This is it - The dawn of a new NFL season. I got schooled in the play-offs last year, but I'm back and ready to redeem myself in the eyes of the unknown internet masses.
Here we go:
2007/2008 Season Record: 176/91
2008/2009 Season Record: 0/0
Thursday Night Game:
Redskins (0-0) over Giants (0-0)
I'm probably the only sucker demented enough to take this bet, but I really think that the Skins are gonna waltz in to NY and take this one. Why? Because A) The Giants are playing 7 new players on Defense this year - Last year's Super Bowl D is long gone; B) The Skins always find a way to win against the Giants (think Bears over the Pack twice last year); and C) My first pick is always wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Lions (0-0) over Falcons (0-0)
The '08/'09 Lions aren't anything special, but they just might win 10 games this season if they can finagle 9 more match-ups with the Falcons.
Postgame: Ha, ha - You suck, Detroit. Welcome back to the basement of the NFC North where you belong.
Bills (0-0) over Seahawks (0-0)
My man-crush on the Buffalo Williams continues. I'm picking 'em at home, even though the Shawks are the better team.
Jets (0-0) over Dolphins (0-0)
Word on the street is that the NY Jets got a new QB in the off-season. I'm interested in what this Favre guy can do.
Patriots (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
The rumor mill is buzzing about Golden-Boy Brady's sore right foot and Super Bowl runner-up curses. The Chiefs are probably the worst team in the league right now. The Pats could win this one bristling with voodoo pins and with a make-a-wish kid behind center.
Postgame: Right foot be damned; that left leg is FUCKED UP. There really might be something to this Super-Bowl runner-up curse thing.
Saints (0-0) over Buccaneers (0-0)
Why the hell am I picking the Floodtowners to win this one? I have no idea. Tampa has the better team and sentimentality only goes so far, but here we are.
Eagles (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Both of these teams are broken. The Rams jettisoned Mike Martz - Bad move. The Eagles kept Andy Reid - Bad Move. The real questions for these two teams this year are legal rather than athletic. Reid has to wonder just how many more family members he'll have to go visit in prison before the playoffs, and the Rams have to wonder if Ricky Manning Jr will get arrested again at a Denny's on his way to a game. I say 2 and Shoney's.
Steelers (0-0) over Texans (0-0)
Steelers. Next.
Jaguars (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
This should really be a great game. Too bad that I just don't care.
Bengals (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)
As lost as the Bengals seemed to be in the off-season, they looked like precision personified when compared to the Ravens.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)
God, do I want the Chargers to suck it this year. This isn't gonna be the week that they start losing, though.
Postgame: Suck it, San Diego.
Cardinals (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
Breaking News: The UN has just sought a court-order restricting the US Military from showing this game at Gitmo. Some things are just too cruel.
Cowboys (0-0) over Browns (0-0)
I really, really, really want to pick the Browns to win this one, but just can't bring myself to make another long-shot pick this week. Watch Cleveland win.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (0-0) over Bears (0-0)
Hopefully Peyton won't make it through the first quarter of this one, but I'm still not sure that my Bears have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss. Too bad.
Postgame: It feels so good to be wrong. B-E-A-R-S!!!
Early Monday Night Game:
Vikings (0-0) over Packers (0-0)
It's gonna be a long night in Lambeau this Monday. Especially after every cheese-eater in the state caught their hero donning a Jets uniform on CBS Sunday afternoon.
Let the new era of suck begin!
Late Monday Night Game:
Broncos (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)
Shanahan has managed to butt-fuck the Broncos into oblivion. Good for him. But compared to the job that Oakland owner Al Davis has done with the once-mighty Raiders, Shanahan looks like Vince fucking Lombardi.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
10 comments:
Bears!!
Da Bears!
Well I figured out how to sign back into the damn blogger account.
Now how do I post?
I wish to throw something out for debate.
Can we dump Grossman off on the Pats for some draft picks?
Re: Grossman Abso-fucking-lutely!
For some reason you're not on the submitters list anymore - Knowing you, I'm pretty sure it's your fault. I'll fix it ASAP.
Here's the deal: Your KfS account is under your "s...b...55@yahoo" address. Sign in under that one and you should be able to post.
You were right it was me.
You have to earn the name Meat Head.
I am going to the game in NC this weekend.
I have a new fancy LG Dare phone. I will see if I can email pics to the blog.
This might be beyond my ability though.
I have a feeling Grossman will become necessary before too long. Maybe we skip to Caleb Hanie as the future of the offense in that case, eh?
Oh also, I hate the Vikings more than the Packers now, so I was glad to see them eat shit. Everyone puts them on top of the division before the first game, then they suck.
Re:I have a feeling Grossman will become necessary before too long.
Whaaaaa? That's like saying that contracting Herpes will become necessary before too long.
It's like 2006 all over again; "Orton is just winning way too many games, we should totally put in Grossman to fuck-up the playoffs."
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