Friday, January 30, 2009

The Liar's Super Bowl XXLIII Pick

This had been one fucking wacky season. The Bears and 'Skins shit the bed in a spectacular fashion. A team that shouldn't have broken even is in the fucking Super Bowl. Tom Brady gets knocked out for the season, but the Pats still win 11, yet miss the playoffs. The Lions have the first perfect-loss 16 game season in NFL History. Giants fall and joke-teams reign supreme. This was a deeply strange season - Thank Christ it's over.

Last Week's Picks: 1/1
Season Record: 168/97/1

Super Bowl (6:30 PM Eastern):
Cardinals (12-7) over Steelers (14-4)
Fuck it, I give up!
I've discounted the Cardinals entirely, but they just won't die. If you can't beat 'em...
I'm picking Arizona and rooting Pittsburgh.

Friday, January 23, 2009

What's In a Name?

First, there was McPhail. Now Ricketts. Will the Cubs ever win the battle of negative names? Maybe Milton Bradley is a start.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Fucked, Jurko & Harry

...or Two Co-Hosts and a Microphone

Should a guy be paid $600,000 a year to talk about sports, booze and flatulence on the public airwaves? Probably not, but I am gonna miss Dangerous Dan McNeil host…pardon me, former host of ESPN 1000’s Afternoon Saloon.

Did I always agree with his views on the games people play?

No.

Do I think his opinions outside the realms of sports, esp. music and movies were worth a damn?

Hell no.

Do I think he sometimes went way the fuck out of his way to agitate guests, his co-hosts and the Chicago sports radio listening audience?

Yes…and I’m not ashamed to admit that is what I liked best about him.

I hate seeing these Danny Mac pieces that also mention Mike North. Yeah yeah yeah, North had a big morning drive sports show for years, but he always struck me as someone acting like he was from Chicago. McNeil proudly admits he calls the dumbest state in the Union home. He doesn't have to pretend to be from anywhere, he just needs to talk his shit and guys like me will listen.

Mac's love of hockey, even in the darkest years for the Blackhawk organ-aye-zation ranged from punk rock to downright poetic. Until this year, if someone on the show talked too much about the Hawks or hockey in general the Hawk horn blew. This is my first year of following hockey somewhat regularly and I have Mac and Harry and their love (and sadness for the long decline) of the sport to thank for that. There must be something to the icy puck and shur-wood (sp. Jeanz? Nikolai Khabibulin? anybody?!) if these guys are so ready to lament the near death of the sport.

Some douchebag once said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Dangerous Danny Mac had a mic and he damned well knew how to use it. Unnecessary hullabaloos may not be the hallmark of great broadcasting, but they sure made for entertaining listening during sleepy, cold winter afternoons.

The show goes on with Carmen DeFalco in the driver’s seat. I will listen because where the hell am I going in my life? But I’ll miss the loudmouth bastard that ran the show for 9 years…

…and I hope to shit I don’t run into him at a bar. It could get ugly, cuz I'm an obnoxious piece of crap even without the microphone.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Liar's NFL Conference Championship Playoff Picks

Man, this had been a hectic playoff season (and I'm not talking about on the field). Last week I missed all but one game doing the Chili Solstice and related hinterland activities, and tomorrow night I'm gonna miss the marque game to see the Hudson Falcons at Bottom Lounge. I'm Tivoing that one, so any texts and/or calls regarding that game will be summarily ignored until after I get a chance to watch it. I'm just saying, is all...

Last Week's Picks: 3/1
Season Record: 167/96/1

Sunday Afternoon Game (3 PM Eastern):
Eagles (11-6-1) over Cardinals (11-7)

Ho-lee-shit! The Cards could be heading to the mother-fucking Super Bowl with one more win. Did anyone see this one coming? Anyway, I think that the Eagles are the far-superior team in this match-up, but then again, I said the same thing about the Falcons and Panthers.

Sunday Night Game (6:30 PM Eastern):
Steelers (13-4) over Ravens (13-5)
Yeah, I picked the Ravens to win the whole shebang, but I also said that I was hoping like hell for a Steelers -vs- Eagles Super Bowl . I'm going with hope in this one.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Friday, January 16, 2009

Pittsburgh All The Way

Eagles, Cardinals, and Ravens. I'd bet the Rooney family is glad they don't run the Pittsburgh Parrots.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Risk, Monopoly or The Game of Life

Milton Bradley, love him and hate him, is now the Cubbies right fielder. I, for one, remember watching when he went after his manager, Eric Wedge, as an Indian and grabbed him by the throat in 2005. I said, "Indians, you do not need this crap...bleeping get rid of him, Scalp the bastard"!
...It so happens shortly after that incident I was attending one of my baseball drafts. I was outside smoking and near the end of the draft of this N.L.(Only) 13angry men draft. When one angry member in the league starts asking how much $ does each of have to spend? It came down to that I had more money ($13) to bid than any other team owner for Bradley. Little did I know that this person was reading the ticker tape on espn as I was not aware that Milton had been traded. Anyway, I would not have ventured his way at all. I had the feeling he was going high when the bidding suddenly begun for him. I put up $0 for him. I believe that the player I draft must be clean, noble, and know how to play the game. The latter praise is all I have for Bradley. I instead opted for that year to draft Ricky Nolasco, Josh Johnson and Chris Young for the $13.

I have never enjoyed having the Clemen's, Sosa's, Palmiero's on any of my teams. Ever! Never Will! This league is special as we are allowed to draft anybody not in the major leagues as future keepers. Often times my wife finds me reading many a Baseball America and checking on the potential young stars. NOT THAT YOU SICK BASTARDS! I find that I pick those who will have to claw and fight their way to the SHOW!

Enough about fantasy ball; even though it is real. Milton Bradley poses upsides/downsides for the Cubbies. He is older (30) and has claimed to have matured with the game. Is he soft? Injuries may answer that. The Cubs have an out clause in the first year that protect them from his ability to get injured. Can he contribute? Hell Ya! In that lineup and in that field! He is the same hitter from both sides of the plate - rare for a switch hitter. "He takes too many walks", I hear. Let him! He has hitters behind him! The cubs are in a rare position in the National League where their patience and power equals that of any AL powerhouse that enjoys the luxury of the DH. And their pitching is the envy of all of baseball (outside the Angels).
Will he respond to Lou? Will they have it out? How will he interact with Aramis, Lee and Soriano? The guy could not be better fitted for this team as is the team for him.
Bradley will be rested often...125 games started is my goal for him with pinch hitting duties - this helps replace Ward.
"Santi", you scream, "You Idiot"! While this is true 98.723% of the time (Calling me an idiot is a game of percentages on beers consumed), I defer that we still have Reed and Fukudome. "Santi, are you even dumber than you type?" No, I reply. The ploy is that cubbies are signing another Japanese hero to keep the other Jap happy. This means we still enjoy great defense in right field with fuku... and maybe a ressurgence of his offense. (And YES am I stupid for believing that after watching him against ML pitching)

At the end of the dealings I think they cubbies came out winners - this is only possible with a healthy Bradley (Miles and Gregg need to perform as well). There is still talk between the Padres and Cubs on Peavy who might make an interesting mid-season deal. The end goal is winning it all.
And that said, I like the off season Cubs moves. They have made themselves more liquid for the new ownership (whomever that might be - I am glad it is not crazy guy from Dallas) to make some immediate moves. (Don't forget the MLB blocking of Carl Crawford coming to us in 2006 for fear of the ownership would not be liquid enough). The Nuclueus is still there. I would love to have seen Lee gone and Giambi playing first for a season or two. Anyway, Roberts is still on the table!

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Liar's NFL Divisional Playoffs Pick

I don't know how much football I'm gonna catch this weekend. I'm planning on making the pilgrimage out to DeKalb for the Chili Solstice tomorrow night, which means that by the time I sober-up, it'll be Tuesday. Good times.
Maybe I'll catch some games with the D-Town drinking brigade, or I might just have to read about the results in the paper after they let me out of the drunk-tank. We'll see.

Last Week's Picks: 2/2
Season Record: 164/95/1

Saturday Afternoon Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Ravens (12-5) over Titans (13-3)
I picked the Ravens to win it all this year, so (by extension of logic) they sorta have to win this game for my Super Bowl pick to happen. The Titans are tough, but I think that Baltimore stacks up nicely against 'em. This game is going to be decided by the better offense (neither of them are great, but...), I'm going with the Ravens.

Saturday Night Game (8:15 PM Eastern):
Panthers (12-4 ) over Cardinals (10-7)
How the fuck did Arizona make it out of wild-card weekend?!?! Hell, how did they make it into the playoffs to begin with? If Carolina doesn't send the Red-Birds back to the desert dejected, I'll be shocked. Again.

Early Sunday Game (1 PM Eastern):
Eagles (10-6-1) over Giants (12-4)
I'm holding a huge grudge against the G-Men for letting the Vikes have a win in their last game of the season. Fucking bums. Not that it would have made any kind of a difference if Minnesota had won, but I'm pissed on principal alone. I think that the Giants have the upper-hand in this one, but are in for a brutal street-fight against their against-all-odds divisional rival.

Late Sunday Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Steelers (12-4) over Chargers (9-8)
The Bolts ruined what was to be Tony Dungy's swan-song season (now he'll probably come back again to make yet another run at it). Unfortunately for the Bolts, Pittsburgh is a totally different kind of team. San Diego matches up well against the high-octane show teams, but not so well against the hard-D brick-wall teams. I see the Steelers making an example of the Chargers in this one.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Liar's NFL Wild-Card Weekend Playoff Picks

PLAYOFFS!!!
It's that time of the year. And since the Bears and Skins were kind enough to piss away their seasons into oblivion, I can go into the postseason with a clear and impartial mind. Thanks guys; you fucking suck it.
Here's my thoughts on the Super Bowl this year: I (like most everyone else in the nation) want to see a Pennsylvania Super Bowl throw-down between the Eagles and Steelers - It's possible, but unlikely.
We'll probably get a Titans -vs- Panthers snooze-fest with all of the nail-biting excitement of a trip to the bank.
My prediction is that the big game will be the Ravens over the Panthers, but really have nothing (other than pure conjecture) to back it up.
The one thing that I can guarantee: After this week, there will be all of zero teams left in the playoffs from west of the Mississippi river. Bank on it .

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 162/93/1

Saturday Afternoon Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Falcons (11-5) over Cardinals (9-7)
The NFC South divisional record is 40-24. The NFC West divisional record is 22-42.
The Cardinals don't even belong in the playoffs, and are heading toward one of the biggest embarrassments in the long sucky history of the oldest team in the NFL (1898). The classy thing would be to forfeit at the coin-flip and save Arizona the indignity.
Postgame: The Cards fucking won?!?! I give up.

Saturday Night Game (8 PM Eastern):
Colts (12-4) over Chargers (8-8)
The AFC South divisional record is 38-26. The AFC West divisional record is 23-41.
Yeah, the stats are almost as bad as the aforementioned match, but the Bolts have a good record at matching up against Indy. If any of you have ever watched a zombie flick, you know how dangerous the risen-from-the-dead-Chargers are right now, but I see the Colts standing tough with a sawed-off street-sweeper ready to send them back to their AFC West grave.
Postgame: A Chargers -vs- Cards Super Bowl doesn't seem so ridiculous right now. Christ help us all.

Early Sunday Game (1 PM Eastern):
Ravens (11-5) over Dolphins (11-5)
I am jazzed-up for this one. It's going to be such a good game that I might just forget how much I hate both of these teams for 4 quarters of play. This one's gonna be a down & dirty smack-down for the ages, and it's anyone's game.
Yeah, I just said that I think that the Ravens will win the Superbowl, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if they got knocked-out in the first round. They are going to have the hardest road of ANY team in the playoffs. If they can make it all the way, they'll be impossible to stop.
Postgame: Even the one I got right, I got wrong. Of all the games so far, this is the only one that wasn't even close. The two that I thought were gonna be blow-outs were barn-burners and the game I thought was gonna go down to the line was over by half-time. Go figure.

Late Sunday Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Eagles (9-6-1) over Vikings (10-6)
Yup, I Google mapped it, and the Metrodome is a whole 4 blocks south-west of the Mississippi.
They're out.
At least I could find the stadium, unlike the Vikings fans. It looks like this HOME GAME IS GOING TO BE BLACKED-OUT in the Minneapolis market due to poor ticket sales. Are you fucking kidding me? Just go away, Vikings, and leave us football fans alone.
Postgame: Thanx, Minnesota. Your unparalleled ability to fail saved me from getting totally schooled in my first-round playoff picks.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN