Last week I broke even with my picks, so we've all learned that quickly picking games at 3AM after a night of drinking and before another day of drinking isn't the best strategy for a winning record - That blew my theorem all to hell.
If I don't do any better than .500 this week, I'm going back to the drinkin' method and writing this season off as a loss - It seems to have worked for the White Sox.
Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 26/21
Early Sunday Games:
Titans (3-0) over Vikings (1-2)
In Greek mythology the sun-god was known as Titan (aka: Helios/Hyperion). The vikings were medieval raiders from the Scandinavian region. Norsemen and sun just don't mix. In fact, Gundy will burst into flame if exposed to direct sunlight for any longer than 23 minutes (I've seen it - it ain't pretty). Due to this startling revelation, I'm forced to pick the Titans to vanquish the Vikings down in ye olde fabled land of Tennessee.
Broncos (3-0) over Chiefs (0-3)
Okay, I was wrong about the Broncos sucking it. Shut up about it already. On the other hand, I was dead-on in stating that the Chiefs were the worst team in the NFL this season. Here's hoping that they can pull off the "perfect" 0&16 record that eluded the 'Fins last year.
Postgame: Okay; fuck it. I give up.
Saints (2-1) over 49ers (1-2)
I really wouldn't be surprised if the 49ers could pull off a win here, but I think that the 'Aints have a distinct advantage at their refugee-encrusted Metrodome.
Jets (1-2) over Cardinals (2-1)
Brett Favre -vs- Kurt Warner, That match-up might have meant something 9 years ago. Now, not so much.
Packers (2-1) over Buccaneers (2-1)
I really want the Bucs to win this one for the sake of NFC North parity, but if (ex-Bear QB) Brian Griessee can pull off another brilliant win, that'll just send me into another rage with the throwing of shit, gnashing of teeth, speaking in tongues, and whatnot.
Panthers (2-1) over Falcons (2-1)
This should be a pretty good game, which is a minor-miracle considering how blowful both of these teams were last year.
Jaguars (1-2) over Texans (0-2)
Hey, Texans fans, buck up! You might be 0&2 (soon to be 0&3), be Hurricane prone, and be consistently within the bottom-half of the rankings, but if you had it your way you'd also be stuck with Vince Young instead of Mario Williams, and that would be a damn shame.
Browns (0-3) over Bengals (0-3)
Remember all that stuff that I said last year about the Bears stepping up and doing anything to land Derrick Anderson once his contract expires with Cleveland? Well, nevermind - Please disregard.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (1-2) over Raiders (1-2)
Next to Al Davis, Mike Millen looks like Stephen Fucking Hawking.
Bills (3-0) over Rams (0-3)
The "Buffalo Bills Shout":
Shout! Buffalo's happen' now.
Shout! We're on the move now.
Shout! The Bills are happenin' now.
Shout! They're makin' it happen now.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! A lotta' spirit, yea.
Shout! We've got the spirit.
Shout! Just watch it happen now.
-vs-
The "St. Louis Rams Shout":
Dammit!
Cowboys (3-0) over Redskins (2-1)
I really, really, really hope I'm wrong on this pick (and the next one), but I'm picking with my head rather than my heart (for once). Let's see how that works.
Regardless, I'm gonna be glued in front & center of the tube for this one. Go Skins!
Postgame: Who's the best team in the NFL now, bitches? All hail the Redskins!
Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (2-1) over Bears (1-2)
I have not called one single Bears game correctly this season. Every game I pick 'em to win; they lose - Every game I pick 'em to lose; they win.
I'm doing you a favor here guys, now take a cue from North Chi-Town and be more like the '08 Cubs and less like the '08 Sox; okay?
Postgame: That's the last time I listen to my brain. If I would have picked with my heart, I'd have been 11&1 at this point.
Monday Night Game:
Steelers (2-1) over Ravens (2-0)
I'm amazed that the purple-peckers are doing as well as they are; dead-amazed. If they can win this game, I'll be on board 100% and cede the AFC North crown to 'em immediately. I don't think they have what it takes to beat Pittsburgh, but then again, I didn't think that Philly had what it took either. We'll see.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
"ALL THE WAY"-A CHICAGO CUBS TRIBUTE BY EDDIE VEDDER
Cool video and here are the lyrics
Don't let anyone say that it's just a game.
For I've seen other teams and it's never the same.
When you're born in Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed.
First time (every time!) you walk into Wrigley Field.
Our hero's wear pinstripes; hero's in blue.
They give us the chance to feel like hero's too.
Whether we'll win, and if we should lose,
We know someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Yeah hold our head high as the underdog.
We are not fair weather but foul weather fans!
We're like brothers in arms in the streets and the stands.
There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
A world full of greed I could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
[Instrumental bridge]
And here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Teaching us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "Oh let's play two."
Or did he mean 200 years?
In the same ballpark, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our tears.
Keeping traditions and wishes made new.
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
A spiritual feeling if I ever knew.
And if you ain't been I am sorry for you.
And when the day comes, when that last winning run,
And I'm crying and covered in beer.
I'll look to the sky and know I was right.
To think someday we'll go all the way,
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
Don't let anyone say that it's just a game.
For I've seen other teams and it's never the same.
When you're born in Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed.
First time (every time!) you walk into Wrigley Field.
Our hero's wear pinstripes; hero's in blue.
They give us the chance to feel like hero's too.
Whether we'll win, and if we should lose,
We know someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Yeah hold our head high as the underdog.
We are not fair weather but foul weather fans!
We're like brothers in arms in the streets and the stands.
There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
A world full of greed I could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
[Instrumental bridge]
And here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Teaching us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "Oh let's play two."
Or did he mean 200 years?
In the same ballpark, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our tears.
Keeping traditions and wishes made new.
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
A spiritual feeling if I ever knew.
And if you ain't been I am sorry for you.
And when the day comes, when that last winning run,
And I'm crying and covered in beer.
I'll look to the sky and know I was right.
To think someday we'll go all the way,
Yeah! Someday we'll go all the way.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
An Open Letter to CBS Sports
Note: I sent this letter -- verbatim-- (via e-mail) to CBSsports.com:
You dirty motherfuckers,
I've just watched an ENTIRE broadcast (Eagles -vs- Steelers) on CBS (Channel 2 Chicago - HD) without sound.
Please refrain from carrying NFL games in the future (as it is apparently far beyond your capabilities). I understand that ABC is hungry for an NFL contract, and I (for one) applaud their efforts if that means less (or no games) on CBS.
Please stick to reality shows wherein the contestants consume animal genitalia and/or reruns of 'Matlock' for your geriatric demographic.
You truly suck - The 'Eye' is blind (and --apparently-- deaf).
Furthermore, I sincerely hope that all of your children are birthed stillborn.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
You dirty motherfuckers,
I've just watched an ENTIRE broadcast (Eagles -vs- Steelers) on CBS (Channel 2 Chicago - HD) without sound.
Please refrain from carrying NFL games in the future (as it is apparently far beyond your capabilities). I understand that ABC is hungry for an NFL contract, and I (for one) applaud their efforts if that means less (or no games) on CBS.
Please stick to reality shows wherein the contestants consume animal genitalia and/or reruns of 'Matlock' for your geriatric demographic.
You truly suck - The 'Eye' is blind (and --apparently-- deaf).
Furthermore, I sincerely hope that all of your children are birthed stillborn.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 3 Picks
OK, Kids,
I have about 9 hours between the Dillinger Four show and the Hideout block party to get up my picks, so this fucker's gonna be bare-boned - Feel free to insert all of your team-records and/or pithy remarks proceeding each pick.
Last Week's Picks: 9/6
Season Record: 18/13
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons over Chiefs
Bills over Raiders
Bears over Buccaneers
Panthers over Vikings
Patriots over Dolphins
Giants over Bengals
Titans over Texans
Redskins over Cardinals
Late Sunday Games:
49ers over Lions
Seahawks over Rams
Saints over Broncos
Steelers over Eagles
Colts over Jaguars
Browns over Ravens
Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys over Packers
Monday Night Game:
Jets over Chargers
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
I have about 9 hours between the Dillinger Four show and the Hideout block party to get up my picks, so this fucker's gonna be bare-boned - Feel free to insert all of your team-records and/or pithy remarks proceeding each pick.
Last Week's Picks: 9/6
Season Record: 18/13
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons over Chiefs
Bills over Raiders
Bears over Buccaneers
Panthers over Vikings
Patriots over Dolphins
Giants over Bengals
Titans over Texans
Redskins over Cardinals
Late Sunday Games:
49ers over Lions
Seahawks over Rams
Saints over Broncos
Steelers over Eagles
Colts over Jaguars
Browns over Ravens
Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys over Packers
Monday Night Game:
Jets over Chargers
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 2 Picks
A lot of surprises last week, kids. It makes for great television and crappy records. The damnedest thing is that most of my crazy long-shot picks went through, and my sure thing picks floundered. That's football - Here's hoping that the interesting times keep on coming. I'd gladly sacrifice a winning record for 15 more weeks of break-neck (break-knee) football. Huzzah!
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 9/7
Early Sunday Games:
Packers (1-0) over Lions (0-1)
I got every NFC North pick wrong last week. Yikes.
If the Lions couldn't win against the Falcons last week, I don't know who they can beat... Well, they have the 49ers next week, but that's the only game I'd pick 'em in all season.
Chiefs (0-1) over Raiders (0-1)
The Germans call this one "Das Suckenfest". This game could very well decide the worst team in the NFL right now. I'm just picking the home team and glad that I have something else to watch.
Giants (1-0) over Rams (0-1)
I'm really hoping that the Rams somehow pull off this win. It ain't gonna happen, but would cause every single one of the professional football prognosticators heads to collectively explode, and that's good television right there.
Colts (0-1) over Vikings (0-1)
I'm sooo glad that my Bears got the Colts in week one - The Chicago Ursines played one hell of a game, but P. Manning was only 75% in that game. I have a feeling that they're gonna get their shit together quick and pull even this week.
Titans (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
The Titans are about 80% better without the suicidal wondertard behind center - Really. The Bungles couldn't even beat the fucking Ravens last week. This one's a no-brainer.
Redskins (0-1) over Saints (1-0)
Granted, I'm a Skins fan and often pick 'em when I really shouldn't, but I truly believe that they have the edge in this one. They're gonna need to pick up some wins outside their NFC North division (Eagles, Giants, Cowboys) if they want to make the playoffs again this year - This is a prime "need to win" game for Washington.
Bears (1-0) over Panthers (1-0)
Both of these teams slayed giants (of the non-NY variety) last week. The Panthers are getting accolades and the Bears are getting dismissed as a fluke. My belief is that the Colts would have beat the hell out of the Chargers or the Panthers last week. Here's Chicago's chance to prove me right. Nonetheless, this should be one HARD-NOSED game - I can't wait.
Bills (1-0) over Jaguars (0-1)
The Jags managed to knock out Tenesee's starting QB last week (which automatically made the Titans twice as good), Then they lost. The Bills managed to get a win over the neuvo-suck Seahawks. I'm going with Buffalo, but I don't have any rational explanation as to why.
Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks (0-1) over 49ers (0-1)
I just said that the Shawks are gawd-awful now, right? Well, they're still better than the 49ers. I hope.
Buccaneers (0-1) over Falcons (1-0)
I really want to pick the Falcons, but the Bucs are dumping Garcia for... drumroll please... wait for it... B-R-I-A-N G-R-I-E-S-E!!!
Oh shit; is it too late to change my pick?
Jets (1-0) over Patriots (1-0)
Matt Cassel (the New Pats QB) hasn't started in a football game since 1999 (in High School). Brett Favre (the New Jets QB) holds the record for most consecutive starts as an NFL quarterback at 254 (276 including playoffs).
Um... I think I'll go with New York on this one.
Dolphins (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)
I'm picking against reason on this one, but I can't help but wonder which is the greater accomplishment; losing to Brett Favre & the Jets by 6 points with 10 seconds left on the clock or scoring a gimme win over the pathetic 49ers?
Chargers (0-1) over Broncos (1-0)
I'd love for the Broncos to win this one, but can they? Check the pick.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Pittsburgh is looking more and more like the AFC Super Bowl pick for this season. The Browns are a good team, but have faced possibly the two best teams in the NFL right out of the gate.
Monday Night Games:
Cowboys (1-0) over Eagles (1-0)
Hey, Philly, running up a 35 point surplus against the St Louis Rams is like winning a prize-fight against Stephen Hawking. If you want any respect, you're gonna have to beat a good team - Here's your chance.
Texans (0-1) over Ravens (1-0) - POSTPONED
Best Case Scenario: Hurricane Ike keeps blowing this turd right off of the schedule.
Update: This game got blown back to November 9th.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 9/7
Early Sunday Games:
Packers (1-0) over Lions (0-1)
I got every NFC North pick wrong last week. Yikes.
If the Lions couldn't win against the Falcons last week, I don't know who they can beat... Well, they have the 49ers next week, but that's the only game I'd pick 'em in all season.
Chiefs (0-1) over Raiders (0-1)
The Germans call this one "Das Suckenfest". This game could very well decide the worst team in the NFL right now. I'm just picking the home team and glad that I have something else to watch.
Giants (1-0) over Rams (0-1)
I'm really hoping that the Rams somehow pull off this win. It ain't gonna happen, but would cause every single one of the professional football prognosticators heads to collectively explode, and that's good television right there.
Colts (0-1) over Vikings (0-1)
I'm sooo glad that my Bears got the Colts in week one - The Chicago Ursines played one hell of a game, but P. Manning was only 75% in that game. I have a feeling that they're gonna get their shit together quick and pull even this week.
Titans (1-0) over Bengals (0-1)
The Titans are about 80% better without the suicidal wondertard behind center - Really. The Bungles couldn't even beat the fucking Ravens last week. This one's a no-brainer.
Redskins (0-1) over Saints (1-0)
Granted, I'm a Skins fan and often pick 'em when I really shouldn't, but I truly believe that they have the edge in this one. They're gonna need to pick up some wins outside their NFC North division (Eagles, Giants, Cowboys) if they want to make the playoffs again this year - This is a prime "need to win" game for Washington.
Bears (1-0) over Panthers (1-0)
Both of these teams slayed giants (of the non-NY variety) last week. The Panthers are getting accolades and the Bears are getting dismissed as a fluke. My belief is that the Colts would have beat the hell out of the Chargers or the Panthers last week. Here's Chicago's chance to prove me right. Nonetheless, this should be one HARD-NOSED game - I can't wait.
Bills (1-0) over Jaguars (0-1)
The Jags managed to knock out Tenesee's starting QB last week (which automatically made the Titans twice as good), Then they lost. The Bills managed to get a win over the neuvo-suck Seahawks. I'm going with Buffalo, but I don't have any rational explanation as to why.
Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks (0-1) over 49ers (0-1)
I just said that the Shawks are gawd-awful now, right? Well, they're still better than the 49ers. I hope.
Buccaneers (0-1) over Falcons (1-0)
I really want to pick the Falcons, but the Bucs are dumping Garcia for... drumroll please... wait for it... B-R-I-A-N G-R-I-E-S-E!!!
Oh shit; is it too late to change my pick?
Jets (1-0) over Patriots (1-0)
Matt Cassel (the New Pats QB) hasn't started in a football game since 1999 (in High School). Brett Favre (the New Jets QB) holds the record for most consecutive starts as an NFL quarterback at 254 (276 including playoffs).
Um... I think I'll go with New York on this one.
Dolphins (0-1) over Cardinals (1-0)
I'm picking against reason on this one, but I can't help but wonder which is the greater accomplishment; losing to Brett Favre & the Jets by 6 points with 10 seconds left on the clock or scoring a gimme win over the pathetic 49ers?
Chargers (0-1) over Broncos (1-0)
I'd love for the Broncos to win this one, but can they? Check the pick.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (1-0) over Browns (0-1)
Pittsburgh is looking more and more like the AFC Super Bowl pick for this season. The Browns are a good team, but have faced possibly the two best teams in the NFL right out of the gate.
Monday Night Games:
Cowboys (1-0) over Eagles (1-0)
Hey, Philly, running up a 35 point surplus against the St Louis Rams is like winning a prize-fight against Stephen Hawking. If you want any respect, you're gonna have to beat a good team - Here's your chance.
Texans (0-1) over Ravens (1-0) - POSTPONED
Best Case Scenario: Hurricane Ike keeps blowing this turd right off of the schedule.
Update: This game got blown back to November 9th.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Lilly kicking some ass...
I love this little angry man... Toughest guy on our team is a 5 foot nothing pitcher.
http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200809103452671
http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200809103452671
Let me know when I can open my eyes...
The Cubs are going to give me a heart attack. I hold my breath and want to puke at the same time.
The Cubs better reach down and pull there heads out of there arse's now. They have to run one hell of a gauntlet in Sept. I think I would rather punch myself in the balls repeatedly than endure the stress of this run into the playoffs.
Tonight: at St. Louis
Friday-Sunday: at Houston
Sept. 16-18: vs. Milwaukee
Sept. 19-21: vs. St. Louis
Sept. 22-25: at New York
Sept. 26-28: at Milwaukee
All teams above .500 and in a playoff race.
The Cubs better reach down and pull there heads out of there arse's now. They have to run one hell of a gauntlet in Sept. I think I would rather punch myself in the balls repeatedly than endure the stress of this run into the playoffs.
Tonight: at St. Louis
Friday-Sunday: at Houston
Sept. 16-18: vs. Milwaukee
Sept. 19-21: vs. St. Louis
Sept. 22-25: at New York
Sept. 26-28: at Milwaukee
All teams above .500 and in a playoff race.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 1 Picks
This is it - The dawn of a new NFL season. I got schooled in the play-offs last year, but I'm back and ready to redeem myself in the eyes of the unknown internet masses.
Here we go:
2007/2008 Season Record: 176/91
2008/2009 Season Record: 0/0
Thursday Night Game:
Redskins (0-0) over Giants (0-0)
I'm probably the only sucker demented enough to take this bet, but I really think that the Skins are gonna waltz in to NY and take this one. Why? Because A) The Giants are playing 7 new players on Defense this year - Last year's Super Bowl D is long gone; B) The Skins always find a way to win against the Giants (think Bears over the Pack twice last year); and C) My first pick is always wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Lions (0-0) over Falcons (0-0)
The '08/'09 Lions aren't anything special, but they just might win 10 games this season if they can finagle 9 more match-ups with the Falcons.
Postgame: Ha, ha - You suck, Detroit. Welcome back to the basement of the NFC North where you belong.
Bills (0-0) over Seahawks (0-0)
My man-crush on the Buffalo Williams continues. I'm picking 'em at home, even though the Shawks are the better team.
Jets (0-0) over Dolphins (0-0)
Word on the street is that the NY Jets got a new QB in the off-season. I'm interested in what this Favre guy can do.
Patriots (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
The rumor mill is buzzing about Golden-Boy Brady's sore right foot and Super Bowl runner-up curses. The Chiefs are probably the worst team in the league right now. The Pats could win this one bristling with voodoo pins and with a make-a-wish kid behind center.
Postgame: Right foot be damned; that left leg is FUCKED UP. There really might be something to this Super-Bowl runner-up curse thing.
Saints (0-0) over Buccaneers (0-0)
Why the hell am I picking the Floodtowners to win this one? I have no idea. Tampa has the better team and sentimentality only goes so far, but here we are.
Eagles (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Both of these teams are broken. The Rams jettisoned Mike Martz - Bad move. The Eagles kept Andy Reid - Bad Move. The real questions for these two teams this year are legal rather than athletic. Reid has to wonder just how many more family members he'll have to go visit in prison before the playoffs, and the Rams have to wonder if Ricky Manning Jr will get arrested again at a Denny's on his way to a game. I say 2 and Shoney's.
Steelers (0-0) over Texans (0-0)
Steelers. Next.
Jaguars (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
This should really be a great game. Too bad that I just don't care.
Bengals (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)
As lost as the Bengals seemed to be in the off-season, they looked like precision personified when compared to the Ravens.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)
God, do I want the Chargers to suck it this year. This isn't gonna be the week that they start losing, though.
Postgame: Suck it, San Diego.
Cardinals (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
Breaking News: The UN has just sought a court-order restricting the US Military from showing this game at Gitmo. Some things are just too cruel.
Cowboys (0-0) over Browns (0-0)
I really, really, really want to pick the Browns to win this one, but just can't bring myself to make another long-shot pick this week. Watch Cleveland win.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (0-0) over Bears (0-0)
Hopefully Peyton won't make it through the first quarter of this one, but I'm still not sure that my Bears have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss. Too bad.
Postgame: It feels so good to be wrong. B-E-A-R-S!!!
Early Monday Night Game:
Vikings (0-0) over Packers (0-0)
It's gonna be a long night in Lambeau this Monday. Especially after every cheese-eater in the state caught their hero donning a Jets uniform on CBS Sunday afternoon.
Let the new era of suck begin!
Late Monday Night Game:
Broncos (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)
Shanahan has managed to butt-fuck the Broncos into oblivion. Good for him. But compared to the job that Oakland owner Al Davis has done with the once-mighty Raiders, Shanahan looks like Vince fucking Lombardi.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Here we go:
2007/2008 Season Record: 176/91
2008/2009 Season Record: 0/0
Thursday Night Game:
Redskins (0-0) over Giants (0-0)
I'm probably the only sucker demented enough to take this bet, but I really think that the Skins are gonna waltz in to NY and take this one. Why? Because A) The Giants are playing 7 new players on Defense this year - Last year's Super Bowl D is long gone; B) The Skins always find a way to win against the Giants (think Bears over the Pack twice last year); and C) My first pick is always wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Lions (0-0) over Falcons (0-0)
The '08/'09 Lions aren't anything special, but they just might win 10 games this season if they can finagle 9 more match-ups with the Falcons.
Postgame: Ha, ha - You suck, Detroit. Welcome back to the basement of the NFC North where you belong.
Bills (0-0) over Seahawks (0-0)
My man-crush on the Buffalo Williams continues. I'm picking 'em at home, even though the Shawks are the better team.
Jets (0-0) over Dolphins (0-0)
Word on the street is that the NY Jets got a new QB in the off-season. I'm interested in what this Favre guy can do.
Patriots (0-0) over Chiefs (0-0)
The rumor mill is buzzing about Golden-Boy Brady's sore right foot and Super Bowl runner-up curses. The Chiefs are probably the worst team in the league right now. The Pats could win this one bristling with voodoo pins and with a make-a-wish kid behind center.
Postgame: Right foot be damned; that left leg is FUCKED UP. There really might be something to this Super-Bowl runner-up curse thing.
Saints (0-0) over Buccaneers (0-0)
Why the hell am I picking the Floodtowners to win this one? I have no idea. Tampa has the better team and sentimentality only goes so far, but here we are.
Eagles (0-0) over Rams (0-0)
Both of these teams are broken. The Rams jettisoned Mike Martz - Bad move. The Eagles kept Andy Reid - Bad Move. The real questions for these two teams this year are legal rather than athletic. Reid has to wonder just how many more family members he'll have to go visit in prison before the playoffs, and the Rams have to wonder if Ricky Manning Jr will get arrested again at a Denny's on his way to a game. I say 2 and Shoney's.
Steelers (0-0) over Texans (0-0)
Steelers. Next.
Jaguars (0-0) over Titans (0-0)
This should really be a great game. Too bad that I just don't care.
Bengals (0-0) over Ravens (0-0)
As lost as the Bengals seemed to be in the off-season, they looked like precision personified when compared to the Ravens.
Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (0-0) over Panthers (0-0)
God, do I want the Chargers to suck it this year. This isn't gonna be the week that they start losing, though.
Postgame: Suck it, San Diego.
Cardinals (0-0) over 49ers (0-0)
Breaking News: The UN has just sought a court-order restricting the US Military from showing this game at Gitmo. Some things are just too cruel.
Cowboys (0-0) over Browns (0-0)
I really, really, really want to pick the Browns to win this one, but just can't bring myself to make another long-shot pick this week. Watch Cleveland win.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (0-0) over Bears (0-0)
Hopefully Peyton won't make it through the first quarter of this one, but I'm still not sure that my Bears have what it takes to avenge their Super Bowl XLI loss. Too bad.
Postgame: It feels so good to be wrong. B-E-A-R-S!!!
Early Monday Night Game:
Vikings (0-0) over Packers (0-0)
It's gonna be a long night in Lambeau this Monday. Especially after every cheese-eater in the state caught their hero donning a Jets uniform on CBS Sunday afternoon.
Let the new era of suck begin!
Late Monday Night Game:
Broncos (0-0) over Raiders (0-0)
Shanahan has managed to butt-fuck the Broncos into oblivion. Good for him. But compared to the job that Oakland owner Al Davis has done with the once-mighty Raiders, Shanahan looks like Vince fucking Lombardi.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
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