late-season runs in the anemic AFC West.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 10 Picks

2010-11-10T21:49:00.005-06:00

This week kicks off Thursday night football, so look for look for my picks a day or two early from here on out, or (as was the case this week) my Thursday pick on Wednesday and the rest of my picks whenever I feel like gettin' around to 'em.
Make a note of it.

Last Week's Picks: 8/5
Season Record: 75/55

Thursday Night Game:
Ravens (6-2) over Falcons* (6-2)
Damn, this is a great game to kick off the Thursday night run. I'm sold on the Ravens, but the Falcons should put up a good fight on home turf.

Early Sunday Games:
Vikings (3-5) over Bears* (5-3)
The Vikes are a hot mess right now, and have been pulling out wins from thin air. I'd like to pick my Bears at home, but Minnesota really needs this win, and the Bears don't seem to have focus right now.

Bills* (0-8) over Lions (2-6)

The Lions are playing really tough right now and have been holding their own against some tough teams, but this is the Bills easiest chance at a win for the rest of the season. If the Bills don't get a win this week or next, they might not get one the rest of the year - They know this.

Jets (6-2) over Browns* (3-5)

Don't let the records fool you, this should be a good game. The Browns are hitting their stride (just ask New England), and the Jets barely held it together against the Lions last week. Plus, both teams know the others tricks due to the Ryan twins on opposing sidelines. I'm looking forward to this one.

Colts* (5-3) over Bengals (2-6)

The Colts rarely lose two games in a row, and the Bengals haven't won shit since week 3.

Titans (5-3) over Dolphins* (4-4)

How excited is everyone about the NFL return of Chad Pennington for Miami and the Titans debut of Randy Moss?
*crickets chirp*
Thought so.

Buccaneers* (5-3) over Panthers (1-7)

God, do the Panthers suck. They should just replace their offensive line with two orange cones and a length of caution tape.

Texans (4-4) over Jaguars* (4-4)

The Texicans came out red-hot out of the gate this year, but in recent weeks have gone ice-cold. The Jags are the portrait of mediocrity - The question is what side of that line do the Texans fall on.

Late Sunday Games:
Chiefs (5-3) over Broncos* (2-6)
I really want to like the Broncos, they just make it impossible. Kansas City should rack up season-record rushing stats over Denver in this one.

Giants* (6-2) over Cowboys (1-7)

Wade's out, Garrett's in... Wade, Garrett... Why's that sound familiar? Ah, Dude from Roadhouse.

Cardinals* (3-5) over Seahawks (4-4)

I've been over-estimating the Seahawks this season, plus they're racked with injuries. I'll take the Red Birds at home.

Rams (4-4) over 49ers* (2-6)

Look above at the records of the Cards/Shawks and the records of the Rams/Niners. The NFC West is wide-fucking-open.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (6-2) over Steelers* (6-2)
The easy pick would be to go with the Steelers at home here. The Pats got clowned last week against the lowly Browns - Whenever something like that happens, the next game the Hoodie comes out with guns blazing. Should be interesting.

Monday Night Game:
Eagles (5-3) over Redskins* (4-4)
Man, I really would like to pick my Skins here. They won in Philly earlier this year and are coming off of a bye-week, but I think that the Grossman stunt (that cost 'em their last game against the Lions) shot their season right between the eyes.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 9 Picks

2010-11-05T03:36:00.006-05:00

Well, last week was my first losing record of the season, and in the spirit of the election season, I've decided to blame my losing on Washington DC (the Redskins to be exact).
I'm still seething about Sexy Rexy and his 2 minute suck-harder-than-the-collective-force-of-a-million-black-holes drill last week (Much to Mr. ChrisB's delight).
Fucking Shanahan. If it weren't for him flushing Jake Plummer for Uber-Douche Cutler, he'd still be missing the playoffs out in Denver... OH, AND TO MENTION FUCKING CUTLER...
AAAARRRGGGGH!
*narrator shits pants, head explodes*

Last Week's Picks: 6/7
Season Record: 67/50

Early Sunday Games:
Bears (4-3) over Bills* (0-7)
I really think that the Bills are going to win this one in Toronto.
Why am I picking Bears? 1) I'm a Bears fan. 2) The Bears have no excuse to lose this one coming off of a bye-week. 3) If the Bears don't win here, they can kiss their post-season hopes goodbye. 4) The Bills still haven't won a damned game yet.
Yeah, The Bears are doomed.

Falcons* (5-2) over Buccaneers (5-2)

Whenever I'm faced with two evenly matched teams, and there's really no good intel to sway my decision, I just pick the home team.

Patriots (6-1) over Browns* (2-5)

Every year it seems that the Patriots overlook & lose a stupid game like this. Then again, the Browns have been losing games since 1946 - I'm going with the pros to lose this one.
Postgame: Told you so.

Jets (5-2) over Lions* (2-5)

If the Jets don't score more points than they did last week against the Pack, the Lions will win this one (or tie it at 0-0).

Vikings* (2-5) over Cardinals (3-4)

Okay, Anderson is starting for the Cardinals. Last week (to my horror) I switched over to the Cardinals-Bucs game and saw Max Hall (incidentally, a setting on my stereo receiver) starting for the Cards (who I stupidly picked)... Anyway, I still say that the imploding Vikes make a last grasp at the ring here.

Saints (5-3) over Panthers* (1-6)

I don't have anything to say about this game, so here's a record review: While typing out this I'm listening to the new Arrivals record (Volatile Molotov) and I'm really digging it. Their debut (Goodbye New World) was an incredible record, but their last few have come nowhere close to that one. Upon first listen, the new one might actually be good. That makes me very happy.
*edit* I just realized that new Arrivals lapsed into the new Articles of Faith EP (which was actually playing when I wrote this) - I didn't notice (yay, booze!), so I'm giving the AoF EP some props here too.

Ravens* (5-2) over Dolphins (4-3)

This should be a damned great game. The AFC wild-card slot could very well come down to this game (as a head-to-head tie-breaker).

Texans* (4-3) over Chargers (3-5)

I know that the Chargers always start off horrible and start running the table around this time of year. I really wish they'd stop doing that and just go away.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (4-3) over Giants (5-2)
I'm sure at this point in reading through this post, you're thinking that I just got liquored-up on Templeton Rye and drunkenly crapped out my picks this week. This pick right here cements that suspicion.

Chiefs* (5-2) over Raiders (4-4)

The Raiders have been red-hot the last few weeks. Yeah, so what, I'm keeping up my (Favre-like) streak of not picking Oakland. Suck on that, bitches.

Colts (5-2) over Eagles* (4-3)

Eagles are coming off of their bye here, and should be sharp. Still, I say the Colts win this one in a squeaker.

Sunday Night Game:
Packers* (5-3) over Cowboys (1-6)
Last week I had my first incorrect Packers pick of the season and my first correct Cowboys pick of the season. Then again, last week was high-fucked.

Monday Night Game:
Steelers (5-2) over Bengals* (2-5)
I'm surprised that the Bengals let the Titans get Randy Moss, as they seem to be collecting ill-tempered loud-mouthed shit-worthless wide-receivers.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 8 Picks

2010-10-29T17:20:00.004-05:00

It's Halloween season leading into a mid-term election and the scariest thing I've heard all week? The following quote by Lovie Smith:
''They don't give out championships in October, all right? You start getting yourself in position to make a run in November, in December. We have ourselves in position to make a run."
Are you fucking kidding me? Here's the rest of the schedule: @ Bills, Vikings, @ Dolphins, Eagles, @ Lions, Patriots, @ Vikings, Jets, @ Packers. We'll be lucky to get through at .500, and that's if the O-Line doesn't get Cutler killed.
I'm just glad the Bears have the week off so they won't ruin my holiday weekend.

Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 61/43

Early Sunday Games:

Dolphins (3-3) over Bengals* (2-4)

The Fish don't lose on the road (and don't win at home). Make a note of it.

Jaguars (3-4) over Cowboys* (1-5)

Fucking Cowboys... Still haven't picked ONE single 'Boys game right this season. The problem seems to be that I keep picking 'em to win.

Redskins (4-3) over Lions* (1-5)

Matt Stafford makes his return for Detroit this week. Somewhereearly in the 3rd he'll go out for another 7 weeks.
Postgame: FUCKING GROSSMAN! That twat went from fumbling away games for my Bears to fumbling away games for my Redskins.

Chiefs* (4-2) over Bills (0-6)

The Bills are eventually going to get a win somewhere this year. It isn't going to be in Kansas City, and I hope like hell it isn't going to be up in Toronto next week.
Postgame: This very well might have been the game of the season. The Bears can't sleep on the Bills next week.

Rams* (3-4) over Panthers (1-5)

The Panthers Beat the mighty Niners last week, let's see what they do up against a team with triple the wins this week.

Jets* (5-1) over Packers (4-3)

The only true hope that Chicago has this season lies with the ineptitude of the Pack and the imploding Vikes. Victory through attrition.

Broncos (2-5) over 49ers (1-6)

This game is being played in London on Halloween, so I give you this:
They called us walking corpses - Unholy living dead
They had to lock us up - Put us in their British Hell
I don't wanna be here in your London Dungeon
I don't wanna be here in your British Hell
Yeah, that sounds about right.

Late Sunday Games:
Titans (5-2) over Chargers* (2-5)
Every-fucking-body is picking the Chargers to win here. WHY?!?!
Postgame: That's why.

Seahawks (4-2) over Raiders* (3-4)

I'm really tempted to pick the Raiders at home, but I think that Carrol's Shawks have a slight edge in this one.

Patriots* (5-1) over Vikings (2-4)

The only real question here is whether Favre will get his 192nd consecutive start in this one. If not, it's the end for him in the NFL.

Cardinals* (3-3) over Buccaneers (4-2)

The Buccaneers are doing real well this season, but the teams they've beaten up to this point are a cumulative 8&18. I'm not buying into 'em quite yet.

Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (5-1) over Saints* (4-3)
Rooting Saints - Picking Steelers.

Monday Night Game:
Colts* (4-2) over Texans (4-2)
The Texans got their second win ever over the Colts in the opener this year. Another win here would be HUGE, but I'm not betting on lightning striking twice in the same season.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 7 Picks

2010-10-22T17:23:00.004-05:00

In lieu of an opening paragraph this week, here's a humorous photograph:

Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 52/38

Early Sunday Games:
Redskins (3-3) over Bears* (4-2)
Last week the Skins were two fingertips away from beating the mighty Colts. Last week the sucktacular Seahawks had both fists planted up the Bears' (collective) ass. This doesn't look good for Chicago.

Falcons* (4-2) over Bengals (2-3)

The Falcons don't lose at home, and the Bengals don't win ever.

Titans* (4-2) over Eagles (4-2)

I'll admit it, the Iggles are a lot better than I thought they would be. That said, the Titans are a damned tough team to beat.

Chiefs* (3-2) over Jaguars (3-3)

The Chiefs are dominant at home this season. Never thought I'd be writing that preceding sentence.

Steelers (4-1) over Dolphins* (3-2)

I'm tempted to pick the Fish here, but I'm not going to pick against the Steelers until they give me a reason to do so.

Saints* (4-2) over Browns (1-5)

I have nothing to say here. Should be a blow-out.

Rams (3-3) over Buccaneers* (3-2)

If it weren't for the Chiefs, the Rams would be the biggest shock of the season. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if they were a playoff team in the next couple of seasons.

49ers (1-5) over Panthers* (0-5)

The reason that the Rams might be a playoff team is that (as it turns out) the Niners suck it raw. The Panthers are even worse.

Ravens* (4-2) over Bills (0-5)

Yeesh. The Williams just can't catch a break - They also can't catch a ball.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (3-2) over Cardinals (3-2)
Fuck the NFC West. Whoever wins this game takes the lead in the division. At this point, the Rams and (to a lesser extent) the Niners are still in the hunt. Pathetic.

Broncos* (2-4) over Raiders (2-4)

The AFC West is almost as bad. I still like the Broncos, although I'm not quite sure why.

Patriots (4-1) over Chargers* (2-4)

If the Chargers can get a win here, they'll be right back in the mix in the aforementioned AFC West. Ain't gonna happen - The Chargers boat has sailed.

Sunday Night Game:
Packers* (3-3) over Vikings (2-3)
No matter what happens here, the Bears will still have the lead in the NFC North at week's end (due to the week 3 victory over the Pack). Let's enjoy that while it lasts.

Monday Night Game:
Cowboys* (1-4) over Giants (2-4)
Dallas needs a win here. Yeah, I say it every week, but that doesn't mean it isn't true every week. A win here could act as a catalyst for a winning season in Dallas.
--

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 6 Picks

2010-10-14T19:25:00.004-05:00

Every Riot Fest weekend my picks go to shit. Hell, I should consider myself lucky that this year I just went .500 - It's been worse. Now that my week-long bender is over, I can focus on football and chasing away this hangover.

Last Week's Picks: 7/7
Season Record: 44/32

Early Sunday Games:
Bears* (4-1) over Seahawks (2-2)
We get Cutler back this week. I can't wait until we get back an O-Line of some sort.

Dolphins (2-2) over Packers* (3-2)

I still haven't incorrectly picked a Packers game this season. Here's to keeping that streak going!

Chargers (2-3) over Rams* (2-3)

I keep getting screwed picking the stupid fucking Chargers. ...and here I go again.

Ravens (4-1) over Patriots* (3-1)

I say that the Ravens are the best team in the league right now. Here's that test.

Giants* (3-2) over Lions (1-4)

The Giants really looked bad up to that Bears game. Now they have new life - Not happy about that.

Falcons (4-1) over Eagles* (3-2)

The Eagles are good enough to beat the Lions, Jaguars, and 49ers. The Falcons have just as many wins as those 3 teams combined (and 10 less losses).

Steelers* (3-1) over Browns (1-4)

I have a seeking suspicion that the Steelers aren't going to be as good with Roethlisberger for the first few games he's back. Q: What's worse than a rusty rapist? A: Fresh meat - Colt McCoy is making his NFL debut for the Browns in this one.

Saints (3-2) over Buccaneers* (3-1)

The Saints really need a divisional road-win here to right their sinking ship. If not, I think that's it's gonna get ugly in flood-town.

Texans* (3-2) over Chiefs (3-1)

I really want to pick the Chiefs here, but the only team they've beaten on the road so far has been the Browns. I'd pick 'em in a heartbeat at home, but am going with the home team in this toss-up.

Late Sunday Games:
Jets (4-1) over Broncos* (2-3)
This one could be a lot closer than you'd think. This should be an entertaining game.

Raiders (2-3) over 49ers* (0-5)

Originally had the Niners winning here, but switched it at the last minute when I realized that I keep getting burned picking Samurai Mike's clown-squad.

Cowboys (1-3) over Vikings* (1-3)

I'm seriously wondering which one of these teams will be the first to claim 'Disappointed' by The Mushuganas as this year's team theme song. That would so rule.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts (3-2) over Redskins* (3-2)
I really want to pick the Redskins at home here against the wobbly Colts. I'm just worried that the Colts will blow up on my Skins here, and I'll feel like a double-plus idiot.

Monday Night Game:
Titans (3-2) over Jaguars* (3-2)
The Jags are 3&2?!?! Really?! I'll be damned.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 5 Picks

2010-10-07T18:29:00.001-05:00

It's that time of the year again. The time when I forget all about the NFL and get my music geek up and runnin' for Riot Fest. I've sobered up just enough from last night's Naked Raygun show to whip out some picks before tonight's Bhopal Stiffs show.

Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 37/25

Early Sunday Games:
Bears (3-1) over Panthers* (0-4)
Man, last Monday's Bears game was the ugliest football game I've ever seen. They need redemption, and are going to have to get it with Todd Collins at QB. Here's hoping.

Redskins* (2-2) over Packers (3-1)

Yeah, I'm playing favorites here. I believe the 'Skins are better than people think, and the Pack are worse than people think. Then again, I'm biased.

Jaguars (2-2) over Bills* (0-4)

**stares blankly, moves on**

Bengals* (2-2) over Buccaneers (2-1)

The Bengals really need to start winning if they're going to live up to their preseason hype.

Falcons* (3-1) over Browns (1-3)

Heck of a job, Brownies on your win last week. Now you can go back to sleep.

Rams (2-2) over Lions* (0-4)

The Lions are the sexy upset pick this week. They're looking better, but the Rams might actually be good with Bradford at QB.

Colts* (2-2) over Chiefs (3-0)

I really want to pick the Chiefs here, but 'Chiefs over Colts' just doesn't look right.

Ravens* (3-1) over Broncos (2-2)

A Broncos win would be HUGE here, but I say the Ravens are the best team in the NFL right now,

Texans* (3-1) over Giants (2-2)

Last time I checked, the Texans had an offensive line (unlike other teams best left unmentioned after last week)- They should do fine against the Giants.

Late Sunday Games:
Saints (3-1) over Cardinals* (2-2)
The Saints have had their ups and downs this year. The Cards just have just had downs.

Cowboys* (1-2) over Titans (2-2)

Wow, here's a dumb pick. I just think that the Boys need to win this one off of their bye week.

Chargers* (2-2) over Raiders (1-3)

This match-up is about as exciting as a cup of flour. Next!

Sunday Night Game:
49ers* (0-4) over Eagles (2-2)
Okay, now we're talking! If Samurai Mike loses five in a row, watch for his head to explode all Scanners style over on the sideline. Now THAT'S entertainment.

Monday Night Game:
Jets* (3-1) over Vikings (1-2)
Randy Moss makes his (less than) triumphant return to the Vikings. Unfortunately for him, said return happens in the Meadowlands against the red-hot Jets.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 4 Picks

2010-10-01T18:41:00.003-05:00

It's week four of the 2010 NFL season and the undefeated teams are the (Roethlisberger-less) Steelers, The Kansas City Chiefs, and the Bears... Really? Are you sure? That's some wacky shit right there.
Anyhow, I'm kinda in a rush and am pushing this out at the last minute, so enough with the chit-chat, let's half-ass our way through some picks.

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 29/19

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (2-1) over 49ers (0-3)
The Niners just can't get a break, and things really don't bode well for teams who jettison their Offensive Coordinators early in the season. It looks to be a bleak season out in the Bay.

Jets* (2-1) over Bills (0-3)

I have very little to say here. The Jets look good, the Williams don't. Period.

Bengals (2-1) over Browns* (0-3)

The Browns really aren't as bad as their record suggests. This could be a trap-game for Cincy.

Packers* (2-1) over Lions (0-3)

Go Detroit!

Titans* (2-1) over Broncos (1-2)

Denver is running up crazy numbers on offense, and still losing games. This could go either way, but I'm sticking with the winning team.

Seahawks (2-1) over Rams* (1-2)

Saint Louis sprung their trap-game last week on the fucking Redskins. The Seahawks should be fine.

Saints* (2-1) over Panthers (0-3)

The Saints are one blown chip-shot field-goal away from being undefeated. Ouch.

Ravens (2-1) over Steelers* (3-0)

The Ravens are a damned good team, and I just can't believe that the Steelers are going to go 4&0 without Mr. Grabby-Feely.

Late Sunday Games:
Texans (2-1) over Raiders* (1-2)
The Raiders lost a heart-breaker last week on a bad kick. Unfortunately for them, it doesn't get any easier this week.

Colts (2-1) over Jaguars* (1-2)

The Jags stink on ice. The Colts may as well have a bye-week here.

Redskins (1-2) over Eagles* (2-1)

This is the day that McNabb has waited for since the day he was discarded by the Iggles. He wants nothing more than to march into the Link and clown his old team in their house. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, because if it goes the other way it's just gonna be sad.

Chargers* (1-2) over Cardinals (2-1)

September is over. Time for the Chargers to start winning games.

Sunday Night Game:
Bears (3-0) over Giants* (1-2)
The Giants are a wreck right now. Unless the Bears self-destruct, they should score a nice road win.
Postgame: BOOOOOM! They self-destructed real good.

Monday Night Game:
Dolphins* (2-1) over Patriots (2-1)
Flip a coin. The Fish always seem to find a way to beat the Pats once a year, so I'm going with them at home.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 3 Picks

2010-09-24T16:59:00.006-05:00

Man, I've been sick-as-hell all week. The upside? I've been stuck to the couch and have been watching a lot of last week's games (in their entirety) on on-demand. Okay, maybe that really isn't an upside, per se, but hopefully I figured out some teams in my fevered delirium. I even took notes; lemme see... It says right here that the Browns are going all the way this year.... Oh, shit. Nevermind.

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 18/14

Early Sunday Games:

Chiefs* (2-0) over 49ers (0-2)

Fuck this, I'm not picking the win-less Niners in a road game against an undefeated team no matter how badly I want to.

Vikings* (0-2) over Lions (0-2)

I sorta feel bad for the Lions, they lost two really close games at the last minute. Make it three after this week.

Patriots* (1-1) over Bills (0-2)

The Bills have a secret weapon that they're unveiling against the Pats this week. That secret weapon is... Ryan Fitzpatrick?!?! What a bunch of Chan Gaywads.

Saints* (2-0) over Falcons (1-1)

The Saints are looking really shaky right now and they're missing the former Mr. Heisman at RB, I'm still not betting against 'em.

Titans (1-1) over Giants* (1-1)

It's a toss-up on which of these teams is more dysfunctional at the moment. I say it's NY.

Steelers (2-0) over Buccaneers* (2-0)

I'm done picking against the Steelers after getting burned two weeks in a row. I'm not quite done picking against the Bucs after getting burned two weeks in a row.

Bengals (1-1) over Panthers* (0-2)

**in olde-tyme announcer voice**
Here comes the young Jimmy Pickles to propel the poor pathetic Panthers to platitudes of plaudits... possibly. I possess a premonition that his putrescence play will pause purely for punting. I'm positively picking against the Panthers in this roughshod pussy-fight.

Ravens* (1-1) over Browns (0-2)

My brain hurts after that last one - Luckily, this one is an easy pick. Despite my aforementioned fevered scribblings, the Browns are (in fact) not good.

Texans* (2-0) over Cowboys (0-2)

Week 1: I picked the Cowboys to beat my Redskins - They lost. Week 2: I picked the Cowboys to beat my Bears - They lost. I fucking LOVE this team. As a reward, I'm going to pick against 'em this week so they can go ahead and get a win.

Late Sunday Games:

Redskins (1-1) over Rams* (0-2)

Aaaaargh! The Skins are one sneaky overtime time-out away from being undefeated. Man, that's still killing me. This week they get a conciliatory trip to the 'Gateway to the West' to play with the Sheep.

Jaguars* (1-1) over Eagles (1-1)

Ooooh, Mike Vick (barely) beat the Lions last week - He's so good. Kevin Kolb is lucky he got benched. The Beagles' O-Line is one of the worst in the league, and whoever Philly has behind center is going to be running for their lives all afternoon.

Colts (1-1) over Broncos* (1-1)

I really want to like the Broncos... they just make it so damned hard.

Cardinals* (1-1) over Raiders (1-1)

I was ecstatic when the Redskins got McNabb and traded starting QB, Jason Campbell, to Oakland. He made it two whole games. Gradkowski starts for the Raiders in this one.

Chargers (1-1) over Seahawks* (1-1)

I can't figure out why I'm picking the Chargers here. San Diego always starts off slow, their team is on the verge of revolt, and Seattle dominated in their home opener. I think I'm just playing it "safe" and going with the favorite because my next two picks are really out on a limb.

Sunday Night Game:

Jets (1-1) over Dolphins* (2-0)

I should pick the Fish in their (humid) home opener, but I'm still damned impressed with the Jets win over the Pats last week. NY has the swagger going into this one, and I'm a sucker for swagger.

Monday Night Game:

Bears* (2-0) over Packers (2-0)

Okay, fuckers... I'm picking you here, don't bitch me on this one. I figured that the Bears would split with the Pack this year and if they can get a win here they will be in a very good position for their upcoming East-Coast 2 game road-trip. They lose here, and the Bears are who we thought they were, and we prematurely crowned their ass.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 2 Picks

2010-09-16T17:34:00.003-05:00

Yeah, I knew it from the get-go. In the first week if i had just picked home teams, I would have gone 12&4 = Good. Instead, I got fancy and went 8&8 = Not so good.
This week I'm getting back to basics and should begin to dig myself out of the hole.

Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 8/8

Early Sunday Games:

Falcons* (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)

The Cardinals barely pulled off a victory against the Rams last week. I say the Falcons win in Atlanta

Ravens (1-0) over Bengals* (0-1)

The Ravens are playing mad right out of the gate. Cincy is probably the more talented team, but I'm not picking against the Ravens after last week.

Chiefs (1-0) over Browns* (0-1)

Okay, The Browns LOST to the crappy Bucs last week and the Chiefs WON over the playoff Chargers last week. So why is everybody picking Cleveland to win this one?

Cowboys* (0-1) over Bears (1-0)

The Bears got the most embarrassing win in NFL history last week. The Cowboys had an embarrassing loss, but I say that the Chicago win was even more demoralizing.

Eagles (0-1) over Lions* (0-1)

Kevin Kolb is already out at QB in Philly, and the Michael Vick Experience comes to the Motor City. The only reason I'm picking the Eagles is that they're playing the Stafford-less Lions.

Packers* (1-0) over Bills (0-1)

I love me some Buffalo Williams, but they look BAD this year (and not in a Michael Jackson way, unless we're talking in a "dead-as-Michael-Jackson" way).

Titans* (1-0) over Steelers (1-0)

The Steelers pulled off a win last week. Good for them, didn't see that coming. The Titans exploded last week (in a good way). I don't see Pittsburgh getting lucky two weeks in a row.

Vikings* (0-1) over Dolphins (1-0)

This is the toss-up game of the week. I want to pick Miami, but am going with the Vikes at home.

Panthers* (0-1) over Buccaneers (1-0)

After week 1, I'm tempted to pick the Bucs here, but the Panthers own 'em on home turf.

Late Sunday Games:

Broncos* (0-1) over Seahawks (1-0)

Why do I keep picking the fucking Broncos? Somebody help me.

Raiders* (0-1) over Rams (0-1)

If the Raiders don't get a win at home this week against the Rams I doubt that Tom Cable will be coaching this team by the end of the season.

Patriots (1-0) over Jets* (0-1)

The Jets should do well this season despite being 0&2 at the end of this week.

Chargers* (0-1) over Jaguars (1-0)

The Bolts got clowned last week in Kansas City. I know that they always start off slow and finish strong, but they really need a win at home this week to keep the roof from blowing off.

Texans (1-0) over Redskins* (1-0)

I really want to pick my Skins here, but the Texans beat down the Colts last week, so I'm picking with my head over my heart on this one. Regardless, this is my game of the week - Hands down.

Sunday Night Game:

Colts* (0-1) over Giants (1-0)

Somehow, I really don't give a half-a-shit about this one. Does Dexter start this week or next? Anyone?

Monday Night Game:

Saints (1-0) over 49ers* (0-1)

It's not even week 2 yet, and the Niners are already making me look like a double-plus retard for stating that they'd win the NFC West this year.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 1 Picks (2010 Edition)

2010-09-08T22:46:00.007-05:00

Here we go into my 4th season of picking games. Damn, I've lasted longer than the #1 pick in the draft that year (JaMarcus Russell) - Go me!
Anyway, it's week one and no-fucking-body knows what's gonna happen. There are maybe 3 "gimme" picks this week. I'm stabbing blindly on this one and picking heavily against the home teams, which means that I'll probably spend the rest of the season trying to catch back up. Welcome to the season, asshole.

2009/2010 Season Record: 171/98
2010/2011 Season Record: 0/0

Thursday Night Game:

Saints* (0-0) over Vikings (0-0)

Here's one hell of a game to kick off the season. I'm betting that the Vikes aren't 'together' enough at this point to top the Super Bowl champs.

Early Sunday Games:

Browns (0-0) over Buccaneers* (0-0)

The Browns aren't looking so great this year, but they still look good enough to beat what I'm guessing is going to be the worst team this season.

Dolphins (0-0) over Bills* (0-0)

Chan Gailey... I'll get right on that as soon as I figure out how to 'chan'.

Patriots* (0-0) over Bengals (0-0)

The Bengals are looking sharp right now and the Pats are shaking apart at the seams. I'm still going with the home team in the opener.

Colts (0-0) over Texans* (0-0)

The Colts own the Texans every single season. Super Bowl hangover or not, bet the Colts.

Broncos (0-0) over Jaguars* (0-0)

I'm picking the Broncos here? Really?!? Fuck me.

Falcons (0-0) over Steelers* (0-0)

Rapistberger is barred from any contact with the Steelers (and any unattended minors) for the first 4 games this season, Byron Chipwich and his busted trotter are going to be watching this one from the DL, so Dennis Dixon is getting his second start for the Steelers. I'm going with Atlanta.

Titans* (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)

I'm digging on the Raiders this year, and originally had them winning this one... Then I thought about it for a bit, and flipped like a prepubescent Chinese gymnast.

Giants* (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)

The G-Men get a gift for the first game in their shiny new stadium.

Bears* (0-0) over Lions (0-0)

ACHTUNG! Hey Bears, watch out for Ndamukong Suh! This guy has been clowning QBs in the preseason. If our shitty O-Line doesn't hold up their end, we may be trudging through this season with Cutler on the DL.

Late Sunday Games:

Cardinals (0-0) over Rams* (0-0)

The new and not-so-improved Cards hit the turf against the bottom-dwelling Rams. This won't be good, but it should be interesting.

Packers (0-0) over Eagles* (0-0)

I still say that the Pack is WAY over-rated, but I think that Philly is in for a shock without McNabb behind center.

49ers (0-0) over Seahawks* (0-0)

I like the Niners to take the NFC West this year (yeah, I know that I say that every year, but this time I'm so damn sure).

Sunday Night Game:

Cowboys (0-0) over Redskins* (0-0)

The Cowboys were struggling in preseason and my Skins are looking sharp this year, but preseason is preseason, and the Skins still have to gel before I pick them against a playoff team. Picking Boys, rooting Skins.

Monday Night Games:

Jets* (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)

I bet Rex is wishing that he got a gift-team in his new stadium opener (like the Giants did). Not so much. This is going to be one hell of a battle.

Chargers (0-0) over Chiefs*(0-0)
This is why I decided to pick games for another season - To make turds like this game half-way interesting. Here's hoping.
---

Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's Mail-Sack

2010-09-02T15:13:00.006-05:00

Here's a new feature wherein I take private e-mail correspondence and slap it up on teh interwebs for everyone to see.

Mr. Papa B from Sugar Glove, IL writes:
"Where do you have them? I was thinking 10-6 before the preseason, but now
I'm thinking more like 8-8, if that. Depressing. On the other hand, now you
can see that it wasn't all Grossman's fault. He was a serviceable QB
surrounded by dullards. Cutler is having the same experience here. Mostly,
though - I miss Ron Rivera. I felt like the defense and the special teams
unit were coached well enough through the super bowl season to be dominant.
Didn't matter how good the offense was. Bleh."
---

Where to start... How's about the schedule:
9/12 DETROIT
9/19 at Dallas
9/27 GREEN BAY
10/3 at NY Giants
10/10 at Carolina
10/17 SEATTLE
10/24 WASHINGTON
10/31 BYE WEEK
11/7 at Buffalo
11/14 MINNESOTA
11/18 at Miami
11/28 PHILADELPHIA
12/5 at Detroit
12/12 NEW ENGLAND
12/20 at Minnesota
12/26 NY JETS
1/2 at Green Bay

The only two good things about that schedule are that the bye is at week 8, and we get to play the Lions twice. That's about it. We have the entire NFC East and AFC East on our plates this season, we'd be BLESSED to end the season at 8&8. I say it's more likely between 4&12 and 7&9 - It really depends if we can get a couple of games off of the Vikings/Packers (as we seem to do every year).

Sexy Rexy Grossman is a Redskin this year and I've been watching him in preseason. He looks better, but he still makes a ton of stupid throws even when he's safe behind a stable O-Line. I see McNabb going out for a stretch this year, so this year should be Grossie's opportunity to shut everyone up (myself included). I still say that Orton was a better QB for the Bears than Rexy, what I didn't know is that Cutler would be a down-grade at the position. I guess I was right about JC back when I was slamming him back in his Broncos days. --LINK (see: Sunday Night Game)--

As for Rivera, his play-it-safe Superbowl game-plan cost him a head coaching spot at the end of his Bears tenure. He would have been gone regardless, but the ineptitude of his successors makes him look golden in hindsight.

I love me some Bears, but am (not so) secretly wishing for this year to be an unmitigated disaster. For the past few seasons rumors have abounded that Bill Cowher is laying in wait for the Bears to jettison Lovie. I like Lovie, but "nice" coaches drive me fucking nutty, and they don't get any nicer that Reverend Smith. I really want to see the Bears go back to being a MEAN team, and that starts with the coaching staff. Oh, and if we flame-out this year Angelo goes bye-bye too, guaranteed.

So, essentially, what I'm saying is that I hope the Bears fail miserably this year, for their own good. Watch them get to the playoffs just to spite me.

Sports

2010-06-08T13:11:00.001-05:00

How bout them blackhawks?

The Liar's Super Bowl XLIV Pick

2010-02-04T15:21:00.006-06:00

Man, it's been a long season. It's hard to keep paying attention when my home teams (Bears/Skins) have been so effing atrocious this year. Nonetheless, it's all coming to an end this Sunday on an incredible high-note. I'm super psyched for Super Bowl XLIV (named as such insofar as I will need a XL IV to rehydrate after a solid weekend of drinkin'). --insert rimshot-- I'm in whole-hog for the game this year, and can't wait for kickoff. Surprisingly, I can't think of anything interesting to say, so I'll spare you the rambling and get straight to the pick before I make any more awful roman numeral jokes.

Last Week's Picks: 2/0
Season Record: 170/98

Super Bowl XLIV - 6PM (CST):
Saints (15-3) over Colts (16-2)
I think that the Colts have an edge here, but I'm going with the Saints just because I really want to see them win. Simple as that. At this point I'm not concerned about numbers (that ship sailed weeks ago). I'm content to dig in my heels and root for my favorite team.
If you want statistical match-ups between Manning & Brees, a load of medical jargon about Freeney's ankle, a round-table on the comparative hotness of either squad's cheerleaders, or an in depth analysis of the role of the Gatorade holders in the collective conscience of modern sport just go to any other site on the internet (that isn't hocking porn) and you'll find that crap in droves. All I've got is love of the game.

Go Saints!

The Liar's NFL Conference Championship Playoff Picks

2010-01-22T10:54:00.005-06:00

At long last, our enduring national nightmare has come to an end. For the first time since February 3rd, 2008 the Arizona Cardinals have been eliminated from the NFL postseason. Huzzah!!!
I'm so goddamned excited about the two games this weekend that I sorta peed a little bit just thinking about 'em. Enough with this intro jibber-jabber, let's get straight to some picks:

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 168/98

Sunday Afternoon Game - 2PM (CST):
Colts* (15-2) over Jets (11-7)
Why am I picking the Colts here? Because I want the Jets to win here more than I've wanted any team to win in any given game this season. If the Jets lose, I'll be crestfallen, so I'm hedging my enthusiasm with a Clots pick. If Indy hadn't surrendered half way through the game back in week 16, the Jets would be watching football from their collective couches this week. How amazing would it be if they could end the Colts' perfect season AND playoff run within one month? Stuff of legends, boys. If New York wins this one, they should send Jim Caldwell the game ball, and the Colts should send that fucking loser his walking papers.

Sunday Night Game - 5:40PM (CST):
Saints* (14-3) over Vikings (13-4)
I'm torn - I'm pulling for the Saints from here on out, but I'd really like to see Favre win it all this year, retire, and leave the NFC North once and for all. Dare to dream.
This should be one hell of a game, and it's going to all rest on the Saints defense. Everyone knows that if you can get a few good hits on Favre and follow through with steady pressure that ol' Brett gets shakier than a Haitian orphanage. Bringing the hurt down on the old man is going to be Floodtown's key to victory. If not, then the Purple Penis Eaters are heading to Miami.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Divisional Playoff Picks

2010-01-14T17:54:00.004-06:00

Well, that was ugly. Last week failed to deliver much action and even fewer correct picks. I guess jokes about quantum physics don't translate well into wins. Who knew? I'm not going to get fancy this week - In fact, I'm going base. Here's hoping that works.

Last Week's Picks: 1/3
Season Record: 166/96

Saturday Afternoon Game:
Saints* (13-3) over Cardinals (11-6)
NOOOOO! Why won't the motherhumping Cardinals just leave us alone? It's like a cut-rate 80's slasher flick - Every time I think they're gone for good, they pop back up and keep slogging deeper into the playoffs. It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!
*sob*

Saturday Night Game:
Colts* (14-2) over Ravens (10-7)
Okay, I know I said that I wasn't going to pick the Colts again after their shameful surrender back in week 16, but I'm really hoping that they can squeak through here and lose next week to the full-throttle Chargers (yet again), or (even better) go down in flames against the Jets who they rolled over to and let into the postseason. That would be super fucking sweet.

Early Sunday Game:
Cowboys (12-5) over Vikings* (12-4)
I'm calling this one as the game of the week. I have no idea what's gonna happen, but I have a feeling that it's gonna be good. The Boys are en fuego right now, but Favre would skull-fuck a busload of cancer kids if he thought that would help him secure one final Super Bowl win. Who wants it more? Well, Favre - hands down, but are the Vikes going to be good enough to get it done?

Late Sunday Game:
Chargers* (13-3) over Jets (10-7)
A few weeks ago (on a pick 'em site) I picked the Chargers to win the Super Bowl this year. I say they're the best team in the playoffs this year (which is hard to admit, since I fucking hate them). Please prove me wrong Rex.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Wild-Card Weekend Playoff Picks

2010-01-08T15:19:00.003-06:00

This looks familiar.
Three of the four wild-card games feature teams that played each other last week. Trippy, it's like the NFL just went all Groundhog Day. If three or more games are the same next week, then we definitely have some serious issues with the spacetime continuum.
Assuming that is the case, I'm preemptively stocking up on tinfoil hats and looking into investing in some sweet 4th dimension Möbius box-seats for the Super Bowl (which I'm guessing will be Cowboys -vs- Eagles for the 5th straight week).

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 165/93

Saturday Afternoon Game:
Bengals* (10-6) over Jets (9-7)
If you listen to Rex Ryan, the Jets have a Superbowl victory all wrapped up. Then again, if you listened to Ryan two weeks ago, he said that the Jets' season was over. I fucking love this guy, he's just as drunk as I am! WOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, I know that the Jets put up a 37-0 beatdown on the Bengals last week. I even think that Cincy was playing to win in the first half, but as the game went on I think that the Bengals folded early and decided to save all of their fancified trickification for this week, all the while getting some great film of the Jets cards. I'd love to see way more of Rex Ryan in the postseason, but I think that Cincy is going to spring the trap back on their home-turf.

Saturday Night Game:
Cowboys* (11-5) over Eagles (11-5)
Man, the story-lines behind this game are insane - Romo has never won a playoff game, McNabb has never lost a first-round playoff game, Wade Phillips' job is on the line (yet again), The Eagles haven't won a game against the Boys this season, and to top it all off these teams HATE each other. I'm supergluing myself to the couch for this one.
I know that every playoff game Romo pulls a Romo to kill the game at the last minute, I know that Reid and McNabb are playoff tested, I know that this game could go either way on a whim, but I really think that the Cowboys are the superior team this season and have more than what it takes to shut down Philly down in the Jerry Dome.

Early Sunday Game:
Patriots* (10-6) over Ravens (9-7)
Here's the only game that doesn't fit the Groundhog Day analogy (although they did meet back in week 4), so throughout the game I'm going to pretend that Belichick is the Bill Murray character and that Harbaugh is the Andie MacDowell character. I say they totally hook-up by the end.
My favorite thing about the Partiots going into the playoffs is how their super-secret injury reports suddenly go all too public. Welker is out, that's for sure, but Brady's shoulder and Moss' limp are pure kabuki theater. I wouldn't be surprised if the Hoodie wheeled out the O-line out in iron lungs before the game. You gotta love that.

Late Sunday Game:
Packers (11-5) over Cardinals* (10-6)
I didn't want to watch this game last week, what makes you think that...
Shoveling snow, huh?
Okay, you win. Fuck it.
Last year I bet against the Cards all the way through the playoffs and got schooled. Apparently, I haven't learned my lesson. How can I have any faith in what easily is the most erratic team of the past couple of seasons? According to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, in any given game the Arizona Cardinals have both WON and LOST the game until the game is observed. Which is problematic, as no one wishes to observe such things. Logical positivism, FTW!
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 17 Picks

2010-01-02T12:19:00.004-06:00

Here it is, the last week of regular season professional tackle football. I'm posting late because of all of the drinky fun this last week. Actually, I'm blowing off something right now to get this out of the way, so let's get this fucker done - The booze is a-callin'.

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 156/84

Early Sunday Games:
Bills* (5-10) over Colts (14-1)
If the Clots are gonna roll over and play dead for the Jets, I see no reason for them to even suit up for this one. Why not just stay home and forfeit the game, you pussies?

Jaguars (7-8) over Browns* (4-11)
The Browns have been playing crazy-good football in the end-stretch, and I'm seriously tempted to pick them here, but Jacksonville is playing for a potential play-off spot here (with plenty of outside help). I say that the Jags get it done.

Bears (6-9) over Lions* (2-13)
I called it last week, but now I'm horrified that last week's inspired win over the Viqueens might just save a bunch of careers that don't deserve saving.

49ers (7-8) over Rams* (1-14)
One year ago I said that the Niners would win the NFC West this year. If they can get 3 wins on Sunday (and a Cardinals loss), they'll have it.

Dolphins* (7-8) over Steelers (8-7)
I'm not crazy about the Dolphins, but I have very little faith in the Steelers right now. That being said, if they win this one, watch out!

Vikings* (11-4) over Giants (8-7)
It's debatable which of these teams had the more embarrassing loss last week. The Giants are out, and the Vikes are gasping for air. Minnesota really needs a win here going into the post-season.

Falcons (8-7) over Buccaneers* (3-12)
Neither of these teams has anything to play for, but I think that the Falcons have more pride on the line here.

Saints (13-2) over Panthers* (7-8)
Everybody is picking the Panthers in this one, but I can't see the Saints going into the play-offs with a 3 game skid.

Patriots (10-5) over Texans* (8-7)
Same here, everybody seems to like the Texicans in this one. I don't see the Hoodie pulling an Indy and flying the white flag out in Houston.

Late Sunday Games:
Cowboys* (10-5) over Eagles (11-4)
NOOOOOO! The Chicago market has the stupid fucking Pack v. Cards game - Thank Christ for NFL Red Zone.

Broncos* (8-7) over Chiefs (3-12)
You Denver motherfuckers aren't making it easy to root for you. The Broncos still have 10 ways to make it into the playoffs. I say they'll sneak in, but with some serious help.

Ravens (8-7) over Raiders* (5-10)
Who the hell knows whats going on with either of these teams from week to week? I'm picking the Ravens because they need this win to stay alive, but I'm not really feeling it.

Cardinals* (10-5) over Packers (10-5)
Both of these teams are in, and I couldn't possibly be less interested in either of 'em.

Chargers* (12-3) over Redskins (4-11)
This game means less than nothing. The Chargers have the second seed in the AFC locked down, just as the Skins have a high first round 2010 draft pick locked down.

Titans (7-8) over Seahawks* (5-10)
It'll be a huge accomplishment if the Titans can end the season 8&8, not great enough to get them into the postseason, but pretty good nonetheless.

Sunday Night Game:
Bengals (10-5) over Jets* (8-7)
The Jets win this one and they're play-off bound. I say they choke.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks

2009-12-24T16:32:00.009-06:00

It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting ready for my annual "Fairytale of New York" bar crawl. Before my booze-fueled wassailing adventure commences, I really should post up some picks before I get locked in the drunk tank for the weekend.
Here we go:

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 147/77

Friday Night Game:
Chargers (11-3) over Titans* (7-7)
I had the Titans winning this one, and then just spent the last 10 minutes trying to type out an explanation that didn't sound completely retarded. I failed, and then promptly changed my pick.

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (7-7) over Bills (5-9)
Both of these teams are done for the season. I'm not going to waste any more time here.

Bengals* (9-5) over Chiefs (3-11)
The Bengals have to win just one more to lock down a playoff berth. Here it is.

Raiders (5-9) over Browns* (3-11)
Both of these terrible teams have been looking pretty damned good lately. Trippy.

Packers* (9-5) over Seahawks (5-9)
The Packers need one more win (or a Giants loss) to secure a wild-card spot. Go Seattle!

Dolphins* (7-7) over Texans (7-7)
Hey everybody, It's the Mediocrity Bowl!

Patriots* (9-5) over Jaguars (7-7)
The Pats have been shaky this season, but not at home.

Saints* (13-1) over Buccaneers (2-12)
Well, the Saints got their loss outta the way last week. Conversely, the Buccaneers got their win outta the way last week.

Giants* (8-6) over Panthers (6-8)
The G-Men need to win to stay in.
Postgame: OUT!

Ravens (8-6) over Steelers* (7-7)
Apparently I'm the only one who thinks that the Steelers are gonna lose here. No matter how bad Pittsburgh wants to win, Baltimore wants them to lose twice as much.

Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals* (9-5) over Rams (1-13)
The Cards are in the playoffs again this year.... hoo-fucking-ray.

49ers* (6-8) over Lions (2-12)
Yeah, My prediction of the Niners winning the NFC West isn't looking so hot right now.

Colts* (14-0) over Jets* (7-7)
Now that the Saints are out, I'm pulling for the Colts to stay undefeated and win the Super Bowl just so the '72 Dolphins can finally shut the fuck up.
Postgame: Dear Indy, You're dead to me - I hope you soulless fucks have fun losing in the AFC divisional round. That was the most pathetic surrender of a game in the history of sport, and I sincerely I hope you never win another game until your franchise gets shipped out to LA.

Broncos (8-6) over Eagles* (10-4)
I still believe, but it's taking more and more booze each week to do so.

Cowboys (9-5) over Redskins* (4-10)
Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know I said last week that I was gonna pick the Skins here, but this pick is already sandwiched by two even stupider picks.

Monday Night Game:
Bears* (5-9) over Vikings (11-3)
I'm not sure if it's the Christmas spirit, or the distilled spirits I've been sipping throughout the typing out of this post, but I'm predicting a holiday miracle right here. Don't ask me why - I'm far too buzzed to type out an explanation.
Postgame: I fucking told you so!
I'm like Scatman Crothers up in this shit.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks

2009-12-17T17:24:00.008-06:00

I'm not going to get to watch most of the games this week. Thursday I'm heading out to Quenchers for a show, Saturday I'm going to try and make it out to DeKalb, and Sunday the family is doing an early Christmas. I should be able to catch the Skins -vs- Giants game on Monday... Fuck it - I'll take it.

Woo-Hoo, holidays!

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 138/70

Thursday Night Game:
Colts (13-0) over Jaguars* (7-6)
Around this time every year the Colts have homefield locked down. They put in their 3rd stringers so that their star players can get slow, lazy, and lose to the Chargers in the first round of the playoffs. I'm hoping that they've learned that lesson and play through like men.

Saturday Night Game:
Saints* (13-0) over Cowboys (8-5)
There's only one thing that could get me to miss what looks to be the game of the week: OLD DOG'S MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY!!! I'm gonna try like hell to get out to D-Town and beer it up with everyone's favorite aged canid.

Early Sunday Games:
Patriots (8-5) over Bills* (5-8)
The Patriots really need to get their first (domestic) road win here. I'd feel better about this pick if this was one of the Bills' Canadian outings, as the Pats are undefeated in foreign lands so far this season.

Cardinals (8-5) over Lions* (2-11)
I can't tell you how happy a Lions win here would make me. C'mon Detroit, try not to fail at one thing for once.

Titans* (6-7) over Dolphins (7-6)
Miami has a lot more to play for in this one, but a loss (effectively) ends the Titans season. I say that Tennessee has just enough fight left in 'em to pull this off.

Chiefs* (3-10) over Browns (2-11)
The Browns got in their statement win last week (against the Steelers), the Chiefs got their statement win back in week 11 (against the Steelers) - Fucking Steelers.

Texans (6-7) over Rams* (1-12)
Hey, look! It's a game that I feel safe in picking the Texans. Finally.

Jets* (7-6) over Falcons (6-7)
The Falcons are still filthy with injuries, and the Jets proved that they could win big last week without their star QB (who should be back for this one). Then again, the decimated Falcons almost upended the undefeated Saints last week, so...

Eagles* (9-4) over 49ers (6-7)
San Francisco is looking like a championship team now that I turned my back on them (for the umpteenth time this season). On the other side, the Beagles are en fuego right now. This has all the makings of a classic slug-match, but I have a feeling that it's going to be a huge let down.

Ravens* (7-6) over Bears (5-8)
The Bears are out for the season - At this point all they can do is lay down and try and secure a high draft pick for the Broncos.

Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (8-5) over Raiders* (4-9)
The Raiders are starting Charlie Frye at quarterback this week. It's official: The QB that wasn't good enough for the Cleveland Browns is still better than JaMarcus Russell.

Bengals (9-4) over Chargers* (10-3)
24 hours ago I would have picked the Chargers here. Chris Henry's death changes all that. I say the Bengals win on emotion (as did the Skins late in 2007 after the death of Sean Taylor).

Steelers* (6-7) over Packers (9-4)
I couldn't be more over the Steelers right now, but I'm hoping that someone (anyone) lays down the hurt on the Pack before the playoffs.

Seahawks* (5-8) over Buccaneers (1-12)
I'm kinda in a rush here to get out to the bar. I'm not gonna waste any more time trying to think of anything insightful to say about this turd-bowl.

Sunday Night Game:
Vikings (11-2) over Panthers* (5-8)
I sure am glad that Green Bay shipped Favre off to New York so that the Bears wouldn't have to worry about that clown dominating the NFC North.
Wait... what?!?!

Monday Night Game:
Giants (7-6) over Redskins* (4-9)
I'm seriously tempted to pick the Skins here, but I think that they're saving up all of their upsettin' for the final game against the Cowboys.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks

2009-12-10T16:32:00.010-06:00

Well, this week is already off to inauspicious start (fucking Steelers). Here's hoping (against hope) that the Thursday game isn't a portent of things to come.

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 127/65

Thursday Night Game:
Steelers (6-6) over Browns* (1-11)
I'm going miss this one. Why, you ask? Because I'm gonna be rocking out to Cheap Trick at the Allstate Arena. In your face, sports.
Postgame: By the looks of it, the Steelers would have had a much better night if they (collectively) had snuck out to a concert.

Early Sunday Games:
Saints* (12-0) over Falcons (6-6)
New Orleans has "Who Dat", Cincinnati has "Who Dey". The Norwad & I decided that we're going to popularize "To Whom Does That Concern" as the new Bears slogan. I think it's damned catchy.

Packers (8-4) over Bears* (5-7)
Okay, I think that the Bears are probably gonna win this as a last-gasp grasp at mediocrity, but I've gotten hard-screwed this season in picking the Bears and picking against the Pack. I'm going with the brain over the heart.
Postgame: After that goat-rope, does anyone doubt that the problem with the Bears lies with the coaching staff?

Colts* (12-0) over Broncos (8-4)
I'd like to see a Denver win here, but you never pick against the Juggernaut, bitch.

Bills (4-8) over Chiefs* (3-9)
The Bills have been decent since they gave the Dick of Jauron his walking papers. Decent is all you need to beat the Chiefs.

Vikings* (10-2) over Bengals (9-3)
I could make a solid argument for Cincy in this one, but (at this point) the Vikes have more to play for.

Patriots* (7-5) over Panthers (5-7)
The Patriots don't lose in New England (or old England). They lose everywhere else.

Jets (6-6) over Buccaneers* (1-11)
Mark "Dirty" Sanchez is grounded for pulling an "invisible pool" dive in their last outing, but if things get hairy he'll be back in.

Dolphins (6-6) over Jaguars* (7-5)
I don't "get" either of these teams this season. Then again, all things Florida are somewhat of a mystery to me. Skunk ape, WTF?

Ravens* (6-6) over Lions (2-10)
Charm City has a decent shot at an AFC wild-card slot this year. Motor City has a good shot at its own foot.

Texans* (5-7) over Seahawks (5-7)
I don't wanna talk about it.

Late Sunday Games:
Titans* (5-7) over Rams (1-11)
Tennessee still has a (far) shot at the post-season this year. It ain't gonna happen, but they're gonna play for it.

Raiders* (4-8) over Redskins (3-9)
I've been saying since week 3 that the Raiders would be a decidedly better team without JaMarcus Russell. I've been saying for years that my Skins would be a better team without their owner, coaching staff, and a good chunk of their offense.
Postgame: Well, that just proved my point. The Raiders were looking good until JaMarcus came in and sucked it all up. If I were Al Davis (which, thankfuly, I'm not), I'd shoot that clown out of a cannon ASAP.

Cowboys* (8-4) over Chargers (9-3)
Okay, this is a sucker's bet. I'm not buying into a December Cowboys curse (despite all of the evidence), and still am holding out hope for Denver to win the AFC West (despite all of the evidence to the contrary).
Postgame: Okay, I'm buying it (as is DeMarcus Ware).

Sunday Night Game:
Giants* (7-5) over Eagles (8-4)
Who knows what'll happen in any NFC East divisional match-up? It's fucking nutty. I'm going with the home squadron.

Monday Night Game:
Cardinals (8-4) over 49ers* (5-7)
Dear Niners,
You've repeatedly let me down this season, and I have come to realize that I just can't count on you when it matters. I think we should see other people.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks

2009-12-03T15:04:00.006-06:00

It's week 13, and I'm back above .666% (2/3) in my picks.
13 and 666; what possibly could go wrong?

Last Week's Picks: 14/2
Season Record: 118/58

Thursday Night Game:
Jets (5-6) over Bills (4-7)*
The Bills have been on a tear since jettisoning Jauron. The Jets are stuck in a holding pattern and praying their fuel holds out for another week. All signs point toward a Bills win, but I think that New York has enough talent to slip by.

Early Sunday Games:
Eagles (7-4) over Falcons* (6-5)
Atlanta is burning. Just when they need to make a push, the core of the team is on the sideline with a plethora of injuries. The Eagles are circling the Georgia Dome looking for an easy meal.

Bears* (4-7) over Rams (1-10)
Our Dear and Benevolent Leader is an avowed Bears fan, so (with a bit of string-pulling) after the Rams we have the Miami Caliente, the Rockford Rampage Futbol LLC, the Stanford Marching Band, and the Detroit Lions. I say we end the season at 8 & 8.

Bengals* (8-3) over Lions (2-9)
One of these perpetual jokes of the NFL is going to the playoffs this year. It ain't Detroit.

Colts* (11-0) over Titans (5-6)
A bunch of ~~idiots~~ experts are picking the Titans to pull off an upset here. They're probably just rolling with it because last week their call of the Texans upending the Colts worked out so well for them.

Broncos (7-4) over Chiefs* (3-8)
I'm kicking myself for not going with my hunch and picking the Broncos last Thursday. Sorry, guys.

Patriots (7-4) over Dolphins* (5-6)
The Patriots have been struggling lately (against some very good teams). It's that time of the year when they lay down on the gas and plow into the postseason.

Steelers* (6-5) over Raiders (3-8)
I'm seriously tempted to pick Oakland up in this one. Really.

Saints (11-0) over Redskins* (3-8)
Hey, New Orleans: TRAP GAME!!! Watch out. The Skins have been playing sharp. If you look past this one it'll come back and bite you on the ass.
Postgame: Told you so.

Panthers* (4-7) over Buccaneers (1-10)
Word is, if Jake Delhomme keeps throwing multiple interceptions per game, that the Bears are going to sign him to a 5 year deal in the offseason.

Texans (5-6) over Jaguars* (6-5)
I didn't want to pick the Texans here. An older boy forced me to do it.
--that's the story I'm sticking to--
Postgame: If I had known that Grossman was going to go in, I would have never made this pick (regardless of coercion).

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (8-3) over Browns* (1-10)
Hey, Mangina: If you want to think about winning a game or two this season, this would be a great time to start.

Cowboys (8-3) over Giants* (6-5)
Dallas is hoping that it can kick the December slump that it always seem to fall into. It's bound to happen one year, right?

49ers (5-6) over Seahawks* (4-7)
My pick for NFC West champion still hasn't broke .500 yet. No, it wasn't Seattle.

Sunday Night Game:
Vikings (10-1) over Cardinals* (7-4)
If my aforementioned NFC West pick is gonna make it, they're gonna need some serious help. Thanx, Minnesota.

Monday Night Game:
Ravens (6-5) over Packers* (7-4)
Okay, The Pack win one trash game against the decimated Lions and now everyone has them penciled in as a NFC wild-card team. Really?!? Are you fucking serious?

The Liar's NFL Week 12 Picks

2009-11-25T23:19:00.011-06:00

Okay, I'm cranking out these picks on three solid hours of sleep - Let's see how that works.
Milo and I are holding down the fort while the Girl is back on the East coast. We plan on watching a bunch of football and getting some serious drinkin' done. Now that's a holiday weekend, people!

Last Week's Picks: 12/4
Season Record: 104/56

Early Thursday Game:
Packers (6-4) over Lions* (2-8)
That Lions win last week was insane. Good Stuff. Finally after 53 seasons we get an exciting Lions game, which brings me to my point: Why the fuck are we still torturing the holiday crowd with Lions games every Thanksgiving? It's like a big annual heaping helping of Tofurkey. Pass.

Late Thursday Game:
Cowboys* (7-3) over Raiders (3-7)
Speaking of which, what the fuck do cowboys have to do with Thanksgiving, anyhow? If any NFC East team should be playing here it should be the Redskins. I say every year they have the Patriots reenact the genocide of a nation up on the 'Skins. Now that's edutainment!

Thursday Night Game:
Giants (6-4) over Broncos* (6-4)
The Giants ended their losing skid last week, here's hoping that the Broncos can do the same here. I've learned that in close-matched games it's easier to pick against the team I like, so when they (inevitably) lose I still have something. Sad, huh?

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (5-5) over Buccaneers (1-9)
Atlanta has only won one game (against the Skins) since beating the Bears back in week 6 - Choke on that, you bastards.

Dolphins (5-5) over Bills* (3-7)
The quote of the week came from Jason Smith on Jim Rome is Burning: "The Buffalo Bills remind me of the freshman high-school nerd who thinks that just because the homecoming queen isn't dating anyone she'd go to the prom with him if he asked. Ralph Wilson, please put away your pocket protector, your bug collection, and your most powerful World of Warcraft character. Bill Cowher and Mike Shanahan are not coming to Buffalo."
Brilliant.

Bengals* (7-3) over Browns (1-9)
Last week the Bengals couldn't get it done against the Raiders. Then again, last week the Browns couldn't get it done against the Lions.

Seahawks (3-7) over Rams* (1-9)
I sorta want to pick the Rams here. There's no good reason to though, so I'm refraining.

Jets* (4-6) over Panthers (4-6)
I'm struggling to find anything to say about this game, so let's see what happens when I type "panther jet" in a Google search: The Grumman F9F Panther was the most widely used U.S. Navy jet fighter of the Korean War. Now you know.

Eagles* (6-4) over Redskins (3-7)
Washington is looking sharp lately - They upended the Broncos in week 10 and almost shut-out the Cowboys last week. This shit has got to stop.

Colts (10-0) over Texans* (5-5)
Once again, a bunch of people are picking the Texans here. It's probably because the Texans have a better record, Payton Manning, and have won the division 5 of the last 6 seasons. Um, wait... That's the Colts, sorry. The Texans are the ones with Rex Grossman.

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers* (7-3) over Chiefs (3-7)
The Chiefs win over Pittsburgh last week surely put San Diego on notice. They're gonna play 'em tough.

49ers* (4-6) over Jaguars (6-4)
Why, oh Lord, do I keep picking the Niners? I can't help myself.

Titans* (4-6) over Cardinals (7-3)
Speed of lightning! Roar of thunder!
Flaming all who blitz or blunder!
Wondertard! (hoo-rah-ah-ah-ah)
Wondertard! Wondertard!!

Vikings* (9-1) over Bears (4-6)
This is exactly the kind of game the Bears tend to win just to get everyone's hopes up so then they can dash them back into the ground the following week. Have some decency, and lose with just an iota of dignity here, Chicago.

Sunday Night Game:
Ravens* (5-5) over Steelers (6-4)
Man, the Steelers got creamed last week against the Chiefs (I never ever thought I'd write that sentence). They're hurting going into this one. Charm City is poised to kick 'em while they're down.

Monday Night Game:
Saints* (10-0) over Patriots (7-3)
I'm really tempted to pick the Patriots here, but am giving the benefit of the doubt to the undefeated at home. Don't fuck me on this one, New Orleans.

The Harshest Move

2009-11-24T11:06:00.000-06:00

So, against my better judgment, I joined a fantasy football league again this year. It's the free Yahoo one. I was proud of my team name (the Gould Standard) and I landed Jay Cutler, Johnny Knox, Greg Olsen, and Robbie Gould from the Bears. (Yes, I am getting killed at 4 and 7 on the season.)

My other QB, selected randomly by the league software, is Brett Favre. Interestingly, Favre only has a slight edge on the season, numbers-wise. Sadly, I am more sure he'll throw touchdowns this weekend than Cutler will. So, I'm benching my fantasy QB in favor of the enemy.

You can be sure this will be the game where Jay Cutler breaks some kind of single-game passing record in the NFL.

Dear Liar

2009-11-23T03:54:00.002-06:00

I am sorry to have abandoned you in the middle of the season... but my article about you and I being the godsend of the gamepick world proved to be our downfall in this crazy NFL season. It proved that Murphy's Law is the norm this season and that everyone involved in picks and fantasy should get out and shoot themselves in the nuts right now. I am not worthy... I should have reserved myself to some po-dunk fantasy league rather than bothering you all with my bullshit... but I offer the following.

A 40 year old QB will probably be taking an NFC North Team to the superbowl.

Angelo... and especially Ron Turner should be presented to the Chicago populous and strung up by the balls for the atrocity that is the Bears '09 season. Lovie knows what he is doing but is hamstrung by the douchebags up in the booth. He has to take what the dipshit Turner has to offer... Get some new blood in the office!!!!

The Jets will suck again....

The Texans will never cease to piss the Liar and myself off... I pick the Titans to win on Monday!!!

Dallas will eternally be known as the "on again, off again team...." as long as Romo the homo is at the healm.

The Raiders are alive again... fuck Jackson.

The Saints and the Colts will not remain undefeated for long.... The Saints face NE next monday night... watch out...

Those are my little niblets for the week.... all I can say to the Liar is...

Keep on Truckin'

Shadrow

The Liar's NFL Week 11 Picks

2009-11-19T14:05:00.007-06:00

Okay, it's official - I don't know a fucking thing about football. Each week I seem to be doing worse than the last. Nate seems like a certifiable genius right now for stopping his picks a few weeks back before the entire league went ass-over-tits. Well, at least I still have a solid winning record so far this season - The Bears (unfortunately) can't say the same.

Last Week's Picks: 6/9
Season Record: 92/52

Thursday Night Game:
Dolphins (4-5) over Panthers* (4-5)
This could easily be the shortest game of the season. Neither of these teams has a passing game, both rely heavily on the run, and both have stout defenses. This bitch could go 14 minutes into overtime, and still be over in less time than the Falcons @ Giants (later this week).

Early Sunday Games:
Cowboys* (6-3) over Redskins (3-6)
I still can't believe that the Redskins beat the Broncos last week, or that the Cowboys lost to the Packers. Everything goes back to normal with this one.

Lions* (1-8) over Browns (1-8)
Who wants to bet that this turd-fest ends in a tie?

49ers (4-5) over Packers* (5-4)
I'm still hoping against hope that the Packers truly suck. The Niners got a real ugly win last week, let's see if they can slap some lipstick on that pig up in Lambeau.

Steelers (6-3) over Chiefs* (2-7)
STEELERS MAD! STEELERS SMASH!

Vikings* (8-1) over Seahawks (3-6)
I love the Vikings this year. No, not like that. I still haven't gotten a Vikes pick wrong yet this season. I still hope that they all choke to death on dicks, but they're keeping me in the game here.

Giants* (5-4) over Falcons (5-4)
Both of these teams were great last season - Both are middling so far this year. It's hard to get a good read on either of these teams this season (let alone in this game).

Saints (9-0) over Buccaneers* (1-8)
Last week I warned that "every single season there is one game where a great team looses a 'gimme' game to a terrible team". The Saints struggled early against the Rams last week. They already learned that lesson - this week should be a cake-walk.

Jaguars* (5-4) over Bills (3-6)
The Williams shit-canned Jauron on Tuesday... I wonder if he'd like his old job back with Chicago?
Yeesh, even terrible ideas are starting to sound good right about now.

Colts (9-0) over Ravens* (5-4)
I'm tempted to pick Baltimore in the upset here. The Clots are coming off their biggest game of the season, and could easily get blindsided by a mediocre team in their victory haze.

Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals (6-3) over Rams* (1-8)
I have a feeling about this one. I have a feeling that (despite the odds) this is going to be a close game that goes down to the end with the Cards pulling off a win at the last minute.

Chargers (6-3) over Broncos* (6-3)
I originally had the Broncos winning this one. Then I realized that was stupid. I'm picking San Diego and pulling for Denver.

Bengals (7-2) over Raiders* (2-7)
The Bengals have never won a game in Oakland. Things change.

Patriots* (6-3) over Jets (4-5)
After last week's crushing collapse, I say the Hoodie refuses to punt on a single 4th down out of pure spite. Belichick isn't gonna let off the gas for one moment of this one - He just has to be careful to avoid plowing headlong into a wall.

Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (5-4) over Bears* (4-5)
You BASTARDS! Why the fuck did you have keep this as the flex game? Is this some kind of sick joke? Y'all know that Chargers and Broncos have game this week for sole possession of the AFC West, right? You're still gonna televise the Bears running around in circles around with their pants around their ankles for the world to see, huh? Well, FUCK YOU!

Monday Night Game:
Texans* (5-4) over Titans (3-6)
Thank Christ that the Texans are back! Usually I just get the Texans pick wrong (with a couple of others). Last week (with Houston on the bye) I kept picking losers - This week my balance is back.

Can We Get Him Back?

2009-11-18T14:15:00.000-06:00

I hope this doesn't hex him, but Mike Brown has started all nine games for the Chiefs this year, and this week, he's the AFC Defensive Player of the Week.

Is it just me, or do we have a totally different outlook on this season if we have a healthy Mike Brown roaming the secondary?

The Liar's NFL Week 10 Picks

2009-11-12T10:54:00.007-06:00

Un dunnah whaa wen ong weth te hueehhun. Hi yus ghunt iggue haut uht heen uroungh....
Hold on, lemme take the gun outta my mouth here for a second.
That's better.
...um.
Probably should say something here... something positive...
...uh.
I'm positive that the Bears fucking suck it.
Okay, that's over. Now where was I?
Oh, right...
Ank ooo, ohw hai ahb ohher ingth oo hoo.

Last Week's Picks: 7/6
Season Record: 86/43

Thursday Night Game:
Bears (4-4) over 49ers* (3-5)
I'm not holding out any hope of the Bears being a good team with this pick, but rather jumping off of the San Francisco bandwagon (I hopped on that thing and that motherfucker shot straight off to the Castro). I'm still sore.
Postgame: That's it. I've never said this before, but Lovie's gotta go. Angelo is still the cancer in this organization, but Smith inherited the team that made it to the Super Bowl and has let it slip (hard) since then. He's a nice guy, but a total failure as a head coach. Chicago should try and get Bill Cowher before he's off of the boards. We need a coach, not some mealy-mouthed apologist.

Early Sunday Games:
Titans* (2-6) over Bills (3-5)
Despite the odds, das Wondertard is carrying the Titans on his shoulders. I bet they keep promising him trips to the zoo if he wins. That's motivation!

Saints* (8-0) over Rams (1-7)
Every single season there is one game where a great team looses a "gimme" game to a terrible team. This isn't that game.

Dolphins* (3-5) over Buccaneers (1-7)
O Florida!
Our home and phallic land!
True drunken love in all thy loins command.
With glowing meth pipes we shall rise,
The deep South smells like pee!
Gang wars and tides, O Florida,
We sail on rafts for thee.
God keep this land dirt-poor as it should be!
O Florida - We sail on rafts for thee.
O Florida - We sail on rafts for thee.

Vikings* (7-1) over Lions (1-7)
If Favre gets knocked out, the Vikings' back-up QB is really, really bad. I'm just saying is all...

Jets* (4-4) over Jaguars (4-4)
So how's that Giants -vs- Jets Super Bowl thing coming along there, NYC?

Steelers* (6-2) over Bengals (6-2)
This should be a damn fine game. The Chicago market has this one on CBS - It might be nice to watch a real game on Sunday for a change.

Broncos (6-2) over Redskins* (2-6)
I gave up up on the Redskins after week 3, I'm about to call the Bears' season dead, so all I have left at this point is (my new adoptive team) the Broncos... Who have just dumped two games straight. *sigh*
Postgame: Are you fucking kidding me?

Falcons (5-3) over Panthers* (3-5)
This match-up reeks of a trap game. Watch out for the upset in this one.
Postgame: Told you so - I should have listened to me.

Late Sunday Games:
Raiders* (2-6) over Chiefs (1-7)
I'd rather watch two bag-ladies fight over a discarded sack of tater-tots. Then again, who wouldn't?

Eagles (5-3) over Chargers* (5-3)
I think that my hatred of the Chargers is coloring my outlook in this one. The Eagles tend to lose in pairs, have a terrible record on the West coast, and are playing on a short week. I just can't bring myself to pick San Diego.

Cardinals* (5-3) over Seahawks (3-5)
Hey, it's the bi-polar Cardinals! Are they gonna be awesome this week or a terrible joke? Nobody knows.

Cowboys (6-2) over Packers* (4-4)
Okay, I understand why everyone in the national news media is trashing the Bears, what I can't figure is why no one is taking about the Packers loss to Tampa last week except in the terms of "The Buccaneers Finally Win One" type stories. Green Bay is fucking DONE - Season over. Yet still, a load of prognosticators are picking the Pack to win here. I just don't get it.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (6-2) over Colts* (8-0)
My (incredibly shortsighted) reason for picking the Pats here is because I figure that Indy is going to lose sometime this season, and this looks like the most likely team to beat them. That being said, the Colts tend to win the marquee games and lose in a match where they're heavily favored. Then again, the same can be said for New England.

Monday Night Game:
Ravens (4-4) over Browns* (1-7)
Right about now, 1996 to 1999 is starting to look like the halcyon era of the Browns franchise.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Boxer Briefs

2009-11-08T23:01:00.002-06:00

Sorry to Josh for jinxing the both of us with my fucking article that essentially rubbed both of our nuts the wrong way... thus why I didn't post any picks this week... (in addition to not having any time to myself this week whatsoever!) Hopefully I can remove any jinx with my looked forward to absence.

Shadrow

The Liar's NFL Week 9 Picks

2009-11-06T14:41:00.009-06:00

Thanks Nate! I'm still busy scooping poop outta my Hanes ComfortSoft^® boxer-briefs one week after your post on how great I was doing with my picks so far this season. Without any further Shadrow jinxin', I'm ready to redeem myself... I hope.

Last Week's Picks: 8/5
Season Record: 79/37

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (4-3) over Redskins (2-5)
The Falcons almost beat the undefeated Saints last week - Impressive. The Redskins almost beat the winless Chiefs back in week 6 - Not so impressive.

Bears* (4-3) over Cardinals (4-3)
These two teams are peas in a pod. They swing between 'great' and 'pathetic' from week to week. The next 3 Bears games should determine whether they have a legitimate shot at the playoffs. Win 2 of 3, and the outlook's good - Lose more than one, and start rebuilding. I'm giving the Bears the benefit of the doubt here, since they still haven't lost at home this season.
Postgame: Ready... Aim... FIRE!

Ravens (4-3) over Bengals* (5-2)
In the first match-up between these two teams in Week 5, Benson clowned the Ravens defense. Nobody holds a grudge like Baltimore - Bet on the birds, hun.

Colts* (7-0) over Texans (5-3)
If the Texans played the Colts every week, then maybe I'd have better luck in picking their games. Thanks for the break, Indy.

Patriots* (5-2) over Dolphins (3-4)
The wildcat Fish (wild catfish?) have a lot of tricks up their sleeves. Belichick has nothing up his sleeves (because he cut them off). I still like the Pats here.

Packers (4-3) over Buccaneers* (0-7)
Hey, hold up! The Pack get the Suckaneers this season, and the Bears don't? What. The. Fuck?!? I'm calling shenanigans!
Postgame: The Vikings just made the playoffs during their bye week. Congratulations.

Jaguars* (3-4) over Chiefs (1-6)
Damn, I can't think of anything vaguely interesting about this game. The Chiefs fans' open hostility toward (KC running back) Larry Johnson is sorta intriguing, but he's out this week, so... nope... nothing.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (2-5) over Lions (1-6)
Wow, I thought the previous game was boring. I stand corrected. This one takes the generic ricecake.

Saints* (7-0) over Panthers (3-4)
I'd like to give up some props to Carolina for killing the Cardinals last week - Good stuff. Sorry to say, but your one-game winning streak ends here.

Giants* (5-3) over Chargers (4-3)
Grumpy McCoachalot told his Giants that this is a "do or die" game. That's a crazy-risky statement to make halfway through the season, but I say it pays off for 'em in this one.

49ers* (3-4) over Titans (1-6)
OMG! Did y'all see that barnburner between the Colts and Niners last week. These guys are stupid-good. That being said, I hope that the Titans hospitalize most of Samurai Mike's boys before their trip to Chicago next Thursday.

Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys (5-2) over Eagles* (5-2)
They go to the Link at night -They go where Iggles dare
They pick up every movement - They pick off every loser
McNabb's trapped in the pocket - Here comes DeMarcus Ware
-chorus-
Romo's no goddamn son of a bitch - You better think about it Philly
Romo's no goddamn son of a bitch - You better think about it Philly
Postgame: If anyone watched this game, you know that the above Misfits parody was fucking spot-on. Finally, something good this week.

Monday Night Game:
Broncos* (6-1) over Steelers (5-2)
Ouch! That decisive loss to the Ravens last week had to hurt. I say that Denver learns their lesson and pulls off a win for the home crowd.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 8 Picks

2009-10-30T13:22:00.008-05:00

I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears...
FUCK THE BEARS!!!
Dammit.

Last Week's Picks: 9/4
Season Record: 71/32

Early Sunday Games:
Dolphins (2-4) over Jets* (4-3)
I haven't gotten my first pick right since week two. This AFC East match isn't helping to break that streak. I like the Fish here for some ungodly reason.

Giants (5-2) over Eagles* (4-2)
Man, This'll be a good one. I'd like to pick the Beagles here, but can't see the Giants dropping three straight games.

Broncos (6-0) over Ravens* (3-3)
The last few years I've HATED the Broncos (since they dumped Plummer for Cutler), but this year with Orton at QB, they're definitely back up in my top 3 favorite teams. This is gonna be a barn-burner - The Ravens three losses have come against the Patriots, Bengals, and Vikings in very close games. Go Denver!

Texans (4-3) over Bills* (3-4)
Why, oh why, am I forced to pick Texans games? It just isn't fair. I'm rocking a craptacular 1&6 record in picking Texans games this year - I blame Grossman.

Bears* (3-3) over Browns (1-6)
You rotten cocksuckers best win this one.

Cowboys* (4-2) over Seahawks (2-4)
Just when I think that the Cowboys are awful, they're good - Just when I think that the Seahawks are good, they're awful. Watch everything go all 'Freaky Friday' up in this motherfucker.

Lions* (1-5) over Rams (0-7)
The real bet here is whether Matt Stafford is gonna be able to play for Detroit. I'm taking 'em at their word and picking the Lions.

Colts* (6-0) over 49ers (3-3)
My declaration of the Niners winning the NFC West isn't looking so great right now. They're the best team in that division, but the stupid Cardinals keep refusing to lose.

Late Sunday Games:
Jaguars (3-3) over Titans* (0-6)
Tennessee has reanimated Frankentard in a last-ditch effort to get a win. The villagers grab pitchforks and light torches in eager anticipation.

Chargers* (3-3) over Raiders (2-5)
While the cops were investigating Cable's coaching beat-down, I'm amazed that they didn't collar JaMarcus Russell for murder. That turd has killed any chance the Raiders had at a winning season. With a QB swap between these two teams I'd bet on Oakland in 19 out of 20 matches.

Cardinals* (4-2) over Panthers (2-4)
I'm getting screwed in betting against the Cardinals. I'm working on the theory that if I start picking them, then they'll lose consistently - Everyone wins.

Vikings (6-1) over Packers* (4-2)
Wow! Everyone seems to think that Green Bay is going to win this one. I just don't see it. As far as I can tell, the Pack is outmatched entirely. The best thing that the Packers have going for 'em in this game are these T-Shirts.

-- No Sunday night game due to World Series --

Monday Night Game:
Saints* (6-0) over Falcons (4-2)
I understand that the Saints are probably going to lose sometime this season, but all y'all that are picking them to take a dump at home to a divisional opponent this week is ignant.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Shadrow's Week 8 Post

2009-10-29T03:42:00.005-05:00

Having fallen on my sword last week, I will try to follow up with some picks that make sense in this insane NFL season. Let's just say that I still hold true to my little Pickers rant and that the big boys don't hold shit to Josh and I. I would have to be the least of the equation right now considering that almost everybody who was a shoe-in last week completely and utterly shit themselves in the most publicly fashion possible. So from now on my emotions nor my affinity for my beloved Bears shall get in the way of things.

Early Sunday Games:
Broncos over Ravens
Texans over Buffalo
Bears over Browns
Cowboys over Seahawks
Jets over Dolphins
Colts over 49ers
Eagles over Giants
Lions over Rams

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers over Raiders
Jaguars over Titans
Vikings over Packers
Cardinals over Panthers

Monday Night:
Saints over Falcons

The NFL Pickers?

2009-10-24T20:04:00.015-05:00

Plain and simple... the supposed pros of picking who will win from week to week have nothing on us average Joes who passionately follow the NFL from week to week.

The pros have access to countless statistics, instant insider information regarding injuries/ internal drama/ game mechanics and probably dedicate much more time in a week than either me or the Liar would care to give. (Considering that they are paid to do it.)

They talk to the average dregs of society as if they are gods of their domain, with all the infinite professional knowledge of their all too brief careers. They bore us to death with their endless rants about whether or not this player or that owner has the passion to take their team the distance, and whether or not TO or Crabtree or Romo or whoever in the fuck it is that week will give a damn and actually make an effort for the millions they make a year. I will make it plain and simple this week... you all can judge how you want...

Lets take a look at the breakdown of the main analysts (Current 2009 season)
ESPN
Allen (55-35), Golic (58-31), Hoge(62-28), Jaws(59-25), Mortenson(64-26), Schefter (63-27), Schlereth(62-28), Wickersham (59-31)

CBS Sports (now this is a joke)
Harmon(47-43) Prisco(41-49) Judge(51-39) Urbaro(43-47) Madden(39-51) Richard(51-39)

The Computer Predictors
Accuscore(62-28) Pick 'Em(63-27)

Where is the Liar at... (62-28)??

I won't even go into my record considering that I am a quasi-poser who couldn't even afford the time to get into a fantasy league... much less get into picking the full NFL season with a friend of 20 years because of a crazy personal schedule.

I know the Liar, and I know that he has a shitload of time on his hands at times, but for fuck sakes... There are 16 different accredited NFL predictors here. The Liar is being beaten by two (Mortenson and Schefter from ESPN by only a game or two), he's tied with 3, and beating the rest. His current record lies at...

11W-2L-3Ties

I couldn't find the ESPN 2008 stats(Hmmm I wonder why.) but the CBS 2008 stats were sad.

Let's just say that the liar Won out at...

6W-0L

Just to briefly say that any douchebag can bring you the general picks from week to week. And only a douchebag of these sorts (i.e. the Liar.) Can keep you genuinely entertained from week to week. Bring on the vinegar and water... (Liar douchebag is honored by his label...)

Now predicting the spread and all those other gambling things is something i will leave to the habitual losers... and to Vegas...

Shadrow

The Liar's NFL Week 7 Picks

2009-10-23T13:23:00.006-05:00

The Mad Road Warriors Beyond Thunderdome: That's my theme for this week. I'm only picking two (2) teams to win at home in week 7.
I'm fucking doomed.

Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 62/28

Early Sunday Games:
49ers (3-2) over Texans* (3-3)
I want to pick the Texicans here, but in my ~~extensive research~~ watching of NFL Network I discovered an interesting pattern: The Texans have gone loss, win, loss, win, loss, win... so far this season, so I'm extrapolating data from the formula and picking the Niners (and hoping for a career ending injury on Douchie McCrabtree). It's SCIENCE, people!

Packers (3-2) over Browns* (1-5)
Insert anal sex joke here.

Chargers (2-3) over Chiefs* (1-5)
I would love to see (and wouldn't be surprised by) a Chiefs upset here. Kansas City is pretty bad, but the Chargers rarely pass up an opportunity to disappoint.

Colts (5-0) over Rams* (0-6)
Breaking News: In return for Rush Limbaugh getting kicked from the ownership bid for the Rams, the White House just passed an emergency executive order that is going to give the Rams 1/3 of all points scored by the Colts in this game (in addition to their paltry earnings). Indy should still get by just fine despite this "redistribution" of wealth.

Steelers* (4-2) over Vikings (6-0)
I hate it when Nate picks first. Then I'm forced to find games to shift so that we're not picking the same across the board. I wanted to pick the Steelers here, Shadrow just gave me a push.

Patriots (4-2) over Buccaneers* (0-6)
Finally! This contest should prove to serve as colonial retribution the long running scourge of Barbary pirate aggression.

Late Sunday Games:
Jets (3-3) over Raiders* (2-4)
Remember back to ye olden day of September 28th, 2009? Chicago was a shoo-in for the 2016 Olympics, Polanski had just been arrested in Switzerland, Obama was facing strong opposition on health-care reform, and the New York Jets were a sure-bet for Super Bowl XLIV. Ah, the good old days.

Bills (2-4) over Panthers* (2-3)
I originally had the Panthers winning this one, then decided to show the Williams some love following their trouncing of the aforementioned Jets last week.

Bears (3-2) over Bengals* (4-2)
Cedric Benson has stated that he wants "revenge" on the Bears for cutting him. Well, the Bears want revenge on him for being Cedric Benson. It's gonna get ugly.

Falcons (4-1) over Cowboys* (3-2)
I want to pick the Cowboys here, but have gotten flamed in betting against Atlanta over the last couple of weeks. Twice bitten - Thrice shy.

Saints (5-0) over Dolphins* (2-3)
Hey, New Orleans: TRAP GAME! The Fish are way better than they look on paper, and their strengths play to the Saints' weaknesses. Still, I think that the Saints are good enough to overcome by the end.

Sunday Night Game:
Giants* (5-1) over Cardinals (3-2)
Hey, motherfuckers! You're the Arizona Cardinals - Start losing. Yeesh, some people just don't know their place.

Monday Night Game:
Eagles (3-2) over Redskins* (2-4)
My Skins finally face a team with a win this season. Run away!
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Shadrow's week 7 picks...

2009-10-22T16:33:00.005-05:00

Ugh... The Liar took me to the cleaners last week... hopefully I can make a comeback this week...
Most of the undefeated teams have a cakewalk this week except for the Vikings who have to visit the Steelers this week... The Rams, Cheifs, and Buccaneers have some fun games facing Indy, Chargers and Patriots respectively. (I will fall upon my own sword now.)

Here are the picks.
Early Sunday:
Colts over Rams
49ers over Texans
Chargers over Chiefs
Packers over Browns
Vikings over Steelers
Patriots over Buccaneers

Late Sunday:
Panthers over Bills
Raiders over Jets
Falcons over Cowboys
Bears over Bengals (how could my bears shit the bed so bad!)
Saints over Dolphins

Sunday Night:
Giants over Cardinals

Monday Night:
Eagles over Redskins

Byes= Ravens, Broncos, Lions, Jaguars, Seahawks, Titans

Shadrow's Week 6 picks

2009-10-17T01:02:00.010-05:00

Yeah... Riot Fest happenned and I could give a shit what went down that week... but the Liar and I are tied neck and neck since this little thing started... If you count my predictions starting week 3. Yeah... drinking was good that week but somehow I managed to sneak up on him.

We are at the point in the season where the sissys become the true sissys and the true studs of the league come to show their true colors. (And Nate gets a beatdown like none before!) There are more undefeated and completely smacked around teams in the league than there have been since the mid 70's. We are seeing an NFL with teams that can barely field a competative team VS. the elite of the league. We are seeing several teams that are undefeated (Giants, Saints, Colts, Vikings)

Esentially, I mean that the Raiders, Buccanners , Rams, Browns, Chiefs, Titans, Lions, Redskins, and Bills cannot compete with the rest of the league whatsoever. (OK, so 3 of these teams ended up kicking some ass...) So you esentially have 1/4 of the league that is in eternal decline... predictable defeats for the rest of the season with the exception of the occasional home win for the declining team. Thus the upper 1/4 of the league remains without many defeats and the entries into the playoffs remain predictable.... so now we are off with the week 6 predictions... edits will come to make things pretty... (and Nate jams his size 13 foot into his mouth and squeals in anguish...)

