If it was at least a close game last night I wouldn't be thinking this stuff, but what's the point of hoping for a playoff berth? This is NOT a superbowl team. I am convinced now more than ever that the coaches suck. I am also convinced that we should have dealt Devin Hester after last season, although I understand why we didn't.
I remember back in the 2005 season that I wasn't totally convinced by the Bears. This was the "bend but don't break" defense that worked properly and a functional running game with Thomas Jones. More importantly, however, was the feeling by everyone in the organization that they were better than mediocre. Getting to the superbowl proved that, but that's where they stalled out.
Since then, they have sucked. So, here's my quick assessment of a number of individuals:
1. Lovie Smith - people say he's more animated away from the media. I don't buy it. Also, on the field of play, he appears to make bad decisions. I'm not sold on him as the long-term coach of the Bears - especially with the current roster.
2. Bob Babich - haven't seen one good thing since he's been at the helm, and his superstars are healthy again. Time to make a switch.
3. Ron Turner - have never been a fan, the four-down stall on the goal line last night (at MN) just proved that he doesn't understand the strengths and weaknesses of his own offense, and it's not like he just got here. Time to make a switch.
4. Brian Urlacher - needs to be heard or something. Not sure why he appears to have been a baby for the past few years, but he only has flashes of greatness in that time. He's here, so get a coordinator that will feature him.
5. Lance Briggs - a guy I bagged when he held out as not being worth it while we still have Urlacher. I was 100% wrong. Of all the guys that got paid, he's still hitting dudes like he has something to prove.
6. Mike Brown - great player when he's healthy, although he seems older this year.
7. Nate Vasher - where did "the Interceptor" disappear to? This guy kind of sucks.
8. Charles Tillman - still a great corner, but I think he's the barometer for the entire defense. And his play and facial expressions are exaspirated.
9. Matt Forte - I feel sorry for him because he's one of the few players on the field that doesn't seem to care about extracurriculars. He just wants to play the game. The fact that he didn't hold out for more money kind of proves it. Reminds me of a young Brian Urlacher.
10. Kyle Orton - take that, Rex bashers! He's not that good, either. Or maybe it has nothing to do with the QB at all. Maybe the coordinator, offensive line, and receivers also play into the equation. He's definitely made strides this year, but it all went out the window last night.
11. Devin Hester - it's too late now, he's part of the team and he's getting paid. Abysmal numbers this year.
12. Adrian Peterson - why did we get Kevin Jones? He wasn't that good in Detroit, and our AP fights harder for yards.
13. Greg Olsen - I had such high hopes here, but is he just another Jeremy Shockey? (The Giants won the superbowl with Shockey on the sidelines.)
I think that's it. So, where do we go from here?
New coaches - I say we put the full-court press on a Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer. The premier name would hopefully garner some control and create a more solid, long-term success. Let them bring in coordinators of their choosing. Lovie seems to have lost this team, and I do not want to sit through more attrition, just waiting for contracts to end.
New receivers - in the short term, I have given up on our current group. Lloyd looked like he could break out early in the year, but he has a glass jaw, apparently. Forte is the only sure thing receiver (maybe Des Clark) and that is just sad.
New QB - I don't care if we keep Orton, but maybe the McNabb era can get started. I don't think he's done winning, and there's a shortage in the league. Let McNabb and Orton battle it out in the pre-season.
Defense - I would hope that good recruiting would injury-proof some of these positions and a new coordinator would light a fire under the current starters. Make Urlacher work a little.
That's a lot to do in a year.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks
It's a good thing that Chicago is playing a night game tomorrow, because Gundy and I are watching the first two games at Quenchers Saloon and participating in their 28th annual European Beer Tour.
Y'all are welcome to join us. If you dare.
I just hope that I can get enough espresso down my throat to be lucid for the Bears kickoff. On second thought, I may be better off staying drunk for that one.
Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 110/65/1
Thanksgiving Early Game:
Titans(10-1) over Lions (0-11)
If the Titans hadn't lost last week, I'd pick the Lions to win this miracle game. It's always the crappiest teams that break huge winning streaks, and they don't get any crappier than Detroit. Anyway, the Jets upended the Titans last week and deprived me of my "upset of the century lock of the week". Way to ruin everything, Brett.
Half-Time Report: Holy Shit, the only thing more pathetically embarrassing than the Lions' play was that turd of a half-time show. If Marinelli has one ounce of dignity in his body, he'll come straight out of the locker room and forfeit this abortion.
Thanksgiving Late Game:
Cowboys (7-4) over Seahawks (2-9)
I'm hoping that the Shawks can get their heads out of their asses and deal a crippling loss to the mighty Cowboys. That being said, there's a better chance that Stephen Hawking will win next season's 'Dancing With the Stars" competition. I can dream.
Thanksgiving Night Game:
Cardinals (7-4) over Eagles (5-5)
This has the potential to be a HUGE game. The Eagles need a decisive win here to quell the native uprising (and save their jobs for another week), whereas the Cards are sitting pretty and almost have a playoff berth locked down. I really want to pick the Eagles in this one, but have a feeling that they'll find a way to lose.
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (6-5) over 49ers (3-8)
I'm hoping that Samurai Mike is enjoying his stint as an NFL head coach. By my count, he only has 5 games left in that capacity.
Ravens (7-4) over Bengals (1-9)
The Ravens are the better overall team, but the Bengals have the explosive running power of CEDRIC BENSON. The Bengals will be lucky to get out of this one with any positive running yardage.
Colts (7-4) over Browns (4-7)
Romeo Crennel is on his dying breath over in Steamer-Town. Too bad, he seems like a nice guy - Shit coach, but nice guy.
Panthers (8-3) over Packers (5-6)
I'm deluding myself in thinking that the Panthers are good enough to get a win up in Green Bay, but I'm sticking with hope over logic.
Dolphins (6-5) over Rams (2-9)
The Rams are a great team on paper, but last week's suck-fest against the Bears just shows how little stats matter in real games. I'm just hoping that Mr. Kraftwerk himself (Rock Berlin) continues on as the Rams QB, or at the very least gets to do a cabaret act at half-time.
Saints (6-5) over Buccaneers (8-3)
Here's another stupid pick. I'm still amazed at how unbelievably great the Saints looked last week against the Pack. I'm buying into the sucker's bet that they can keep that up for 2 weeks in a row.
Giants (10-1) over Redskins (7-4)
I'm making way too many "heart" picks this week to go with my Skins in this one. I'm picking NY and rooting Washington.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (4-7) over Falcons (7-4)
Because San Diego can't lose every game to a last-minute field-goal.
Steelers (8-3) over Patriots (7-4)
Aaaaaaaargh! The Chicago TV market is getting the stupid Jets-Broncos game instead of this one. It's bad enough that we get Green Bay-Carolina instead of New York Washington, but this horse-shit is just rubbing salt into the wound.
Jets (8-3) over Broncos (6-5)
The Jets are gonna win. There, I just freed up 3 hours of your Sunday afternoon to follow more interesting pursuits (like cleaning the leaves out of your gutters).
Raiders (3-8) over Chiefs (1-10)
I still say that the Chiefs are an overall worse team than the Detroit Lions. How Tony Dungy is scamming an NFL franchise out of real folding money as a head coach is way beyond my comprehension. After his coaching career ends (in 4 weeks or so) he should cash in on his unparalleled ability to suck and take out a lease on a dumpster behind the local porno theatre.
Sunday Night Game:
Bears (6-5) over Vikings (6-5)
I might be deluded by fandom, but I can't see how the Vikings are a better team than the Bears. We beat 'em back in week 7, but nobody seems to be giving Chicago a shot in this one.
True, the Vikings really need the win here to have a shot at the NFC North title, but the Bears need a win here almost as bad. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if the Bears crapped out here, but I'm definitely not expecting it. This one's for a good share of the marbles, boys - Don't shit the bed.
Postgame: They shit the bed. Shit the bed HUGE.
Monday Night Game:
Texans (4-7) over Jaguars (4-7)
The Jags are done for the year - Things could be worse, the Texans have been done since they were awarded the franchise. I see the joke-squad getting a mercy-win on the home-turf.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Y'all are welcome to join us. If you dare.
I just hope that I can get enough espresso down my throat to be lucid for the Bears kickoff. On second thought, I may be better off staying drunk for that one.
Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 110/65/1
Thanksgiving Early Game:
Titans(10-1) over Lions (0-11)
If the Titans hadn't lost last week, I'd pick the Lions to win this miracle game. It's always the crappiest teams that break huge winning streaks, and they don't get any crappier than Detroit. Anyway, the Jets upended the Titans last week and deprived me of my "upset of the century lock of the week". Way to ruin everything, Brett.
Half-Time Report: Holy Shit, the only thing more pathetically embarrassing than the Lions' play was that turd of a half-time show. If Marinelli has one ounce of dignity in his body, he'll come straight out of the locker room and forfeit this abortion.
Thanksgiving Late Game:
Cowboys (7-4) over Seahawks (2-9)
I'm hoping that the Shawks can get their heads out of their asses and deal a crippling loss to the mighty Cowboys. That being said, there's a better chance that Stephen Hawking will win next season's 'Dancing With the Stars" competition. I can dream.
Thanksgiving Night Game:
Cardinals (7-4) over Eagles (5-5)
This has the potential to be a HUGE game. The Eagles need a decisive win here to quell the native uprising (and save their jobs for another week), whereas the Cards are sitting pretty and almost have a playoff berth locked down. I really want to pick the Eagles in this one, but have a feeling that they'll find a way to lose.
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (6-5) over 49ers (3-8)
I'm hoping that Samurai Mike is enjoying his stint as an NFL head coach. By my count, he only has 5 games left in that capacity.
Ravens (7-4) over Bengals (1-9)
The Ravens are the better overall team, but the Bengals have the explosive running power of CEDRIC BENSON. The Bengals will be lucky to get out of this one with any positive running yardage.
Colts (7-4) over Browns (4-7)
Romeo Crennel is on his dying breath over in Steamer-Town. Too bad, he seems like a nice guy - Shit coach, but nice guy.
Panthers (8-3) over Packers (5-6)
I'm deluding myself in thinking that the Panthers are good enough to get a win up in Green Bay, but I'm sticking with hope over logic.
Dolphins (6-5) over Rams (2-9)
The Rams are a great team on paper, but last week's suck-fest against the Bears just shows how little stats matter in real games. I'm just hoping that Mr. Kraftwerk himself (Rock Berlin) continues on as the Rams QB, or at the very least gets to do a cabaret act at half-time.
Saints (6-5) over Buccaneers (8-3)
Here's another stupid pick. I'm still amazed at how unbelievably great the Saints looked last week against the Pack. I'm buying into the sucker's bet that they can keep that up for 2 weeks in a row.
Giants (10-1) over Redskins (7-4)
I'm making way too many "heart" picks this week to go with my Skins in this one. I'm picking NY and rooting Washington.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (4-7) over Falcons (7-4)
Because San Diego can't lose every game to a last-minute field-goal.
Steelers (8-3) over Patriots (7-4)
Aaaaaaaargh! The Chicago TV market is getting the stupid Jets-Broncos game instead of this one. It's bad enough that we get Green Bay-Carolina instead of New York Washington, but this horse-shit is just rubbing salt into the wound.
Jets (8-3) over Broncos (6-5)
The Jets are gonna win. There, I just freed up 3 hours of your Sunday afternoon to follow more interesting pursuits (like cleaning the leaves out of your gutters).
Raiders (3-8) over Chiefs (1-10)
I still say that the Chiefs are an overall worse team than the Detroit Lions. How Tony Dungy is scamming an NFL franchise out of real folding money as a head coach is way beyond my comprehension. After his coaching career ends (in 4 weeks or so) he should cash in on his unparalleled ability to suck and take out a lease on a dumpster behind the local porno theatre.
Sunday Night Game:
Bears (6-5) over Vikings (6-5)
I might be deluded by fandom, but I can't see how the Vikings are a better team than the Bears. We beat 'em back in week 7, but nobody seems to be giving Chicago a shot in this one.
True, the Vikings really need the win here to have a shot at the NFC North title, but the Bears need a win here almost as bad. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if the Bears crapped out here, but I'm definitely not expecting it. This one's for a good share of the marbles, boys - Don't shit the bed.
Postgame: They shit the bed. Shit the bed HUGE.
Monday Night Game:
Texans (4-7) over Jaguars (4-7)
The Jags are done for the year - Things could be worse, the Texans have been done since they were awarded the franchise. I see the joke-squad getting a mercy-win on the home-turf.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 12 Picks
Oh Saturday, you cruel vixen. You got me again.
Instead of sitting down and doing my picks early (like a good boy), I went out drinking in the afternoon at Kathy's, got loaded, and (at The Girl's request) headed over to Popeye's for some greasy chicken (bad idea). I had passed out on my couch by 9PM, and woke up at 2AM when the chicken and beer ganged up on me for revenge.
Now I'm up for the day, sore as hell, half-awake, and cranking out these picks hung-over at 4 o'clock in the AM while sipping on some Sunday morning bourbon.
That should explain more than a couple of things.
Last Week's Picks: 12/3/1
Season Record: 100/59/1
Thursday Night Game:
Steelers (7-3) over Bengals (1-8-1)
Ocho Stinko just got deactivated for this game. He's the lucky one. Hell, If I owned the Bengals, I'd deactivate the whole fucking team, coaching staff, fans, and mascot for the remainder of the season - I'd be a hell of a lot less embarrassing for everyone.
Early Sunday Games:
Browns (4-6) over Texans (3-7)
The Texans just can't catch a break. They looked great coming out of the gate and then just nose-dived into oblivion. Now a game comes along that they thought that they might be able to win a few weeks ago, but the Browns are on a huge up-swing with Brady Quinn behind center. There goes the Alamo.
Cowboys (6-4) over 49ers (3-7)
Factiod of the week: When Tony Romo isn't rescuing stranded motorists, hugging bums, or making friends with the mentally retarded, he is the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Did you know?
Buccaneers (7-3) over Lions (0-10)
Watching Detroit play football is akin to watching a clown get kicked in the nuts for 3 hours straight.
Jets (7-3) over Titans (10-0)
This is the first time this season that the Titans have been in a match-up with a winning team that's firing on all cylinders. I'm really interested to see how this goes down. I'm going with the Jets on a hunch that Tennessee is primed for a fall just about now.
Bills (5-5) over Chiefs (1-9)
I'm about ready to put the Bills in the corner to think long and hard about what they've done to me over these last few weeks, but not just yet. This is their very small shot at redemption.
Bears (5-5) over Rams (2-8)
Here's what needs to happen in this game: Rest Orton - He came off the DL way too early. That was obvious. Haine and the other guy should be able to handle this one. If not, bring out Orton judiciously. The last thing we need is for the desperate St. Louis D to bring the hurt down and knock him out for the season.
The Bears defense needs to get ugly - Not ugly like they've been playing lately, we're talking Chicago-ugly. Babbich needs to dial up a high-pressure blitzkrieg on the weak St. Louis offense. Knock some teeth out, hammer 'em down, go for the highlight reel plays. If the Bears D keeps up it's anemic ways against the 2&8 Rams, there's no way that Lovie's loyalty can save Babbich from the fans and the front office.
Dolphins (6-4) over Patriots (6-4)
For my money, here's the game of the week. Belichick got bitched by the gimmicky wildcat plays in the Pats embarrassing week 3 loss to the Fish. If he loses another one to Miami, his head is gonna explode live on television. If Miami can secure 2 wins over the mighty Patriots, then they would be in great position for a playoff spot going into the homestretch, and Miami will get a life-sized emerald-encrusted statue of Parcells erected in front of Dolphins stadium.
Jaguars (4-6) over Vikings (5-5)
Here I go again. The Vikes might be for real, but I just can't bring myself to believe it. If they can grab a win over the middling Jags, then they might have a legitimate shot at their very first NFC North title ever (and no one wants that).
Ravens (6-4) over Eagles (5-4-1)
The normally sedate and even-tempered Philly fans are really in an uproar over last week's tie with the Bengals (and McNabb's ignorance regarding the basic rules of the game). The Eagles need to pull off some miracle shit over the next five weeks, or else they're going to be looking for a new head-coach and QB in the offseason.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (6-4) over Raiders (2-8)
It just dawned on me that the only AFC West team that I don't fucking hate right now is the Oakland Raiders, and they couldn't piss their way out of a paper bag. Since this division is so unbelievably weak right now, a Denver win this week could all but clinch it.
Panthers (8-2) over Falcons (6-4)
The Falcons really need the win here to keep the Panthers from running away with the division. I don't see it happening. The Panthers are crazy-good this season. If they weren't from Hicksville, or boring as a biscuit, someone might actually acknowledge their accomplishments this season.
Giants (9-1) over Cardinals (7-3)
Ho-Lee-Shit! The Cards have the NFC West all tied up - That division is even more pathetic than the AFC West. The #2 team behind the Cards right now is the 49ers with 3 wins. Seriously. Arizona is being hoisted by midgets right into the playoffs. I just hope that they could somehow manage an improbable win against a real team this week to help level-out the NFC East.
Redskins (6-4) over Seahawks (2-8)
The Skins really need a win here to end their 2 game skid. It's probable that (as things stand right now) they could reach 10 wins and still miss the playoffs. They have the Giants next week, so if they fold this one, they're toast. Go Skins; You can do it!
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (6-4) over Chargers (4-6)
The Chargers are teetering on the brink of oblivion. Good for them. I'm hoping that Indy can give them that push on over.
Monday Night Game:
Packers (5-5) over Saints (5-5)
This is probably the Saints' last game before a good chunk of their team gets yanked for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. I just hope that they can go out guns blazing and knock Green Bay down one slot in the NFC North standings. I'm not picking it, just hoping it.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Instead of sitting down and doing my picks early (like a good boy), I went out drinking in the afternoon at Kathy's, got loaded, and (at The Girl's request) headed over to Popeye's for some greasy chicken (bad idea). I had passed out on my couch by 9PM, and woke up at 2AM when the chicken and beer ganged up on me for revenge.
Now I'm up for the day, sore as hell, half-awake, and cranking out these picks hung-over at 4 o'clock in the AM while sipping on some Sunday morning bourbon.
That should explain more than a couple of things.
Last Week's Picks: 12/3/1
Season Record: 100/59/1
Thursday Night Game:
Steelers (7-3) over Bengals (1-8-1)
Ocho Stinko just got deactivated for this game. He's the lucky one. Hell, If I owned the Bengals, I'd deactivate the whole fucking team, coaching staff, fans, and mascot for the remainder of the season - I'd be a hell of a lot less embarrassing for everyone.
Early Sunday Games:
Browns (4-6) over Texans (3-7)
The Texans just can't catch a break. They looked great coming out of the gate and then just nose-dived into oblivion. Now a game comes along that they thought that they might be able to win a few weeks ago, but the Browns are on a huge up-swing with Brady Quinn behind center. There goes the Alamo.
Cowboys (6-4) over 49ers (3-7)
Factiod of the week: When Tony Romo isn't rescuing stranded motorists, hugging bums, or making friends with the mentally retarded, he is the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Did you know?
Buccaneers (7-3) over Lions (0-10)
Watching Detroit play football is akin to watching a clown get kicked in the nuts for 3 hours straight.
Jets (7-3) over Titans (10-0)
This is the first time this season that the Titans have been in a match-up with a winning team that's firing on all cylinders. I'm really interested to see how this goes down. I'm going with the Jets on a hunch that Tennessee is primed for a fall just about now.
Bills (5-5) over Chiefs (1-9)
I'm about ready to put the Bills in the corner to think long and hard about what they've done to me over these last few weeks, but not just yet. This is their very small shot at redemption.
Bears (5-5) over Rams (2-8)
Here's what needs to happen in this game: Rest Orton - He came off the DL way too early. That was obvious. Haine and the other guy should be able to handle this one. If not, bring out Orton judiciously. The last thing we need is for the desperate St. Louis D to bring the hurt down and knock him out for the season.
The Bears defense needs to get ugly - Not ugly like they've been playing lately, we're talking Chicago-ugly. Babbich needs to dial up a high-pressure blitzkrieg on the weak St. Louis offense. Knock some teeth out, hammer 'em down, go for the highlight reel plays. If the Bears D keeps up it's anemic ways against the 2&8 Rams, there's no way that Lovie's loyalty can save Babbich from the fans and the front office.
Dolphins (6-4) over Patriots (6-4)
For my money, here's the game of the week. Belichick got bitched by the gimmicky wildcat plays in the Pats embarrassing week 3 loss to the Fish. If he loses another one to Miami, his head is gonna explode live on television. If Miami can secure 2 wins over the mighty Patriots, then they would be in great position for a playoff spot going into the homestretch, and Miami will get a life-sized emerald-encrusted statue of Parcells erected in front of Dolphins stadium.
Jaguars (4-6) over Vikings (5-5)
Here I go again. The Vikes might be for real, but I just can't bring myself to believe it. If they can grab a win over the middling Jags, then they might have a legitimate shot at their very first NFC North title ever (and no one wants that).
Ravens (6-4) over Eagles (5-4-1)
The normally sedate and even-tempered Philly fans are really in an uproar over last week's tie with the Bengals (and McNabb's ignorance regarding the basic rules of the game). The Eagles need to pull off some miracle shit over the next five weeks, or else they're going to be looking for a new head-coach and QB in the offseason.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (6-4) over Raiders (2-8)
It just dawned on me that the only AFC West team that I don't fucking hate right now is the Oakland Raiders, and they couldn't piss their way out of a paper bag. Since this division is so unbelievably weak right now, a Denver win this week could all but clinch it.
Panthers (8-2) over Falcons (6-4)
The Falcons really need the win here to keep the Panthers from running away with the division. I don't see it happening. The Panthers are crazy-good this season. If they weren't from Hicksville, or boring as a biscuit, someone might actually acknowledge their accomplishments this season.
Giants (9-1) over Cardinals (7-3)
Ho-Lee-Shit! The Cards have the NFC West all tied up - That division is even more pathetic than the AFC West. The #2 team behind the Cards right now is the 49ers with 3 wins. Seriously. Arizona is being hoisted by midgets right into the playoffs. I just hope that they could somehow manage an improbable win against a real team this week to help level-out the NFC East.
Redskins (6-4) over Seahawks (2-8)
The Skins really need a win here to end their 2 game skid. It's probable that (as things stand right now) they could reach 10 wins and still miss the playoffs. They have the Giants next week, so if they fold this one, they're toast. Go Skins; You can do it!
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (6-4) over Chargers (4-6)
The Chargers are teetering on the brink of oblivion. Good for them. I'm hoping that Indy can give them that push on over.
Monday Night Game:
Packers (5-5) over Saints (5-5)
This is probably the Saints' last game before a good chunk of their team gets yanked for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. I just hope that they can go out guns blazing and knock Green Bay down one slot in the NFC North standings. I'm not picking it, just hoping it.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Huskie Update
It was a good night for Huskie athletics! A win away from home at Kent State and a win at home against Indiana State.
Attending the Mens's Basketball home opener, this Huskie fan enjoyed a gaime that saw good defense that kept a taller team back on the outside and an offensive effort that stayed strong and composed to keep the lead for the entire game. It was pressure, pressure and more pressure from a well coached group of ugly bags of mostly freshmen.
More importantly, I began with popcorn and coffee in the hospitality room, followed bya hot dog with mustard and relish. I followed-up at half-time with another piping hot cup of coffee, but missed out on the cookies.
I'm looking forward to next week's pigskin skirmish against Navy at Huskie Stadium. You can bet that I'll enjoy a couple of cups of hot coffee that night! Don't be surprised if I have a couple of dogs and a bag of peanuts - gotta eat the shells!
Go Huskies!
Football
NIU 42
Kent 14
M. Basketball
NIU 86
IS 79
Attending the Mens's Basketball home opener, this Huskie fan enjoyed a gaime that saw good defense that kept a taller team back on the outside and an offensive effort that stayed strong and composed to keep the lead for the entire game. It was pressure, pressure and more pressure from a well coached group of ugly bags of mostly freshmen.
More importantly, I began with popcorn and coffee in the hospitality room, followed bya hot dog with mustard and relish. I followed-up at half-time with another piping hot cup of coffee, but missed out on the cookies.
I'm looking forward to next week's pigskin skirmish against Navy at Huskie Stadium. You can bet that I'll enjoy a couple of cups of hot coffee that night! Don't be surprised if I have a couple of dogs and a bag of peanuts - gotta eat the shells!
Go Huskies!
Football
NIU 42
Kent 14
M. Basketball
NIU 86
IS 79
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 11 Picks
Oh, crap!
I neglected to do the rest of my picks on Thursday and chose to watch the Jets/Pats game instead. Then on Friday I decided to jeopardize my relationship with Jenny by attending a game night at Gundy's (The Girl is a way-sore loser). And today I headed out to the 2PM Ben Weasel show (fucking great!) and then hit Chinatown afterward. Now I'm trying to get the rest of these stupid picks out before everybody comes over for Saturday movie night.
Hurry-up time. Go!
These are gonna be sparse, my bad.
Last Week's Picks: 11/3
Season Record: 88/56
Thursday Night Game:
Jets (6-3) over Patriots (6-3)
What the fuck am I doing? Why in the hell do I think that the fatherfucking Jets can just waltz into Foxboro and walk away with 1st place in the AFC East? I should have my head examined.
Regardless, I'm gonna be glued front & center in front of the parlor wall for this game tonight.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (6-3) over Broncos (5-4)
Hey Atlanta, do me a solid and finish off Denver's playoff dreams this week. Thanx.
Eagles (5-4) over Bengals (1-8)
Wah-wah-wah. You lose, Cincy. Thanks for playing.
Postgame: A tie?!?! Are you fucking kidding me? How do I even score this? People? Help!
Packers (4-5) over Bears (5-4)
I have a bad feeling that Rex is gonna get the majority of snaps this Sunday and something like this is gonna happen:
Colts (5-4) over Texans (3-6)
I rescind my earlier statements - The Clots are lookin' like a playoff bound team again. Go Texans!
Saints (4-5) over Chiefs (1-8)
The 'Aints have gone back to being the bumbling losers of the NFC South. The sure fire cure to your "our team is a' losin' blues" is a visit to ole Kansas City.
Dolphins (5-4) over Raiders (2-7)
Flush!
Giants (8-1) over Ravens (6-3)
Here's the game of the week for the unwashed masses (since nobody without NFL Net saw the Thursday game). I'm picking New York and pulling for Baltimore.
Buccaneers (6-3) over Vikings (5-4)
With a loss here by Minnesota, the Bears will still share 1st place in the NFC North (in a 3-way tie) regardless of what else happens this week.
Panthers (7-2) over Lions (0-9)
It's too bad for Detroit that they don't get to play any games against the Lions. If so, they might just win a game this year.
Late Sunday Games:
49ers (2-7) over Rams (2-7)
Hey kids, It's a noobie coach smackdown! In this situation, you've got to root for Samurai Mike.
Cardinals (6-3) over Seahawks (2-7)
Sometime before this season is over, Holmgren is gonna dress-up a walrus with a clipboard and a Seahawks visor and sneak out (unnoticed) to the parking lot to beat traffic.
Titans (9-0) over Jaguars (4-5)
Hey Tennessee; TRAP GAME!!! Watch your ass. This is exactly the sorta game that all the undefeateds seem to lose. I'd totally pick the Jags to win this one if I weren't such a spineless pussy.
Steelers (6-3) over Chargers (4-5)
Drive those nails deep in their coffin, Pittsburgh.
Sunday Night Game:
Redskins (6-3) over Cowboys (5-4)
Romo's nowhere near 100%, the Dallas team is a pubic-hair away from self-destructing, and the Skins have something to prove coming off of their bye - Happy trails, Cowboys.
Monday Night Game:
Bills (5-4) over Browns (3-6)
This should be a real interesting game - Lots of angles. Brady Quinn, Medicine Woman, is trying to get his first win in the NFL (and looking good), while the Williams are trying like hell to hang tough in the tumultuous AFC East. The Bills have homefield and a lot more to fight for, so I'm going with them in this toss-up.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Ties in BLUE
I neglected to do the rest of my picks on Thursday and chose to watch the Jets/Pats game instead. Then on Friday I decided to jeopardize my relationship with Jenny by attending a game night at Gundy's (The Girl is a way-sore loser). And today I headed out to the 2PM Ben Weasel show (fucking great!) and then hit Chinatown afterward. Now I'm trying to get the rest of these stupid picks out before everybody comes over for Saturday movie night.
Hurry-up time. Go!
These are gonna be sparse, my bad.
Last Week's Picks: 11/3
Season Record: 88/56
Thursday Night Game:
Jets (6-3) over Patriots (6-3)
What the fuck am I doing? Why in the hell do I think that the fatherfucking Jets can just waltz into Foxboro and walk away with 1st place in the AFC East? I should have my head examined.
Regardless, I'm gonna be glued front & center in front of the parlor wall for this game tonight.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (6-3) over Broncos (5-4)
Hey Atlanta, do me a solid and finish off Denver's playoff dreams this week. Thanx.
Eagles (5-4) over Bengals (1-8)
Wah-wah-wah. You lose, Cincy. Thanks for playing.
Postgame: A tie?!?! Are you fucking kidding me? How do I even score this? People? Help!
