The Liar's NFL Week 2 Picks

A lot of surprises last week, kids. It makes for great television and crappy records. The damnedest thing is that most of my crazy long-shot picks went through, and my sure thing picks floundered. That's football - Here's hoping that the interesting times keep on coming. I'd gladly sacrifice a winning record for 15 more weeks of break-neck (break-knee) football. Huzzah!

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 9/7

Early Sunday Games:
Packers (1-0) over Lions (0-1)
I got every NFC North pick wrong last week. Yikes.
If the Lions couldn't win against the Falcons last week, I don't know who they can beat... Well, they have the 49ers next week, but that's the only game I'd pick 'em in all season.

Chiefs (0-1) over Raiders (0-1)
The Germans call this one "Das Suckenfest". This game could very well decide the worst team in the NFL right now. I'm just picking the home team and glad that I have something else to watch.

Giants (1-0) over Rams (0-1)
I'm really hoping that the Rams somehow pull off this win. It ain't gonna happen, but would cause every single one of the professional football prognosticators heads to collectively explode, and that's good television right there.

Colts (0-1) over Vikings (0-1)
I'm sooo glad that my Bears got the Colts in week one - The Chicago Ursines played one hell of a game, but P. Manning was only 75% in that game. I have a feeling that they're gonna get their shit together quick and pull even this week.

Titans (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
The Titans are about 80% better without the suicidal wondertard behind center - Really. The Bungles couldn't even beat the fucking Ravens last week. This one's a no-brainer.

Redskins (0-1) over Saints (1-0)
Granted, I'm a Skins fan and often pick 'em when I really shouldn't, but I truly believe that they have the edge in this one. They're gonna need to pick up some wins outside their NFC North division (Eagles, Giants, Cowboys) if they want to make the playoffs again this year - This is a prime "need to win" game for Washington.

Bears (1-0) over Panthers (1-0)
Both of these teams slayed giants (of the non-NY variety) last week. The Panthers are getting accolades and the Bears are getting dismissed as a fluke. My belief is that the Colts would have beat the hell out of the Chargers or the Panthers last week. Here's Chicago's chance to prove me right. Nonetheless, this should be one HARD-NOSED game - I can't wait.

Bills (1-0) over Jaguars (0-1)
The Jags managed to knock out Tenesee's starting QB last week (which automatically made the Titans twice as good), Then they lost. The Bills managed to get a win over the neuvo-suck Seahawks. I'm going with Buffalo, but I don't have any rational explanation as to why.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks (0-1) over 49ers (0-1)
I just said that the Shawks are gawd-awful now, right? Well, they're still better than the 49ers. I hope.

Buccaneers (0-1) over Falcons (1-0)
I really want to pick the Falcons, but the Bucs are dumping Garcia for... drumroll please... wait for it... B-R-I-A-N G-R-I-E-S-E!!!
Oh shit; is it too late to change my pick?

Jets (1-0) over Patriots (1-0)
Matt Cassel (the New Pats QB) hasn't started in a football game since 1999 (in High School). Brett Favre (the New Jets QB) holds the record for most consecutive starts as an NFL quarterback at 254 (276 including playoffs).
Um... I think I'll go with New York on this one.

Dolphins (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)
I'm picking against reason on this one, but I can't help but wonder which is the greater accomplishment; losing to Brett Favre & the Jets by 6 points with 10 seconds left on the clock or scoring a gimme win over the pathetic 49ers?

Chargers (0-1) over Broncos (1-0)
I'd love for the Broncos to win this one, but can they? Check the pick.

Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Pittsburgh is looking more and more like the AFC Super Bowl pick for this season. The Browns are a good team, but have faced possibly the two best teams in the NFL right out of the gate.

Monday Night Games:
Cowboys (1-0) over Eagles (1-0)
Hey, Philly, running up a 35 point surplus against the St Louis Rams is like winning a prize-fight against Stephen Hawking. If you want any respect, you're gonna have to beat a good team - Here's your chance.

Texans (0-1) over Ravens (1-0) - POSTPONED
Best Case Scenario: Hurricane Ike keeps blowing this turd right off of the schedule.
Update: This game got blown back to November 9th.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN