Friday, February 29, 2008

One Last Asscrewing from the Tribune Co

…or On the Considerable Consolation of Getting Drunk as Nero Fiddles

By the way, are there two or three s's when asscrewing is written as one word? Jeanz? Sam Zell? Anybody...?

It was William E. Munny, the professional killer, the name of the man with no name from Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven who said: “It’s a terrible thing killing a man. You take away all he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.”

I keep hearing these nigh-immortal words on mortality as I think of the fuckery that could - I REPEAT COULD befall the cub.

Zell is resolved to sell the park separately. He will first sell the naming rights, which I originally thought was not a big deal…

But you only have to know a little about business and the business of sports (and I fit that description) to know that most of that naming rights money in this case is going to go to the Tribune and Zell’s investors - not the ball club.

Did WhiteSOX ownership benefit from the naming agreement with that stupid phone company? Sure but they were able to channel a shitload of money into the team and the park experience, and believe me - - at that time the SOX park experience needed all the help it could get - - -

In the case of the Trib and its new ownership, they seem to be raiding the assets for the sake of the parent company. Did the cubs get the #1 free agent last year? Right. Did they acquire the top Japanese player this past off-season? Double right. But the seat licensing agreement, the proposed naming rights scenarios, and more importantly separating the team from the park seem to be all bad moves for the cubs in the long run.

And I hope no one reading here is stupid enough to believe that the State of Illinois purchasing and establishing Wrigley as a landmark is going to benefit the ball club. Blaggo’s crew may save Wrigley, help the neighborhood and prevent the beautiful old park from being the Skydome-esque eyesore that some of Zell’s developer buddies would have it become…

…and the purchase of Wrigley by the State of Illinois might even benefit all of us Illinoisans but remember the Bears are separate from Soldier Field and how’s that been working for the team?

The Bears have the advantage of long term ownership and dealing with the Park District Authority or whatever it is for 40 some years or whatever it is and even they have to go hat in hand to the park ownership and do not get the full benefits of the place they fill on Sundays. New cub ownership will be at the mercy of whoever ends up owning the organization’s greatest treasure because to a certain extent, there are people who love the park more than the team. It might not be too extreme to say that for some seasons, the team has needed the park more than the park has needed the team.

I am not sure how to feel about all this.

As a WhiteSOX fan, for years I have taken it from cub fans because you have that park. Part of me wants to say – Selling the field separately from the team gets the cubs one step closer to being the Schaumberg Cubs, y’all gonna love Schaumberg in the summer.

But as a recent convert to the beauty of Wrigley and the cub game experience (remember not cub fan, someone like me cannot switch sides unless the Chairman were to assrape my grandma)…but as someone who now loves and looks forward to going to a few games at that park this summer what looms seems to be the beginning of the end. It is this part of me that is sad.

The part of me that dominates in this internal debate (definitely internal because there is nothing I or all the actual cub fans in the world can do) that is the cynical, resigned but somewhat happy heathen who says ‘Come join me for as many beers as we can get in the shadow of that park this summer. If this is the beginning of some sort of end to one of the coolest places and neighborhoods in the history of summer neighborhoods, let’s slake our thirst with the delicious Pyle as ZellNero (or is it NellZero) burns all that has stood to benefit the Tribune, his Rome, his thing that decent men and women could give a shit for. If this is the way the world works, fine. We can drink our beers and laugh in the sun while it lasts.'

No one can take that from us.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Big Bust

I am so glad Wallace is gone. Let me say that it is official…the Ben Wallace signing was, is and will always be a bigger bust than the cubs’ Sorry-ano.

After hearing Lou’s initial spring training line up, I think Lou is un-washed up and is actually flirting with genius. I still think Sorriano is no longer a leadoff hitter but consider…

1. Sorriano – swinging away and not behaving like a true leadoff hitter but that’s ok because…

2. Theriot – the second leadoff man who is more suited to, and may still perform like a leadoff man

3. Fukudome – who is like a #2 and can do all those important things like hit behind the runner and move Theriot around the basepaths if he gets on

4. & 5. the bigger bats of Aramis and D-Lee.

I think it can work.

After that I don’t know much more about what cub hitters will do besides DeRosa. The only other prediction I’ll make is (I love the young catcher and I am glad the coward and loser Barret is gone) but I think Soto will not live up to expectations this year.

I will say more about my beloved WhiteSOX when I see how healthy Crede is and what the SOX do with two 3rd basemen, two shortstops, two second basemen and no centerfielder.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Vegas

I will be in Vegas covering the NASCAR race for Killing for Sports
to see who wins this years case of Busch!


Saturday, February 16, 2008

Cubs World Serieseseses

Since Ryan Dempster says the cubs are going to the World Series, we here at Killing for Sports ought to honor such a bold, not to say stupid, prediction. To celebrate the unjustified…er unprecedented optimism on the part of the cubs Canadian hurler here are

THE TOP THREE MOST IMPORTANT CUB WORLD SERIES APPEARANCES (as determined by me so I’m probably fucking wrong)

We’re counting down here from #3 to #1. Ready? I don’t give a crap. Here we go:

#3 – THE 1908 WORLD SERIES capping off one of the craziest pennant chases in Chicago baseball history and baseball history in general. The cubs were able to overtake the Giants thanks in part to the Merkle Boner and also they edged out that bitter fuck John McGraw in a one game playoff. For many reasons this might be the biggest World Series in Chicago baseball history in general. I am biased and would argue for the 2005 Series…especially because the city had waited so long for the World Series to come back. But the cubs are the #1 franchise in town currently, and usually in contention with the Bears for being Chicago’s main sports love affair whatever…and only a fool denies that. The cubs win in the 08 series marked the first time any team won back to back World Series and I feel safe in saying this will probably be the only time a Chicago team ever does that. By the way, fans were angry at the cubs during this fall classic and claimed that the team was scalping their own tickets. The cubs would never do that would they?

#2 – THE 1932 WORLD SERIES because the cubs were swept by the greatest franchise in all team sports, it is the only time in history that a Chicago team was seriously in contention with the great Yankees for anything (maybe the SOX battled the Yanks in the 50’s sort of but the WhiteSOX should not be in the same sentence as the Yankees of the 1950’s) and – BACK TO THE CUBS HERE it was the World Series when Babe Ruth called the shot. Babe Ruth has a greater role in World Series history than all Chicago baseball players (both sides) put together. For the cubs to be a part of what the Babe did puts this Series at #2 in my book.

#1 – THE 1918 WORLD SERIES saw the cubs face the second or third greatest franchise in baseball history. Incidentally here is a ranking within a ranking...edP’s Top Three Baseball Squadrons counting down from #3 to #1…. 3.) BoSOX – 2.) Cardinals – 1.) Yankees. Who is going to argue that there is a team with more history than these three franchises? An argument could be made to substitute the Giants or the Dodgers in there somewhere but I am an American League guy so my lists are always going to be slanted in that direction. Oh, the 1918 Series was historic because it was the last World Series winner for the BoSOX until 2004 and we know the rest there. The Babe won the first game - - a 1-0 shut out over Hippo Vaughn (I think he was the original drummer for the Kurl Band, or was it the Hurl Band?) It was the only World Series played entirely in Septemebr….something to do with World War I. You can wiki this shit. Anytime the WS is affected by a war, Babe Ruth is pitching and the Red Sox clinch the victory on September 11th that’s some historic stuff and it deserves to be in the top #3 and it is my #1. And believe me since the advent of Big Mouth Schilling using the Red Sox as his preachifying pulpit, I am no Red Sox fan.

Well that’s it honeys. My Top Three cubs World Series appearances. Give it to my dumb ass.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pitchers and Catchers Report

...in a related story, I'm going over to Bill Garver's house to "report."

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Misc Sports Shit Running Thru My Head

Cubs are Chicago’s Team Again

Don’t get me wrong, the Chicago White Sox are still my favorite team in town, and if I could choose a franchise and a franchise model to embrace I would still take the SOX over the cubs any day

…and I will still mock the cubs for 100 years of fuckery if they are eliminated from playoff contention this year….

But after the great run my beloved SOX had in 2005 & 2006, the Cubs have recaptured the baseball stage in Chicago and should be considered the city’s #1 franchise once again. Yeah the Bears unite the city but their only accomplishment last year was beating the Pack twice. The Bears have no offensive line and that is tantamount to saying the team has no heart. Call me when they get one and I will say they are in better shape than the cub.

The Bulls are a joke and I am not going to waste another sentence on them.

My beloved WhiteSOX, the season will be considered a success if the SOX finish in 2nd place. I will say more about my hopes and dreams for the SOX season later.

Sure the cubs have some roadblocks and weaknesses, but in the wake of the Bedard trade (I am not spellchecking the name of an Oriole, like the O’s ownership I can’t afford the time or expense)…if the cubs get Roberts I will cheer if for no other reason than to say “Hah hah you fucking fuck Soriano. Move down in the lineup and try to do something there”

Some would argue that the cubs do not have a pitching staff that can take them to the World Series. That may be true, but they have enough pitching and a diverse enough lineup (different types of hitters who can do different things, esp now with Fukudome) that they should make the regular season interesting and play competitive baseball. In a shocking turn, I will agree with Devin here that the cubs as constituted would play compelling ball in any division not just in the NL Central. Has it gotten weaker with the collapse of the Cards and Dusty managing the Reds? Maybe. But you play who you play and there are many guys on the cubs team who could adapt and flourish playing against any competition (even the mentally weak Z and Wood, Z acquitted himself well against a good D-backs team who were playing as good of a brand of baseball as the Yankees, Indians and almost any of the superior franchises in the AL)

I guess my thought here is we should all enjoy whatever the cubs can accomplish this year. The spotlight should be squarely on them for doing, mostly, the right things compared to the other clubs in town.

Relative to my team (the SOX) I am not down on Kenny for failing to get Hunter and Rowand and I've explained before why I was cool with Swisher rather than the dumptrucks of money for these other guys...but for all the good Kenny did the team his behavior with the press and even certain fan groups has been erratic at best and downright rude at other times. Come on Kenny. You did the impossible. You brought a World Series to Chicago. Don't be such a dick about it. The cubs are dealing with a far different sort of pressure than payroll and perception and Hendry doesn't look like he is about to crack. He already had one physical breakdown two years ago (?) in FL and I think he learned something from it. You, Kenny Williams, could learn something from the demeanor of the guy who generally manages the cub.

Other random Sunday baseball thoughts…

U-ribe not My-ribe

I love Juan Uribe. He completed the greatest sports season in my lifetime when he made the last two outs in the WhiteSOX World Series. I hope he plays well at 2nd this year. But I will not cry if the SOX make a deal for him in the middle of he season. I can see it play out…a contender loses a shortstop and needs someone and has young pitching to trade. Deal - and SOX fans will say goodbye to Uribe who was sometimes selfish at the plate but will always have a special place in the history of Chicago baseball.

Don’t get me wrong, my dream for this season is that everything clicks for the SOX and Uribe/Cabrera become a great middle infield tandem, Danny Richard (sp, Jeanz? Ozzie? Someone?)…D.R. becomes a super-sub but I live in the real world most of the time.

Mostly I am so fucking happy that pitchers and catchers are reporting and the sooner the miserable fucking thing known as February is over, the better as far as I am concerned.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Hawk

Wow-This douchebag got an extension through 2011. Sorry Sox fans.

Here is what the guys at firejoemorgan have to say: http://www.firejoemorgan.com/search/label/hawk%20harrelson

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Carl Called It (Sorta)

Um, Almost Perfect

or pretty perfect...

or kinda sorta like perfect.

The real winners were the fans for a change. That was a helluva game. I am on record (wherever that record is) as more of a baseball guy than a football guy but these playoffs have been great and the Superbowl was exciting.

It is not for me to say if it was well-played or not but I was on the couch with a headache that made me feel like I was going to vomit out my brain...

and I was still entertained by the game.

The other big winner?

Big Soda wins the first Killing for Sports Prognostication Award (also know as the KFSPA).

He called it somewhere here first and for that he gets a big wet kiss from me sometime before Superbowl XLIII (pronounced ex-el-eeee)...and maybe a free drink.

I am not a fan of either team (and I picked the Pats by more than two TDs so I'm not even a fan of my own pick at this point)...but I am happy for the youngest Manning.

I am most happy for Carl. I can't wait to hear how he pulled out this victory.

But I am equally horrified at the prospect of watching the stupid Dolphins toasting losses for another 36 years.

C'mon Bears, perfect season next year!

Right?

Ugh, I'm gonna be sick again.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Liar's Super Bowl XXLII Pick

Last Weeks Picks: 1/1
Season Record: 176/90

Patriots (18-0) over Giants (13-6)
This time back in 2002, I was down in New Orleans for Super Bowl XXXVI. The Rams were 14 point favorites to knock off the scrappy Patriots with their rookie QB, Tom Brady. No one thought that the Pats had a chance against the "Greatest Show on Turf", but I was pulling for New England to turn the upset. It was a great fucking game, and the Patriots there and then became one of the greatest stories in the history of the NFL.
This game reminds me a lot of that one. No one is giving New York a chance (except for Carl), and everyone expects a New England blow-out. Six years later, and the tables have turned 180 degrees.
If I was more of a sentimentalist I'd pick the G-Men for an upset, but I'm not gonna fall for it.
I like the Pats.

Eww England

Is it me or does Tom Brady look a hell of a lot like tv’s Dexter?

Be that here or there (or everywhere) Brady will carve up the depleted and already sort of crappy Giants secondary. Yeah the Pats have played close games near the end of the season and throughout the playoffs. They don’t seem to be setting more passing records in (wait for it) COLD FUCKING WEATHER WITH LOTS OF FUCKING WIND!!!!

I hate talking about weather except when it comes to football. Snow helps the offense and hinders the defense. Why? Because the offense knows where it is going but the defense has to react. The snow makes it difficult for players to get their footing and cut & chase the offense. But wind, wind and cold help the defense. Why? Because it takes away the deep threat the odds are good that receptions will be interfered with either by the wind or just the fact that balls and hands don’t work as well together when it is a certain kind of cold..

Sorry about the image and the writing above.

Despite what the mIke ‘n Mike guy says about AZ, that is not the kind of cold that is going to interfere with Brady and Moss and Welker. Does anybody believe that RW McQuarters plays in a defensive secondary that is going to stop the Patriots offense? (Marc Silverman thought of that, not me but he's f'in right)

Don’t listen to the experts who say that the game is going to be close or the Giants will win it.

Listen to me.

The Pats will win by more than two scores. I haven’t even mentioned the defensive game plan.
I like Eli Mannig…but the Patriots will break him, torture him, make him think that popcorn venders are inserting themselves in the secondary and picking him off…

I am not a Rick Tellander fan, but he had a great line this morning with Chet Chit Chat.

“Arlen Spector and Congress getting involved with Spaygate? Come on, this isn’t the Stockmarket, this isn’t water-boarding, this isn’t the collapsing housing market, these are videotapes of a bunch of guys doing the hand jive.”

Take the Pats and lay the points…

Or better yet say fuck the superbowl parties watch the game and lay with your wife, girlfriend or significant other…cuz this game will be over at halftime.

Let’s be honest, sex is way the fuck better than football

Hell, it’s even a little better than baseball.