Wednesday, December 26, 2007

A Christmas Tradition

Hearing that Bulls’ head coach Scott Skiles was fired on Christmas Eve took me back to Christmases of yore…

Our what?

Ok, it actually only took me back to Christmas 2001 when Jerry Krause’s fishing buddy Tim Floyd “resigned” after three plus years of sucking royal dick.

Oh, Jerry Krause isn’t royalty? I thought he was Lord Lard Ass or some shit like that.

There’s an image by the way…Krause “scouting” the talent in Iowa and dipping his fishing pole into Floyd’s brown Hawkeye.

That level of suck-assedness was all in the past, or so I thought.

Nine and sixteen? Nine and sixteen?…after they grabbed their ankles and took what the flaccid Rockets had for them on Saturday I thought of that great line from Bull Durham: “How did we ever win nine?”

I don’t think nine was the number of wins in the film but the image should be clear.

The Bulls quit, they knew how to quit, there wasn’t a single ounce of dogged, gay cowboy determinism in the lot of them and now they have to live with that BULLshit.

I love Pax, but he will have to live with his decision to spend all that money on Tyson Chandler’s defense, only to free himself from that to spend an even more ridiculous sum of money for Ben Wallace’s defense. No NBA franchise should ever have to spend top free-agent money for hustle and muscle. It just doesn’t make sense. That’s what the dumbass, lunch bucket players are for (sorry Chris B).

When signing a free-agent basketball GMs should consider this thought experiment…

“How would my team play if I cloned four more of these guys and put them on the court together?”

Now imagine a team of 5 KG’s vs. 5 Ben Wallace’s. No one could score on Team Wallace, although they’d be pretty good looking. (Technically KG was acquired via trade rather than free-agency feel free to insert Kobe or any other potential NBA free-agent into my thought experiment)

I loved to say that the head coach of the Bulls once got in a fight with Shaq – WHEN THEY WERE TEAMMATES! I always hoped Skiles would take on Antoine Walker of the Miami Heat (or formerly of the Miami Heat – I refuse to google a second or third tier NBA player to see where he is currently playing).

All this being said, I don’t feel too bad for Scott Skiles. After all on Christmas the Bulls decided to give him 7 mildo to not work. You know some of my repair crew doesn’t seem to want to listen to me any more, they’ve tuned me out. One might say they quit on me. Maybe I need to take a seven million dollar severance package and step aside…


…for the good of the team.

2 comments:

bigsoda said...

Yeah, Skiles got off easy. He doesn't have to stick around and see the suckdom that will ensue. Doing nothing last off-season was the big mistake. Pax will get his comeuppance.

edP said...

Don't tell me he plans on signing the corpse of Booth Tarkington! He's already got the corpse of Ben Wallace out there.