Packers (4-5) over Bears (5-4)
I have a bad feeling that Rex is gonna get the majority of snaps this Sunday and something like this is gonna happen:
Colts (5-4) over Texans (3-6)
I rescind my earlier statements - The Clots are lookin' like a playoff bound team again. Go Texans!
Saints (4-5) over Chiefs (1-8)
The 'Aints have gone back to being the bumbling losers of the NFC South. The sure fire cure to your "our team is a' losin' blues" is a visit to ole Kansas City.
Dolphins (5-4) over Raiders (2-7)
Flush!
Giants (8-1) over Ravens (6-3)
Here's the game of the week for the unwashed masses (since nobody without NFL Net saw the Thursday game). I'm picking New York and pulling for Baltimore.
Buccaneers (6-3) over Vikings (5-4)
With a loss here by Minnesota, the Bears will still share 1st place in the NFC North (in a 3-way tie) regardless of what else happens this week.
Panthers (7-2) over Lions (0-9)
It's too bad for Detroit that they don't get to play any games against the Lions. If so, they might just win a game this year.
Late Sunday Games:
49ers (2-7) over Rams (2-7)
Hey kids, It's a noobie coach smackdown! In this situation, you've got to root for Samurai Mike.
Cardinals (6-3) over Seahawks (2-7)
Sometime before this season is over, Holmgren is gonna dress-up a walrus with a clipboard and a Seahawks visor and sneak out (unnoticed) to the parking lot to beat traffic.
Titans (9-0) over Jaguars (4-5)
Hey Tennessee; TRAP GAME!!! Watch your ass. This is exactly the sorta game that all the undefeateds seem to lose. I'd totally pick the Jags to win this one if I weren't such a spineless pussy.
Steelers (6-3) over Chargers (4-5)
Drive those nails deep in their coffin, Pittsburgh.
Sunday Night Game:
Redskins (6-3) over Cowboys (5-4)
Romo's nowhere near 100%, the Dallas team is a pubic-hair away from self-destructing, and the Skins have something to prove coming off of their bye - Happy trails, Cowboys.
Monday Night Game:
Bills (5-4) over Browns (3-6)
This should be a real interesting game - Lots of angles. Brady Quinn, Medicine Woman, is trying to get his first win in the NFL (and looking good), while the Williams are trying like hell to hang tough in the tumultuous AFC East. The Bills have homefield and a lot more to fight for, so I'm going with them in this toss-up.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Ties in BLUE
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 10 Picks
With the Skins in a (merciful) bye, and Grossman behind center for the Bears, I'm looking forward to this Sunday of football like a Ugandan colonoscopy. It doesn't help that the late games we get in the Chicago market are Indy at Pittsburgh (meh) and Carolina at Oakland (?!?!?).
I can't get excited about any televised game this week other than the NBC Sunday nighter.
Here's to week 11.
Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 77/53
Thursday Night Game:
Browns (3-5) over Broncos (4-4)
Thus begins the Brady Quinn era in Cleveland (now the kid might be able to get endorsement deals with a few companies that aren't operated out of some guy's basement).
Postgame: Fucking Kellen Winslow. You owe me one pick, you bum. Without any single of the 3 stupid mistakes you made tonight, the Browns would have won this game.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (5-3) over Saints (4-4)
With an Atlanta win this week and a Carolina loss this week there would be a 3-way tie for first in the NFC South (Tampa's on a bye this week). That's crazy. It's too bad for Atlanta that the Panthers are playing the Raiders this week, or things could get real interesting in this division.
Titans (8-0) over Bears (5-3)
My worst nightmare is that Sexy Rexy is going to step in and pull a "good Rex" miracle out of his ass and smack the undefeated Titans square in the mouth. Then Angelo (feeling vindicated) immediately signs him to a $50-million / 10 year contract extension, and then I'll have to go out and buy a Packers jersey. --shudder-- I'm hoping for a 6 turnover embarrassment from Grossie, a chance to see Haine take the reigns as the Bears back-up QB, and for Rex buy a one-way ticket out of town.
Let the Rexecution begin!
Jaguars (3-5) over Lions (0-8)
It's amazing how hard the Jags are sucking this year. This was arguably the most dominant team in the league last season, now they're a freakin' disaster. I just hope that they have enough steam left to keep the desperate Lions defeated. I'm not sure that they do.
I'm tempted to hope for career-ending injuries for the Lions this week in retribution for the Orton hit-job last week, but there's no one left on the Detroit team that's good enough to wish injury upon. Any homeless C.H.U.D. that you could pull of the rat-infested streets of Detroit would probably be a vast improvement to that team. It's more of a punishment to keep that squad just as it is.
Dolphins (4-4) over Seahawks (2-6)
It is equally amazing at how well the Fins are doing this year. I'm just extremely glad that Parcells went down to Miami last year, instead of to Detroit next year.
Packers (4-4) over Vikings (4-4)
Look on the bright side, now matter how bad the Bears lose this week, we'll still be tied for first in the division with the winner of this game. Maybe not the best scenario, but it could be much worse (see 2 picks above).
Patriots (5-3) over Bills (5-3)
Last Friday I was out drinking at Delilah's. On my way out I picked up a flyer of upcoming events. Much to my surprise, I noticed that they are showing all the Bills & Sabers games live. I never would have pegged Delilah's as a Buffalo loyalist bar. Good for them, I might have to swing by and catch a game there one Sunday when the Bears are playing an off-day, or a night game. Anyway, hipster loyalty isn't gonna save them this week. I see the Patriots winning this one on their home-turf.
Jets (5-3) over Rams (2-6)
The Rams really impressed me with the win over the Skins, the Cowboys and the impressive showing against the Patriots in Foxboro. Although, after last week's pitiful display against the Cardinals, I think that I may have over-valued 'em. I'm reluctantly picking Brett's Jets in this one, but a St Louis upset wouldn't surprise me one bit.
Ravens (5-3) over Texans (3-5)
Here's the Hurricane Ike make-up game from week 2. I think that I picked the Texans to win that game back in September. I'm officially changing that pick right now.
Late Sunday Games:
Panthers (6-2) over Raiders (2-6)
All I can say about this game is: NEXT!
Steelers (6-2) over Colts (4-4)
I would be shocked if the Colts made it to the playoffs this year - The Titans have a 4 game cushion at the half-way point, and are almost guaranteed to win the division. The Colts would have to pull off an impressive winning streak to even be in the running for a playoff spot. That streak isn't going to start this game. Goodnight, Indy.
Chargers (3-5) over Chiefs (1-7)
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your teams suck it.
I hope that neither of you clown-squads win another game this year. I'll pick Sham Diego here, and Kansas Shitty on December 14th just to spread the manure evenly for you losers.
Postgame: See, I told you that Herm Edwards was the worst coach in the NFL right now. His super-retard egotistical play-calling cost the Chiefs the win here.
Sunday Night Game:
Giants (7-1) over Eagles (5-3)
This should be a damn fine game. The Eagles play really well against the Giants, and there's no love loss between these two teams. I'm picking the Giants, but pulling for the Eagles to triumph and bring some equilibrium to the NFC East.
Monday Night Game:
Cardinals (5-3) over 49ers (2-6)
I'm so gonna watch this just to see if Samurai Mike can out-crazy Dennis Green on his old turf in the post game rant. I'm just waiting for: "The Cardinals are who we thought they were... Now look at my bare ass! LOOK AT IT!!!"
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
I can't get excited about any televised game this week other than the NBC Sunday nighter.
Here's to week 11.
Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 77/53
Thursday Night Game:
Browns (3-5) over Broncos (4-4)
Thus begins the Brady Quinn era in Cleveland (now the kid might be able to get endorsement deals with a few companies that aren't operated out of some guy's basement).
Postgame: Fucking Kellen Winslow. You owe me one pick, you bum. Without any single of the 3 stupid mistakes you made tonight, the Browns would have won this game.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (5-3) over Saints (4-4)
With an Atlanta win this week and a Carolina loss this week there would be a 3-way tie for first in the NFC South (Tampa's on a bye this week). That's crazy. It's too bad for Atlanta that the Panthers are playing the Raiders this week, or things could get real interesting in this division.
Titans (8-0) over Bears (5-3)
My worst nightmare is that Sexy Rexy is going to step in and pull a "good Rex" miracle out of his ass and smack the undefeated Titans square in the mouth. Then Angelo (feeling vindicated) immediately signs him to a $50-million / 10 year contract extension, and then I'll have to go out and buy a Packers jersey. --shudder-- I'm hoping for a 6 turnover embarrassment from Grossie, a chance to see Haine take the reigns as the Bears back-up QB, and for Rex buy a one-way ticket out of town.
Let the Rexecution begin!
Jaguars (3-5) over Lions (0-8)
It's amazing how hard the Jags are sucking this year. This was arguably the most dominant team in the league last season, now they're a freakin' disaster. I just hope that they have enough steam left to keep the desperate Lions defeated. I'm not sure that they do.
I'm tempted to hope for career-ending injuries for the Lions this week in retribution for the Orton hit-job last week, but there's no one left on the Detroit team that's good enough to wish injury upon. Any homeless C.H.U.D. that you could pull of the rat-infested streets of Detroit would probably be a vast improvement to that team. It's more of a punishment to keep that squad just as it is.
Dolphins (4-4) over Seahawks (2-6)
It is equally amazing at how well the Fins are doing this year. I'm just extremely glad that Parcells went down to Miami last year, instead of to Detroit next year.
Packers (4-4) over Vikings (4-4)
Look on the bright side, now matter how bad the Bears lose this week, we'll still be tied for first in the division with the winner of this game. Maybe not the best scenario, but it could be much worse (see 2 picks above).
Patriots (5-3) over Bills (5-3)
Last Friday I was out drinking at Delilah's. On my way out I picked up a flyer of upcoming events. Much to my surprise, I noticed that they are showing all the Bills & Sabers games live. I never would have pegged Delilah's as a Buffalo loyalist bar. Good for them, I might have to swing by and catch a game there one Sunday when the Bears are playing an off-day, or a night game. Anyway, hipster loyalty isn't gonna save them this week. I see the Patriots winning this one on their home-turf.
Jets (5-3) over Rams (2-6)
The Rams really impressed me with the win over the Skins, the Cowboys and the impressive showing against the Patriots in Foxboro. Although, after last week's pitiful display against the Cardinals, I think that I may have over-valued 'em. I'm reluctantly picking Brett's Jets in this one, but a St Louis upset wouldn't surprise me one bit.
Ravens (5-3) over Texans (3-5)
Here's the Hurricane Ike make-up game from week 2. I think that I picked the Texans to win that game back in September. I'm officially changing that pick right now.
Late Sunday Games:
Panthers (6-2) over Raiders (2-6)
All I can say about this game is: NEXT!
Steelers (6-2) over Colts (4-4)
I would be shocked if the Colts made it to the playoffs this year - The Titans have a 4 game cushion at the half-way point, and are almost guaranteed to win the division. The Colts would have to pull off an impressive winning streak to even be in the running for a playoff spot. That streak isn't going to start this game. Goodnight, Indy.
Chargers (3-5) over Chiefs (1-7)
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your teams suck it.
I hope that neither of you clown-squads win another game this year. I'll pick Sham Diego here, and Kansas Shitty on December 14th just to spread the manure evenly for you losers.
Postgame: See, I told you that Herm Edwards was the worst coach in the NFL right now. His super-retard egotistical play-calling cost the Chiefs the win here.
Sunday Night Game:
Giants (7-1) over Eagles (5-3)
This should be a damn fine game. The Eagles play really well against the Giants, and there's no love loss between these two teams. I'm picking the Giants, but pulling for the Eagles to triumph and bring some equilibrium to the NFC East.
Monday Night Game:
Cardinals (5-3) over 49ers (2-6)
I'm so gonna watch this just to see if Samurai Mike can out-crazy Dennis Green on his old turf in the post game rant. I'm just waiting for: "The Cardinals are who we thought they were... Now look at my bare ass! LOOK AT IT!!!"
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 9 Picks
I wasted this entire weekend reliving my childhood by endlessly playing Mega Man II on the PS2. I was at the final boss before the huge ending and realized that I didn't have enough rockets to finish the level (and no way to get 'em). Now I have to replay the entire game from the beginning, or just give up.
Seriously?!?
Is it just me, or were game designers a bunch of huge fucking pricks back then? With an entire weekend pissed away, I'm done with all that noise (unless someone releases Bionic Commando* or Kid Icarus anthologies for Xbox 360).
Anyway, I gave up on the retro video games and decided to spend my time on an equally worthless pursuit; blogging about professional sports. I'm just hoping that I don't get stuck at the end of this post and have to re-do it from word one.
That would suck it.
Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 69/47
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (5-2) over Jets (4-3)
The Bills are coming off of a bruising loss to Miami last week and the Jets are coming off of an unimpressive 17-seconds-from disaster win over the Chiefs last week. Favre hasn't been himself lately, and there's a bunch of speculation that his shoulder may be hinkey. I just don't think that he has what it takes right now to get the first win of his career in the city of Buffalo.
Bears (4-3) over Lions (0-7)
Remember back in week 6 when I warned the Redskins of a trap game against the winless Rams (which they subsequently lost)? Well, this is nothing like that. The Lions are so beat down that it would take Grossman behind center to hand them a win here.
Postgame: Wow, I almost jinxed that one. Sorry about the season, folks.
Jaguars (3-4) over Bengals (0-8)
The Jags are backed into a corner and trying like hell to salvage any hopes of a playoff berth. A trip to Cincinnati should heal what ails 'em (at least for this week).
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, Jacksonville.
Browns (3-4) over Ravens (4-3)
This one really depends on which Browns team takes the field this Sunday. Will it be the team that decimated the Super Bowl Champion Giants in week 6, or the team that sucked out loud in their last match-up with Baltimore in week 3?
Titans (7-0) over Packers (4-3)
This game should be a lot closer than anyone is expecting, and Green Bay has a good shot at an upset here. I'm hoping that the Titans win, but that the Pack lays down the hurt on Tennessee - The more stocked the Titan's DL is next week, the better shot the Bears have of ousting the last undefeated team in the NFL.
Buccaneers (5-3) over Chiefs (1-6)
The Bucs are a total mystery. They go from looking like a Super Bowl caliber team to a bumbling train wreck from week to week. It's downright perplexing. On the other hand, the Chiefs always look like crap. Thank you, Kansas City for making this an easy pick.
Rams (2-5) over Cardinals (4-3)
Since the Rams dumped (ex-head coach) Linehan, they've won two and had a shot at a win on the road against the mighty Patriots last week. WTF? That's crazy.
Vikings (3-4) over Texans (3-4)
Here's the coin-toss game of the week. This one could easily go either way. I'm doing what I always do in this situation: 1) pick the home team and/or 2) pick the team I want to lose, so that regardless of the result, I'm happy.
Late Sunday Games:
Dolphins (3-4) over Broncos (4-3)
I have no fucking idea why I'm picking Miami to pull off the upset at Mile-High Stadium. Call it a stupid, stupid hunch.
Falcons (4-3) over Raiders (2-5)
The only wins Oakland has gotten this year were over the Chiefs and the hobbled Jets. The Falcons haven't been giving up "gimme" games this year. All signs point toward an Atlanta win.
Giants (6-1) over Cowboys (5-3)
If Romo was in this one, It'd be a great fucking game. He's not. If you enjoy watching the Cowboys get loads of comeuppance, watch this one. If you're a gentle soul, turn away.
Eagles (4-3) over Seahawks (2-5)
It's the Battle of the Birds round II. Last week the winged raptors of Philly made a meal out of the fighting Falcons of Atlanta. This week they get the broken budgies of scenic Puget Sound. Okay, This really isn't a battle, more of a mercy killing.
Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (5-2) over Colts (3-4)
When they were making up the schedule in the offseason, this must have looked like a powerhouse match-up of two (potentially undefeated) teams. That would have been great to watch. Now? Meh. I wouldn't be surprised if neither of these teams made the playoffs this year.
Monday Night Game:
Redskins (6-2) over Steelers (5-2)
WATCH THIS GAME! This is the marquee match-up of the week. Both of these teams are at the top of their games, and this should be a spectacle to behold. It's gonna be a good one.
Go Skins!
Postgame: I really hope you didn't watch that game. Ugh!
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Fuck me; they're releasing a NEW Bionic Commando with Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle) voicing the protagonist. I may be excited about a video game for the first time in 20 years.
Seriously?!?
Is it just me, or were game designers a bunch of huge fucking pricks back then? With an entire weekend pissed away, I'm done with all that noise (unless someone releases Bionic Commando* or Kid Icarus anthologies for Xbox 360).
Anyway, I gave up on the retro video games and decided to spend my time on an equally worthless pursuit; blogging about professional sports. I'm just hoping that I don't get stuck at the end of this post and have to re-do it from word one.
That would suck it.
Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 69/47
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (5-2) over Jets (4-3)
The Bills are coming off of a bruising loss to Miami last week and the Jets are coming off of an unimpressive 17-seconds-from disaster win over the Chiefs last week. Favre hasn't been himself lately, and there's a bunch of speculation that his shoulder may be hinkey. I just don't think that he has what it takes right now to get the first win of his career in the city of Buffalo.
Bears (4-3) over Lions (0-7)
Remember back in week 6 when I warned the Redskins of a trap game against the winless Rams (which they subsequently lost)? Well, this is nothing like that. The Lions are so beat down that it would take Grossman behind center to hand them a win here.
Postgame: Wow, I almost jinxed that one. Sorry about the season, folks.
Jaguars (3-4) over Bengals (0-8)
The Jags are backed into a corner and trying like hell to salvage any hopes of a playoff berth. A trip to Cincinnati should heal what ails 'em (at least for this week).
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, Jacksonville.
Browns (3-4) over Ravens (4-3)
This one really depends on which Browns team takes the field this Sunday. Will it be the team that decimated the Super Bowl Champion Giants in week 6, or the team that sucked out loud in their last match-up with Baltimore in week 3?
Titans (7-0) over Packers (4-3)
This game should be a lot closer than anyone is expecting, and Green Bay has a good shot at an upset here. I'm hoping that the Titans win, but that the Pack lays down the hurt on Tennessee - The more stocked the Titan's DL is next week, the better shot the Bears have of ousting the last undefeated team in the NFL.
Buccaneers (5-3) over Chiefs (1-6)
The Bucs are a total mystery. They go from looking like a Super Bowl caliber team to a bumbling train wreck from week to week. It's downright perplexing. On the other hand, the Chiefs always look like crap. Thank you, Kansas City for making this an easy pick.
Rams (2-5) over Cardinals (4-3)
Since the Rams dumped (ex-head coach) Linehan, they've won two and had a shot at a win on the road against the mighty Patriots last week. WTF? That's crazy.
Vikings (3-4) over Texans (3-4)
Here's the coin-toss game of the week. This one could easily go either way. I'm doing what I always do in this situation: 1) pick the home team and/or 2) pick the team I want to lose, so that regardless of the result, I'm happy.
Late Sunday Games:
Dolphins (3-4) over Broncos (4-3)
I have no fucking idea why I'm picking Miami to pull off the upset at Mile-High Stadium. Call it a stupid, stupid hunch.
Falcons (4-3) over Raiders (2-5)
The only wins Oakland has gotten this year were over the Chiefs and the hobbled Jets. The Falcons haven't been giving up "gimme" games this year. All signs point toward an Atlanta win.
Giants (6-1) over Cowboys (5-3)
If Romo was in this one, It'd be a great fucking game. He's not. If you enjoy watching the Cowboys get loads of comeuppance, watch this one. If you're a gentle soul, turn away.
Eagles (4-3) over Seahawks (2-5)
It's the Battle of the Birds round II. Last week the winged raptors of Philly made a meal out of the fighting Falcons of Atlanta. This week they get the broken budgies of scenic Puget Sound. Okay, This really isn't a battle, more of a mercy killing.
Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (5-2) over Colts (3-4)
When they were making up the schedule in the offseason, this must have looked like a powerhouse match-up of two (potentially undefeated) teams. That would have been great to watch. Now? Meh. I wouldn't be surprised if neither of these teams made the playoffs this year.
Monday Night Game:
Redskins (6-2) over Steelers (5-2)
WATCH THIS GAME! This is the marquee match-up of the week. Both of these teams are at the top of their games, and this should be a spectacle to behold. It's gonna be a good one.
Go Skins!
Postgame: I really hope you didn't watch that game. Ugh!
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Fuck me; they're releasing a NEW Bionic Commando with Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle) voicing the protagonist. I may be excited about a video game for the first time in 20 years.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 8 Picks
I spent way too long doing my picks this week, now I'm running late for a party tonight. Let's stop wasting time and get right to it.
Last Week's Picks: 10/4
Season Record: 60/42
Early Sunday Games:
Buccaneers (5-2) over Cowboys (4-3)
I'm gonna tune into this one just to watch Wade Phillips on the Dallas sideline. Jerry Jones says his job is safe, but the big guy hates losing and has a hair-line trigger. The Cowboys are in a bad spot right now, and unless they can pull off a huge upset with their second-stringers, I see a new hard-ass head coach moving in before Tony Romo's busted pinkie has a chance to heal.
Redskins (5-2) over Lions (0-6)
The last "gimme" game the Skins had against a winless joke of a team was two weeks ago against the Rams. They lost at the last second with a St. Louis field-goal. I'm hoping like hell that they learned their lesson then, and will go after the throat of the Motor City Kitties and decimate them with every weapon in the Washington arsenal - I won't be happy unless the Bears are playing against all Detroit 3rd-stringers next Sunday.
Bills (5-1) over Dolphins (2-4)
The Bills are for real, baby. The Phins need this win, but it's gonna be too much of a struggle to up-end the AFC East leaders.
Patriots (4-2) over Rams (2-4)
The Rams are playing with a chip on their shoulder, fire in their bellys, and hate in their hearts; Goodbye Linehan, indeed. The Pats are starting to gel under Cassel, but are losing players left and right. This should be an entertaining game, but St. Louis is way out-classed in this one.
Chargers (3-4) over Saints (3-4)
Note: Due to this game being played in Wembly Stadium in London, I've decided to write this pick in Cockney rhyming-slang. Deal with it.
Oi! saucepan lids, it's anovver London game, but this nickle and dime in hell 'ov a reason. The bloomin' Saints 'eaven and 'ell need a win 'ere ter stay competitive in air incision, but I loike the Chargers in ben wahn.
Jets (3-3) over Chiefs (1-5)
Back in the '06 off-season the Chiefs played dirty and grabbed Herm Edwards from the Jets with 2 years left on his coaching contract. It ended up costing the Chief a 4th round draft pick for tampering.
What did Kansas City get with Edwards? A pathetic 14 & 24 record, a depleted roster, and possibly one of the worst coaches in NFL history. Congratulations, douchebags.
This is Herm's triumphant return to the Meadowlands. Cheer up, New York, being rid of that scum-fuck loser is better than a hundred Brett Favres wrapped up under your Christmas tree.
Eagles (3-3) over Falcons (4-2)
It's the battle of the birds! This is going to be a great game. the Eagles are struggling to keep their heads above water in the NFC East, and the Falcons are booming out of the gate with their rebuilt team. I'm just picking the home team here, due to a lack of any real discernible advantage either way.
Panthers (5-2) over Cardinals (4-2)
The Cardinals better start losing some games quick, or they might actually finish a season with a winning record, and we just can't have that.
Ravens (3-3) over Raiders (2-4)
The Raiders are coming off an impressive win over the Jets. They're flying at Mach II right now - Right into the brick-wall defense of Baltimore. Eject! Eject!
Late Sunday Games:
Texans (2-4) over Bengals (0-7)
The Bengals so bad, they think the Quarterback is a government refund.
The Bengals so bad, they think the Super Bowl is what goes with the Super Spoon.
The Bengals so bad, they ran to Canada to avoid the NFL Draft.
The Bengals so bad, the only scoring they do is on the drug test.
etc, etc.
Jaguars (3-3) over Browns (2-4)
I'd like to see the Brownies grab a win here and right their season before it capsizes below the waves of mediocrity, but If I were Cleveland I'd have the life rafts at the ready.
Giants (5-1) over Steelers (5-1)
This is probably the best game of the week right here. For some reason, I just don't give a shit. I'd much rather watch the battle for the bottom out in the land of Rice-A-Roni (see below).
49ers (2-5) over Seahawks (1-5)
Samurai Mike make his debut as the Niners head coach in this one. I'm really interested in seeing how he does. There has been a lot of buzz around him since his days with the Ravens, but the word is that he just isn't good with the "X's" & "O's" 0f the game. I'm shocked that San Fran didn't just bump-up Mike Martz, who has a proven track-record of winning. Singletary better put together some magic quick, or his career as a NFL head coach could be a short-lived one.
No Sunday Night Game (due to World Series)
Monday Night Game:
Titans (6-0) over Colts (3-3)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. With a win here, the Titans could nearly knock the Colts out of contention and secure a stranglehold on the AFC South division. The only thing that can derail 'em now is if somehow Vince Young weaseled his way back onto the field this season. If I were Tennessee, I would set up razor wire and armed turrets along the sideline to prevent that tragedy from happening.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Last Week's Picks: 10/4
Season Record: 60/42
Early Sunday Games:
Buccaneers (5-2) over Cowboys (4-3)
I'm gonna tune into this one just to watch Wade Phillips on the Dallas sideline. Jerry Jones says his job is safe, but the big guy hates losing and has a hair-line trigger. The Cowboys are in a bad spot right now, and unless they can pull off a huge upset with their second-stringers, I see a new hard-ass head coach moving in before Tony Romo's busted pinkie has a chance to heal.
Redskins (5-2) over Lions (0-6)
The last "gimme" game the Skins had against a winless joke of a team was two weeks ago against the Rams. They lost at the last second with a St. Louis field-goal. I'm hoping like hell that they learned their lesson then, and will go after the throat of the Motor City Kitties and decimate them with every weapon in the Washington arsenal - I won't be happy unless the Bears are playing against all Detroit 3rd-stringers next Sunday.
Bills (5-1) over Dolphins (2-4)
The Bills are for real, baby. The Phins need this win, but it's gonna be too much of a struggle to up-end the AFC East leaders.
Patriots (4-2) over Rams (2-4)
The Rams are playing with a chip on their shoulder, fire in their bellys, and hate in their hearts; Goodbye Linehan, indeed. The Pats are starting to gel under Cassel, but are losing players left and right. This should be an entertaining game, but St. Louis is way out-classed in this one.
Chargers (3-4) over Saints (3-4)
Note: Due to this game being played in Wembly Stadium in London, I've decided to write this pick in Cockney rhyming-slang. Deal with it.
Oi! saucepan lids, it's anovver London game, but this nickle and dime in hell 'ov a reason. The bloomin' Saints 'eaven and 'ell need a win 'ere ter stay competitive in air incision, but I loike the Chargers in ben wahn.
Jets (3-3) over Chiefs (1-5)
Back in the '06 off-season the Chiefs played dirty and grabbed Herm Edwards from the Jets with 2 years left on his coaching contract. It ended up costing the Chief a 4th round draft pick for tampering.
What did Kansas City get with Edwards? A pathetic 14 & 24 record, a depleted roster, and possibly one of the worst coaches in NFL history. Congratulations, douchebags.
This is Herm's triumphant return to the Meadowlands. Cheer up, New York, being rid of that scum-fuck loser is better than a hundred Brett Favres wrapped up under your Christmas tree.
Eagles (3-3) over Falcons (4-2)
It's the battle of the birds! This is going to be a great game. the Eagles are struggling to keep their heads above water in the NFC East, and the Falcons are booming out of the gate with their rebuilt team. I'm just picking the home team here, due to a lack of any real discernible advantage either way.
Panthers (5-2) over Cardinals (4-2)
The Cardinals better start losing some games quick, or they might actually finish a season with a winning record, and we just can't have that.
Ravens (3-3) over Raiders (2-4)
The Raiders are coming off an impressive win over the Jets. They're flying at Mach II right now - Right into the brick-wall defense of Baltimore. Eject! Eject!
Late Sunday Games:
Texans (2-4) over Bengals (0-7)
The Bengals so bad, they think the Quarterback is a government refund.
The Bengals so bad, they think the Super Bowl is what goes with the Super Spoon.
The Bengals so bad, they ran to Canada to avoid the NFL Draft.
The Bengals so bad, the only scoring they do is on the drug test.
etc, etc.
Jaguars (3-3) over Browns (2-4)
I'd like to see the Brownies grab a win here and right their season before it capsizes below the waves of mediocrity, but If I were Cleveland I'd have the life rafts at the ready.
Giants (5-1) over Steelers (5-1)
This is probably the best game of the week right here. For some reason, I just don't give a shit. I'd much rather watch the battle for the bottom out in the land of Rice-A-Roni (see below).
49ers (2-5) over Seahawks (1-5)
Samurai Mike make his debut as the Niners head coach in this one. I'm really interested in seeing how he does. There has been a lot of buzz around him since his days with the Ravens, but the word is that he just isn't good with the "X's" & "O's" 0f the game. I'm shocked that San Fran didn't just bump-up Mike Martz, who has a proven track-record of winning. Singletary better put together some magic quick, or his career as a NFL head coach could be a short-lived one.
No Sunday Night Game (due to World Series)
Monday Night Game:
Titans (6-0) over Colts (3-3)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. With a win here, the Titans could nearly knock the Colts out of contention and secure a stranglehold on the AFC South division. The only thing that can derail 'em now is if somehow Vince Young weaseled his way back onto the field this season. If I were Tennessee, I would set up razor wire and armed turrets along the sideline to prevent that tragedy from happening.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Friday, October 24, 2008
Under the Radar
This is not a Grossman vs. Orton post. It's not even a "Turner sucks" post. It's actually complementary. I have noticed that most snaps this year have resulted in 3+ seconds of time for Orton to operate. The big draft pick hasn't even gotten into the game yet, and the o-line has improved a LOT in the past year.
I would still contend that Grossman could be effective in this improved system, but I'm over it. The offensive line provided protection, Forte provides a competent running game, and the receivers (aside from some back-breaking drops) are doing a better job than I expected. I've always argued that the QB position only needs to be mechanically sound. If the rest of the offense is sound, we don't need a superhero.
We do need a defense. The same issues that plagued the offense last year (weak front line, lack of aggression) is now passed to the defense. All these guys got paid in the off-season, and I expected more. 41 points is unacceptable. If the defense pulls itself together somehow and Orton continues to improve, I think we can take the North at least.
I would still contend that Grossman could be effective in this improved system, but I'm over it. The offensive line provided protection, Forte provides a competent running game, and the receivers (aside from some back-breaking drops) are doing a better job than I expected. I've always argued that the QB position only needs to be mechanically sound. If the rest of the offense is sound, we don't need a superhero.
We do need a defense. The same issues that plagued the offense last year (weak front line, lack of aggression) is now passed to the defense. All these guys got paid in the off-season, and I expected more. 41 points is unacceptable. If the defense pulls itself together somehow and Orton continues to improve, I think we can take the North at least.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 7 Picks
Last week should serve as an example to anyone inclined on placing a wager on any NFL sporting contest that YOU SHOULD NEVER BET ON FOOTBALL.
Seriously.
Crap teams were upending "Top 10" teams galore. Last week was, essentially, one huge upset. I had the foresight to indicate a bunch of trap games, but still got schooled on my picks. It was ugly.
To top it all off, I've been dead-sick all week and am just starting to feel better. I'm hoping that in my fevered delirium I'll make a bunch of prescient picks. I'm like the oracle of De-picks.
Sorry.
Last Week's Picks: 6/8
Season Record: 50/38
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (4-1) over Chargers (3-3)
The Williams suffered their first loss two weeks ago, and have had last week off to get over it. The Chargers are a decent team, but I'm not jumping off of the Bills bandwagon just yet.
Bears (3-3) over Vikings (3-3)
Wow, I'm still pissed at the Bears last-second (literally) loss last week. It was a fucking heart-breaker. Here's their shot at redemption (or descent into oblivion).
Postgame: Hey Babitch; WAKE THE FUCK UP! The Bears are getting killed late in games with the cover-two defense. You're not securing leads, you're blowing them. Cut it the fuck out! Yeesh.
Steelers (4-1) over Bengals (0-6)
This could be the hold-over upset game from last week. The win-less Bengals are going to do everything they can to steal a victory against this disorganized Steelers team.
Titans (5-0) over Chiefs (1-4)
Can anyone else believe that the Titans are the only team left this season without a loss? No, really.
Cowboys (4-2) over Rams (1-4)
The Hapless Rams slapped down a humiliating loss against my 'Skins last week and are now facing a Dallas team with either a crippled Romo or (ex-Skin) Brad Johnson behind center. It would be so sweet to have the Rams turn around and knock the depleted Cowboys in the teeth. Unfortunately, last week was a fluke, and the 'Boys would have to lose 8 more starters to make this an even match-up.
Postgame: Tony Romo should totally hang with Tom Brady and together watch their teams disintegrate without them at QB.
Dolphins (2-3) over Ravens (2-3)
Believe it or not, the Fish ain't bad this season. Here's a win for the home-team.
Giants (4-1) over 49ers (2-4)
The G-Men are coming off a huge embarrassment against the Browns last week. How to get the home-crowd back behind you? Beat the snot out of some chump team on your home turf. This one was made to order.
P.S. - Go Niners! A win here would rip the still-beating heart right from the chest of the reigning Super Bowl champs.
Panthers (4-2) over Saints (3-3)
This is going to be a good game - Close as hell. In situations like this one, I just pick the home-team and move on.
Late Sunday Games:
Texans (1-4) over Lions (0-5)
Welcome to the cellar of the NFL, kids. What's amazing is that the Lions are still in the playoff hunt without a win. The rest of the NFC North is tied for "first" at 3 and 3. If Detroit is smart, they'll just kick back and wait for the first pick of the '09 draft.
Jets (3-2) over Raiders (1-4)
The Jets are set to shine in this Favre showcase game. The Oakland pass defense is non-existent - Look for big numbers in this one and for (Raiders owner) Al Davis to leave the stadium on a gurney sometime in the 3rd quarter.
Postgame: Um... Nevermind.
Colts (3-2) over Packers (3-3)
With a Bears victory and a Packers loss, Chicago will be alone atop the NFC North. Question is: Does that really prove anything? It's kinda like being the most beautiful girl in Iqualuit.
Redskins (4-2) over Browns (2-3)
As I said last week; Once the Skins fuck-up a "gimme" game, they usually head into a tail-spin. The Browns are coming off a huge upending of the NY Football Giants last week. I just don't see a crap team winning two huge games back-to-back, and a good team dumping two "easy" matches. Watch me be wrong.
Sunday Night Game:
Buccaneers (4-2) over Seahawks (1-4)
This will be the first time in 476 weeks that John Madden will sit out a Sunday Night Football (previously Monday Night Football, prior to '06) game. Can you blame him? I'm not even gonna watch this dreck.
Monday Night Game:
Patriots (3-2) over Broncos (4-2)
C'mon New England. Here's your shot. Topple the over-rated Broncos and your back in the game - Lose this one, and you're just another page in the "Super Bowl Losers Big Book of Horrors".
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Seriously.
Crap teams were upending "Top 10" teams galore. Last week was, essentially, one huge upset. I had the foresight to indicate a bunch of trap games, but still got schooled on my picks. It was ugly.
To top it all off, I've been dead-sick all week and am just starting to feel better. I'm hoping that in my fevered delirium I'll make a bunch of prescient picks. I'm like the oracle of De-picks.
Sorry.
Last Week's Picks: 6/8
Season Record: 50/38
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (4-1) over Chargers (3-3)
The Williams suffered their first loss two weeks ago, and have had last week off to get over it. The Chargers are a decent team, but I'm not jumping off of the Bills bandwagon just yet.
Bears (3-3) over Vikings (3-3)
Wow, I'm still pissed at the Bears last-second (literally) loss last week. It was a fucking heart-breaker. Here's their shot at redemption (or descent into oblivion).
Postgame: Hey Babitch; WAKE THE FUCK UP! The Bears are getting killed late in games with the cover-two defense. You're not securing leads, you're blowing them. Cut it the fuck out! Yeesh.
Steelers (4-1) over Bengals (0-6)
This could be the hold-over upset game from last week. The win-less Bengals are going to do everything they can to steal a victory against this disorganized Steelers team.
Titans (5-0) over Chiefs (1-4)
Can anyone else believe that the Titans are the only team left this season without a loss? No, really.
Cowboys (4-2) over Rams (1-4)
The Hapless Rams slapped down a humiliating loss against my 'Skins last week and are now facing a Dallas team with either a crippled Romo or (ex-Skin) Brad Johnson behind center. It would be so sweet to have the Rams turn around and knock the depleted Cowboys in the teeth. Unfortunately, last week was a fluke, and the 'Boys would have to lose 8 more starters to make this an even match-up.
Postgame: Tony Romo should totally hang with Tom Brady and together watch their teams disintegrate without them at QB.
Dolphins (2-3) over Ravens (2-3)
Believe it or not, the Fish ain't bad this season. Here's a win for the home-team.
Giants (4-1) over 49ers (2-4)
The G-Men are coming off a huge embarrassment against the Browns last week. How to get the home-crowd back behind you? Beat the snot out of some chump team on your home turf. This one was made to order.
P.S. - Go Niners! A win here would rip the still-beating heart right from the chest of the reigning Super Bowl champs.
Panthers (4-2) over Saints (3-3)
This is going to be a good game - Close as hell. In situations like this one, I just pick the home-team and move on.
Late Sunday Games:
Texans (1-4) over Lions (0-5)
Welcome to the cellar of the NFL, kids. What's amazing is that the Lions are still in the playoff hunt without a win. The rest of the NFC North is tied for "first" at 3 and 3. If Detroit is smart, they'll just kick back and wait for the first pick of the '09 draft.
Jets (3-2) over Raiders (1-4)
The Jets are set to shine in this Favre showcase game. The Oakland pass defense is non-existent - Look for big numbers in this one and for (Raiders owner) Al Davis to leave the stadium on a gurney sometime in the 3rd quarter.
Postgame: Um... Nevermind.
Colts (3-2) over Packers (3-3)
With a Bears victory and a Packers loss, Chicago will be alone atop the NFC North. Question is: Does that really prove anything? It's kinda like being the most beautiful girl in Iqualuit.
Redskins (4-2) over Browns (2-3)
As I said last week; Once the Skins fuck-up a "gimme" game, they usually head into a tail-spin. The Browns are coming off a huge upending of the NY Football Giants last week. I just don't see a crap team winning two huge games back-to-back, and a good team dumping two "easy" matches. Watch me be wrong.
Sunday Night Game:
Buccaneers (4-2) over Seahawks (1-4)
This will be the first time in 476 weeks that John Madden will sit out a Sunday Night Football (previously Monday Night Football, prior to '06) game. Can you blame him? I'm not even gonna watch this dreck.
Monday Night Game:
Patriots (3-2) over Broncos (4-2)
C'mon New England. Here's your shot. Topple the over-rated Broncos and your back in the game - Lose this one, and you're just another page in the "Super Bowl Losers Big Book of Horrors".
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Huskies Win
The Huskies won their homecoming game today against Miami (Ohio).
What? Doesn't anyone care about the MAC?
What? Doesn't anyone care about the MAC?
The Liar's NFL Week 6 Picks
Last Sunday at 4PM, I was sitting pretty at 7 & 1. Then in the final six games it all fell apart - 2 & 4. I haven 't seen a second-half collapse like that since Grossman was behind center. Yeesh.
Anyway, This is a HUGE rock & roll weekend with Riot Fest, so I'm a bit preoccupied. Here's hoping that I get a few picks right this week before I'm benched and replaced by the neck-beard.
Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 44/30
Early Sunday Games:
Colts (2-2) over Ravens (2-2)
Man, the Clots are sucking it lately. To make matters worse, Bal'mer is gonna lay down another load of hurt down on an already shaky Indy offense. That being said, I think that Indy is a lot better than they're showing right now, and should be able to limp away with a win here.
Vikings (2-3) over Lions (0-4)
I've been tempted to pick every winless team this week. Week six is do-or die time, and all jobs are on the line. Rod Marinelli is hanging onto his coaching gig by his fingernails, and he's gonna come out swinging in this one. This one's rife for an upset, but I just don't think that the Motor City Kitties have what it takes to close the deal.
Saints (2-3) over Raiders (1-3)
Oi!, New Orleans. Fuck You.
You really screwed me on that STUPID loss to the Vikes last Monday. That was fucking terrible, you really should be ashamed. As long as I live I'm never gonna pick you to win another game, so help me God. And that's why I'm picking the Raide... Raiders?!? Um, nevermind.
Jets (2-2) over Bengals (0-5)
The Bengals have been playing their little hearts out lately, but still can't get a win. I don't see 'em getting their first victory this week, but it really is their best shot until week 8.
Bears (3-2) over Falcons (3-2)
This game makes me nervous. The Bears are playing great, but Atlanta is playing way better than they should be this year. Did you see the way they schooled the Packers last week (which I called, by the way)? It was brutal. This is exactly the kind of loss that seems to send the Bears into a tailspin every year. I broke the slump last week, and am keeping the faith this week.
Go Bears!
Postgame: Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!!!!
Panthers (4-1) over Buccaneers (3-2)
It's a showdown between the two fucking teams that eeked out wins over the Bears this season. Bastards. I hope you both lose.
Redskins (4-1) over Rams (0-4)
Hey, DC; TRAP GAME!!!
The Skins have a nasty habit of looking past the easy games and getting embarrassed when they're riding high. This is a classic "Washington gets pantsed by a team they should beat like a incontinent dog" game. WATCH OUT!
Dolphins (2-2) over Texans (0-4)
Hey, It's the showdown of the gayest names/helmets in the NFL! The Texans' desperation is palpable at this point - They're better than an 0 & 4 team, but just can't seem to squeeze out a win. They really need to grab a victory on the homefield, but I think that the Fish have turned the corner and are ready to make a move up to mediocrity.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (4-1) over Jaguars (2-3)
Every week I pick the Broncos to lose and get screwed. Every week I pick the Jags to win and get screwed. I think I see a pattern emerging. Watch this pick be wrong, then watch my head explode.
Eagles (2-3) over 49ers (2-3)
Whenever Westbrook is out, Philly sucks. Luckily for the Beagles, San Fran is struggling also. Look for Martz to open this one up - Plenty 'o' long passes and plenty 'o' turnovers. I see the Niners pulling out all the shots, but coming up just short.
Packers (2-3) over Seahawks (1-3)
'Shawks really need a win here before going on an extended road-trip over the next four weeks. I picked the Pack first, but then changed my mind when I realized the implications of a Seattle loss, and then changed it back when I realized that EdP would paint me as a flip-flopper in a series of negative attack ads if I did so.
Cowboys (4-1) over Cardinals (3-2)
Interesting tidbit: Before landing with the Rams, Kurt Warner was bagging groceries and playing arena-league ball in DesMoines. He really wanted to try out for the Bears in 1997, but couldn't even get through the front door. Two years later he led the Rams to a Super Bowl victory. Since Chicago passed, they've had 15 different starting QBs, and zero Super Bowl victories. Oh, well.
Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (3-1) over Chargers (2-3)
You lose one fucking regular-season game in the last year and a half, and everyone breaks their necks trying to jump off of the bandwagon. If the Pats have issues right now, then the Chargers have volumes.
Monday Night Game:
Giants (4-0) over Browns (1-3)
I really miss the days when the Giants were a huge joke and the couple of months last year when the Browns weren't.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Anyway, This is a HUGE rock & roll weekend with Riot Fest, so I'm a bit preoccupied. Here's hoping that I get a few picks right this week before I'm benched and replaced by the neck-beard.
Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 44/30
Early Sunday Games:
Colts (2-2) over Ravens (2-2)
Man, the Clots are sucking it lately. To make matters worse, Bal'mer is gonna lay down another load of hurt down on an already shaky Indy offense. That being said, I think that Indy is a lot better than they're showing right now, and should be able to limp away with a win here.
Vikings (2-3) over Lions (0-4)
I've been tempted to pick every winless team this week. Week six is do-or die time, and all jobs are on the line. Rod Marinelli is hanging onto his coaching gig by his fingernails, and he's gonna come out swinging in this one. This one's rife for an upset, but I just don't think that the Motor City Kitties have what it takes to close the deal.
Saints (2-3) over Raiders (1-3)
Oi!, New Orleans. Fuck You.
You really screwed me on that STUPID loss to the Vikes last Monday. That was fucking terrible, you really should be ashamed. As long as I live I'm never gonna pick you to win another game, so help me God. And that's why I'm picking the Raide... Raiders?!? Um, nevermind.
Jets (2-2) over Bengals (0-5)
The Bengals have been playing their little hearts out lately, but still can't get a win. I don't see 'em getting their first victory this week, but it really is their best shot until week 8.
Bears (3-2) over Falcons (3-2)
This game makes me nervous. The Bears are playing great, but Atlanta is playing way better than they should be this year. Did you see the way they schooled the Packers last week (which I called, by the way)? It was brutal. This is exactly the kind of loss that seems to send the Bears into a tailspin every year. I broke the slump last week, and am keeping the faith this week.
Go Bears!
Postgame: Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!!!!
Panthers (4-1) over Buccaneers (3-2)
It's a showdown between the two fucking teams that eeked out wins over the Bears this season. Bastards. I hope you both lose.
Redskins (4-1) over Rams (0-4)
Hey, DC; TRAP GAME!!!
The Skins have a nasty habit of looking past the easy games and getting embarrassed when they're riding high. This is a classic "Washington gets pantsed by a team they should beat like a incontinent dog" game. WATCH OUT!
Dolphins (2-2) over Texans (0-4)
Hey, It's the showdown of the gayest names/helmets in the NFL! The Texans' desperation is palpable at this point - They're better than an 0 & 4 team, but just can't seem to squeeze out a win. They really need to grab a victory on the homefield, but I think that the Fish have turned the corner and are ready to make a move up to mediocrity.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (4-1) over Jaguars (2-3)
Every week I pick the Broncos to lose and get screwed. Every week I pick the Jags to win and get screwed. I think I see a pattern emerging. Watch this pick be wrong, then watch my head explode.
Eagles (2-3) over 49ers (2-3)
Whenever Westbrook is out, Philly sucks. Luckily for the Beagles, San Fran is struggling also. Look for Martz to open this one up - Plenty 'o' long passes and plenty 'o' turnovers. I see the Niners pulling out all the shots, but coming up just short.
Packers (2-3) over Seahawks (1-3)
'Shawks really need a win here before going on an extended road-trip over the next four weeks. I picked the Pack first, but then changed my mind when I realized the implications of a Seattle loss, and then changed it back when I realized that EdP would paint me as a flip-flopper in a series of negative attack ads if I did so.
Cowboys (4-1) over Cardinals (3-2)
Interesting tidbit: Before landing with the Rams, Kurt Warner was bagging groceries and playing arena-league ball in DesMoines. He really wanted to try out for the Bears in 1997, but couldn't even get through the front door. Two years later he led the Rams to a Super Bowl victory. Since Chicago passed, they've had 15 different starting QBs, and zero Super Bowl victories. Oh, well.
Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (3-1) over Chargers (2-3)
You lose one fucking regular-season game in the last year and a half, and everyone breaks their necks trying to jump off of the bandwagon. If the Pats have issues right now, then the Chargers have volumes.
Monday Night Game:
Giants (4-0) over Browns (1-3)
I really miss the days when the Giants were a huge joke and the couple of months last year when the Browns weren't.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Friday, October 10, 2008
I Break My Silence
We all know that I am the least qualified to contribute to this blog. However, even a complete dumbass, when it comes to sports analysis, can recognize a dunderheaded, pants peeing fuck-up of a quarterback when he sees one. Chris, your last post proves that you have fallen in love with another man.
Good day, sir.
Good day, sir.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Not Over Grossman
Firts of all, Orton is doing a fine job. I like that he changes the play at the line on occasion, even if it gets him in trouble. I also like how he moves in the pocket when it does collapse. He is not stellar with passing, though. I've seen as many passes that required adjustment by the receiver than good passes. And there's no long ball threat yet.
I would argue, though, that with a line that offers some protection, and a quality running back, Grossman would be a more complete QB for us. He had some difficulties with protecting the ball, but that was when he got rushed every single down. I mean, Forte would be having an even better year once Grossman connected with Booker, Lloyd, or Hester down field. The last time Grossman had a running game and o-line protection, the Bears went to the Superbowl.
I'm not downplaying Orton, I'm just saying that I still believe that Grossman is the better QB. If it takes benching your better QB and revamping the entire scheme to win games, so be it.
I would argue, though, that with a line that offers some protection, and a quality running back, Grossman would be a more complete QB for us. He had some difficulties with protecting the ball, but that was when he got rushed every single down. I mean, Forte would be having an even better year once Grossman connected with Booker, Lloyd, or Hester down field. The last time Grossman had a running game and o-line protection, the Bears went to the Superbowl.
I'm not downplaying Orton, I'm just saying that I still believe that Grossman is the better QB. If it takes benching your better QB and revamping the entire scheme to win games, so be it.
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 5 Picks
I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs. I'm not gonna talk about the Cubs.
Stupid fucking Cubs.
Now that my thoughts on the MLB playoffs are out of the way, I can focus exclusively on the great sport of tackle-football. I'm sure that the Bears would never break my heart like the Cubs so often do, or as the Bears have so many times since 1985... D'oh.
Last Week's Picks: 9/4
Season Record: 35/25
Early Sunday Games:
Bears (2-2) over Lions (0-3)
Here's the slump buster, baby.
So far, I haven't picked one Bears game correctly this season (I even took one for the team last week), but I can't logically pick the fucking Lions in this one - Just can't do it. If Chicago takes a cue from their local MLB compatriots and pisses this one away, I may be forced to pick against 'em for the remainder of the season. For the good of the team (of course).
Falcons (2-2) over Packers (2-2)
Look at the big balls on the Liar with this one! Picking the reigning NFC North champs to lose to the upstart Falcons at Lambeau.
Damn.
Chargers (2-2) over Dolphins (1-2)
I'd like to see the Fish to lay a whompin' down on the Bolts in this one. Then again, I'd like to see the Cubs with a two game lead going into LA this weekend. Ain't gonna happen.
Postgame: It happened! Does this mean that the Cubs are still in it too? No? Crap.
Giants (3-0) over Seahawks (1-2)
If the Cowboys weren't playing the Bengals this week, this would be the most lop-sided game this week. Thankfully for the Shawks, the Bengals suck slightly more.
Redskins (3-1) over Eagles (2-2)
Am I the only motherfucker picking the 'Skins in this one?!?!? What the hell? It's like no one else is even bothering to watch the fucking games.
Panthers (3-1) over Chiefs (1-3)
The Chiefs got their win for the season last week, now they can sit back, relax, and wait for the off-season.
Titans (4-0) over Ravens (2-1)
Baltimore is back at home and unholy pissed about losing the Monday nighter in Pittsburgh. The Titans' offense is in for a world of hurt, but they should be able to walk away with a win (as long as they don't let in Vince Young behind center).
Colts (1-2) over Texans (0-3)
The Texicans are itching for a win, and they've got a good shot at crowning one on the once-mighty Colts, but I've got to believe that last week's bye gave Indy the opportunity to shore-up their team. I'm reluctantly going with the Colts to grab a win in Houston this week.
Late Sunday Games:
Buccaneers (3-1) over Broncos (3-1)
I really can't get a read on how good either of these teams are right now. It's freaky. The Bucs are turning over the ball left and right and still finding a way to win. The Broncos are getting lucky and winning games at the very last minute. I would just pick the home team in this one, but I think that the Bucs are just good enough to win on the road in Denver.
Cowboys (3-1) over Bengals (0-4)
Bwaaaah! Ha... Um, this should --giggle-- be a real good --snicker-- game. And if the --giggle-- Bengals can focus --snicker--, then they might have a --giggle-- shot at an... Bwaahaaaa, haa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! --wiping away tears-- I can't do it anymore; let's move on.
Bills (4-0) over Cardinals (2-2)
I'm amazed at how many "experts" are picking Arizona in this one. Are these the same Cardinals that got 56 points scored on 'em last week, or are they letting the St. Louis MLB franchise play against the Bills with bats in hand?
Okay, I'd so watch that, but I'm pretty sure that they're playing the Arizona Cardinals with Kurt Warner at QB. I just don't get it.
Patriots (2-1) over 49ers (2-2)
Last time we saw the Pats they were slinking out of Gillette stadium a couple of weeks ago after getting WHOMPED by the Miami Dolphins. Here's another suck team and a small shot at redemption - They'd better win this one, or they're gonna be the laughingstocks of the NFL.
Sunday Night Game:
Jaguars (2-2) over Steelers (3-1)
The Steelers looked like hell in Monday's match-up against Baltimore and Jacksonville really needs a win right here. This one could go either way, but the Steelers have been skating and the Jags are hungry. I smell an upset a'brewin.
Monday Night Game:
Saints (2-2) over Vikings (1-3)
Are the Saints really that good? Nope.
Are the Vikings really that bad? Yup.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Stupid fucking Cubs.
Now that my thoughts on the MLB playoffs are out of the way, I can focus exclusively on the great sport of tackle-football. I'm sure that the Bears would never break my heart like the Cubs so often do, or as the Bears have so many times since 1985... D'oh.
Last Week's Picks: 9/4
Season Record: 35/25
Early Sunday Games:
Bears (2-2) over Lions (0-3)
Here's the slump buster, baby.
So far, I haven't picked one Bears game correctly this season (I even took one for the team last week), but I can't logically pick the fucking Lions in this one - Just can't do it. If Chicago takes a cue from their local MLB compatriots and pisses this one away, I may be forced to pick against 'em for the remainder of the season. For the good of the team (of course).
Falcons (2-2) over Packers (2-2)
Look at the big balls on the Liar with this one! Picking the reigning NFC North champs to lose to the upstart Falcons at Lambeau.
Damn.
Chargers (2-2) over Dolphins (1-2)
I'd like to see the Fish to lay a whompin' down on the Bolts in this one. Then again, I'd like to see the Cubs with a two game lead going into LA this weekend. Ain't gonna happen.
Postgame: It happened! Does this mean that the Cubs are still in it too? No? Crap.
Giants (3-0) over Seahawks (1-2)
If the Cowboys weren't playing the Bengals this week, this would be the most lop-sided game this week. Thankfully for the Shawks, the Bengals suck slightly more.
Redskins (3-1) over Eagles (2-2)
Am I the only motherfucker picking the 'Skins in this one?!?!? What the hell? It's like no one else is even bothering to watch the fucking games.
Panthers (3-1) over Chiefs (1-3)
The Chiefs got their win for the season last week, now they can sit back, relax, and wait for the off-season.
Titans (4-0) over Ravens (2-1)
Baltimore is back at home and unholy pissed about losing the Monday nighter in Pittsburgh. The Titans' offense is in for a world of hurt, but they should be able to walk away with a win (as long as they don't let in Vince Young behind center).
Colts (1-2) over Texans (0-3)
The Texicans are itching for a win, and they've got a good shot at crowning one on the once-mighty Colts, but I've got to believe that last week's bye gave Indy the opportunity to shore-up their team. I'm reluctantly going with the Colts to grab a win in Houston this week.
Late Sunday Games:
Buccaneers (3-1) over Broncos (3-1)
I really can't get a read on how good either of these teams are right now. It's freaky. The Bucs are turning over the ball left and right and still finding a way to win. The Broncos are getting lucky and winning games at the very last minute. I would just pick the home team in this one, but I think that the Bucs are just good enough to win on the road in Denver.
Cowboys (3-1) over Bengals (0-4)
Bwaaaah! Ha... Um, this should --giggle-- be a real good --snicker-- game. And if the --giggle-- Bengals can focus --snicker--, then they might have a --giggle-- shot at an... Bwaahaaaa, haa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! --wiping away tears-- I can't do it anymore; let's move on.
Bills (4-0) over Cardinals (2-2)
I'm amazed at how many "experts" are picking Arizona in this one. Are these the same Cardinals that got 56 points scored on 'em last week, or are they letting the St. Louis MLB franchise play against the Bills with bats in hand?
Okay, I'd so watch that, but I'm pretty sure that they're playing the Arizona Cardinals with Kurt Warner at QB. I just don't get it.
Patriots (2-1) over 49ers (2-2)
Last time we saw the Pats they were slinking out of Gillette stadium a couple of weeks ago after getting WHOMPED by the Miami Dolphins. Here's another suck team and a small shot at redemption - They'd better win this one, or they're gonna be the laughingstocks of the NFL.
Sunday Night Game:
Jaguars (2-2) over Steelers (3-1)
The Steelers looked like hell in Monday's match-up against Baltimore and Jacksonville really needs a win right here. This one could go either way, but the Steelers have been skating and the Jags are hungry. I smell an upset a'brewin.
Monday Night Game:
Saints (2-2) over Vikings (1-3)
Are the Saints really that good? Nope.
Are the Vikings really that bad? Yup.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 4 Picks
Last week I broke even with my picks, so we've all learned that quickly picking games at 3AM after a night of drinking and before another day of drinking isn't the best strategy for a winning record - That blew my theorem all to hell.
If I don't do any better than .500 this week, I'm going back to the drinkin' method and writing this season off as a loss - It seems to have worked for the White Sox.
Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 26/21
Early Sunday Games:
Titans (3-0) over Vikings (1-2)
In Greek mythology the sun-god was known as Titan (aka: Helios/Hyperion). The vikings were medieval raiders from the Scandinavian region. Norsemen and sun just don't mix. In fact, Gundy will burst into flame if exposed to direct sunlight for any longer than 23 minutes (I've seen it - it ain't pretty). Due to this startling revelation, I'm forced to pick the Titans to vanquish the Vikings down in ye olde fabled land of Tennessee.
Broncos (3-0) over Chiefs (0-3)
Okay, I was wrong about the Broncos sucking it. Shut up about it already. On the other hand, I was dead-on in stating that the Chiefs were the worst team in the NFL this season. Here's hoping that they can pull off the "perfect" 0&16 record that eluded the 'Fins last year.
Postgame: Okay; fuck it. I give up.
Saints (2-1) over 49ers (1-2)
I really wouldn't be surprised if the 49ers could pull off a win here, but I think that the 'Aints have a distinct advantage at their refugee-encrusted Metrodome.
Jets (1-2) over Cardinals (2-1)
Brett Favre -vs- Kurt Warner, That match-up might have meant something 9 years ago. Now, not so much.
Packers (2-1) over Buccaneers (2-1)
I really want the Bucs to win this one for the sake of NFC North parity, but if (ex-Bear QB) Brian Griessee can pull off another brilliant win, that'll just send me into another rage with the throwing of shit, gnashing of teeth, speaking in tongues, and whatnot.
Panthers (2-1) over Falcons (2-1)
This should be a pretty good game, which is a minor-miracle considering how blowful both of these teams were last year.
Jaguars (1-2) over Texans (0-2)
Hey, Texans fans, buck up! You might be 0&2 (soon to be 0&3), be Hurricane prone, and be consistently within the bottom-half of the rankings, but if you had it your way you'd also be stuck with Vince Young instead of Mario Williams, and that would be a damn shame.
Browns (0-3) over Bengals (0-3)
Remember all that stuff that I said last year about the Bears stepping up and doing anything to land Derrick Anderson once his contract expires with Cleveland? Well, nevermind - Please disregard.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (1-2) over Raiders (1-2)
Next to Al Davis, Mike Millen looks like Stephen Fucking Hawking.
Bills (3-0) over Rams (0-3)
The "Buffalo Bills Shout":
Shout! Buffalo's happen' now.
Shout! We're on the move now.
Shout! The Bills are happenin' now.
Shout! They're makin' it happen now.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! A lotta' spirit, yea.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! Just watch it happen now.
-vs-
The "St. Louis Rams Shout":
Dammit!
Cowboys (3-0) over Redskins (2-1)
I really, really, really hope I'm wrong on this pick (and the next one), but I'm picking with my head rather than my heart (for once). Let's see how that works.
Regardless, I'm gonna be glued in front & center of the tube for this one. Go Skins!
Postgame: Who's the best team in the NFL now, bitches? All hail the Redskins!
Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (2-1) over Bears (1-2)
I have not called one single Bears game correctly this season. Every game I pick 'em to win; they lose - Every game I pick 'em to lose; they win.
I'm doing you a favor here guys, now take a cue from North Chi-Town and be more like the '08 Cubs and less like the '08 Sox; okay?
Postgame: That's the last time I listen to my brain. If I would have picked with my heart, I'd have been 11&1 at this point.
Monday Night Game:
Steelers (2-1) over Ravens (2-0)
I'm amazed that the purple-peckers are doing as well as they are; dead-amazed. If they can win this game, I'll be on board 100% and cede the AFC North crown to 'em immediately. I don't think they have what it takes to beat Pittsburgh, but then again, I didn't think that Philly had what it took either. We'll see.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
If I don't do any better than .500 this week, I'm going back to the drinkin' method and writing this season off as a loss - It seems to have worked for the White Sox.
Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 26/21
Early Sunday Games:
Titans (3-0) over Vikings (1-2)
In Greek mythology the sun-god was known as Titan (aka: Helios/Hyperion). The vikings were medieval raiders from the Scandinavian region. Norsemen and sun just don't mix. In fact, Gundy will burst into flame if exposed to direct sunlight for any longer than 23 minutes (I've seen it - it ain't pretty). Due to this startling revelation, I'm forced to pick the Titans to vanquish the Vikings down in ye olde fabled land of Tennessee.
Broncos (3-0) over Chiefs (0-3)
Okay, I was wrong about the Broncos sucking it. Shut up about it already. On the other hand, I was dead-on in stating that the Chiefs were the worst team in the NFL this season. Here's hoping that they can pull off the "perfect" 0&16 record that eluded the 'Fins last year.
Postgame: Okay; fuck it. I give up.
Saints (2-1) over 49ers (1-2)
I really wouldn't be surprised if the 49ers could pull off a win here, but I think that the 'Aints have a distinct advantage at their refugee-encrusted Metrodome.
Jets (1-2) over Cardinals (2-1)
Brett Favre -vs- Kurt Warner, That match-up might have meant something 9 years ago. Now, not so much.
Packers (2-1) over Buccaneers (2-1)
I really want the Bucs to win this one for the sake of NFC North parity, but if (ex-Bear QB) Brian Griessee can pull off another brilliant win, that'll just send me into another rage with the throwing of shit, gnashing of teeth, speaking in tongues, and whatnot.
Panthers (2-1) over Falcons (2-1)
This should be a pretty good game, which is a minor-miracle considering how blowful both of these teams were last year.
Jaguars (1-2) over Texans (0-2)
Hey, Texans fans, buck up! You might be 0&2 (soon to be 0&3), be Hurricane prone, and be consistently within the bottom-half of the rankings, but if you had it your way you'd also be stuck with Vince Young instead of Mario Williams, and that would be a damn shame.
Browns (0-3) over Bengals (0-3)
Remember all that stuff that I said last year about the Bears stepping up and doing anything to land Derrick Anderson once his contract expires with Cleveland? Well, nevermind - Please disregard.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (1-2) over Raiders (1-2)
Next to Al Davis, Mike Millen looks like Stephen Fucking Hawking.
Bills (3-0) over Rams (0-3)
The "Buffalo Bills Shout":
Shout! Buffalo's happen' now.
Shout! We're on the move now.
Shout! The Bills are happenin' now.
Shout! They're makin' it happen now.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! A lotta' spirit, yea.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! Just watch it happen now.
-vs-
The "St. Louis Rams Shout":
Dammit!
Cowboys (3-0) over Redskins (2-1)
I really, really, really hope I'm wrong on this pick (and the next one), but I'm picking with my head rather than my heart (for once). Let's see how that works.
Regardless, I'm gonna be glued in front & center of the tube for this one. Go Skins!
Postgame: Who's the best team in the NFL now, bitches? All hail the Redskins!
Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (2-1) over Bears (1-2)
I have not called one single Bears game correctly this season. Every game I pick 'em to win; they lose - Every game I pick 'em to lose; they win.
I'm doing you a favor here guys, now take a cue from North Chi-Town and be more like the '08 Cubs and less like the '08 Sox; okay?
Postgame: That's the last time I listen to my brain. If I would have picked with my heart, I'd have been 11&1 at this point.
Monday Night Game:
Steelers (2-1) over Ravens (2-0)
I'm amazed that the purple-peckers are doing as well as they are; dead-amazed. If they can win this game, I'll be on board 100% and cede the AFC North crown to 'em immediately. I don't think they have what it takes to beat Pittsburgh, but then again, I didn't think that Philly had what it took either. We'll see.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Monday, September 22, 2008
"ALL THE WAY"-A CHICAGO CUBS TRIBUTE BY EDDIE VEDDER
Cool video and here are the lyrics
Don't let anyone say that it's just a game.
For I've seen other teams and it's never the same.
When you're born in Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed.
First time (every time!) you walk into Wrigley Field.
Our hero's wear pinstripes; hero's in blue.
They give us the chance to feel like hero's too.
Whether we'll win, and if we should lose,
We know someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Yeah hold our head high as the underdog.
We are not fair weather but foul weather fans!
We're like brothers in arms in the streets and the stands.
There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
A world full of greed I could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
[Instrumental bridge]
And here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Teaching us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "Oh let's play two."
Or did he mean 200 years?
In the same ballpark, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our tears.
Keeping traditions and wishes made new.
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
A spiritual feeling if I ever knew.
And if you ain't been I am sorry for you.
And when the day comes, when that last winning run,
And I'm crying and covered in beer.
I'll look to the sky and know I was right.
To think someday we'll go all the way,
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
Don't let anyone say that it's just a game.
For I've seen other teams and it's never the same.
When you're born in Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed.
First time (every time!) you walk into Wrigley Field.
Our hero's wear pinstripes; hero's in blue.
They give us the chance to feel like hero's too.
Whether we'll win, and if we should lose,
We know someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Yeah hold our head high as the underdog.
We are not fair weather but foul weather fans!
We're like brothers in arms in the streets and the stands.
There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
A world full of greed I could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
[Instrumental bridge]
And here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Teaching us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "Oh let's play two."
Or did he mean 200 years?
In the same ballpark, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our tears.
Keeping traditions and wishes made new.
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
A spiritual feeling if I ever knew.
And if you ain't been I am sorry for you.
And when the day comes, when that last winning run,
And I'm crying and covered in beer.
I'll look to the sky and know I was right.
To think someday we'll go all the way,
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
An Open Letter to CBS Sports
Note: I sent this letter -- verbatim-- (via e-mail) to CBSsports.com:
You dirty motherfuckers,
I've just watched an ENTIRE broadcast (Eagles -vs- Steelers) on CBS (Channel 2 Chicago - HD) without sound.
Please refrain from carrying NFL games in the future (as it is apparently far beyond your capabilities). I understand that ABC is hungry for an NFL contract, and I (for one) applaud their efforts if that means less (or no games) on CBS.
Please stick to reality shows wherein the contestants consume animal genitalia and/or reruns of 'Matlock' for your geriatric demographic.
You truly suck - The 'Eye' is blind (and --apparently-- deaf).
Furthermore, I sincerely hope that all of your children are birthed stillborn.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
You dirty motherfuckers,
I've just watched an ENTIRE broadcast (Eagles -vs- Steelers) on CBS (Channel 2 Chicago - HD) without sound.
Please refrain from carrying NFL games in the future (as it is apparently far beyond your capabilities). I understand that ABC is hungry for an NFL contract, and I (for one) applaud their efforts if that means less (or no games) on CBS.
Please stick to reality shows wherein the contestants consume animal genitalia and/or reruns of 'Matlock' for your geriatric demographic.
You truly suck - The 'Eye' is blind (and --apparently-- deaf).
Furthermore, I sincerely hope that all of your children are birthed stillborn.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 3 Picks
OK, Kids,
I have about 9 hours between the Dillinger Four show and the Hideout block party to get up my picks, so this fucker's gonna be bare-boned - Feel free to insert all of your team-records and/or pithy remarks proceeding each pick.
Last Week's Picks: 9/6
Season Record: 18/13
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons over Chiefs
Bills over Raiders
Bears over Buccaneers
Panthers over Vikings
Patriots over Dolphins
Giants over Bengals
Titans over Texans
Redskins over Cardinals
Late Sunday Games:
49ers over Lions
Seahawks over Rams
Saints over Broncos
Steelers over Eagles
Colts over Jaguars
Browns over Ravens
Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys over Packers
Monday Night Game:
Jets over Chargers
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
I have about 9 hours between the Dillinger Four show and the Hideout block party to get up my picks, so this fucker's gonna be bare-boned - Feel free to insert all of your team-records and/or pithy remarks proceeding each pick.
Last Week's Picks: 9/6
Season Record: 18/13
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons over Chiefs
Bills over Raiders
Bears over Buccaneers
Panthers over Vikings
Patriots over Dolphins
Giants over Bengals
Titans over Texans
Redskins over Cardinals
Late Sunday Games:
49ers over Lions
Seahawks over Rams
Saints over Broncos
Steelers over Eagles
Colts over Jaguars
Browns over Ravens
Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys over Packers
Monday Night Game:
Jets over Chargers
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 2 Picks
A lot of surprises last week, kids. It makes for great television and crappy records. The damnedest thing is that most of my crazy long-shot picks went through, and my sure thing picks floundered. That's football - Here's hoping that the interesting times keep on coming. I'd gladly sacrifice a winning record for 15 more weeks of break-neck (break-knee) football. Huzzah!
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 9/7
Early Sunday Games:
Packers (1-0) over Lions (0-1)
I got every NFC North pick wrong last week. Yikes.
If the Lions couldn't win against the Falcons last week, I don't know who they can beat... Well, they have the 49ers next week, but that's the only game I'd pick 'em in all season.
Chiefs (0-1) over Raiders (0-1)
The Germans call this one "Das Suckenfest". This game could very well decide the worst team in the NFL right now. I'm just picking the home team and glad that I have something else to watch.
Giants (1-0) over Rams (0-1)
I'm really hoping that the Rams somehow pull off this win. It ain't gonna happen, but would cause every single one of the professional football prognosticators heads to collectively explode, and that's good television right there.
Colts (0-1) over Vikings (0-1)
I'm sooo glad that my Bears got the Colts in week one - The Chicago Ursines played one hell of a game, but P. Manning was only 75% in that game. I have a feeling that they're gonna get their shit together quick and pull even this week.
Titans (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
The Titans are about 80% better without the suicidal wondertard behind center - Really. The Bungles couldn't even beat the fucking Ravens last week. This one's a no-brainer.
Redskins (0-1) over Saints (1-0)
Granted, I'm a Skins fan and often pick 'em when I really shouldn't, but I truly believe that they have the edge in this one. They're gonna need to pick up some wins outside their NFC North division (Eagles, Giants, Cowboys) if they want to make the playoffs again this year - This is a prime "need to win" game for Washington.
Bears (1-0) over Panthers (1-0)
Both of these teams slayed giants (of the non-NY variety) last week. The Panthers are getting accolades and the Bears are getting dismissed as a fluke. My belief is that the Colts would have beat the hell out of the Chargers or the Panthers last week. Here's Chicago's chance to prove me right. Nonetheless, this should be one HARD-NOSED game - I can't wait.
Bills (1-0) over Jaguars (0-1)
The Jags managed to knock out Tenesee's starting QB last week (which automatically made the Titans twice as good), Then they lost. The Bills managed to get a win over the neuvo-suck Seahawks. I'm going with Buffalo, but I don't have any rational explanation as to why.
Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks (0-1) over 49ers (0-1)
I just said that the Shawks are gawd-awful now, right? Well, they're still better than the 49ers. I hope.
Buccaneers (0-1) over Falcons (1-0)
I really want to pick the Falcons, but the Bucs are dumping Garcia for... drumroll please... wait for it... B-R-I-A-N G-R-I-E-S-E!!!
Oh shit; is it too late to change my pick?
Jets (1-0) over Patriots (1-0)
Matt Cassel (the New Pats QB) hasn't started in a football game since 1999 (in High School). Brett Favre (the New Jets QB) holds the record for most consecutive starts as an NFL quarterback at 254 (276 including playoffs).
Um... I think I'll go with New York on this one.
Dolphins (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)
I'm picking against reason on this one, but I can't help but wonder which is the greater accomplishment; losing to Brett Favre & the Jets by 6 points with 10 seconds left on the clock or scoring a gimme win over the pathetic 49ers?
Chargers (0-1) over Broncos (1-0)
I'd love for the Broncos to win this one, but can they? Check the pick.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Pittsburgh is looking more and more like the AFC Super Bowl pick for this season. The Browns are a good team, but have faced possibly the two best teams in the NFL right out of the gate.
Monday Night Games:
Cowboys (1-0) over Eagles (1-0)
Hey, Philly, running up a 35 point surplus against the St Louis Rams is like winning a prize-fight against Stephen Hawking. If you want any respect, you're gonna have to beat a good team - Here's your chance.
Texans (0-1) over Ravens (1-0) - POSTPONED
Best Case Scenario: Hurricane Ike keeps blowing this turd right off of the schedule.
Update: This game got blown back to November 9th.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 9/7
Early Sunday Games:
Packers (1-0) over Lions (0-1)
I got every NFC North pick wrong last week. Yikes.
If the Lions couldn't win against the Falcons last week, I don't know who they can beat... Well, they have the 49ers next week, but that's the only game I'd pick 'em in all season.
Chiefs (0-1) over Raiders (0-1)
The Germans call this one "Das Suckenfest". This game could very well decide the worst team in the NFL right now. I'm just picking the home team and glad that I have something else to watch.
Giants (1-0) over Rams (0-1)
I'm really hoping that the Rams somehow pull off this win. It ain't gonna happen, but would cause every single one of the professional football prognosticators heads to collectively explode, and that's good television right there.
Colts (0-1) over Vikings (0-1)
I'm sooo glad that my Bears got the Colts in week one - The Chicago Ursines played one hell of a game, but P. Manning was only 75% in that game. I have a feeling that they're gonna get their shit together quick and pull even this week.
Titans (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
The Titans are about 80% better without the suicidal wondertard behind center - Really. The Bungles couldn't even beat the fucking Ravens last week. This one's a no-brainer.
Redskins (0-1) over Saints (1-0)
Granted, I'm a Skins fan and often pick 'em when I really shouldn't, but I truly believe that they have the edge in this one. They're gonna need to pick up some wins outside their NFC North division (Eagles, Giants, Cowboys) if they want to make the playoffs again this year - This is a prime "need to win" game for Washington.
Bears (1-0) over Panthers (1-0)
Both of these teams slayed giants (of the non-NY variety) last week. The Panthers are getting accolades and the Bears are getting dismissed as a fluke. My belief is that the Colts would have beat the hell out of the Chargers or the Panthers last week. Here's Chicago's chance to prove me right. Nonetheless, this should be one HARD-NOSED game - I can't wait.
Bills (1-0) over Jaguars (0-1)
The Jags managed to knock out Tenesee's starting QB last week (which automatically made the Titans twice as good), Then they lost. The Bills managed to get a win over the neuvo-suck Seahawks. I'm going with Buffalo, but I don't have any rational explanation as to why.
Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks (0-1) over 49ers (0-1)
I just said that the Shawks are gawd-awful now, right? Well, they're still better than the 49ers. I hope.
Buccaneers (0-1) over Falcons (1-0)
I really want to pick the Falcons, but the Bucs are dumping Garcia for... drumroll please... wait for it... B-R-I-A-N G-R-I-E-S-E!!!
Oh shit; is it too late to change my pick?
Jets (1-0) over Patriots (1-0)
Matt Cassel (the New Pats QB) hasn't started in a football game since 1999 (in High School). Brett Favre (the New Jets QB) holds the record for most consecutive starts as an NFL quarterback at 254 (276 including playoffs).
Um... I think I'll go with New York on this one.
Dolphins (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)
I'm picking against reason on this one, but I can't help but wonder which is the greater accomplishment; losing to Brett Favre & the Jets by 6 points with 10 seconds left on the clock or scoring a gimme win over the pathetic 49ers?
Chargers (0-1) over Broncos (1-0)
I'd love for the Broncos to win this one, but can they? Check the pick.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Pittsburgh is looking more and more like the AFC Super Bowl pick for this season. The Browns are a good team, but have faced possibly the two best teams in the NFL right out of the gate.
Monday Night Games:
Cowboys (1-0) over Eagles (1-0)
Hey, Philly, running up a 35 point surplus against the St Louis Rams is like winning a prize-fight against Stephen Hawking. If you want any respect, you're gonna have to beat a good team - Here's your chance.
Texans (0-1) over Ravens (1-0) - POSTPONED
Best Case Scenario: Hurricane Ike keeps blowing this turd right off of the schedule.
Update: This game got blown back to November 9th.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lilly kicking some ass...
I love this little angry man... Toughest guy on our team is a 5 foot nothing pitcher.
http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200809103452671
http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200809103452671
Let me know when I can open my eyes...
The Cubs are going to give me a heart attack. I hold my breath and want to puke at the same time.
The Cubs better reach down and pull there heads out of there arse's now. They have to run one hell of a gauntlet in Sept. I think I would rather punch myself in the balls repeatedly than endure the stress of this run into the playoffs.
Tonight: at St. Louis
Friday-Sunday: at Houston
Sept. 16-18: vs. Milwaukee
Sept. 19-21: vs. St. Louis
Sept. 22-25: at New York
Sept. 26-28: at Milwaukee
All teams above .500 and in a playoff race.
The Cubs better reach down and pull there heads out of there arse's now. They have to run one hell of a gauntlet in Sept. I think I would rather punch myself in the balls repeatedly than endure the stress of this run into the playoffs.
Tonight: at St. Louis
Friday-Sunday: at Houston
Sept. 16-18: vs. Milwaukee
Sept. 19-21: vs. St. Louis
Sept. 22-25: at New York
Sept. 26-28: at Milwaukee
All teams above .500 and in a playoff race.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 1 Picks
This is it - The dawn of a new NFL season. I got schooled in the play-offs last year, but I'm back and ready to redeem myself in the eyes of the unknown internet masses.
Here we go:
2007/2008 Season Record: 176/91
2008/2009 Season Record: 0/0
Thursday Night Game:
Redskins (0-0) over Giants (0-0)
I'm probably the only sucker demented enough to take this bet, but I really think that the Skins are gonna waltz in to NY and take this one. Why? Because A) The Giants are playing 7 new players on Defense this year - Last year's Super Bowl D is long gone; B) The Skins always find a way to win against the Giants (think Bears over the Pack twice last year); and C) My first pick is always wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Lions (0-0) over Falcons (0-0)
The '08/'09 Lions aren't anything special, but they just might win 10 games this season if they can finagle 9 more match-ups with the Falcons.
Postgame: Ha, ha - You suck, Detroit. Welcome back to the basement of the NFC North where you belong.
Bills (0-0) over Seahawks (0-0)
My man-crush on the Buffalo Williams continues. I'm picking 'em at home, even though the Shawks are the better team.
Jets (0-0) over Dolphins (0-0)
Word on the street is that the NY Jets got a new QB in the off-season. I'm interested in what this Favre guy can do.
Patriots (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
The rumor mill is buzzing about Golden-Boy Brady's sore right foot and Super Bowl runner-up curses. The Chiefs are probably the worst team in the league right now. The Pats could win this one bristling with voodoo pins and with a make-a-wish kid behind center.
Postgame: Right foot be damned; that left leg is FUCKED UP. There really might be something to this Super-Bowl runner-up curse thing.
Saints (0-0) over Buccaneers (0-0)
Why the hell am I picking the Floodtowners to win this one? I have no idea. Tampa has the better team and sentimentality only goes so far, but here we are.
Eagles (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Both of these teams are broken. The Rams jettisoned Mike Martz - Bad move. The Eagles kept Andy Reid - Bad Move. The real questions for these two teams this year are legal rather than athletic. Reid has to wonder just how many more family members he'll have to go visit in prison before the playoffs, and the Rams have to wonder if Ricky Manning Jr will get arrested again at a Denny's on his way to a game. I say 2 and Shoney's.
Steelers (0-0) over Texans (0-0)
Steelers. Next.
Jaguars (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
This should really be a great game. Too bad that I just don't care.
Bengals (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)
As lost as the Bengals seemed to be in the off-season, they looked like precision personified when compared to the Ravens.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)
God, do I want the Chargers to suck it this year. This isn't gonna be the week that they start losing, though.
Postgame: Suck it, San Diego.
Cardinals (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
Breaking News: The UN has just sought a court-order restricting the US Military from showing this game at Gitmo. Some things are just too cruel.
Cowboys (0-0) over Browns (0-0)
I really, really, really want to pick the Browns to win this one, but just can't bring myself to make another long-shot pick this week. Watch Cleveland win.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (0-0) over Bears (0-0)
Hopefully Peyton won't make it through the first quarter of this one, but I'm still not sure that my Bears have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss. Too bad.
Postgame: It feels so good to be wrong. B-E-A-R-S!!!
Early Monday Night Game:
Vikings (0-0) over Packers (0-0)
It's gonna be a long night in Lambeau this Monday. Especially after every cheese-eater in the state caught their hero donning a Jets uniform on CBS Sunday afternoon.
Let the new era of suck begin!
Late Monday Night Game:
Broncos (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)
Shanahan has managed to butt-fuck the Broncos into oblivion. Good for him. But compared to the job that Oakland owner Al Davis has done with the once-mighty Raiders, Shanahan looks like Vince fucking Lombardi.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Here we go:
2007/2008 Season Record: 176/91
2008/2009 Season Record: 0/0
Thursday Night Game:
Redskins (0-0) over Giants (0-0)
I'm probably the only sucker demented enough to take this bet, but I really think that the Skins are gonna waltz in to NY and take this one. Why? Because A) The Giants are playing 7 new players on Defense this year - Last year's Super Bowl D is long gone; B) The Skins always find a way to win against the Giants (think Bears over the Pack twice last year); and C) My first pick is always wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Lions (0-0) over Falcons (0-0)
The '08/'09 Lions aren't anything special, but they just might win 10 games this season if they can finagle 9 more match-ups with the Falcons.
Postgame: Ha, ha - You suck, Detroit. Welcome back to the basement of the NFC North where you belong.
Bills (0-0) over Seahawks (0-0)
My man-crush on the Buffalo Williams continues. I'm picking 'em at home, even though the Shawks are the better team.
Jets (0-0) over Dolphins (0-0)
Word on the street is that the NY Jets got a new QB in the off-season. I'm interested in what this Favre guy can do.
Patriots (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
The rumor mill is buzzing about Golden-Boy Brady's sore right foot and Super Bowl runner-up curses. The Chiefs are probably the worst team in the league right now. The Pats could win this one bristling with voodoo pins and with a make-a-wish kid behind center.
Postgame: Right foot be damned; that left leg is FUCKED UP. There really might be something to this Super-Bowl runner-up curse thing.
Saints (0-0) over Buccaneers (0-0)
Why the hell am I picking the Floodtowners to win this one? I have no idea. Tampa has the better team and sentimentality only goes so far, but here we are.
Eagles (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Both of these teams are broken. The Rams jettisoned Mike Martz - Bad move. The Eagles kept Andy Reid - Bad Move. The real questions for these two teams this year are legal rather than athletic. Reid has to wonder just how many more family members he'll have to go visit in prison before the playoffs, and the Rams have to wonder if Ricky Manning Jr will get arrested again at a Denny's on his way to a game. I say 2 and Shoney's.
Steelers (0-0) over Texans (0-0)
Steelers. Next.
Jaguars (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
This should really be a great game. Too bad that I just don't care.
Bengals (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)
As lost as the Bengals seemed to be in the off-season, they looked like precision personified when compared to the Ravens.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)
God, do I want the Chargers to suck it this year. This isn't gonna be the week that they start losing, though.
Postgame: Suck it, San Diego.
Cardinals (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
Breaking News: The UN has just sought a court-order restricting the US Military from showing this game at Gitmo. Some things are just too cruel.
Cowboys (0-0) over Browns (0-0)
I really, really, really want to pick the Browns to win this one, but just can't bring myself to make another long-shot pick this week. Watch Cleveland win.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (0-0) over Bears (0-0)
Hopefully Peyton won't make it through the first quarter of this one, but I'm still not sure that my Bears have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss. Too bad.
Postgame: It feels so good to be wrong. B-E-A-R-S!!!
Early Monday Night Game:
Vikings (0-0) over Packers (0-0)
It's gonna be a long night in Lambeau this Monday. Especially after every cheese-eater in the state caught their hero donning a Jets uniform on CBS Sunday afternoon.
Let the new era of suck begin!
Late Monday Night Game:
Broncos (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)
Shanahan has managed to butt-fuck the Broncos into oblivion. Good for him. But compared to the job that Oakland owner Al Davis has done with the once-mighty Raiders, Shanahan looks like Vince fucking Lombardi.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Ibanez, Washburn Stay with Mariners
It was reported today that Ibanez and Washburn failed to clear waivers, allowing them to stay with the Seattle Mariners.
In related news, Gibson and Fender are said to be exploring free agency!
In related news, Gibson and Fender are said to be exploring free agency!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Brett Favor
If number 4 returns to the Packers after retiring because he feels he still has some gas in the tank, I can see that, I guess. He won't get another chance at it and I wouldn't begrudge someone trying to dodge a lifetime of regret.
On the other hand, it hardly seems like he has anything to regret. Brett has a ring and he took a young team pretty damned far last year. Other greats have left the game while they still had good football in them (Barry Sanders, for instance) and are still known as some of the best that ever played the game.
After a few years of speculation, he really seemed earnest this time when he retired. Then he signed the retirement paperwork (the big difference between this time and all the previous times). Nice and tidy end to a hall of fame career. But still, if he really had the burning desire to return to the game, I could understand that.
HOWEVER, if he makes all this commotion, derails the Packers pre-season, then takes $20 million to NOT PLAY, I'll have lost all respect for him as a person. He could easily take a television gig or do some product hawking if he's just concerned about money, but I'm guessing he's already pretty well off, financially speaking. So if he takes the money and disappears, he was a great QB, but not a nice person after all. It would be a big stab in the back of all the uber-loyal Packer fans - especially in Wisconsin.
Even as a Bear fan, I hope that doesn't happen.
On the other hand, it hardly seems like he has anything to regret. Brett has a ring and he took a young team pretty damned far last year. Other greats have left the game while they still had good football in them (Barry Sanders, for instance) and are still known as some of the best that ever played the game.
After a few years of speculation, he really seemed earnest this time when he retired. Then he signed the retirement paperwork (the big difference between this time and all the previous times). Nice and tidy end to a hall of fame career. But still, if he really had the burning desire to return to the game, I could understand that.
HOWEVER, if he makes all this commotion, derails the Packers pre-season, then takes $20 million to NOT PLAY, I'll have lost all respect for him as a person. He could easily take a television gig or do some product hawking if he's just concerned about money, but I'm guessing he's already pretty well off, financially speaking. So if he takes the money and disappears, he was a great QB, but not a nice person after all. It would be a big stab in the back of all the uber-loyal Packer fans - especially in Wisconsin.
Even as a Bear fan, I hope that doesn't happen.
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