Sunday Early Games:
Jaguars over Rams
Saints over Giants
Vikings over Ravens
Packers over Lions
Bengals over Texans (Count on the Texans to fuck you on a pick!)
Steelers over Browns
Redskins over Chiefs (Fuck me... I flipped a coin on this one...)
Panthers over Buccanneers

Sunday Late Games:
Seahawks over Cardinals (UGH!!! unpredictable, the both of them...)
Eagles over Oakland (Oakland are you fucking kidding me!)
Jets over Bills (Sanchez really screwed the pooch on this one... great time for the rookie jitters.)
Patriots over Titans

Sunday PM:
Bears over Falcons (Fuck the bears!!!)

Monday PM:
Denver over Chargers (OK... lucked out on this one...)

(Holy shit did I fall to the wayside this week... Nate has officially shit the bed!!!)

Green = Good
Red = Bad

The Liar's NFL Week 6 Picks

2009-10-15T19:13:00.009-05:00

Wow, last week was ugly. Every Riot Fest weekend my picks shit the proverbial bed, but I never see it coming. Probably because I'm always legless-drunk, sleep deprived, and half-deaf from all of the fun. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Onto week six...

Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 53/23

Early Sunday Games:
Bengals* (4-1) over Texans (2-3)
Hey, I finally picked a Texans game correctly last week! Turns out, the trick was just picking them to lose. The Bengals should win this one (at the very last second, once again).

Packers* (2-2) over Lions (1-4)
Welcome to the bottom half of the NFC North, Fellas. Man, that feels good to say.

Vikings* (5-0) over Ravens (3-2)
I'd really like to see the Ravens pull off a road win here, but Baltimore couldn't corral Cedric Benson last week. Adrian Peterson is gonna have a motherfucking field day

Saints* (4-0) over Giants (5-0)
This is the marque game of week six. Duh. It could easily go either way, but I'm sticking with the home team.

Steelers* (3-2) over Browns (1-4)
I think that Pittsburgh had more of a challenge last week against the Lions. I'm just interested to see whether Derek Anderson completes a pass before Brady Quinn defects to the Steelers sideline.

Panthers (1-3) over Buccaneers* (0-5)
Settle down, Carolina. You just barely pulled off a win against the Skins last week (not a crowning achievement). This week you've gout to buckle down and get your heads straight for this game against Tamp... Uh... Nevermind.

Chiefs (0-5) over Redskins* (2-3)
The Redskins still have not played a team with a win yet this season. Aside from the first game (against the Giants) the combined record of their following 5 opponents has been 2&22. The two wins? Both the Lions and Panthers beat the Skins, and the only two teams that DC has beaten are the Rams and Buccaneers. FUCKING PATHETIC!

Jaguars (2-3) over Rams* (0-5)
The Jags ain't great, but the Rams are baaaaaa...d.
Sorry.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (2-3) over Cardinals (2-2)
The Shawks fucking decimated the Jaguars last week. It was brutal. Speaking of which, Owen Schmitt's berserker act worked so well last week that this week he's gonna dive into a woodchipper at halftime. Tune in.

Eagles (3-1) over Raiders* (1-4)
Does Tom O still consider himself a Raiders fan? We should all pony up and send that poor son of a bitch a cookie bouquet.

Patriots* (3-2) over Titans (0-5)
Yeah, The Titans really need a win and are dead in the water if they can't pull off a miracle in Foxborough. Too bad for them, it looks like Brady is just starting to get re-settled in his role.

Jets* (3-2) over Bills (1-4)
Goddamned Jets! I can't believe you lost to the fucking Fish last week. If you weren't playing the Williams this week, I'd so bet against you for that mess.

Sunday Night Game:
Bears (3-1) over Falcons* (3-1)
No whammies, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies!
This one's a leap of faith. I really want to believe that the Bears are for real this year, but am still gun-shy from the Grossie era. I think that Chicago can pull this off, but then again, I thought that the 49ers could do the same last week.

Monday Night Game:
Broncos (5-0) over Chargers* (2-2)
Everybody and their retarded third-cousin are picking the Bolts to upset (so much so, that the open betting line has Denver at -4). San Diego really needs this win, but I just don't see Denver rolling over for their most reviled divisional opponent. If someone is offering you Denver plus 3.5 points, make that bet.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

The Liar's NFL Week 5 Picks

2009-10-09T14:44:00.005-05:00

The Chicago market early games for this week are Vikings at Rams & Steelers at Lions. Ugh.
Now would be a great opportunity to clue you all into my new favorite channel: NFL Red Zone Live (channel 411 on Comcast -expanded- Chicago). It's only on Sunday afternoons and flips between all of the live games going on at that time. You get to see most red-zone possessions and key plays from across the league, plus it's commercial-free. I'm really digging it - If you have it in your cable/satellite package, this Sunday would be a great time to give it a shot.

Last Week's Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 35/13

Early Sunday Games:
Bills* (1-3) over Browns (0-4)
If it weren't for a last second field goal the Browns could have walked away from last week with a tie. Even a tie would be a step in the right direction for those clowns.

Steelers (2-2) over Lions* (1-3)
Um... Yeah... Moving on.

Cowboys (2-2) over Chiefs* (0-4)
Hey, all you Dallas wags who insist that the Cowboys suck. Take a good long look at the Chiefs this week, then reconsider your parameters of "suck".

Vikings (4-0) over Rams* (0-4)
Oh boy, I would LOVE to see an upset here.

Giants* (4-0) over Raiders (1-3)
I was briefly smitten with the Raiders early this season after watching their high-octane opener against the Chargers. That period of infatuation has now officially expired.

Eagles* (2-1) over Buccaneers (0-4)
McNabb's McRibs are McBetter. Not that it really matters, Philly could win this one with any of their active QBs behind center.

Panthers* (0-3) over Redskins (2-2)
Why am I picking a winless team to pull out an upset over my beloved Skins? Because my beloved Skins are a fucking train-wreck right now.

Ravens* (3-1) over Bengals (3-1)
This one's for some of the marbles. Yeah, that doesn't have such a great ring to it, huh?

Late Sunday Games:
49ers* (3-1) over Falcons (2-1)
I'm drinkin' the Niners' Kool-Aid - I might need to spike it with a healthy dose of booze if they can't pull off this statement-win.

Jaguars (2-2) over Seahawks* (1-3)
I was tempted to pick the Shawks here, but then flashed back to those day-glo jerseys and slipped into an epileptic fit. I can't reward that.

Cardinals* (1-2) over Texans (2-2)
The Texicans remain the only team that I still haven't picked correctly this season - I see no reason to kill the streak here.

Patriots (3-1) over Broncos* (4-0)
A Denver win here would be fucking sweet, I'm just not betting on it. Interesting note: The Patriots have not played a team yet this season with a loss. So far their games have been against teams with the following records: 0-0,1-0,2-0, 3-0, and now 4-0.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts (4-0) over Titans* (0-4)
A bunch of people are picking the Titans to pull off a huge upset here. A bunch of people are total fucking retards.

Monday Night Game:
Jets (3-1) over Dolphins* (1-3)
AFC East inter-divisional games are notoriously hard to predict. In situations such as these, I just bet against the Fish.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Shadrow's Week 5 Picks

2009-10-09T01:10:00.008-05:00

These will be abbreviated even further this week... I will be out with the Liar @ Riot Fest all weekend. So the shit talking will commence even further.... Not to mention that we won't really give a shit what happens this weekend in the NFL 'til sometime next Wednesday.

Early Games:

Ravens*(3-1) over Bengals(3-1)

Buffalo*(1-3) over Browns(1-3)

Carolina*(0-4) over Redskins(1-3)

Steelers(2-2) over Lions*(1-3)

Cowboys(2-2) over Chiefs*(0-4)

Giants*(4-0) over Raiders(1-3)

Eagles*(3-1) over Buccaneers(0-4)

Vikings(4-0) over Rams*(0-4)

Late Games:

49ers*(3-1) over Falcons (3-1)

Texans(1-3) over Cardinals*(1-3)

Broncos*(4-0) over Patriots(3-1)

Seahawks*(1-3) over Jaguars(2-2)

Sunday PM:

Colts(4-0) over Titans(0-4)*

Monday PM:

Jets(3-1) over Dolpins(1-3)*

*=home team
Green=right pick
Red=wrong pick

Ahhhh midweek NFL... drek...

2009-10-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

Let us see where I am with the Liar.... Since I have been posting here, he is one ahead of me... unless he wants to take on the dare,,,,

Shadrow

Shadrow's Week 4 picks

2009-10-03T02:38:00.009-05:00

I went out on a limb last week with a bunch of picks and paid for it... 11-5 for the week... It is really late right now and I will make my picks really short and to the point. When in doubt I have gone with the home team. I will leave the silly banter to the liar this week.

Early Sunday Games:
Bears(2-1)* over Lions(1-2)
Love my Bears as always... fuck the lions...

Bengals(2-1) over Browns(0-3)*
Bengals are lookin' good... Mangini has no clue...

Texans(1-2)* over Raiders(1-2)
Texans are a mystery this year but I cannot pick the suckraiders.

Colts(3-0)* over Seahawks(1-2)
Seahawks will get eaten alive.... and pay for their dayglo last week...

Jaguars(1-2)* over Titans(0-3)
I think the Titans will not be able to overcome away from home. Having the most dissappointing start of the '09 season.

Giants(3-0) over Chiefs(0-3)*
Giants=good Chiefs=realllllly bad right now....

Ravens(3-0) over Patriots(2-1)*
Ravens have everything going for them aside from being 0-4 against the Pats... eek... hope I don't choke on this one.

Redskins(1-2)* over Buccaneers(0-3)
Suck vs. suck. I pick less suck.

Late Sunday Games:
Buffalo(1-2) over Dolphins(0-3)*
Miami has figured out every way to lose this year

Saints(3-0)* over Jets(3-0)
Hard one to pick but I give this one to the home team and to the QB with the most insane stats ever.

Cowboys(2-1) over Broncos(3-0)*
Yeah Kyle has got an O-Line but hasn't faced a real team yet this year... if non-homo Romo shows up then this one will go my way.

49ers(2-1)* over Rams(0-3)
Singletary will make sure his boys eat the Rams for Lunch, breakfast and dinner after the fluke loss that they had last week. Not to mention that the Rams now have the longest losing streak going so far...

Sunday Night
Steelers(1-2)* over Chargers(2-1)
Hard to pick... if the Steelers lose this one they are in serious trouble.

Monday Night
Vikings(3-0)* over Packers(2-1)
I hate the Brett but at home with all their weapons... they are too hard to beat.
oh and by the way fuck both of these teams!!!

The Liar's NFL Week 4 Picks

2009-10-02T13:14:00.005-05:00

This week is gonna be ugly. I'm looking at the match-ups and there are only four games this week that I consider 'safe' bets.
If I walk away from week 4 above .500, I'll consider myself fortunate.

Last Week's Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 35/13

Early Sunday Games:
Ravens (3-0) over Patriots* (2-1)
For my money, Baltimore is the best team in the AFC right now. That's still cold-comfort in a match-up against the bi-polar Patriots.

Redskins* (1-2) over Buccaneers (0-3)
Last week DC bailed out Detroit (once again). Luckily for my god-awful Skins, the Bucs may be an even worse team than the Lions.

Titans (0-3) over Jaguars* (2-1)
I'm going to keep picking the Titans until they finally win a fucking game (not to be confused with 'THE fucking game', which is different).

Raiders (1-2) over Texans* (1-2)
Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhh! I'm trying my damnedest not to pick the Raiders here.
It's. Not. Working.
(note: I actually had Houston winning this, and switched it at the last moment.)

Bears* (2-1) over Lions (1-2)
The Lions got their big win last week, and now need to calm down before they crap their pants. Fuck, if the Lions pull off another win this week I'm wagering that they burn what's left of Detroit to the ground out of sheer excitement...
... um... "Go Lions"?

Bengals (2-1) over Browns* (0-3)
The Bengals actually look pretty damned good this year. Yeah, I can't believe I'm saying it either. If I'm from Cincy, this game looks like a huge trap.

Colts* (3-0) over Seahawks (1-2)
Man, those were some fucking ugly S'hawks jerseys last week, huh? The Seattle area JoAnne Fabrics must be having a clearance on their day-glo materials.

Giants (3-0) over Chiefs* (1-3)
If someone has a gun to your head and forces you to pick a winner this week, here's the game that might just save your life. Other than that, it's pretty much worthless.

Late Sunday Games:
Saints* (3-0) over Jets (3-0)
Here's this week's only match-up of undefeated teams. It should be a good one.

Bills (1-2) over Dolphins* (0-3)
I really should pick the Fish here, but my unrequited (and inexplicable) love of the Bills is gaying things up.

Broncos* (3-0) over Cowboys (2-1)
Hey kids, look at what Kyle Orton can do with an offensive line in front of him.

49ers* (2-1) over Rams (0-3)
The Niners are one last-minute miracle Favre pass away from being undefeated. The Rams remain defeated.

Sunday Night Game:
Steelers* (1-2) over Chargers (2-1)
The reigning Super Bowl champs just dumped two in a row to the Bears and the Bengals. Luckily for them, they've moved out of the 'B' teams and onto the 'C's.

Monday Night Game:
Vikings* (3-0) over Packers (2-1)
GB: You little slut, you, like, totally stole my boyfriend.
MN: Nu'uh. You chased him off with your rancid cheese-breath and ugly-ass snowmobile suits.
GB: You bitch! I hope a bridge falls down on top of you!
MN: You're fat.
GB: *runs away crying*
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Shadrow's Week 3 Picks (i.e. beatdown of the rookie!)

2009-09-26T11:11:00.013-05:00

Yep it is time for my week 3 picks... Time to see who gets beaten down this week. Hopefully not me or my Bears. Week 2 saw a bunch of great action... my Bears managed to pull one out from under the superbowl champs, the Packers ended up getting packed where the sun don't shine, and the Vikings showed that they could be the dominating force in the NFC North. (Or the Lions still just suck that bad.)

Here goes my Week 3 Picks...
Early Sunday:

Lions(0-2)* over Redskins(1-1)

The Lions will not lose another one and will finally start to gel together as a unit. The Skins on the other hand will falter on the road. You look at the numbers and they say, Skins win... but I choose the other direction. Liar can laugh at me later.

Packers(1-1) over Rams(0-2)*

I really want to pick against the Pack but the Rams still are one of the worst teams in the league without an identity to speak of.

49ers(2-0) over Minnesota(2-0)*

Risky pick on my part but I think that Mr. Gore will be able to find the holes in Minnesota's stout run defense. The 49ers have shut down Peterson in the past and will force Favre to throw the long ball which will yield mistakes. Not to mention Samurai Mike has his team believing that they can beat anyone right now.

Falcons(2-0) over Patriots(1-1)*

Tony G. has helped open up Matt Ryan's options and the Patriots are beaten up a bit. Even thought the Pats are at home I think that the holes will open up in their depth and the Falcons running game will have a field day. Not to mention Tom Brady is still not firing on all cylinders.

Jets(2-0)* over Titans(0-2)

Sanchez has to be one of the most impressive rookie QBs I have seen in a long time and the Titans have choked badly since their great start last year.

Eagles(1-1)* over Chiefs(0-2)

I am not a fan of Vick but he could walk onto the field alone, with one arm tied behind his back and still outscore the Chiefs who have fallen on hard times. Not to mention Philly is at home.

Giants(2-0) over Bucs(0-2)*
G-Men=really good--- Bucs=really bad
Bucs fans must be missing Gruden right now.

Ravens(2-0)* over Browns(0-2)
Ray Lewis chose to stay with the Ravens this year and is proving to be an invaluable defensive leader as usual and Joe Flaco is proving that his first season wasn't a fluke. The Browns... well they are the Browns.

Texans(1-1)* over Jaguars(0-2)
Flip a coin... ah fuck it, I go with the home team.

Late Sunday:
Bears(1-1) over Seahawks(1-1)*
Got to go with Da' Bears on this one.

Saints(2-0) over Bills(1-1)*
Drew Brees is playing like a man possessed right now. 9TDs in 2 games... Nuf said.

Bengals(1-1)* over Steelers(1-1)
Last minute change here. After the Steelers derailing last week and the Bengals upsetting the Pack in Green Bay last week... I am riskily picking the Bengals @ home. More Liar fodder here.

Broncos(2-0) over Raiders(0-2)*
Raiders=really bad right now... Orton has mysteriously found his winning ways again.

Dolphins(0-2) over Chargers(1-1)*
After an embarrassing loss to the Colts last week the Dolphins have to beat the Chargers. I love strange offensive schemes...Go Wildcat!

Sunday Night:
Cardinals(1-1)* over Colts(2-0)
Cardinals @ home... Peyton had the light shining down on him last week... not again this week

Monday Night:
Cowboys(1-1)* over Panthers(0-2)

The Panthers are really bad right now... The Cowboys need to prove that the most expensive stadium ever built is good for something.

*=home team

red=bad picks

green=good picks

The Liar's NFL Week 3 Picks

2009-09-25T14:43:00.007-05:00

Oh Shit, it's week three. This is the week where I always know just enough to get suckered into a bunch of losing picks. Weeks three and four are especially brutal because they are rife for upset with desperate teams matching up against teams that have a false sense of security (it started early last week with the Pats, Packers, and Steelers tanking out). This time makes for some great football, but some horrible picks.
Here we go. *crosses fingers*

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 22/10

Early Sunday Games:
Redskins (1-1) over Lions (0-2)*
Everyfuckingbody is picking the Lions to pull an upset here - It has turned into the upset d'jour for this week. Personally, I'd like to see it - I love the Skins, but Jason Campbell just isn't working at QB & Coach Zorn got savaged live on Redskins Radio (which is owned by the team). Not a good sign.

Packers (1-1) over Rams (0-2)*
The Rams almost beat the Skins last week and the Pack shit the bed against the Bungles... Dare we dream? Nope.

Vikings* (2-0) over 49ers (2-0)
I really want to pick the Niners here, but I know that's my heart talking, not my head.

Patriots* (1-1) over Falcons (2-0)
The Pats are one Buffalo kneel-down away from going 0&2, and they know that. The Falcons are good, but another New England loss will bring down a world of shit that the hoodie wants to avoid like the plague. I see the Patriots pulling this one out on sheer determination.

Jets* (2-0) over Titans (0-2)
The Titans had the best record in the NFL last season, now they're 0&2. They're hungry for a win right now and should win this one hands-down in a statement game. One problem: The Jets don't know that they're not supposed to win this

Eagles* (1-1) over Chiefs (0-2)
McNabb is still out with his busted McRibs, Garcia is off pricing real-estate in the greater Philly region, Kolb got corn-holed last week, and the ASPCA's least favorite ex-con is ready to take a few snaps for the first time in years. Lucky for the Beagles, they're playing Kansas Shitty. Philly could win this one with Vick's prison-husband behind center (with said center hiking the ball standing straight up --and who could blame him--).

Giants (2-0) over Buccaneers* (0-2)
If anyone is in a knock-out pool, this week is the week to use your Giants pick.

Ravens* (2-0) over Browns (0-2)
Nothing would make Cleveland happier here than a New Browns trouncing of the Old Browns, well, that and maybe not living in Cleveland... It's a close one. Either way, they're stuck.

Texans* (1-1) over Jaguars (0-2)
I've already given up trying to figure out the Texans this season. I'm just picking them because they're at home, and hoping for the best

Late Sunday Games:
Bears (1-1) over Seahawks* (1-1)

Did you Know?: 'Bear Down Chicago Bears' was written in 1941, the year after the Bears crushed the Redskins in the NFL Championship Game by the score of 73-0 (which remains the largest shutout margin in any game in the history of the NFL).

Saints (2-0) over Bills* (1-1)
I really want to pick my Williams in this one, but the Flood-City Saints have been putting up crazy-retarded numbers in the first couple of games.

Steelers (1-1) over Bengals* (1-1)
After last week's depantsing in Chicago, the Steelers are ready to beat the shit out of the next thing that walks past. Hello, Cincinnati!

Broncos (2-0) over Raiders* (1-1)
If the Raiders had ANYONE other than JaMarcus Russell in at QB, I'd pick 'em here. They don't.

Chargers* (1-1) over Dolphins (0-2)
Everything is telling me that Miami is going to win this, but then I go back to last week's game against the Colts. The Fish dominated that game with 2/3 time of possession, but then every time Manning got the ball he slung it down the field for a TD. Guess who else can do that? Yup, Phillip Rivers.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts (2-0) over Cardinals* (1-1)
Both of these teams have me perplexed this year - I can't get a good read on either of them, so I'll do what I always do in a situation like this: Bet against the Cardinals.

Monday Night Game:
Cowboys* (1-1) over Panthers (0-2)
Jerry Jones is foaming for a win in his own private Thunderdome. The 'Boys best get a win here before the owner goes all rabid-badger up on 'em.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

New Blood... Yes...

2009-09-25T02:56:00.003-05:00

So finally the Nate (i.e. the Shadrow) comes out of his shell and decides to post here on Killing for Sports. Yeah... dumb move on my part considering the eternal ability of the Liar to make mere mortals shit at the sight of his predictions.

About me real quick...
I am a die hard Bears fan... fuck everyone else in the NFC North. Brett Favre is a turncoat and needs to be put out of his misery like a lame horse.
I am a die hard Chicago sports fan... I side with the Cubs but where has gotten me in the last 100 years...

To cut things to the chase. I thought it would be fun to post here on all things sports... especially football but unfortunately got in on the NFL season a couple of weeks too late. So a proposition to the Liar to make things a little more fun for this season... a duel to the death (which I will probably lose).

I know that I have come in late but lets call things even for now. (if not I will work under a handicap) From week 3 through to the Superbowl I will call things in a similar fashion to that of the Liar. May the douchebag with the best record win... and trust me the both of us together amount to a couple of tanker trucks full of vinegar and water.

Bets are in order between him and I so let the smack talk begin...

Shadrow

New Blood

2009-09-23T00:48:00.005-05:00

We have a new blogger.
No, really!

Shadrow is joining the KfS crew. Be sure to let him know what a huge mistake he's making.

The Liar's NFL Week 2 Picks

2009-09-18T18:08:00.015-05:00

Okay I went 12 & 4 in the opening week - Not bad.
This week I'm still kinda sick (from a crazy 24-hour bug I had earlier this week) and still all pumped full of meds, let's see how getting all goofy on cough-syrup helps with my picking skillz.

Last Week's Picks: 12/4
Season Record: 12/4

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (1-0) over Panthers (0-1)
Delhomme is the luckiest man in the NFL - He signed a five-year, $42.5 million contract extension back in April and now is coming apart faster than a Boatswain rocket ship. That's timing, motherfuckers! Ka-Ching!

Vikings (1-0) over Lions (0-1)*
I'm not gonna even kid myself, After this week my Bears are gonna be two-in-the-hole (2-ways).
Oh, and Ed, stop snickering.

Packers* (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
Here's the second 2-deep hole holder.
Seriously Ed, you know what I'm saying, grow up.

Titans* (0-1) over Texans (0-1)
If the power of the Sexan Rexan Texan can't get Houston a win, I don't know what can.

Raiders (0-1) over Chiefs* (0-1)
The Raiders lost to the Chargers last week, but looked good doing it.

Patriots (1-0) over Jets* (1-0)
I think that the Jets have a great shot at an upset here. I really want to make that bet, but am picking conservatively in the opening weeks.
Postgame: I got hard-screwed for being too conservative. Now I know how Scooter Libby feels.

Saints (1-0) over Eagles* (1-0)
New Orleans picked the perfect week to roll into (the not currently sunny) Philadelphia. McNabb's out, Vick is still in the pound, and Garcia hasn't even had a chance to unpack. The Saints are all set to toss Kolb's salad.

Redskins* (0-1) over Rams (0-1)
Now here's a Skins win I can pick. I'd feel a lot better about this pick if Washington hadn't dumped 2-straight to the blowful Rams... Fucking 'Skins.

Jaguars* (0-1) over Cardinals (0-1)
Forget all the hype about 'Madden Curses' and the 'Slump of the Super Bowl Losers' - We're talking about the MOTHERFUCKING NFL CARDINALS here. They have sucked consistently for eight decades (with a one-month lucky streak earlier this year). Everything is just going back to normal.

Late Sunday Games:
49ers* (1-0) over Seahawks (1-0)
Speaking of the Cardinals sucking... Here's the team that I predicted (here) would capture the NFC West this year. Go Niners!

Bills* (0-1) over Buccaneers (0-1)
Buffalo was one kneel-down away from trumping the Pats in Foxborough and stealing a win from the NFL gods. Well, that didn't happen - They fumbled the football and lost at the last second on a Brady miracle pass. This game should help ease the pain a bit.

Steelers (1-0) over Bears* (0-1)
I'm not saying that the Bears can't win this, I'm just saying that they're not going to win this.
BTW: as of 5PM on Friday the open betting line is (+1) Steelers - Man, you gotta admire the Chicago sports fans' ability to totally fuck the odds with ill-advised wagering.
Postgame: I was wrong - WOO-HOO, wrong! It was beyond impressive how Chicago got their offense to gel so quickly after last week's goat-rope. Lookin' good.

Ravens (1-0) over Chargers* (1-0)
With San Diego's battered O-Line, Phillip Rivers enters this week's QB dead-pool at #1 with a bullet.

Broncos* (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Howza 'bout them Broncos? You can't win every game like they did last week, Just against teams from Ohio. Hey, here's another one.

Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys* (1-0) over Giants (1-0)
The Giants could barely handle the sucktacular 'Skins last week. I'm giving Dallas the edge in this one.

Monday Night Game:
Colts (1-0) over Dolphins* (0-1)
It puts the lotion in Hank Baskett...
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Breakdown

2009-09-17T11:13:00.000-05:00

The Pittsburgh Steelers have a good quarterback, a good group of receivers, a respectable offensive line, a solid running game, and they're all familiar with each other after a few years of doing battle together.

The Chicago Bears have a good quarterback, good running back, questionable receivers, a mediocre to disheveled offensive line, and almost zero familiarity between any of them. (Not to mention a predictable coordinator.)

Defense-wise, both teams are missing their most recognized name, but both are solid defenses, so my prediction is that we see a similar game as the Bears/Packers match last week, where defense reigns and offense only gets a play or two in each series.

Truth is, I'm less worried about the Steelers than I am about the late start time. The Bears have never done well in the later slots, and 7 games are 3:00 or later this year. All that said, I'd love to see the Bears overcome, but I think they have very little actual chance in this game. :(

The Liar's NFL Week 1 Picks (2009 Edition)

2009-09-09T16:27:00.015-05:00

Fuck, yeah, I'm doin' it again. I really enjoy making these picks every week, and if you have rep riding on it, it makes any game worth watching. I'm in for the year, bitches.
Check back here every Thursday (or Friday, or Saturday, sometimes Wednesday, and maybe even a Tuesday thrown in for sport) for my weekly picks.

2008/2009 Season Record: 168/98/1
2009/2010 Season Record: 0/0

Thursday Night Game:
Steelers* (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
I really would like to pick the Titans in an upset here, but even I know better than to bet against the reigning Super Bowl champs on their home turf.

Early Sunday Games:
Dolphins (0-0) over Falcons* (0-0)
The Fish are going to need every win they can get to make it back to the postseason this year. This is the closest thing to a "must win" game in week one.

Broncos (0-0) over Bengals* (0-0)
Finally, now that Denver dumped Shanahan and that little spoiled bitch of a QB, I can go back to liking them.

Vikings (0-0) over Browns* (0-0)
I would love to see a Browns win here, but the Vikes are looking sharp now that they grave-robbed up a QB that doesn't completely suck.

Colts* (0-0) over Jaguars (0-0)
I want to pick the Jags here, but am playing it safe and sticking with the home team.

Saints* (0-0) over Lions (0-0)
Savor this time, Detroit. You have the best record of your season right now. Good times.

Cowboys (0-0) over Buccaneers* (0-0)
The Cowboys look like a Celestial fire-drill run amok. Fortunately for them, The Bucs are in even greater disarray right now.

Eagles (0-0) over Panthers* (0-0)
ZOMG, it's a wild-cat offense. Rawr!

Ravens* (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
Not all 0&0 teams are created equal.

Texans* (0-0) over Jets (0-0)
This one should be a barn-burner, and the only reason I'm picking the Texans is because of their superlative back-up QB, Sexy Rexy (now a Sexen Rexan Texan) Grossman. Bwwwaaaahhh!
Actually, I'm just going with the home team, but that Grossie bit was good for a laugh.

Late Sunday Games:
Giants* (0-0) over Redskins (0-0)
Last season I picked the Redskins to beat the Giants back in week one. Man, sometimes I am such a fucking retard.

Cardinals* (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
And we're sure that the Arizona Cardinals are the NFC Super Bowl team from last season?
Just checking.
Postgame: I originally had picked San Fran in this one...
Original: "And we're sure that the Arizona Cardinals are the NFC Super Bowl team from last season?
Fuck it, I'm still going with the Niners."
Wish I had stuck with being cute.

Seahawks* (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Um... Yeah... We're gonna need to go ahead and move this football game downstairs into storage room B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, Okay?

Sunday Night Game:
Bears (0-0) over Packers* (0-0)
All of you regular readers of this series know that I fucking HATE Jay Cutler, but I really do think that he makes the Bears a much better team, and am ready to get behind him 100%. Whether or not I punch him in the base of the skull while I'm back there is yet to be determined.
I'm calling 10 or 11 Bears wins this year, which should take Jay up to .500 on his career W/L %.
Postgame: I'm just glad that we finally found a franchise QB that doesn't turn over the ball in critical situations.

Early Monday Night Game:
Patriots* (0-0) over Bills (0-0)
I love me some Buffalo Williams (for some unknown reason), but am not even going to think about making that bet.

Late Monday Night Game:
Chargers (0-0) over Raiders* (0-0)
C'mon, who the fuck hasn't wanted to choke-out Tila Tequilla? Anyone?
Shawne Merriman should take this opportunity and get some solid advice on the art of choking from the Raiders, they are the masters after all.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Sexy Rexy Highlights

2009-09-06T07:54:00.001-05:00

This is for the Liar - I know you've been missing him: http://www.nfl.com/videos/houston-texans/09000d5d81264567/Pre-WK-4-Rex-Grossman-highlights

Hitler Loves Favre

2009-08-31T08:02:00.000-05:00

Coupla things...

2009-08-21T14:56:00.000-05:00

So, the Dodgers walked Kosuke to load the bags (and here's the sad part) in order to bring Soriano to the plate. And Soriano (here's the sadder part) struck out. How much do we pay that asshole? Ironically, the Cubs did the same thing to the dodgers and (here's the saddest part) they got a grand slam.

Why has so much of the sports reporting in Chicago been about who called who a "doo-doo head," or whatever. Are we in Junior High?

Lou has lost the leash on the Cubs. Barring a miracle finish, we need to start a new cycle of false hope. I vote we hire Erin Andrews to manage the Cubs. At least the post-loss news conferences will be worth watching.

Rex Grossman has become the NFL's Mark Prior.

Finally, fuck baseball. It's a stupid sport.

New Logo

2009-08-17T17:42:00.002-05:00

Welcome Back Josh Hamilton!

2009-08-08T22:07:00.000-05:00

Harnish

2009-08-02T13:32:00.002-05:00

NIU's sophmore starting quarterback, Chandler Harnish, and the senior leaders of the defense and offensive line, at the urging of coach Kill (best name for a football coach ever), have spent the summer drilling at least twice a week on their own. They're heading into a meat grinder on the road at Madison in their first game this season. I think that will either harden them or destroy them.

Please, wish them luck. And if anyone has any interest in coming out for a tailgaiting adventure this season, check out the scedule and let me know.

Beaten Dog

2009-07-06T13:12:00.002-05:00

If you think about the rise and fall of Rex Grossman, it is a pretty sad story. This video cracks me up, regardless. Skip to close to the end for the Grossman stuff:

I've never seen someone so begrudging about a job, but who could blame him after squandering all that potential to a couple freak injuries early on, then getting back in time for his veteran o-line to suck and his go-to running back to leave in favor of the worst RB I've seen on the Bears. I've never claimed he was perfect, but I do think he has the worst luck.

Fuck the Cubs (If They Ever Stop Fucking Themselves)

2009-06-29T17:05:00.005-05:00

I haven't been following the Cubs at all this season. I lost interest long before the season even began.
Anyone unfortunate to breach the subject of the Cubs in my presence since early January has heard my angry expletive-laden rant on how trading DeRosa (my favorite MLB player) and signing Bradly (my least-favorite MLB player) was tantamount to ripping out the heart of the franchise and replacing it with a cancerous turd.
Fucking Cubs.
Well, now DeRosa is on the division-rivals Cardinals roster, and Bradly looks more likely to end up in Statesville than Cooperstown. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to say: "I told you so. I hope that DeRosa fucking decimates the northsiders in the remaining inter-divisional games, and leads the Red Birds to an 11th World Series victory."

As for the Cubs? Fuck 'em.
The only thing they have going for them right now is that they're not the White Sox, and that's cold comfort even in the heat of summer.

What, Who, What?

2009-06-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

I almost didn't recognize that Steve Goodman song. It's been a long time since I've heard it.

Sosa finally liked to roids but.... that's not why I'm pissed.

2009-06-17T08:46:00.002-05:00

I really could care less about 2003 and proof of steroid use... My question are why aren't they prosecuting the people releasing this information? Why isn't this lawyer getting disbarred? How can these news sources release unconfirmed information? Why is the information only being released one name at a time with unnamed sources? Here's what I think....

I think the only reason they don't release the whole list is it's ILLEGAL! I don't condone the steroid use of these players but they are having crimes committed against them. First it's illegal to take medical information and give it to some one else with out the consent of the person whom the medical information is about. I am also pretty sure most states have laws against publishing said information. Don't give me the excuse that writers and the media aren't aware of the laws about publishing illegal medical records. Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law. If we break the law to violate athletes rights to make a buck, what makes that ok? Is it because they pissed you off about tarnishing something you love? I think not these grease balls found a way to get a cut of the cash. How much different is that from your common mobster selling cigs that fell of a truck? Don't talk about responsible journalism because it does not look like sources were checked, backed or confirmed. This is a money grab nothing less. That's the real the only reason this is coming out one name at a time. Is it's illegal and some one waits until they need more money to break the law again. Unless you get consent from every person on the list to release there medical records or you bust the criminal enterprise making money off of this(Lawyer leaking information and SI releasing it.). You will only get one at a time so the crooks can milk it for every penny. The whole thing is dirty from the steroid use, cover up by management to the way it's reported.

I have to go shower.

Bad day for Chicago hockey and sports drinks.

2009-05-27T23:09:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling bad for the Hawks and the Gatorade cooler in the Cubs' dugout. Maybe we should sick Big Z on those Red Wings.

Jake's List

2009-05-22T12:34:00.003-05:00

Why am I not surprised that, according to Barry Axlerod in an interview today, there are "no American League teams" on Jake Peavy's list of teams he'd like to be traded to...

No American League teams

Is he used to NL lineups? Players switch leagues all the time.

Whoever gets him will be very happy for about 6 innings.

Canseco dime out update...

2009-05-07T14:56:00.002-05:00

So far Canseco is fricking 19 for 20 with droppin man hole covers on people in baseball and roids.

Fucking Manny is a dope... wait Manny shoots dope.... no wait Manny takes female fertility drugs??? huh. Is he haveing trouble getting pregnant.

Next up is Pujois and his big ass head.

Bring On Favre

2009-05-06T10:07:00.002-05:00

Brett Favre is meeting with the Vikings, apparently. I think he wanted to go there last year, but circumstances wouldn't allow it. Every year, the Vikings look pretty good on paper, and every year, they flame out before the end of the season.

In the NFL North, I would love to see Jay Cutler and Aaron Rodgers pound on Favre this year. I think he should have retired from Green Bay. He had a great finale season with them and his press conferences then would have seen him off with style. The mess that followed during that off-season has already chipped at his legend a little, and a run in MN might do some real damage. Or he could get hurt. Either way, it's not the most classy move to get back into the division where his legend was made. Regardless of what I think about the Packers, I give the fans credit for being tenacious. He's taking a leak on them if he goes to MN.

There's a recent interview with Jim McMahon from a week or two ago that made me laugh: (http://www.670thescore.com/episode_download.php?contentType=36&contentId=3663288)

April Baseball Review

2009-05-01T21:39:00.006-05:00

What a pretty cool month of baseball this past month.
Here is a short review by team for the first month:

Blue Jays - Hitting everything in sight and getting very good pitching. Nice to see, but the offense will not last

Boston - Winning despite Ortiz not hitting anything. They will be in the playoffs

NY Yanks - It's about time they look old! And that pitching - They are lucky to be over .500

TB Rays - Proving that last season was a major fluke

Baltimore - I like Adam Jones and that is about it until they call up their soon to be star catcher

Royals! - Go Grienke! I have been high on this kid since 2005. What a fun team to watch and root for...Playoffs!?

Socks - Sticking around as always - They need to get one starter to help solidify the back end of that rotation

Twins - They will hang around all season now that they are getting healthy

Tigers - Inge! He just looks like a ballplayer - The rest of the team is way overrated...Although Verlander is looking good again

Indians - Cliff Lee is starting to look like himself from last season and Sizemore needs to step up if they want to contend

Mariners - Hernandez and Ichiro are awesome. The other players are just having good luck - sometimes that is all that it takes to win

Rangers - Hamilton is unhealthy and that is not god news for the Rangers. Pitching is awful for the 38th straight year

Athletics - Pretty good young starters. Staff gets much better when Justin Duchsherer (Sp?) returns. I like Giambi and was hoping he was going to get signed by the Cubs

Angels - Yeah, they look bad now and they lost some key players to free agency and injuries - Somehow Scioscia finds a way to win year after year

Marlins - They are young and will be up and down all season - probably the streakiest team in baseball this year. Look out for Chad Volstad - He has great stuff and poise

Phillies - Imagine what they could be year after year with any starting pitching. Batters 1-6 are so fun to watch

Braves - Gone are the glory days, but Cox knows how to play winning baseball. They will stick around

Mets - Santana is hot! Beltran is Hot! Too bad this team has never all gotten hot togther (whatever that means)

National's - Why are they a franchise? Should have folded when they were the Expos - You know your team is really bad when Adam Dunn is leading them in BA

Cardinals - Pujols and LaRussa are always a potent combination. They just play winning baseball year after year and Carpenter comes back in a couple weeks - Ouch! They just need to learn how to catch the ball

Reds - The whole starting pitching staff will have their arms fall off by July - That is the Dusty Baker way. Votto & Bruce will be very good ballplayers for some years to come.

Brewers - No starting pitching and spotty hitting....They will be 10 games under when it is all said and done

Cubs - F Them! Bradley? I have never liked this guy. Again, Lee should have been traded and Giambi should be playing first and DeRosa should still be the super sub...Pitching will be very strong. They will be in the playoffs.

Pirates - Should have folded with the Expos - What an awful franchise. It's a shame as they have a great ballpark.

Astros - I really do not mind seeing Texas baseball teams sucking - Where are your elbow pads now?

Dodgers - I hate Manny with a passion - He is a reincarnation of Dick Allen. Great pitching and some young talented players in the field - Just get rid of Manny

Giants - Lincecum and Cain and pray for rain!

Padres - Gonzalez and Peavy are very good ballplayers and that is all the team has. Tough hitters park they play in.

D-Backs - They are really not a good team. Haren will win the Cy Young award this year though. They desperately need Webb back and so does one of my fantasy teams! Get healthy quick!

Rockies - They changed their lineup in the past decade - They need more power. Pitching is always suspect for this team.

As Heard on Radio

2009-04-30T10:36:00.003-05:00

Mike Mulligan this morning (paraphrased):

This swine flu is spreading almost as fast as Jay Cutler Fever!

Ozzie Guillen Cracks Me Up

2009-04-22T09:42:00.004-05:00

From ESPN.com, Jim Caple: 10 Burning Questions For Ozzie Guillen - in regards to Obama throwing out the first pitch in 2005:

He threw out the first pitch at the 2005 World Series. What do you remember about it?

I was criticizing Jerry Reinsdorf about it because at the World Series -- and I always watch them -- there are always celebrities throwing out the first pitch. Movie actors and actresses and people like that. And then I see this Obama guy throw out the first pitch, and I said, "Who's that guy?"

and more politics:

How is his arm?

He's a great president.

Cubs News

2009-04-07T22:47:00.003-05:00

Well, the Cubs lost in extras today and the Astros acted like it was the World Series (sorry, you jerks lost the last one you were in), but Soriano is on pace to hit 162 homers this year.

Let's Get This Football Season Started

2009-04-02T23:01:00.001-05:00

Chicago has a franchise QB and a veteran, pro-bowl offensive tackle today. Wow. I mean, wow.

Norm Lets the Bulls Have It But Good

2009-02-27T12:30:00.001-06:00

Storm

2009-02-26T16:17:00.007-06:00

My favorite memories of Stormin’ Norman Van Lier are on the local ESPN station…Carmen DeFalco was doing a post game (more like a post mortem) following a listless outing. Norm was po'd about the lack of effort on the court and Carmen referenced the ironic slogan for the season…

“You know Norm, ’Everything can change in the blink of an eye’”…to which Norm responded, “Yeah everything can change with a punch in the eye too!”

As mad as I was about the crappy basketball I just watched, Norm made me laugh and fired me up with his passion for the sport he loved.

It was right around that time that Norm had his own radio show on Sunday nights and as the music played him out to commercial he demanded that the song be turned up as he sang along, “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog…was a good friend of mine”

With his passing I think of that dog food song from Three Dog Night and find it ennobled because Norm sang it like there was something good in it for all of us.

His passion and his joy always seemed genuine and in this world that is a rare thing. Heaven better look out because Stormin Norm is there…and he’s got all his fouls to give.

The Liar's Super Bowl XXLIII Pick

2009-01-30T17:19:00.003-06:00

This had been one fucking wacky season. The Bears and 'Skins shit the bed in a spectacular fashion. A team that shouldn't have broken even is in the fucking Super Bowl. Tom Brady gets knocked out for the season, but the Pats still win 11, yet miss the playoffs. The Lions have the first perfect-loss 16 game season in NFL History. Giants fall and joke-teams reign supreme. This was a deeply strange season - Thank Christ it's over.

Last Week's Picks: 1/1
Season Record: 168/97/1

Super Bowl (6:30 PM Eastern):
Cardinals (12-7) over Steelers (14-4)
Fuck it, I give up!
I've discounted the Cardinals entirely, but they just won't die. If you can't beat 'em...
I'm picking Arizona and rooting Pittsburgh.

What's In a Name?

2009-01-23T11:01:00.002-06:00

First, there was McPhail. Now Ricketts. Will the Cubs ever win the battle of negative names? Maybe Milton Bradley is a start.

Fucked, Jurko & Harry

2009-01-19T16:35:00.003-06:00

...or Two Co-Hosts and a Microphone

Should a guy be paid $600,000 a year to talk about sports, booze and flatulence on the public airwaves? Probably not, but I am gonna miss Dangerous Dan McNeil host…pardon me, former host of ESPN 1000’s Afternoon Saloon.

Did I always agree with his views on the games people play?

No.

Do I think his opinions outside the realms of sports, esp. music and movies were worth a damn?

Hell no.

Do I think he sometimes went way the fuck out of his way to agitate guests, his co-hosts and the Chicago sports radio listening audience?

Yes…and I’m not ashamed to admit that is what I liked best about him.

I hate seeing these Danny Mac pieces that also mention Mike North. Yeah yeah yeah, North had a big morning drive sports show for years, but he always struck me as someone acting like he was from Chicago. McNeil proudly admits he calls the dumbest state in the Union home. He doesn't have to pretend to be from anywhere, he just needs to talk his shit and guys like me will listen.

Mac's love of hockey, even in the darkest years for the Blackhawk organ-aye-zation ranged from punk rock to downright poetic. Until this year, if someone on the show talked too much about the Hawks or hockey in general the Hawk horn blew. This is my first year of following hockey somewhat regularly and I have Mac and Harry and their love (and sadness for the long decline) of the sport to thank for that. There must be something to the icy puck and shur-wood (sp. Jeanz? Nikolai Khabibulin? anybody?!) if these guys are so ready to lament the near death of the sport.

Some douchebag once said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Dangerous Danny Mac had a mic and he damned well knew how to use it. Unnecessary hullabaloos may not be the hallmark of great broadcasting, but they sure made for entertaining listening during sleepy, cold winter afternoons.

The show goes on with Carmen DeFalco in the driver’s seat. I will listen because where the hell am I going in my life? But I’ll miss the loudmouth bastard that ran the show for 9 years…

…and I hope to shit I don’t run into him at a bar. It could get ugly, cuz I'm an obnoxious piece of crap even without the microphone.

The Liar's NFL Conference Championship Playoff Picks

2009-01-17T12:10:00.005-06:00

Man, this had been a hectic playoff season (and I'm not talking about on the field). Last week I missed all but one game doing the Chili Solstice and related hinterland activities, and tomorrow night I'm gonna miss the marque game to see the Hudson Falcons at Bottom Lounge. I'm Tivoing that one, so any texts and/or calls regarding that game will be summarily ignored until after I get a chance to watch it. I'm just saying, is all...

Last Week's Picks: 3/1
Season Record: 167/96/1

Sunday Afternoon Game (3 PM Eastern):
Eagles (11-6-1) over Cardinals (11-7)
Ho-lee-shit! The Cards could be heading to the mother-fucking Super Bowl with one more win. Did anyone see this one coming? Anyway, I think that the Eagles are the far-superior team in this match-up, but then again, I said the same thing about the Falcons and Panthers.

Sunday Night Game (6:30 PM Eastern):
Steelers (13-4) over Ravens (13-5)
Yeah, I picked the Ravens to win the whole shebang, but I also said that I was hoping like hell for a Steelers -vs- Eagles Super Bowl . I'm going with hope in this one.
===

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Pittsburgh All The Way

2009-01-16T09:55:00.001-06:00

Eagles, Cardinals, and Ravens. I'd bet the Rooney family is glad they don't run the Pittsburgh Parrots.

Risk, Monopoly or The Game of Life

2009-01-13T21:20:00.008-06:00

Milton Bradley, love him and hate him, is now the Cubbies right fielder. I, for one, remember watching when he went after his manager, Eric Wedge, as an Indian and grabbed him by the throat in 2005. I said, "Indians, you do not need this crap...bleeping get rid of him, Scalp the bastard"!
...It so happens shortly after that incident I was attending one of my baseball drafts. I was outside smoking and near the end of the draft of this N.L.(Only) 13angry men draft. When one angry member in the league starts asking how much $ does each of have to spend? It came down to that I had more money ($13) to bid than any other team owner for Bradley. Little did I know that this person was reading the ticker tape on espn as I was not aware that Milton had been traded. Anyway, I would not have ventured his way at all. I had the feeling he was going high when the bidding suddenly begun for him. I put up $0 for him. I believe that the player I draft must be clean, noble, and know how to play the game. The latter praise is all I have for Bradley. I instead opted for that year to draft Ricky Nolasco, Josh Johnson and Chris Young for the $13.

I have never enjoyed having the Clemen's, Sosa's, Palmiero's on any of my teams. Ever! Never Will! This league is special as we are allowed to draft anybody not in the major leagues as future keepers. Often times my wife finds me reading many a Baseball America and checking on the potential young stars. NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS! I find that I pick those who will have to claw and fight their way to the SHOW!

Enough about fantasy ball; even though it is real. Milton Bradley poses upsides/downsides for the Cubbies. He is older (30) and has claimed to have matured with the game. Is he soft? Injuries may answer that. The Cubs have an out clause in the first year that protect them from his ability to get injured. Can he contribute? Hell Ya! In that lineup and in that field! He is the same hitter from both sides of the plate - rare for a switch hitter. "He takes too many walks", I hear. Let him! He has hitters behind him! The cubs are in a rare position in the National League where their patience and power equals that of any AL powerhouse that enjoys the luxury of the DH. And their pitching is the envy of all of baseball (outside the Angels).
Will he respond to Lou? Will they have it out? How will he interact with Aramis, Lee and Soriano? The guy could not be better fitted for this team as is the team for him.
Bradley will be rested often...125 games started is my goal for him with pinch hitting duties - this helps replace Ward.
"Santi", you scream, "You Idiot"! While this is true 98.723% of the time (Calling me an idiot is a game of percentages on beers consumed), I defer that we still have Reed and Fukudome. "Santi, are you even dumber than you type?" No, I reply. The ploy is that cubbies are signing another Japanese hero to keep the other Jap happy. This means we still enjoy great defense in right field with fuku... and maybe a ressurgence of his offense. (And YES am I stupid for believing that after watching him against ML pitching)

At the end of the dealings I think they cubbies came out winners - this is only possible with a healthy Bradley (Miles and Gregg need to perform as well). There is still talk between the Padres and Cubs on Peavy who might make an interesting mid-season deal. The end goal is winning it all.
And that said, I like the off season Cubs moves. They have made themselves more liquid for the new ownership (whomever that might be - I am glad it is not crazy guy from Dallas) to make some immediate moves. (Don't forget the MLB blocking of Carl Crawford coming to us in 2006 for fear of the ownership would not be liquid enough). The Nuclueus is still there. I would love to have seen Lee gone and Giambi playing first for a season or two. Anyway, Roberts is still on the table!

The Liar's NFL Divisional Playoffs Pick

2009-01-09T18:26:00.005-06:00

I don't know how much football I'm gonna catch this weekend. I'm planning on making the pilgrimage out to DeKalb for the Chili Solstice tomorrow night, which means that by the time I sober-up, it'll be Tuesday. Good times.
Maybe I'll catch some games with the D-Town drinking brigade, or I might just have to read about the results in the paper after they let me out of the drunk-tank. We'll see.

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 164/95/1

Saturday Afternoon Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Ravens (12-5) over Titans (13-3)
I picked the Ravens to win it all this year, so (by extension of logic) they sorta have to win this game for my Super Bowl pick to happen. The Titans are tough, but I think that Baltimore stacks up nicely against 'em. This game is going to be decided by the better offense (neither of them are great, but...), I'm going with the Ravens.

Saturday Night Game (8:15 PM Eastern):
Panthers (12-4 ) over Cardinals (10-7)
How the fuck did Arizona make it out of wild-card weekend?!?! Hell, how did they make it into the playoffs to begin with? If Carolina doesn't send the Red-Birds back to the desert dejected, I'll be shocked. Again.

Early Sunday Game (1 PM Eastern):
Eagles (10-6-1) over Giants (12-4)
I'm holding a huge grudge against the G-Men for letting the Vikes have a win in their last game of the season. Fucking bums. Not that it would have made any kind of a difference if Minnesota had won, but I'm pissed on principal alone. I think that the Giants have the upper-hand in this one, but are in for a brutal street-fight against their against-all-odds divisional rival.

Late Sunday Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Steelers (12-4) over Chargers (9-8)
The Bolts ruined what was to be Tony Dungy's swan-song season (now he'll probably come back again to make yet another run at it). Unfortunately for the Bolts, Pittsburgh is a totally different kind of team. San Diego matches up well against the high-octane show teams, but not so well against the hard-D brick-wall teams. I see the Steelers making an example of the Chargers in this one.
===

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

The Liar's NFL Wild-Card Weekend Playoff Picks

2009-01-01T17:04:00.015-06:00

PLAYOFFS!!!
It's that time of the year. And since the Bears and Skins were kind enough to piss away their seasons into oblivion, I can go into the postseason with a clear and impartial mind. Thanks guys; you fucking suck it.
Here's my thoughts on the Super Bowl this year: I (like most everyone else in the nation) want to see a Pennsylvania Super Bowl throw-down between the Eagles and Steelers - It's possible, but unlikely.
We'll probably get a Titans -vs- Panthers snooze-fest with all of the nail-biting excitement of a trip to the bank.
My prediction is that the big game will be the Ravens over the Panthers, but really have nothing (other than pure conjecture) to back it up.
The one thing that I can guarantee: After this week, there will be all of zero teams left in the playoffs from west of the Mississippi river. Bank on it .

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 162/93/1

Saturday Afternoon Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Falcons (11-5) over Cardinals (9-7)
The NFC South divisional record is 40-24. The NFC West divisional record is 22-42.
The Cardinals don't even belong in the playoffs, and are heading toward one of the biggest embarrassments in the long sucky history of the oldest team in the NFL (1898). The classy thing would be to forfeit at the coin-flip and save Arizona the indignity.
Postgame: The Cards fucking won?!?! I give up.

Saturday Night Game (8 PM Eastern):
Colts (12-4) over Chargers (8-8)
The AFC South divisional record is 38-26. The AFC West divisional record is 23-41.
Yeah, the stats are almost as bad as the aforementioned match, but the Bolts have a good record at matching up against Indy. If any of you have ever watched a zombie flick, you know how dangerous the risen-from-the-dead-Chargers are right now, but I see the Colts standing tough with a sawed-off street-sweeper ready to send them back to their AFC West grave.
Postgame: A Chargers -vs- Cards Super Bowl doesn't seem so ridiculous right now. Christ help us all.

Early Sunday Game (1 PM Eastern):
Ravens (11-5) over Dolphins (11-5)
I am jazzed-up for this one. It's going to be such a good game that I might just forget how much I hate both of these teams for 4 quarters of play. This one's gonna be a down & dirty smack-down for the ages, and it's anyone's game.
Yeah, I just said that I think that the Ravens will win the Superbowl, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if they got knocked-out in the first round. They are going to have the hardest road of ANY team in the playoffs. If they can make it all the way, they'll be impossible to stop.
Postgame: Even the one I got right, I got wrong. Of all the games so far, this is the only one that wasn't even close. The two that I thought were gonna be blow-outs were barn-burners and the game I thought was gonna go down to the line was over by half-time. Go figure.

Late Sunday Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Eagles (9-6-1) over Vikings (10-6)
Yup, I Google mapped it, and the Metrodome is a whole 4 blocks south-west of the Mississippi.
They're out.
At least I could find the stadium, unlike the Vikings fans. It looks like this HOME GAME IS GOING TO BE BLACKED-OUT in the Minneapolis market due to poor ticket sales. Are you fucking kidding me? Just go away, Vikings, and leave us football fans alone.
Postgame: Thanx, Minnesota. Your unparalleled ability to fail saved me from getting totally schooled in my first-round playoff picks.
===

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

The Liar's NFL Week 17 Picks

2008-12-26T14:39:00.007-06:00

It's the last week of the NFL Regular Season, and much like a good number of the teams below, I'm taking a break this week.
I'm picking the teams that I want to win, rather than the teams that I think will win. I'm suspending the hell out of disbelief for one week and just going for the gusto. Hell, I was even tempted to pick a tie for the Bears this week, just because I thought that it would be that much more awesome if the Viking lose and the Bears tie to get into the playoffs. I had it down and then changed it because I realized what a stupid fucking pick that was. But the point is that I am actually tempted to pick a fucking tie.
It's totally that kind of a week.

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 151/88/1

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (10-5) over Rams (10-15)
With an Atlanta win here and a Carolina loss, the Falcons could secure the NFC South championship. I say that just that happens. Why? because for the last 5 seasons every team that has finished last in that division has come back the next year to win the title. Falcons were the last-place finisher last year - I say they keep the streak going.

Patriots (10-5) over Bills (7-8)
The Patriots at 11 & 5 probably aren't gonna make the playoffs. Really. They need either a Baltimore loss or a Miami loss to make it in. I don't think that either of those things will happen (even though I'm picking the Jets to win later on in this post). Regardless, even if there's the slimmest hope of postseason play, Belichick is gonna go after the Williams full-throttle.

Bengals (3-11-1) over Chiefs (2-13)
With a loss here the Chiefs can nail down the second pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. You can do it, Kansas City! Lose one for the fans.

Packers (5-9) over Lions (0-15)
This is history folks! The Lions are on the precipice of becoming the worst team in NFL history. One more loss and "2008 Lions" will be synonymous with failure, thus supplanting the '76 (0-14) Bucs. They'll hold that honor until some future suck team goes 0 &18 once the League decides to bump up the regular season by a couple of games.
Also, I'd be reminisced if I didn't add that the Pack really needs a win here to keep the normally placid fan base from burning Lambeau Field to the ground. I'm kinda hoping for a Pack loss just to watch the fireworks in the off-season, but would rather see Detroit make history.

Colts (11-4) over Titans (13-2)
Neither of these teams has anything to play for this week. They're both locked-into their playoff positions, but I think that the Colts are looking at this one as a statement game. If Indy can get a win here, their post-season stock will sky-rocket.

Giants (12-3) over Vikings (9-6)
The Giants have nothing to play for, but I'm saying it again: "the Vikes aren't that great of a team". I think that the Giants 3rd stringers could handle 'em. Plus, Tom Coughlin isn't the kind of guy to roll over and take a loss going into the playoffs (remember the week 17 Giants/Pats game last year?). I say the Giants have some home-field fun and beat down Minnesota for the NY fans.

Saints (8-7) over Panthers (11-4)
If I pick North Carolina here, I negate my NFC South prediction made in the Falcons/Rams pick. The Saints are a damn fine team at home (shaky on the road), so I'm not going too far out on a limb with this one.

Steelers (11-4) over Browns (4-11)
This is Romeo Crenell's last game as coach of the Browns. Trust me, he'll be out before the clock strikes '12' on New Year's Eve.

Buccaneers (9-6) over Raiders (4-11)
Okay even my suspension of disbelief goes only so far. I can see the Bears winning, I can see the Cowboys losing at Philly, but I just cant see the Bucs losing at home to the Raiders. The Bears aren't getting into the playoffs with this wild card slot. Then again, I didn't think that the Raiders had a prayer against the Texans last week, so...

Bears (8-6) over Texans (7-8)
Is there anything that I'm missing here? I'm racking my brain to find any single reason for the Texans to play full-out this week. They napped last week against the Raiders and got beat, and they have even less to play for this week. The only other time these 2 teams played was back in 2004 and the Texans won, so there's no grudge. I think that Chicago has the tenacity to get a win when it really matters. Maybe I'm missing something, but, if so, I can't see it.
Postgame: Football is gay.

Late Sunday Games:
49ers (6-9) over Redskins (8-7)
The one week I pick against the Skins they go out and kill Philly's playoff hopes. That was so sweet. I enjoyed that so much last week that I'm picking against them again this week just for the hell of it.
Oh, and I'm saying it now: At this time next year, the 49ers will be in the playoffs - Mark my words.

Ravens (10-5) over Jaguars (5-10)
This game has "TRAP" written all over it. If Baltimore looks past this game, they could be watching the playoffs from Porters.

Jets (9-6) over Dolphins (10-5)
I really wanted to see the Jets make the playoffs this year just to piss-off every Packer fan. They need a win here and a New England loss to get in - Ain't gonna happen, but I'm holding out the slightest hope and picking 'em here just in case. Plus, I really can't stomach any feel-good bullshit stories about the Fish (which are coming in spades if Miami makes the postseason). Do not want.

Eagles (8-6-1) over Cowboys (9-6)
Can Tony Romo pull a "Romo" in a must-win game to make the playoffs rather in the first playoff game? That question has haunted all prognosticators for the last week or so. In his first season he dropped the ball during the winning field-goal attempt. In his second season he threw an interception into his endzone with less than a minute left on the clock. So I'm wondering that if (for his third season) he can lose a game (at the last minute) that's like a playoff game, but not actually a playoff game. I say he can.
Postgame: Hey Chicago, this could have been your playoff spot if you weren't too busy dropping passes.

Cardinals (8-7) over Seahawks (4-11)
Whichever team gets Arizona Cardinals in the first round of the playoffs are one bunch of lucky-ass motherfuckers. I say we all concur that the Niners are the better NFC West team and just send them to the playoffs this year.

Sunday Night Game:
Chargers (7-8) over Broncos (8-7)
I used to like the Broncos when Jake Plummer was the QB. That organization killed any goodwill I might have felt when they axed Plummer for uber-douche Jay Cutler back in 2006. They lost 2 of the last 3 games in '06 to finish 9 & 7 to just miss the playoffs. Cutler has maintained that losing record ever since (17-19). If they lose this game that QB-switch decision will go down as one of the all-time worst in NFL history.
If Ed Hochuli hadn't handed the game to Denver back in week 2, this game would be significantly less interesting. Now the winner goes on, the loser goes home empty-handed.
===

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

I hate the Packers

2008-12-22T14:45:00.001-06:00

Quick Note

2008-12-22T09:04:00.002-06:00

The Bears offense, with rookie phenom Forte and poised QB Orton, rank 26th in the league out of 32 teams. The Bears defense, with it's new break-but-sometimes-bend philosophy, is ranked 14th overall. Doesn't that seem backwards given the way both units have looked this year?

The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks

2008-12-17T16:54:00.013-06:00

I'm screwed. There's no way I'm gonna hit my goal of .667% accuracy this season unless I only have 2 bad picks in the next 2 weeks - Ain't gonna happen. So now I'm just having some fun and going crazy with the picks this week - A lot of heart, very little brain.
I'm only picking 2 home teams to win this week (and 14 teams to win on the road). I may be screwed, but at least I'm having a blast.
Let's see how this works.

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 140/83/1

Thursday Night Game:
Colts (10-4) over Jaguars (5-9)
Indy can clinch a playoff spot with a win here, and nothing would make the sullen Jags happier than throwing a wrench in their divisional rivals' postseason plans. That being said, I think that Indy has the strength to win on the road and keep their playoff aspirations from being decided in next week's match-up with the 12 & 2 Titans.

Saturday Night Game:
Ravens (9-5) over Cowboys (9-5)
Hoo-fucking-Ha! This is gonna be interesting. This looks to be the final game at Texas Stadium, but it's gonna be a sour send-off for the home crowd. The 'Boys are careening straight into a brick wall heading up against the second-ranked defense in the NFL.
Remember the Alamo? They lost.
Postgame: As far as I can tell, I'm the only motherfucker who sincerely believed the Ravens could win this one - Bite me world.

Early Sunday Games:
Bengals (2-11-1) over Browns (4-10)
The Browns are decimated three deep at this point in the season, and Cincy has been getting an 'A' for effort lately. I don't like this pick one bit, and have very little faith in it, but I have to call for a Bengals win on the road.

Saints (7-7) over Lions (0-14)
A lot of prognosticators are picking the Lions to get their first win here, and I don't blame 'em one bit. The Saints are done, and the Lions have been gnashing and clawing hard to avoid going down as the worst team in NFL history. I just don't see New Orleans letting them off the hook merely as a good will gesture - They might be Saints, but they're not Jesus.

Steelers (11-3) over Titans (12-2)
Here's the AFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are on a huge up-swing and the Titans are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the Tennessee DL. I think that the Titans would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.

Dolphins (9-5) over Chiefs (2-12)
Here's my fire-forged-iron-clad-double-tough-steel-trap^® lock of the week. Watch it be wrong, and me have an NFL induced embolism.

49ers (5-9) over Rams (2-12)
In Greek mythology Chronos served as the personification of time. He was imagined as an incorporeal god, serpentine in form, with three heads—that of a man, a bull, and a lion. He and his consort, serpentine Ananke (Inevitability), circled the primal world-egg in their coils and split it apart to form the ordered universe of earth, sea and sky.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with this game, but is infinitely more interesting than any insight I might have into this crap-match.

Patriots (9-5) over Cardinals (8-6)
This is the first home-team that I've picked to win this week. I'm so fucking doomed.

Chargers (6-8) over Buccaneers (9-5)
Yeah, I'm really going out on a limb with this one, but the Chargers still believe that they can win out and clinch the AFC West with 2 more Denver losses. I'm picking the Chargers to win and the Broncos to lose this week in hopes of a winner-takes-all throw-down between those two next week in San Diego. Plus, Tampa is beat-to-hell right now - Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Late Sunday Picks:
Jets (9-5) over Seahawks (3-11)
The Jets can't lose every single west-coast game this year. Can they? I just wanna see Brett make it deep into the playoffs this year and then watch the Packers organization explode in the offseason.

Texans (7-7) over Raiders (3-11)
Remember when the Raiders were the bad-asses of the NFL? Every team got the fear when those unruly bastards came up on their schedules - It was like opening up the front door and coming eye-to-eye with an axe-murderer. I say that the Raiders go retro this week and hack-up the Texans for next week's match-up in Chicago.

Bills (6-8) over Broncos (8-6)
Am I the only one who still thinks that the Broncos are a huge sham? The Williams haven't inspired confidence as of late, but still seem light-years ahead of any of the west-coast teams.

Eagles (8-5-1) over Redskins (7-7)
I still want to pick the Skins in this one, but I've learned my lesson after they've dumped 5 of their last 6 games. The Eagles still have the faintest hopes of grasping at a playoff spot - The Skins are hopeless. I just wish that the Washington would put in Colt Brennan so we can see how he functions in a real NFL game.

Falcons (9-5) over Vikings (9-5)
The Falcons have to win this one just so Chicago can lose the NFC North crown on their own against the Texans next week. We don't need any damned charity, we can fuck everything up on our own just fine, thank you very much.

Sunday Night Game:
Panthers (11-3) over Giants (11-3)
I'm just gonna crib from the previous Steelers/Titans match and swap out the pertinent info:
Here's the NFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Panthers are on a huge up-swing and the Giants are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the New York DL. I think that the Giants would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.

Monday Night Game:
Bears (8-6) over Packers (5-9)
No team would rather end Chicago's season early than the Pack, but Lovie knows that this one is a MUST WIN (bold all-caps).
If the Bears get bitched by the Packers twice in one season, and have the north-woodsers kill the season. Lovie Smith is going to transmogrify into Dusty Baker in the collective conscience of Chicago fandom skippy-quick. One loss here, and the next thing you know, he's gonna be basted in tar, dipped in feathers, and ridden out on a rail to Cincinnati. Metaphorically, of course (since everyone knows that Cincinnati only exists in the minds of Ohioans).
---

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Pet Peavy

2008-12-11T21:43:00.001-06:00

The Peavy deal is dead and I for one say…meh.

I like Jake Peavy and think he is as accomplished as any of the current Cubs starters. But is he worth losing the six players the Cubs might’ve lost in the two or three team deal? On paper, based on the numbers we know, many argued that the Cubs would have the most dominant rotation in the BL with Peavy as their number 1.

But they don’t play the games on paper. Games are played on a field and that is sort of my point.

Don’t be confused, I am not about to argue that Wrigley is too much of a hitter friendly park for Peavy and fly balls will be leaving the yard left and right on this guy. But after considering Jake Peavy’s Home and Away splits in 2008, he has an impressive 1.74 ERA @ sea level in SanDiego. But get Peavy on the road and his ERA jumps up to 4.28. Opponents hit 58 points higher against him when he dons the road uniform. This translated into only one fewer win on the road last year, but the Padres hit pretty well for Peavy on the road last year.

The Padres hitters were probably thrilled to be away from their home turf where the curveball bites more and the balls don’t travel quite as far…

At Wrigley and throughout the NL CENTRAL parks Peavy would not enjoy the advantages he had for more than half of his starts last year.

I like Peavy. I think the Cub rotation could be improved with his acquisition. But, I am not sure that he was worth all Towers wanted for him. I am fairly sure that as a Cub he would not have the same production as he did in SD. This is not because of any curse…just part of the telling numbers of baseball.

Peavy or no, the Cubs should be the favorite to win the NL Central again. Maybe they should pick up (or is it cowboy up) Derrick Lowe just so they don’t have to face his ass in October.

Just a thought…

The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks

2008-12-10T17:37:00.008-06:00

Fucking gotta love those Bears. They're gonna fucking kill me, but holy shit, what a game. After Thursday, the rest of this week is gravy.
Let's ladle it on.

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 130/77/1

Thursday Night Game:
Bears (7-6) over Saints (7-6)
The one thing that struck me recently is that I suddenly realized that I haven't enjoyed watching Bears games since week 3 of this season when they lost the lead within the 2 minute-warning to lose their second game in a row. Every game since then has had an ominous cloud hanging over the field.
I remember a few years ago (in the first Orton era) when if the Bears were behind by 14 going into the 4th quarter, I was hopeful. Now if they have a lead of 14 going into the 4th, I feel apprehensive. Hell, last fucking week I was convinced that were were going to give up a 17 point lead in the final quarter. It never happened, but I don't think that I'm the only PTSD Bears fan out there.
Chicago really needs to win out to give the franchise its swagger back - It either starts here, or ends here. Period. End.

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (8-5) over Buccaneers (9-4)
Tampa got hit hard last week at Carolina. It wasn't a knock-out, but it will take them a couple of weeks to get back on their feet. I like Atlanta's chances against the punch-drunk pirates.

Redskins (7-6) over Bengals (1-11-1)
My Skins really need a win here, and will get it if they can stop the explosive running power of Cedric Benson (who, with a good game here, might actually finish this season with positive running yardage). Also, look for Ocho Cinco to try and sneak over to the Skins bench during the game. He's hoping that nobody will notice if he suits up in burgundy and gold for the second half.
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, you bums.

Seahawks (2-11) over Rams (2-11)
Nofuckingbody wants to watch this turd-fest. Even the St. Louis FOX affiliate switched over to the Falcons -vs- Bucs game. Really - Here's the distribution MAP.

Dolphins (8-5) over 49ers (5-8)
After last week's HUGE upset of the Jets, it looks like Samurai Mike is gonna hold on to his coaching job in the offseason. If he can finagle another win here, that position will be guaranteed.

Jets (8-5) over Bills (6-7)
Those damned Bills. It looked like they were gonna be a contender this year, and then the wheels fell right the fuck off of the organization. The Jets really need a win here to end their 2 game slide and rack up another divisional win. New York can't afford to lose this one, I see 'em pulling a win on the home-front.

Colts (9-4) over Lions (0-14)
How excited is everybody at the prospect of the Lions going 0 & 16? I'm fucking jazzed. Here's their last 3: at Indy, vs. New Orleans, & at Green Bay. It's gonna happen, people!

Chargers (5-8) over Chiefs (2-11)
Back in week 10, I promised that I would pick Kansas Shitty in this game - I totally lied.

Packers (5-8) over Jaguars (4-9)
I'm tempted to pick the Jags at home in this march of the damned, but they looked so terrible against the Bears that I'm giving Green Bay the benefit of the doubt.

Titans (12-1) over Texans (6-7)
The Texicans are en fuego right now. I'd love to pick 'em to upset, but the Titans have to maintain a strong front going into the playoffs.

Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals (8-5) over Vikings (8-5)
I never thought I'd be excited about sitting down to watch a Vikes/Cards game, but here we are. I'm gonna be glued-down for this one. Go Arizona!

Panthers (10-3) over Broncos (8-5)
When is the AFC West going to go away and stop wasting our time? Dealing with these sucks week in and week out is like being stuck next to a bum at the bus stop. He keeps talking to you, begging for money, and not making one lick of sense, but there's really nothing you can do but wait and weather the storm until the bus comes or he gives up and wanders off to defecate behind the 7-11 dumpster.

Ravens (9-4) over Steelers (10-3)
Man, this is gonna be one hell of a game. I'm hoping that the Cards throw down a blow-out on the Vikes so that I can switch to this game at half-time. This one is gonna be brutal. I like the Purple Birds at home, but just barely.

Patriots (8-5) over Raiders (3-10)
Here's another fucking AFC West team wasting our time (and New England's).

Sunday Night Game:
Giants (11-2) over Cowboys (8-5)
Terrell Owens gets a bad rap for being a "me first" player, and he's gotten slammed in the press for his new feud with Saint Romo. Say what you want, but I think that in the video clip (below) he makes an articulate, well thought out arguement for getting more passes in the upcoming weeks.
Here it is, Terrell Owens in his own words:

Monday Night Game:
Eagles (7-5-1) over Browns (4-9)
Lets face it, Philly isn't getting into the playoffs this year (that tie really did hurt 'em), but they're playing with a ferocity. I feel bad for anyone coming up against them for the rest of this season.
---

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Kid K Sera Sera

2008-12-09T21:40:00.006-06:00

Pending the results of a physical it looks as if Kerry Wood will be a Cleveland Indian as early as tomorrow.

Maybe he and Joe Borowski can swap Larry Rothschild-hands-on-hips-while-crop-dusting-during-pregame-warm-up stories?

Who knows, if he works hard over the winter, Middle Aged K could strike out 20 batters in a single season.

Whatever will be will be, but I hope what will be will be Carlos Quentin taking the "good" half of Broke Arm Mountain deep into the Cleveland night for a few late-inning WhiteSOX winners next summer.

Look at What they Did to My Field

2008-12-08T12:43:00.002-06:00

Can it be that the turf on the New & Improved Soldier Field is being maligned as much as the old bumpy, greentop from the Vet?

If you are one of those folks that believe Tom Waddle (who actually played on that field) or Dan Dickdorf from the sorry-ass CBS team...there is only one solution to this problem.

Da Bears need to reach out to Da Sodfather.

The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks

2008-12-04T16:45:00.009-06:00

Hey week 13, fucking eat it. You single-handedly killed my love of football.
I'm gonna keep doing these picks, but I'm not gonna like it.

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 119/72/1

Thursday Night Game:
Chargers (4-8) over Raiders (3-9)
Both of these teams have proven that there's no game that they can't manage to lose. I'm just gonna pick the home-team and hope that I'm wrong.

Early Sunday Games:
Bears (6-6) over Jaguars (4-8)
The Bears have still got a really good shot at winning the NFC North. The final 4 games are against teams without winning records, whereas the Vikings have a much tougher schedule and are about to lose the Williams sisters going into the home-stretch. I'm picking the Bears to win the division, and then get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.

Vikings (7-5) over Lions (0-12)
Have fun in this one, Minneapolis. This is your last win of the season.

Packers (5-7) over Texans (5-7)
The Pack has a really good shot of winning out this season (if they can win against the Bears at Soldier Field on the 22nd). As far as I'm concerned, the NFC North is still wide-open. All bets are off of the table.
Postgame: Look on the bright side, Green Bay; you'll have plenty of opportunities to watch Brett Favre in playoff games this year.

Titans (11-1) over Browns (4-8)
It's too early for Tennessee to take a nap here. They've got a good hold on homefield-throughout, but could lose it to the Steelers if they go into hibernation for the last 4 weeks.

Colts (8-4) over Bengals (1-10-1)
Chad (Ocho Cinco) Johnson is gonna look damn fine in a Redskins jersey next season.

Falcons (8-4) over Saints (6-6)
I really want to pick the Saints to win at home here, but I keep getting burned whenever I put my faith in New Orleans.
Postgame: ...and burned when I pick against 'em. Stupid voodoo.

Giants (11-1) over Eagles (6-5-1)
The problem with Philly is that they're so god-damned erratic that you have no idea which team is gonna show up from week to week. That doesn't really matter this week - The Giants are in full domination mode.

Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (7-5) over Chiefs (2-10)
The Broncos are taking their dear sweet time in limping into the playoffs. It's pretty damned sad that the Chargers still have a (small) shot at winning this division. The Broncos need to win this gimme game if they want to sleep soundly any time before January.

Dolphins (7-5) over Bills (6-6)
Hello, Canada! Who's bright idea was it to do a late-season dome game up in Toronto against the Dolphins? Way to negate your biggest advantage in a "home" game. If this was in Ralph Wilson Stadium, I'd pick the Bills, but Since it's in the Rogers Centre Dome, I'm going with the Fish.

Jets (8-4) over 49ers (4-8)
This has the potential of being the Jets' biggest embarrassment of the season. The Niners are clicking at home and are setting their sights on grounding the high-flying Jets. New York has to keep focus, or risk being written-off going into the playoffs.
Postgame: Told 'ya.

Patriots (7-5) over Seahawks (2-10)
Another good AFC East team visiting another blowful NFC West team (see above). Same rules apply.

Cardinals (7-5) over Rams (2-10)
It looks like the Cards have the NFC West division locked-down. They'll make great fodder for one of the NFC wild-card teams this year.

Steelers (9-3) over Cowboys (8-4)
I'm gonna be front & center for this one Sunday afternoon. This should be a great game and could easily go either way. I'm giving Pitttsburgh the advantage on homefield, where the weather should be a huge advantage.

Sunday Night Game:
Ravens (8-4) over Redskins (7-5)
If the Skins can get a win here, I think that they'll be a lock for a playoff spot. If they lose here, they're in real trouble. I'm pulling hard for my Skins in this one, but calling it like I see it.

Monday Night Game:
Buccaneers (9-3) over Panthers (9-3)
I have no idea why I'm picking the Bucs in this coin-toss. Usually, I just go with the home team in situations like this, but (for some reason) I think that Tampa has the edge here.
---

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Who Else Can I Root For?

2008-12-01T11:57:00.002-06:00

If it was at least a close game last night I wouldn't be thinking this stuff, but what's the point of hoping for a playoff berth? This is NOT a superbowl team. I am convinced now more than ever that the coaches suck. I am also convinced that we should have dealt Devin Hester after last season, although I understand why we didn't.

I remember back in the 2005 season that I wasn't totally convinced by the Bears. This was the "bend but don't break" defense that worked properly and a functional running game with Thomas Jones. More importantly, however, was the feeling by everyone in the organization that they were better than mediocre. Getting to the superbowl proved that, but that's where they stalled out.

Since then, they have sucked. So, here's my quick assessment of a number of individuals:

1. Lovie Smith - people say he's more animated away from the media. I don't buy it. Also, on the field of play, he appears to make bad decisions. I'm not sold on him as the long-term coach of the Bears - especially with the current roster.

2. Bob Babich - haven't seen one good thing since he's been at the helm, and his superstars are healthy again. Time to make a switch.

3. Ron Turner - have never been a fan, the four-down stall on the goal line last night (at MN) just proved that he doesn't understand the strengths and weaknesses of his own offense, and it's not like he just got here. Time to make a switch.

4. Brian Urlacher - needs to be heard or something. Not sure why he appears to have been a baby for the past few years, but he only has flashes of greatness in that time. He's here, so get a coordinator that will feature him.

5. Lance Briggs - a guy I bagged when he held out as not being worth it while we still have Urlacher. I was 100% wrong. Of all the guys that got paid, he's still hitting dudes like he has something to prove.

6. Mike Brown - great player when he's healthy, although he seems older this year.

7. Nate Vasher - where did "the Interceptor" disappear to? This guy kind of sucks.

8. Charles Tillman - still a great corner, but I think he's the barometer for the entire defense. And his play and facial expressions are exaspirated.

9. Matt Forte - I feel sorry for him because he's one of the few players on the field that doesn't seem to care about extracurriculars. He just wants to play the game. The fact that he didn't hold out for more money kind of proves it. Reminds me of a young Brian Urlacher.

10. Kyle Orton - take that, Rex bashers! He's not that good, either. Or maybe it has nothing to do with the QB at all. Maybe the coordinator, offensive line, and receivers also play into the equation. He's definitely made strides this year, but it all went out the window last night.

11. Devin Hester - it's too late now, he's part of the team and he's getting paid. Abysmal numbers this year.

12. Adrian Peterson - why did we get Kevin Jones? He wasn't that good in Detroit, and our AP fights harder for yards.

13. Greg Olsen - I had such high hopes here, but is he just another Jeremy Shockey? (The Giants won the superbowl with Shockey on the sidelines.)

I think that's it. So, where do we go from here?

New coaches - I say we put the full-court press on a Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer. The premier name would hopefully garner some control and create a more solid, long-term success. Let them bring in coordinators of their choosing. Lovie seems to have lost this team, and I do not want to sit through more attrition, just waiting for contracts to end.

New receivers - in the short term, I have given up on our current group. Lloyd looked like he could break out early in the year, but he has a glass jaw, apparently. Forte is the only sure thing receiver (maybe Des Clark) and that is just sad.

New QB - I don't care if we keep Orton, but maybe the McNabb era can get started. I don't think he's done winning, and there's a shortage in the league. Let McNabb and Orton battle it out in the pre-season.

Defense - I would hope that good recruiting would injury-proof some of these positions and a new coordinator would light a fire under the current starters. Make Urlacher work a little.

That's a lot to do in a year.

The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks

2008-11-26T18:08:00.011-06:00

It's a good thing that Chicago is playing a night game tomorrow, because Gundy and I are watching the first two games at Quenchers Saloon and participating in their 28th annual European Beer Tour.
Y'all are welcome to join us. If you dare.

I just hope that I can get enough espresso down my throat to be lucid for the Bears kickoff. On second thought, I may be better off staying drunk for that one.

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 110/65/1

Thanksgiving Early Game:
Titans(10-1) over Lions (0-11)
If the Titans hadn't lost last week, I'd pick the Lions to win this miracle game. It's always the crappiest teams that break huge winning streaks, and they don't get any crappier than Detroit. Anyway, the Jets upended the Titans last week and deprived me of my "upset of the century lock of the week". Way to ruin everything, Brett.
Half-Time Report: Holy Shit, the only thing more pathetically embarrassing than the Lions' play was that turd of a half-time show. If Marinelli has one ounce of dignity in his body, he'll come straight out of the locker room and forfeit this abortion.

Thanksgiving Late Game:
Cowboys (7-4) over Seahawks (2-9)
I'm hoping that the Shawks can get their heads out of their asses and deal a crippling loss to the mighty Cowboys. That being said, there's a better chance that Stephen Hawking will win next season's 'Dancing With the Stars" competition. I can dream.

Thanksgiving Night Game:
Cardinals (7-4) over Eagles (5-5)
This has the potential to be a HUGE game. The Eagles need a decisive win here to quell the native uprising (and save their jobs for another week), whereas the Cards are sitting pretty and almost have a playoff berth locked down. I really want to pick the Eagles in this one, but have a feeling that they'll find a way to lose.

Early Sunday Games:
Bills (6-5) over 49ers (3-8)
I'm hoping that Samurai Mike is enjoying his stint as an NFL head coach. By my count, he only has 5 games left in that capacity.

Ravens (7-4) over Bengals (1-9)
The Ravens are the better overall team, but the Bengals have the explosive running power of CEDRIC BENSON. The Bengals will be lucky to get out of this one with any positive running yardage.

Colts (7-4) over Browns (4-7)
Romeo Crennel is on his dying breath over in Steamer-Town. Too bad, he seems like a nice guy - Shit coach, but nice guy.

Panthers (8-3) over Packers (5-6)
I'm deluding myself in thinking that the Panthers are good enough to get a win up in Green Bay, but I'm sticking with hope over logic.

Dolphins (6-5) over Rams (2-9)
The Rams are a great team on paper, but last week's suck-fest against the Bears just shows how little stats matter in real games. I'm just hoping that Mr. Kraftwerk himself (Rock Berlin) continues on as the Rams QB, or at the very least gets to do a cabaret act at half-time.

Saints (6-5) over Buccaneers (8-3)
Here's another stupid pick. I'm still amazed at how unbelievably great the Saints looked last week against the Pack. I'm buying into the sucker's bet that they can keep that up for 2 weeks in a row.

Giants (10-1) over Redskins (7-4)
I'm making way too many "heart" picks this week to go with my Skins in this one. I'm picking NY and rooting Washington.

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (4-7) over Falcons (7-4)
Because San Diego can't lose every game to a last-minute field-goal.

Steelers (8-3) over Patriots (7-4)
Aaaaaaaargh! The Chicago TV market is getting the stupid Jets-Broncos game instead of this one. It's bad enough that we get Green Bay-Carolina instead of New York Washington, but this horse-shit is just rubbing salt into the wound.

Jets (8-3) over Broncos (6-5)
The Jets are gonna win. There, I just freed up 3 hours of your Sunday afternoon to follow more interesting pursuits (like cleaning the leaves out of your gutters).

Raiders (3-8) over Chiefs (1-10)
I still say that the Chiefs are an overall worse team than the Detroit Lions. How Tony Dungy is scamming an NFL franchise out of real folding money as a head coach is way beyond my comprehension. After his coaching career ends (in 4 weeks or so) he should cash in on his unparalleled ability to suck and take out a lease on a dumpster behind the local porno theatre.

Sunday Night Game:
Bears (6-5) over Vikings (6-5)
I might be deluded by fandom, but I can't see how the Vikings are a better team than the Bears. We beat 'em back in week 7, but nobody seems to be giving Chicago a shot in this one.
True, the Vikings really need the win here to have a shot at the NFC North title, but the Bears need a win here almost as bad. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if the Bears crapped out here, but I'm definitely not expecting it. This one's for a good share of the marbles, boys - Don't shit the bed.
Postgame: They shit the bed. Shit the bed HUGE.

Monday Night Game:
Texans (4-7) over Jaguars (4-7)
The Jags are done for the year - Things could be worse, the Texans have been done since they were awarded the franchise. I see the joke-squad getting a mercy-win on the home-turf.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN