Friday, February 4, 2011

The Liar's Super Bowl XLV Pick

I can't believe I'm procrastinating on a Super Bowl pick. I'm not hedging bets and waiting for last-minute player updates. I just don't care. It doesn't help that the circus atmosphere after the championship games drives me batty.  It seems that every year once the Super Bowl lineup is set everyone starts focusing on everything about either team that has nothing to do with the game itself.  I understand the need for establishing a story-line to draw the interest of those who are not sports fans, but it has gotten to the point where everything seems forced and manufactured.  In the run-up to the game it becomes about the selling of the game more so than about the game itself.  I could care less. Speaking of not caring...

Last Week's Picks: 0/2
Season Record: 157/109

Super Bowl XLV - 5:30PM (CST):
Steelers (14-4) over Packers (13-6)

Meh. I just can't get interested in what should be a historic match-up - It features the team with the most World Championships (Packers) -vs- the team with the most Super Bowl wins (Steelers). This game should hype itself... It doesn't. I can't find any way to care about either of these teams. The Steelers have an exciting defense, but their offense is as boring as it is unlikeable. As for the Packers... Despite the divisional rivalry, they might very well be the most uninteresting team out there aside from the Jaguars. The Puppy Bowl is looking better and better as the days tick down. Rooting Labrador Retriever - Picking Chinese Water Spaniel.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
 

*Indicates Home Team

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Liar's NFL Conference Championship Playoff Picks

Here we go. This is the last week of true football in the season before the circus of the Super Bowl pitches its garish tent. I should be excited, but I'm just confounded. I've acquired an epic case of brain-lock in trying to break down the Bears -vs- Packers game, or there is a real chance that my brain has literally frozen. Either way, I'm going to be useless until either the Bears win or it hits 60 degrees, so let's get to some picks.

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 157/107

Early Sunday Game:
Bears* (12-5) over Packers (12-6)

I've spent the last 5 minutes staring at the blinking cursor on the screen trying to figure out what to write here. Everything I see tells me that the Bears are going to win, but I'm hard-freaked that every "expert" seems to be picking the Pack in this one. Am I missing something? With all of the history behind both of these teams, this could be one of the greatest conference championship games of all time... Unless the Bears lose, then it will be the worst.

Late Sunday Game:
Jets (13-5) over Steelers* (13-4)

I'm not gonna pick the Jets. I'm not gonna pick the Jets. I'm not gonna pick the Jets.
Fuck. I picked the Jets.
I really like the Jets in the postseason and even though everything tells me that they'll lose here, winning at Pittsburgh isn't nearly as hard as winning at Indy or winning at New England. I say they have a shot.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
 

*Indicates Home Team

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Liar's NFL Divisional Playoffs Pick

I'm sick and feel exactly like a re-fried bag of dog turds, so I'm going to make this brief.  This is looking to be an amazing weekend of football.  Two of these games look to be toss-ups, and the other two w/ strong favorites still could go either way.  So ass the couch, grab some Michael Vick's Vapo-Rub, pour yourself a NyQuillada, and get your tissues ready - It's gonna be just like the 1999 Scripps National Spelling Bee all over again.
*cough*

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 155/105

Saturday Afternoon Game:
Steelers*(12-4) over Ravens (13-4)
STEELERS SMASH... RAVENS SMASH... (Repeat for 3-4 hours).  It's a-gonna be a Hulk-off, bitches!

Saturday Night Game:
Falcons* (13-3) over Packers (11-6)
I'm not betting against the Falcons at home, but I'm holding out hope that the NFC championship game will be Packers -vs- Bears at Soldier Field.  Go Pack!  Great, now I feel dirty.

Early Sunday Game:
Bears* (11-5) over Seahawks (8-9)
If the Seahawks win this one, they can bring their season/postseason record up to .500 - That's some crazy shit right there.  Wanna know something else that is crazy?  This is Jay Cutler's FIRST playoff appearance.  Seriously.  The Bears should dominate here, but if they pull off an uber-FAIL on home turf, I might get my preseason wish for a new coach & general manager.  It's a win-win.

Late Sunday Game:
Patriots* (14-4) over Jets (12-5)
I'm sure that the Pats aren't losing any sleep over this one, but divisional match-ups have a way of going sideways.  There is no team out there that knows the Patriots as well as the Jets, and if they can game it just right on defense, they have a legitimate shot here.  That being said; everything has to go right for the Jets to win, and everything has to go wrong for the Pats to lose.
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Liar's NFL Wild-Card Weekend Playoff Picks

Bears have a bye this week so I'm going to take this opportunity to issue a mea culpa: I was very wrong about the Bears assistant coaching staff going into this season. Mike Martz has done a good job adjusting the offense this season, and Mike Tice has done an unbelievable job shoring up the O-Line - The second-half success of the offense is (in my opinion) thanks to Tice's adjustments. Good job guys, now could you two turn your attention to improving Lovie? Didn't think so.

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 153/103

Saturday Afternoon Game:
Saints (11-5) over Seahawks* (7-9)

One of these teams is not like the other... This game is worth notice just because it features the first NFL playoff team with a losing record (fucking NFC West). It hardly seems fair that the reigning Super Bowl champs have to travel half-way across the nation and play in a tough home-crowd stadium against a team with four less wins than they do. Them's the (stupid, stupid) rules

Saturday Night Game:
Colts*(10-6) over Jets (11-5)

I'm really looking forward to this game. Both of these teams have been shaky this season, and (in all likelihood) the winner of this one will be out next week, but I still say this has the makings of a great playoff game. I'm rooting for the Jets, but picking the Colts here.

Early Sunday Game:
Ravens (12-4) over Chiefs* (10-6)

I really have liked the Chiefs this season, but they are way out of their league here. Kansas City home-field is their biggest advantage here, but I don't think it will be nearly enough. The Chiefs have a great running game, but it's nearly impossible to run against the Ravens. If the Chiefs want to win, they'll need to score a bunch of points through the air. It doesn't look good.

Late Sunday Game:
Packers (10-6) over Eagles* (10-6)

Out of all of the games this week, this one looks to be the most evenly-matched. The Eagles are banged-up and have skidded their way into the playoffs on two losses to mediocre teams. I still feel that the Packed are vastly over-rated and lucked into the playoffs this year.  We'll see.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
 

*Indicates Home Team