The Liar's NFL Week 6 Picks

Last Sunday at 4PM, I was sitting pretty at 7 & 1. Then in the final six games it all fell apart - 2 & 4. I haven 't seen a second-half collapse like that since Grossman was behind center. Yeesh.
Anyway, This is a HUGE rock & roll weekend with Riot Fest, so I'm a bit preoccupied. Here's hoping that I get a few picks right this week before I'm benched and replaced by the neck-beard.

Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 44/30

Early Sunday Games:
Colts (2-2) over Ravens (2-2)
Man, the Clots are sucking it lately. To make matters worse, Bal'mer is gonna lay down another load of hurt down on an already shaky Indy offense. That being said, I think that Indy is a lot better than they're showing right now, and should be able to limp away with a win here.

Vikings (2-3) over Lions (0-4)
I've been tempted to pick every winless team this week. Week six is do-or die time, and all jobs are on the line. Rod Marinelli is hanging onto his coaching gig by his fingernails, and he's gonna come out swinging in this one. This one's rife for an upset, but I just don't think that the Motor City Kitties have what it takes to close the deal.

Saints (2-3) over Raiders (1-3)
Oi!, New Orleans. Fuck You.
You really screwed me on that STUPID loss to the Vikes last Monday. That was fucking terrible, you really should be ashamed. As long as I live I'm never gonna pick you to win another game, so help me God. And that's why I'm picking the Raide... Raiders?!? Um, nevermind.

Jets (2-2) over Bengals (0-5)
The Bengals have been playing their little hearts out lately, but still can't get a win. I don't see 'em getting their first victory this week, but it really is their best shot until week 8.

Bears (3-2) over Falcons (3-2)
This game makes me nervous. The Bears are playing great, but Atlanta is playing way better than they should be this year. Did you see the way they schooled the Packers last week (which I called, by the way)? It was brutal. This is exactly the kind of loss that seems to send the Bears into a tailspin every year. I broke the slump last week, and am keeping the faith this week.
Go Bears!
Postgame: Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!!!!

Panthers (4-1) over Buccaneers (3-2)
It's a showdown between the two fucking teams that eeked out wins over the Bears this season. Bastards. I hope you both lose.

Redskins (4-1) over Rams (0-4)
Hey, DC; TRAP GAME!!!
The Skins have a nasty habit of looking past the easy games and getting embarrassed when they're riding high. This is a classic "Washington gets pantsed by a team they should beat like a incontinent dog" game. WATCH OUT!

Dolphins (2-2) over Texans (0-4)
Hey, It's the showdown of the gayest names/helmets in the NFL! The Texans' desperation is palpable at this point - They're better than an 0 & 4 team, but just can't seem to squeeze out a win. They really need to grab a victory on the homefield, but I think that the Fish have turned the corner and are ready to make a move up to mediocrity.

Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (4-1) over Jaguars (2-3)
Every week I pick the Broncos to lose and get screwed. Every week I pick the Jags to win and get screwed. I think I see a pattern emerging. Watch this pick be wrong, then watch my head explode.

Eagles (2-3) over 49ers (2-3)
Whenever Westbrook is out, Philly sucks. Luckily for the Beagles, San Fran is struggling also. Look for Martz to open this one up - Plenty 'o' long passes and plenty 'o' turnovers. I see the Niners pulling out all the shots, but coming up just short.

Packers (2-3) over Seahawks (1-3)
'Shawks really need a win here before going on an extended road-trip over the next four weeks. I picked the Pack first, but then changed my mind when I realized the implications of a Seattle loss, and then changed it back when I realized that EdP would paint me as a flip-flopper in a series of negative attack ads if I did so.

Cowboys (4-1) over Cardinals (3-2)
Interesting tidbit: Before landing with the Rams, Kurt Warner was bagging groceries and playing arena-league ball in DesMoines. He really wanted to try out for the Bears in 1997, but couldn't even get through the front door. Two years later he led the Rams to a Super Bowl victory. Since Chicago passed, they've had 15 different starting QBs, and zero Super Bowl victories. Oh, well.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (3-1) over Chargers (2-3)
You lose one fucking regular-season game in the last year and a half, and everyone breaks their necks trying to jump off of the bandwagon. If the Pats have issues right now, then the Chargers have volumes.

Monday Night Game:
Giants (4-0) over Browns (1-3)
I really miss the days when the Giants were a huge joke and the couple of months last year when the Browns weren't.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN