Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks

It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting ready for my annual "Fairytale of New York" bar crawl. Before my booze-fueled wassailing adventure commences, I really should post up some picks before I get locked in the drunk tank for the weekend.
Here we go:

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 147/77

Friday Night Game:
Chargers (11-3) over Titans* (7-7)
I had the Titans winning this one, and then just spent the last 10 minutes trying to type out an explanation that didn't sound completely retarded. I failed, and then promptly changed my pick.

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (7-7) over Bills (5-9)
Both of these teams are done for the season. I'm not going to waste any more time here.

Bengals* (9-5) over Chiefs (3-11)
The Bengals have to win just one more to lock down a playoff berth. Here it is.

Raiders (5-9) over Browns* (3-11)
Both of these terrible teams have been looking pretty damned good lately. Trippy.

Packers* (9-5) over Seahawks (5-9)
The Packers need one more win (or a Giants loss) to secure a wild-card spot. Go Seattle!

Dolphins* (7-7) over Texans (7-7)
Hey everybody, It's the Mediocrity Bowl!

Patriots* (9-5) over Jaguars (7-7)
The Pats have been shaky this season, but not at home.

Saints* (13-1) over Buccaneers (2-12)
Well, the Saints got their loss outta the way last week. Conversely, the Buccaneers got their win outta the way last week.

Giants* (8-6) over Panthers (6-8)
The G-Men need to win to stay in.
Postgame: OUT!

Ravens (8-6) over Steelers* (7-7)
Apparently I'm the only one who thinks that the Steelers are gonna lose here. No matter how bad Pittsburgh wants to win, Baltimore wants them to lose twice as much.

Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals* (9-5) over Rams (1-13)
The Cards are in the playoffs again this year.... hoo-fucking-ray.

49ers* (6-8) over Lions (2-12)
Yeah, My prediction of the Niners winning the NFC West isn't looking so hot right now.

Colts* (14-0) over Jets* (7-7)
Now that the Saints are out, I'm pulling for the Colts to stay undefeated and win the Super Bowl just so the '72 Dolphins can finally shut the fuck up.
Postgame: Dear Indy, You're dead to me - I hope you soulless fucks have fun losing in the AFC divisional round. That was the most pathetic surrender of a game in the history of sport, and I sincerely I hope you never win another game until your franchise gets shipped out to LA.

Broncos (8-6) over Eagles* (10-4)
I still believe, but it's taking more and more booze each week to do so.

Cowboys (9-5) over Redskins* (4-10)
Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know I said last week that I was gonna pick the Skins here, but this pick is already sandwiched by two even stupider picks.

Monday Night Game:
Bears* (5-9) over Vikings (11-3)
I'm not sure if it's the Christmas spirit, or the distilled spirits I've been sipping throughout the typing out of this post, but I'm predicting a holiday miracle right here. Don't ask me why - I'm far too buzzed to type out an explanation.
Postgame: I fucking told you so!
I'm like Scatman Crothers up in this shit
.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks

I'm not going to get to watch most of the games this week. Thursday I'm heading out to Quenchers for a show, Saturday I'm going to try and make it out to DeKalb, and Sunday the family is doing an early Christmas. I should be able to catch the Skins -vs- Giants game on Monday... Fuck it - I'll take it.

Woo-Hoo, holidays!

Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 138/70

Thursday Night Game:
Colts (13-0) over Jaguars* (7-6)

Around this time every year the Colts have homefield locked down. They put in their 3rd stringers so that their star players can get slow, lazy, and lose to the Chargers in the first round of the playoffs. I'm hoping that they've learned that lesson and play through like men.

Saturday Night Game:
Saints* (13-0) over Cowboys (8-5)
There's only one thing that could get me to miss what looks to be the game of the week: OLD DOG'S MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY!!! I'm gonna try like hell to get out to D-Town and beer it up with everyone's favorite aged canid.

Early Sunday Games:
Patriots (8-5) over Bills* (5-8)
The Patriots really need to get their first (domestic) road win here. I'd feel better about this pick if this was one of the Bills' Canadian outings, as the Pats are undefeated in foreign lands so far this season.

Cardinals (8-5) over Lions* (2-11)
I can't tell you how happy a Lions win here would make me. C'mon Detroit, try not to fail at one thing for once.

Titans* (6-7) over Dolphins (7-6)
Miami has a lot more to play for in this one, but a loss (effectively) ends the Titans season. I say that Tennessee has just enough fight left in 'em to pull this off.

Chiefs* (3-10) over Browns (2-11)
The Browns got in their statement win last week (against the Steelers), the Chiefs got their statement win back in week 11 (against the Steelers) - Fucking Steelers.

Texans (6-7) over Rams* (1-12)
Hey, look! It's a game that I feel safe in picking the Texans. Finally.

Jets* (7-6) over Falcons (6-7)
The Falcons are still filthy with injuries, and the Jets proved that they could win big last week without their star QB (who should be back for this one). Then again, the decimated Falcons almost upended the undefeated Saints last week, so...

Eagles* (9-4) over 49ers (6-7)
San Francisco is looking like a championship team now that I turned my back on them (for the umpteenth time this season). On the other side, the Beagles are en fuego right now. This has all the makings of a classic slug-match, but I have a feeling that it's going to be a huge let down.

Ravens* (7-6) over Bears (5-8)
The Bears are out for the season - At this point all they can do is lay down and try and secure a high draft pick for the Broncos.

Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (8-5) over Raiders* (4-9)
The Raiders are starting Charlie Frye at quarterback this week. It's official: The QB that wasn't good enough for the Cleveland Browns is still better than JaMarcus Russell.

Bengals (9-4) over Chargers* (10-3)
24 hours ago I would have picked the Chargers here. Chris Henry's death changes all that. I say the Bengals win on emotion (as did the Skins late in 2007 after the death of Sean Taylor).

Steelers* (6-7) over Packers (9-4)
I couldn't be more over the Steelers right now, but I'm hoping that someone (anyone) lays down the hurt on the Pack before the playoffs.

Seahawks* (5-8) over Buccaneers (1-12)
I'm kinda in a rush here to get out to the bar. I'm not gonna waste any more time trying to think of anything insightful to say about this turd-bowl.

Sunday Night Game:
Vikings (11-2) over Panthers* (5-8)

I sure am glad that Green Bay shipped Favre off to New York so that the Bears wouldn't have to worry about that clown dominating the NFC North.
Wait... what?!?!

Monday Night Game:
Giants (7-6) over Redskins* (4-9)

I'm seriously tempted to pick the Skins here, but I think that they're saving up all of their upsettin' for the final game against the Cowboys.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks

Well, this week is already off to inauspicious start (fucking Steelers). Here's hoping (against hope) that the Thursday game isn't a portent of things to come.

Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 127/65

Thursday Night Game:
Steelers (6-6) over Browns* (1-11)

I'm going miss this one. Why, you ask? Because I'm gonna be rocking out to Cheap Trick at the Allstate Arena. In your face, sports.
Postgame: By the looks of it, the Steelers would have had a much better night if they (collectively) had snuck out to a concert.

Early Sunday Games:
Saints* (12-0) over Falcons (6-6)
New Orleans has "Who Dat", Cincinnati has "Who Dey". The Norwad & I decided that we're going to popularize "To Whom Does That Concern" as the new Bears slogan. I think it's damned catchy.

Packers (8-4) over Bears* (5-7)
Okay, I think that the Bears are probably gonna win this as a last-gasp grasp at mediocrity, but I've gotten hard-screwed this season in picking the Bears and picking against the Pack. I'm going with the brain over the heart.
Postgame: After that goat-rope, does anyone doubt that the problem with the Bears lies with the coaching staff?

Colts* (12-0) over Broncos (8-4)
I'd like to see a Denver win here, but you never pick against the Juggernaut, bitch.

Bills (4-8) over Chiefs* (3-9)
The Bills have been decent since they gave the Dick of Jauron his walking papers. Decent is all you need to beat the Chiefs.

Vikings* (10-2) over Bengals (9-3)
I could make a solid argument for Cincy in this one, but (at this point) the Vikes have more to play for.

Patriots* (7-5) over Panthers (5-7)
The Patriots don't lose in New England (or old England). They lose everywhere else.

Jets (6-6) over Buccaneers* (1-11)
Mark "Dirty" Sanchez is grounded for pulling an "invisible pool" dive in their last outing, but if things get hairy he'll be back in.

Dolphins (6-6) over Jaguars* (7-5)
I don't "get" either of these teams this season. Then again, all things Florida are somewhat of a mystery to me. Skunk ape, WTF?

Ravens* (6-6) over Lions (2-10)
Charm City has a decent shot at an AFC wild-card slot this year. Motor City has a good shot at its own foot.

Texans* (5-7) over Seahawks (5-7)
I don't wanna talk about it.

Late Sunday Games:
Titans* (5-7) over Rams (1-11)
Tennessee still has a (far) shot at the post-season this year. It ain't gonna happen, but they're gonna play for it.

Raiders* (4-8) over Redskins (3-9)
I've been saying since week 3 that the Raiders would be a decidedly better team without JaMarcus Russell. I've been saying for years that my Skins would be a better team without their owner, coaching staff, and a good chunk of their offense.
Postgame: Well, that just proved my point. The Raiders were looking good until JaMarcus came in and sucked it all up. If I were Al Davis (which, thankfuly, I'm not), I'd shoot that clown out of a cannon ASAP.

Cowboys* (8-4) over Chargers (9-3)
Okay, this is a sucker's bet. I'm not buying into a December Cowboys curse (despite all of the evidence), and still am holding out hope for Denver to win the AFC West (despite all of the evidence to the contrary).
Postgame: Okay, I'm buying it (as is DeMarcus Ware).

Sunday Night Game:
Giants* (7-5) over Eagles (8-4)
Who knows what'll happen in any NFC East divisional match-up? It's fucking nutty. I'm going with the home squadron.

Monday Night Game:
Cardinals (8-4) over 49ers* (5-7)
Dear Niners,
You've repeatedly let me down this season, and I have come to realize that I just can't count on you when it matters. I think we should see other people.
Yours in Christ,
The Liar
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks

It's week 13, and I'm back above .666% (2/3) in my picks.
13 and 666; what possibly could go wrong?

Last Week's Picks: 14/2
Season Record: 118/58

Thursday Night Game:
Jets (5-6) over Bills (4-7)*
The Bills have been on a tear since jettisoning Jauron. The Jets are stuck in a holding pattern and praying their fuel holds out for another week. All signs point toward a Bills win, but I think that New York has enough talent to slip by.

Early Sunday Games:
Eagles (7-4) over Falcons* (6-5)
Atlanta is burning. Just when they need to make a push, the core of the team is on the sideline with a plethora of injuries. The Eagles are circling the Georgia Dome looking for an easy meal.

Bears* (4-7) over Rams (1-10)
Our Dear and Benevolent Leader is an avowed Bears fan, so (with a bit of string-pulling) after the Rams we have the Miami Caliente, the Rockford Rampage Futbol LLC, the Stanford Marching Band, and the Detroit Lions. I say we end the season at 8 & 8.

Bengals* (8-3) over Lions (2-9)
One of these perpetual jokes of the NFL is going to the playoffs this year. It ain't Detroit.

Colts* (11-0) over Titans (5-6)
A bunch of idiots experts are picking the Titans to pull off an upset here. They're probably just rolling with it because last week their call of the Texans upending the Colts worked out so well for them.

Broncos (7-4) over Chiefs* (3-8)
I'm kicking myself for not going with my hunch and picking the Broncos last Thursday. Sorry, guys.

Patriots (7-4) over Dolphins* (5-6)
The Patriots have been struggling lately (against some very good teams). It's that time of the year when they lay down on the gas and plow into the postseason.

Steelers* (6-5) over Raiders (3-8)
I'm seriously tempted to pick Oakland up in this one. Really.

Saints (11-0) over Redskins* (3-8)
Hey, New Orleans: TRAP GAME!!! Watch out. The Skins have been playing sharp. If you look past this one it'll come back and bite you on the ass.
Postgame: Told you so.

Panthers* (4-7) over Buccaneers (1-10)
Word is, if Jake Delhomme keeps throwing multiple interceptions per game, that the Bears are going to sign him to a 5 year deal in the offseason.

Texans (5-6) over Jaguars* (6-5)
I didn't want to pick the Texans here. An older boy forced me to do it.
--that's the story I'm sticking to--
Postgame: If I had known that Grossman was going to go in, I would have never made this pick (regardless of coercion).

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers (8-3) over Browns* (1-10)
Hey, Mangina: If you want to think about winning a game or two this season, this would be a great time to start.

Cowboys (8-3) over Giants* (6-5)
Dallas is hoping that it can kick the December slump that it always seem to fall into. It's bound to happen one year, right?

49ers (5-6) over Seahawks* (4-7)
My pick for NFC West champion still hasn't broke .500 yet. No, it wasn't Seattle.

Sunday Night Game:
Vikings (10-1) over Cardinals* (7-4)
If my aforementioned NFC West pick is gonna make it, they're gonna need some serious help. Thanx, Minnesota.

Monday Night Game:
Ravens (6-5) over Packers* (7-4)
Okay, The Pack win one trash game against the decimated Lions and now everyone has them penciled in as a NFC wild-card team. Really?!? Are you fucking serious?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 12 Picks

Okay, I'm cranking out these picks on three solid hours of sleep - Let's see how that works.
Milo and I are holding down the fort while the Girl is back on the East coast. We plan on watching a bunch of football and getting some serious drinkin' done. Now that's a holiday weekend, people!

Last Week's Picks: 12/4
Season Record: 104/56

Early Thursday Game:
Packers (6-4) over Lions* (2-8)

That Lions win last week was insane. Good Stuff. Finally after 53 seasons we get an exciting Lions game, which brings me to my point: Why the fuck are we still torturing the holiday crowd with Lions games every Thanksgiving? It's like a big annual heaping helping of Tofurkey. Pass.

Late Thursday Game:
Cowboys* (7-3) over Raiders (3-7)
Speaking of which, what the fuck do cowboys have to do with Thanksgiving, anyhow? If any NFC East team should be playing here it should be the Redskins. I say every year they have the Patriots reenact the genocide of a nation up on the 'Skins. Now that's edutainment!

Thursday Night Game:
Giants (6-4) over Broncos* (6-4)
The Giants ended their losing skid last week, here's hoping that the Broncos can do the same here. I've learned that in close-matched games it's easier to pick against the team I like, so when they (inevitably) lose I still have something. Sad, huh?

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (5-5) over Buccaneers (1-9)
Atlanta has only won one game (against the Skins) since beating the Bears back in week 6 - Choke on that, you bastards.

Dolphins (5-5) over Bills* (3-7)
The quote of the week came from Jason Smith on Jim Rome is Burning: "The Buffalo Bills remind me of the freshman high-school nerd who thinks that just because the homecoming queen isn't dating anyone she'd go to the prom with him if he asked. Ralph Wilson, please put away your pocket protector, your bug collection, and your most powerful World of Warcraft character. Bill Cowher and Mike Shanahan are not coming to Buffalo."
Brilliant.

Bengals* (7-3) over Browns (1-9)
Last week the Bengals couldn't get it done against the Raiders. Then again, last week the Browns couldn't get it done against the Lions.

Seahawks (3-7) over Rams* (1-9)
I sorta want to pick the Rams here. There's no good reason to though, so I'm refraining.

Jets* (4-6) over Panthers (4-6)
I'm struggling to find anything to say about this game, so let's see what happens when I type "panther jet" in a Google search: The Grumman F9F Panther was the most widely used U.S. Navy jet fighter of the Korean War. Now you know.

Eagles* (6-4) over Redskins (3-7)
Washington is looking sharp lately - They upended the Broncos in week 10 and almost shut-out the Cowboys last week. This shit has got to stop.

Colts (10-0) over Texans* (5-5)
Once again, a bunch of people are picking the Texans here. It's probably because the Texans have a better record, Payton Manning, and have won the division 5 of the last 6 seasons. Um, wait... That's the Colts, sorry. The Texans are the ones with Rex Grossman.

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers* (7-3) over Chiefs (3-7)
The Chiefs win over Pittsburgh last week surely put San Diego on notice. They're gonna play 'em tough.

49ers* (4-6) over Jaguars (6-4)
Why, oh Lord, do I keep picking the Niners? I can't help myself.

Titans* (4-6) over Cardinals (7-3)
Speed of lightning! Roar of thunder!
Flaming all who blitz or blunder!
Wondertard! (hoo-rah-ah-ah-ah)
Wondertard! Wondertard!!

Vikings* (9-1) over Bears (4-6)
This is exactly the kind of game the Bears tend to win just to get everyone's hopes up so then they can dash them back into the ground the following week. Have some decency, and lose with just an iota of dignity here, Chicago.

Sunday Night Game:
Ravens* (5-5) over Steelers (6-4)
Man, the Steelers got creamed last week against the Chiefs (I never ever thought I'd write that sentence). They're hurting going into this one. Charm City is poised to kick 'em while they're down.

Monday Night Game:
Saints* (10-0) over Patriots (7-3)
I'm really tempted to pick the Patriots here, but am giving the benefit of the doubt to the undefeated at home. Don't fuck me on this one, New Orleans.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Harshest Move

So, against my better judgment, I joined a fantasy football league again this year. It's the free Yahoo one. I was proud of my team name (the Gould Standard) and I landed Jay Cutler, Johnny Knox, Greg Olsen, and Robbie Gould from the Bears. (Yes, I am getting killed at 4 and 7 on the season.)

My other QB, selected randomly by the league software, is Brett Favre. Interestingly, Favre only has a slight edge on the season, numbers-wise. Sadly, I am more sure he'll throw touchdowns this weekend than Cutler will. So, I'm benching my fantasy QB in favor of the enemy.

You can be sure this will be the game where Jay Cutler breaks some kind of single-game passing record in the NFL.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dear Liar

I am sorry to have abandoned you in the middle of the season... but my article about you and I being the godsend of the gamepick world proved to be our downfall in this crazy NFL season. It proved that Murphy's Law is the norm this season and that everyone involved in picks and fantasy should get out and shoot themselves in the nuts right now. I am not worthy... I should have reserved myself to some po-dunk fantasy league rather than bothering you all with my bullshit... but I offer the following.

A 40 year old QB will probably be taking an NFC North Team to the superbowl.

Angelo... and especially Ron Turner should be presented to the Chicago populous and strung up by the balls for the atrocity that is the Bears '09 season. Lovie knows what he is doing but is hamstrung by the douchebags up in the booth. He has to take what the dipshit Turner has to offer... Get some new blood in the office!!!!

The Jets will suck again....

The Texans will never cease to piss the Liar and myself off... I pick the Titans to win on Monday!!!

Dallas will eternally be known as the "on again, off again team...." as long as Romo the homo is at the healm.

The Raiders are alive again... fuck Jackson.

The Saints and the Colts will not remain undefeated for long.... The Saints face NE next monday night... watch out...

Those are my little niblets for the week.... all I can say to the Liar is...

Keep on Truckin'

Shadrow

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 11 Picks

Okay, it's official - I don't know a fucking thing about football. Each week I seem to be doing worse than the last. Nate seems like a certifiable genius right now for stopping his picks a few weeks back before the entire league went ass-over-tits. Well, at least I still have a solid winning record so far this season - The Bears (unfortunately) can't say the same.

Last Week's Picks: 6/9
Season Record: 92/52

Thursday Night Game:
Dolphins (4-5) over Panthers* (4-5)
This could easily be the shortest game of the season. Neither of these teams has a passing game, both rely heavily on the run, and both have stout defenses. This bitch could go 14 minutes into overtime, and still be over in less time than the Falcons @ Giants (later this week).

Early Sunday Games:
Cowboys* (6-3) over Redskins (3-6)
I still can't believe that the Redskins beat the Broncos last week, or that the Cowboys lost to the Packers. Everything goes back to normal with this one.

Lions* (1-8) over Browns (1-8)
Who wants to bet that this turd-fest ends in a tie?

49ers (4-5) over Packers* (5-4)
I'm still hoping against hope that the Packers truly suck. The Niners got a real ugly win last week, let's see if they can slap some lipstick on that pig up in Lambeau.

Steelers (6-3) over Chiefs* (2-7)
STEELERS MAD! STEELERS SMASH!

Vikings* (8-1) over Seahawks (3-6)
I love the Vikings this year. No, not like that. I still haven't gotten a Vikes pick wrong yet this season. I still hope that they all choke to death on dicks, but they're keeping me in the game here.

Giants* (5-4) over Falcons (5-4)
Both of these teams were great last season - Both are middling so far this year. It's hard to get a good read on either of these teams this season (let alone in this game).

Saints (9-0) over Buccaneers* (1-8)
Last week I warned that "every single season there is one game where a great team looses a 'gimme' game to a terrible team". The Saints struggled early against the Rams last week. They already learned that lesson - this week should be a cake-walk.

Jaguars* (5-4) over Bills (3-6)
The Williams shit-canned Jauron on Tuesday... I wonder if he'd like his old job back with Chicago?
Yeesh, even terrible ideas are starting to sound good right about now.

Colts (9-0) over Ravens* (5-4)
I'm tempted to pick Baltimore in the upset here. The Clots are coming off their biggest game of the season, and could easily get blindsided by a mediocre team in their victory haze.

Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals (6-3) over Rams* (1-8)
I have a feeling about this one. I have a feeling that (despite the odds) this is going to be a close game that goes down to the end with the Cards pulling off a win at the last minute.

Chargers (6-3) over Broncos* (6-3)
I originally had the Broncos winning this one. Then I realized that was stupid. I'm picking San Diego and pulling for Denver.

Bengals (7-2) over Raiders* (2-7)
The Bengals have never won a game in Oakland. Things change.

Patriots* (6-3) over Jets (4-5)
After last week's crushing collapse, I say the Hoodie refuses to punt on a single 4th down out of pure spite. Belichick isn't gonna let off the gas for one moment of this one - He just has to be careful to avoid plowing headlong into a wall.

Sunday Night Game:
Eagles (5-4) over Bears* (4-5)
You BASTARDS! Why the fuck did you have keep this as the flex game? Is this some kind of sick joke? Y'all know that Chargers and Broncos have game this week for sole possession of the AFC West, right? You're still gonna televise the Bears running around in circles around with their pants around their ankles for the world to see, huh? Well, FUCK YOU!

Monday Night Game:
Texans* (5-4) over Titans (3-6)
Thank Christ that the Texans are back! Usually I just get the Texans pick wrong (with a couple of others). Last week (with Houston on the bye) I kept picking losers - This week my balance is back.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Can We Get Him Back?

I hope this doesn't hex him, but Mike Brown has started all nine games for the Chiefs this year, and this week, he's the AFC Defensive Player of the Week.

Is it just me, or do we have a totally different outlook on this season if we have a healthy Mike Brown roaming the secondary?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 10 Picks

Un dunnah whaa wen ong weth te hueehhun. Hi yus ghunt iggue haut uht heen uroungh....
Hold on, lemme take the gun outta my mouth here for a second.
That's better.
...um.
Probably should say something here... something positive...
...uh.
I'm positive that the Bears fucking suck it.
Okay, that's over. Now where was I?
Oh, right...
Ank ooo, ohw hai ahb ohher ingth oo hoo.

Last Week's Picks: 7/6
Season Record: 86/43

Thursday Night Game:
Bears (4-4) over 49ers* (3-5)
I'm not holding out any hope of the Bears being a good team with this pick, but rather jumping off of the San Francisco bandwagon (I hopped on that thing and that motherfucker shot straight off to the Castro). I'm still sore.
Postgame: That's it. I've never said this before, but Lovie's gotta go. Angelo is still the cancer in this organization, but Smith inherited the team that made it to the Super Bowl and has let it slip (hard) since then. He's a nice guy, but a total failure as a head coach. Chicago should try and get Bill Cowher before he's off of the boards. We need a coach, not some mealy-mouthed apologist.

Early Sunday Games:
Titans* (2-6) over Bills (3-5)
Despite the odds, das Wondertard is carrying the Titans on his shoulders. I bet they keep promising him trips to the zoo if he wins. That's motivation!

Saints* (8-0) over Rams (1-7)
Every single season there is one game where a great team looses a "gimme" game to a terrible team. This isn't that game.

Dolphins* (3-5) over Buccaneers (1-7)
O Florida!
Our home and phallic land!
True drunken love in all thy loins command.
With glowing meth pipes we shall rise,
The deep South smells like pee!
Gang wars and tides, O Florida,
We sail on rafts for thee.
God keep this land dirt-poor as it should be!
O Florida - We sail on rafts for thee.
O Florida - We sail on rafts for thee.

Vikings* (7-1) over Lions (1-7)
If Favre gets knocked out, the Vikings' back-up QB is really, really bad. I'm just saying is all...

Jets* (4-4) over Jaguars (4-4)
So how's that Giants -vs- Jets Super Bowl thing coming along there, NYC?

Steelers* (6-2) over Bengals (6-2)
This should be a damn fine game. The Chicago market has this one on CBS - It might be nice to watch a real game on Sunday for a change.

Broncos (6-2) over Redskins* (2-6)
I gave up up on the Redskins after week 3, I'm about to call the Bears' season dead, so all I have left at this point is (my new adoptive team) the Broncos... Who have just dumped two games straight. *sigh*
Postgame: Are you fucking kidding me?

Falcons (5-3) over Panthers* (3-5)
This match-up reeks of a trap game. Watch out for the upset in this one.
Postgame: Told you so - I should have listened to me.

Late Sunday Games:
Raiders* (2-6) over Chiefs (1-7)
I'd rather watch two bag-ladies fight over a discarded sack of tater-tots. Then again, who wouldn't?

Eagles (5-3) over Chargers* (5-3)
I think that my hatred of the Chargers is coloring my outlook in this one. The Eagles tend to lose in pairs, have a terrible record on the West coast, and are playing on a short week. I just can't bring myself to pick San Diego.

Cardinals* (5-3) over Seahawks (3-5)
Hey, it's the bi-polar Cardinals! Are they gonna be awesome this week or a terrible joke? Nobody knows.

Cowboys (6-2) over Packers* (4-4)
Okay, I understand why everyone in the national news media is trashing the Bears, what I can't figure is why no one is taking about the Packers loss to Tampa last week except in the terms of "The Buccaneers Finally Win One" type stories. Green Bay is fucking DONE - Season over. Yet still, a load of prognosticators are picking the Pack to win here. I just don't get it.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (6-2) over Colts* (8-0)
My (incredibly shortsighted) reason for picking the Pats here is because I figure that Indy is going to lose sometime this season, and this looks like the most likely team to beat them. That being said, the Colts tend to win the marquee games and lose in a match where they're heavily favored. Then again, the same can be said for New England.

Monday Night Game:
Ravens (4-4) over Browns* (1-7)
Right about now, 1996 to 1999 is starting to look like the halcyon era of the Browns franchise.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Boxer Briefs




Sorry to Josh for jinxing the both of us with my fucking article that essentially rubbed both of our nuts the wrong way... thus why I didn't post any picks this week... (in addition to not having any time to myself this week whatsoever!) Hopefully I can remove any jinx with my looked forward to absence.


Shadrow

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 9 Picks

Thanks Nate! I'm still busy scooping poop outta my Hanes ComfortSoft® boxer-briefs one week after your post on how great I was doing with my picks so far this season. Without any further Shadrow jinxin', I'm ready to redeem myself... I hope.

Last Week's Picks: 8/5
Season Record: 79/37

Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (4-3) over Redskins (2-5)
The Falcons almost beat the undefeated Saints last week - Impressive. The Redskins almost beat the winless Chiefs back in week 6 - Not so impressive.

Bears* (4-3) over Cardinals (4-3)
These two teams are peas in a pod. They swing between 'great' and 'pathetic' from week to week. The next 3 Bears games should determine whether they have a legitimate shot at the playoffs. Win 2 of 3, and the outlook's good - Lose more than one, and start rebuilding. I'm giving the Bears the benefit of the doubt here, since they still haven't lost at home this season.
Postgame: Ready... Aim... FIRE!

Ravens (4-3) over Bengals* (5-2)
In the first match-up between these two teams in Week 5, Benson clowned the Ravens defense. Nobody holds a grudge like Baltimore - Bet on the birds, hun.

Colts* (7-0) over Texans (5-3)
If the Texans played the Colts every week, then maybe I'd have better luck in picking their games. Thanks for the break, Indy.

Patriots* (5-2) over Dolphins (3-4)
The wildcat Fish (wild catfish?) have a lot of tricks up their sleeves. Belichick has nothing up his sleeves (because he cut them off). I still like the Pats here.

Packers (4-3) over Buccaneers* (0-7)
Hey, hold up! The Pack get the Suckaneers this season, and the Bears don't? What. The. Fuck?!? I'm calling shenanigans!
Postgame: The Vikings just made the playoffs during their bye week. Congratulations.

Jaguars* (3-4) over Chiefs (1-6)
Damn, I can't think of anything vaguely interesting about this game. The Chiefs fans' open hostility toward (KC running back) Larry Johnson is sorta intriguing, but he's out this week, so... nope... nothing.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (2-5) over Lions (1-6)
Wow, I thought the previous game was boring. I stand corrected. This one takes the generic ricecake.

Saints* (7-0) over Panthers (3-4)
I'd like to give up some props to Carolina for killing the Cardinals last week - Good stuff. Sorry to say, but your one-game winning streak ends here.

Giants* (5-3) over Chargers (4-3)
Grumpy McCoachalot told his Giants that this is a "do or die" game. That's a crazy-risky statement to make halfway through the season, but I say it pays off for 'em in this one.

49ers* (3-4) over Titans (1-6)
OMG! Did y'all see that barnburner between the Colts and Niners last week. These guys are stupid-good. That being said, I hope that the Titans hospitalize most of Samurai Mike's boys before their trip to Chicago next Thursday.

Sunday Night Game:
Cowboys (5-2) over Eagles* (5-2)
They go to the Link at night -They go where Iggles dare
They pick up every movement - They pick off every loser
McNabb's trapped in the pocket - Here comes DeMarcus Ware
-chorus-
Romo's no goddamn son of a bitch - You better think about it Philly
Romo's no goddamn son of a bitch - You better think about it Philly
Postgame: If anyone watched this game, you know that the above Misfits parody was fucking spot-on. Finally, something good this week.

Monday Night Game:
Broncos* (6-1) over Steelers (5-2)
Ouch! That decisive loss to the Ravens last week had to hurt. I say that Denver learns their lesson and pulls off a win for the home crowd.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 8 Picks

I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears... I'm not going to disparage the Bears...
FUCK THE BEARS!!!
Dammit.

Last Week's Picks: 9/4
Season Record: 71/32

Early Sunday Games:
Dolphins (2-4) over Jets* (4-3)
I haven't gotten my first pick right since week two. This AFC East match isn't helping to break that streak. I like the Fish here for some ungodly reason.

Giants (5-2) over Eagles* (4-2)
Man, This'll be a good one. I'd like to pick the Beagles here, but can't see the Giants dropping three straight games.

Broncos (6-0) over Ravens* (3-3)
The last few years I've HATED the Broncos (since they dumped Plummer for Cutler), but this year with Orton at QB, they're definitely back up in my top 3 favorite teams. This is gonna be a barn-burner - The Ravens three losses have come against the Patriots, Bengals, and Vikings in very close games. Go Denver!

Texans (4-3) over Bills* (3-4)
Why, oh why, am I forced to pick Texans games? It just isn't fair. I'm rocking a craptacular 1&6 record in picking Texans games this year - I blame Grossman.

Bears* (3-3) over Browns (1-6)
You rotten cocksuckers best win this one.

Cowboys* (4-2) over Seahawks (2-4)
Just when I think that the Cowboys are awful, they're good - Just when I think that the Seahawks are good, they're awful. Watch everything go all 'Freaky Friday' up in this motherfucker.

Lions* (1-5) over Rams (0-7)
The real bet here is whether Matt Stafford is gonna be able to play for Detroit. I'm taking 'em at their word and picking the Lions.

Colts* (6-0) over 49ers (3-3)
My declaration of the Niners winning the NFC West isn't looking so great right now. They're the best team in that division, but the stupid Cardinals keep refusing to lose.

Late Sunday Games:
Jaguars (3-3) over Titans* (0-6)
Tennessee has reanimated Frankentard in a last-ditch effort to get a win. The villagers grab pitchforks and light torches in eager anticipation.

Chargers* (3-3) over Raiders (2-5)
While the cops were investigating Cable's coaching beat-down, I'm amazed that they didn't collar JaMarcus Russell for murder. That turd has killed any chance the Raiders had at a winning season. With a QB swap between these two teams I'd bet on Oakland in 19 out of 20 matches.

Cardinals* (4-2) over Panthers (2-4)
I'm getting screwed in betting against the Cardinals. I'm working on the theory that if I start picking them, then they'll lose consistently - Everyone wins.

Vikings (6-1) over Packers* (4-2)
Wow! Everyone seems to think that Green Bay is going to win this one. I just don't see it. As far as I can tell, the Pack is outmatched entirely. The best thing that the Packers have going for 'em in this game are these T-Shirts.

-- No Sunday night game due to World Series --

Monday Night Game:
Saints* (6-0) over Falcons (4-2)
I understand that the Saints are probably going to lose sometime this season, but all y'all that are picking them to take a dump at home to a divisional opponent this week is ignant.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Shadrow's Week 8 Post

Having fallen on my sword last week, I will try to follow up with some picks that make sense in this insane NFL season. Let's just say that I still hold true to my little Pickers rant and that the big boys don't hold shit to Josh and I. I would have to be the least of the equation right now considering that almost everybody who was a shoe-in last week completely and utterly shit themselves in the most publicly fashion possible. So from now on my emotions nor my affinity for my beloved Bears shall get in the way of things.

Early Sunday Games:
Broncos over Ravens
Texans over Buffalo
Bears over Browns
Cowboys over Seahawks

Jets over Dolphins
Colts over 49ers
Eagles over Giants
Lions over Rams

Late Sunday Games:
Chargers over Raiders
Jaguars over Titans
Vikings over Packers
Cardinals over Panthers

Monday Night:
Saints over Falcons

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The NFL Pickers?


Plain and simple... the supposed pros of picking who will win from week to week have nothing on us average Joes who passionately follow the NFL from week to week.

The pros have access to countless statistics, instant insider information regarding injuries/ internal drama/ game mechanics and probably dedicate much more time in a week than either me or the Liar would care to give. (Considering that they are paid to do it.)

They talk to the average dregs of society as if they are gods of their domain, with all the infinite professional knowledge of their all too brief careers. They bore us to death with their endless rants about whether or not this player or that owner has the passion to take their team the distance, and whether or not TO or Crabtree or Romo or whoever in the fuck it is that week will give a damn and actually make an effort for the millions they make a year. I will make it plain and simple this week... you all can judge how you want...

Lets take a look at the breakdown of the main analysts (Current 2009 season)
ESPN
Allen (55-35), Golic (58-31), Hoge(62-28), Jaws(59-25), Mortenson(64-26), Schefter (63-27), Schlereth(62-28), Wickersham (59-31)

CBS Sports (now this is a joke)
Harmon(47-43) Prisco(41-49) Judge(51-39) Urbaro(43-47) Madden(39-51) Richard(51-39)

The Computer Predictors
Accuscore(62-28) Pick 'Em(63-27)

Where is the Liar at... (62-28)??

I won't even go into my record considering that I am a quasi-poser who couldn't even afford the time to get into a fantasy league... much less get into picking the full NFL season with a friend of 20 years because of a crazy personal schedule.

I know the Liar, and I know that he has a shitload of time on his hands at times, but for fuck sakes... There are 16 different accredited NFL predictors here. The Liar is being beaten by two (Mortenson and Schefter from ESPN by only a game or two), he's tied with 3, and beating the rest. His current record lies at...

11W-2L-3Ties

I couldn't find the ESPN 2008 stats(Hmmm I wonder why.) but the CBS 2008 stats were sad.

Let's just say that the liar Won out at...

6W-0L

Just to briefly say that any douchebag can bring you the general picks from week to week. And only a douchebag of these sorts (i.e. the Liar.) Can keep you genuinely entertained from week to week. Bring on the vinegar and water... (Liar douchebag is honored by his label...)

Now predicting the spread and all those other gambling things is something i will leave to the habitual losers... and to Vegas...

Shadrow

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 7 Picks

The Mad Road Warriors Beyond Thunderdome: That's my theme for this week. I'm only picking two (2) teams to win at home in week 7.
I'm fucking doomed.

Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 62/28

Early Sunday Games:
49ers (3-2) over Texans* (3-3)
I want to pick the Texicans here, but in my extensive research watching of NFL Network I discovered an interesting pattern: The Texans have gone loss, win, loss, win, loss, win... so far this season, so I'm extrapolating data from the formula and picking the Niners (and hoping for a career ending injury on Douchie McCrabtree). It's SCIENCE, people!

Packers (3-2) over Browns* (1-5)
Insert anal sex joke here.

Chargers (2-3) over Chiefs* (1-5)
I would love to see (and wouldn't be surprised by) a Chiefs upset here. Kansas City is pretty bad, but the Chargers rarely pass up an opportunity to disappoint.

Colts (5-0) over Rams* (0-6)
Breaking News: In return for Rush Limbaugh getting kicked from the ownership bid for the Rams, the White House just passed an emergency executive order that is going to give the Rams 1/3 of all points scored by the Colts in this game (in addition to their paltry earnings). Indy should still get by just fine despite this "redistribution" of wealth.

Steelers* (4-2) over Vikings (6-0)
I hate it when Nate picks first. Then I'm forced to find games to shift so that we're not picking the same across the board. I wanted to pick the Steelers here, Shadrow just gave me a push.

Patriots (4-2) over Buccaneers* (0-6)

Finally! This contest should prove to serve as colonial retribution the long running scourge of Barbary pirate aggression.

Late Sunday Games:
Jets (3-3) over Raiders* (2-4)
Remember back to ye olden day of September 28th, 2009? Chicago was a shoo-in for the 2016 Olympics, Polanski had just been arrested in Switzerland, Obama was facing strong opposition on health-care reform, and the New York Jets were a sure-bet for Super Bowl XLIV. Ah, the good old days.

Bills (2-4) over Panthers* (2-3)
I originally had the Panthers winning this one, then decided to show the Williams some love following their trouncing of the aforementioned Jets last week.

Bears (3-2) over Bengals* (4-2)
Cedric Benson has stated that he wants "revenge" on the Bears for cutting him. Well, the Bears want revenge on him for being Cedric Benson. It's gonna get ugly.

Falcons (4-1) over Cowboys* (3-2)
I want to pick the Cowboys here, but have gotten flamed in betting against Atlanta over the last couple of weeks. Twice bitten - Thrice shy.

Saints (5-0) over Dolphins* (2-3)
Hey, New Orleans: TRAP GAME! The Fish are way better than they look on paper, and their strengths play to the Saints' weaknesses. Still, I think that the Saints are good enough to overcome by the end.

Sunday Night Game:
Giants* (5-1) over Cardinals (3-2)
Hey, motherfuckers! You're the Arizona Cardinals - Start losing. Yeesh, some people just don't know their place.

Monday Night Game:
Eagles (3-2) over Redskins* (2-4)
My Skins finally face a team with a win this season. Run away!
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Shadrow's week 7 picks...

Ugh... The Liar took me to the cleaners last week... hopefully I can make a comeback this week...
Most of the undefeated teams have a cakewalk this week except for the Vikings who have to visit the Steelers this week... The Rams, Cheifs, and Buccaneers have some fun games facing Indy, Chargers and Patriots respectively. (I will fall upon my own sword now.)

Here are the picks.
Early Sunday:
Colts over Rams
49ers over Texans
Chargers over Chiefs
Packers over Browns
Vikings over Steelers
Patriots over Buccaneers

Late Sunday:
Panthers over Bills
Raiders over Jets
Falcons over Cowboys
Bears over Bengals
(how could my bears shit the bed so bad!)
Saints over Dolphins

Sunday Night:
Giants over Cardinals

Monday Night:
Eagles over Redskins

Byes= Ravens, Broncos, Lions, Jaguars, Seahawks, Titans

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Shadrow's Week 6 picks

Yeah... Riot Fest happenned and I could give a shit what went down that week... but the Liar and I are tied neck and neck since this little thing started... If you count my predictions starting week 3. Yeah... drinking was good that week but somehow I managed to sneak up on him.

We are at the point in the season where the sissys become the true sissys and the true studs of the league come to show their true colors. (And Nate gets a beatdown like none before!) There are more undefeated and completely smacked around teams in the league than there have been since the mid 70's. We are seeing an NFL with teams that can barely field a competative team VS. the elite of the league. We are seeing several teams that are undefeated (Giants, Saints, Colts, Vikings)

Esentially, I mean that the Raiders, Buccanners , Rams, Browns, Chiefs, Titans, Lions, Redskins, and Bills cannot compete with the rest of the league whatsoever. (OK, so 3 of these teams ended up kicking some ass...) So you esentially have 1/4 of the league that is in eternal decline... predictable defeats for the rest of the season with the exception of the occasional home win for the declining team. Thus the upper 1/4 of the league remains without many defeats and the entries into the playoffs remain predictable.... so now we are off with the week 6 predictions... edits will come to make things pretty... (and Nate jams his size 13 foot into his mouth and squeals in anguish...)

Sunday Early Games:
Jaguars over Rams
Saints over Giants
Vikings over Ravens
Packers over Lions

Bengals over Texans (Count on the Texans to fuck you on a pick!)
Steelers over Browns
Redskins over Chiefs (Fuck me... I flipped a coin on this one...)
Panthers over Buccanneers

Sunday Late Games:
Seahawks over Cardinals (UGH!!! unpredictable, the both of them...)
Eagles over Oakland (Oakland are you fucking kidding me!)
Jets over Bills
(Sanchez really screwed the pooch on this one... great time for the rookie jitters.)
Patriots over Titans

Sunday PM:
Bears over Falcons (Fuck the bears!!!)

Monday PM:
Denver over Chargers (OK... lucked out on this one...)

(Holy shit did I fall to the wayside this week... Nate has officially shit the bed!!!)

Green = Good
Red = Bad

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 6 Picks

Wow, last week was ugly. Every Riot Fest weekend my picks shit the proverbial bed, but I never see it coming. Probably because I'm always legless-drunk, sleep deprived, and half-deaf from all of the fun. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Onto week six...

Last Week's Picks: 8/6
Season Record: 53/23

Early Sunday Games:
Bengals* (4-1) over Texans (2-3)

Hey, I finally picked a Texans game correctly last week! Turns out, the trick was just picking them to lose. The Bengals should win this one (at the very last second, once again).

Packers* (2-2) over Lions (1-4)
Welcome to the bottom half of the NFC North, Fellas. Man, that feels good to say.

Vikings* (5-0) over Ravens (3-2)
I'd really like to see the Ravens pull off a road win here, but Baltimore couldn't corral Cedric Benson last week. Adrian Peterson is gonna have a motherfucking field day

Saints* (4-0) over Giants (5-0)
This is the marque game of week six. Duh. It could easily go either way, but I'm sticking with the home team.

Steelers* (3-2) over Browns (1-4)
I think that Pittsburgh had more of a challenge last week against the Lions. I'm just interested to see whether Derek Anderson completes a pass before Brady Quinn defects to the Steelers sideline.

Panthers (1-3) over Buccaneers* (0-5)
Settle down, Carolina. You just barely pulled off a win against the Skins last week (not a crowning achievement). This week you've gout to buckle down and get your heads straight for this game against Tamp... Uh... Nevermind.

Chiefs (0-5) over Redskins* (2-3)
The Redskins still have not played a team with a win yet this season. Aside from the first game (against the Giants) the combined record of their following 5 opponents has been 2&22. The two wins? Both the Lions and Panthers beat the Skins, and the only two teams that DC has beaten are the Rams and Buccaneers. FUCKING PATHETIC!

Jaguars (2-3) over Rams* (0-5)
The Jags ain't great, but the Rams are baaaaaa...d.
Sorry.

Late Sunday Games:
Seahawks* (2-3) over Cardinals (2-2)
The Shawks fucking decimated the Jaguars last week. It was brutal. Speaking of which, Owen Schmitt's berserker act worked so well last week that this week he's gonna dive into a woodchipper at halftime. Tune in.

Eagles (3-1) over Raiders* (1-4)
Does Tom O still consider himself a Raiders fan? We should all pony up and send that poor son of a bitch a cookie bouquet.

Patriots* (3-2) over Titans (0-5)
Yeah, The Titans really need a win and are dead in the water if they can't pull off a miracle in Foxborough. Too bad for them, it looks like Brady is just starting to get re-settled in his role.

Jets* (3-2) over Bills (1-4)
Goddamned Jets! I can't believe you lost to the fucking Fish last week. If you weren't playing the Williams this week, I'd so bet against you for that mess.

Sunday Night Game:
Bears (3-1) over Falcons* (3-1)
No whammies, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies!
This one's a leap of faith. I really want to believe that the Bears are for real this year, but am still gun-shy from the Grossie era. I think that Chicago can pull this off, but then again, I thought that the 49ers could do the same last week.

Monday Night Game:
Broncos (5-0) over Chargers* (2-2)
Everybody and their retarded third-cousin are picking the Bolts to upset (so much so, that the open betting line has Denver at -4). San Diego really needs this win, but I just don't see Denver rolling over for their most reviled divisional opponent. If someone is offering you Denver plus 3.5 points, make that bet.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 5 Picks

The Chicago market early games for this week are Vikings at Rams & Steelers at Lions. Ugh.
Now would be a great opportunity to clue you all into my new favorite channel: NFL Red Zone Live (channel 411 on Comcast -expanded- Chicago). It's only on Sunday afternoons and flips between all of the live games going on at that time. You get to see most red-zone possessions and key plays from across the league, plus it's commercial-free. I'm really digging it - If you have it in your cable/satellite package, this Sunday would be a great time to give it a shot.

Last Week's Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 35/13

Early Sunday Games:
Bills* (1-3) over Browns (0-4)
If it weren't for a last second field goal the Browns could have walked away from last week with a tie. Even a tie would be a step in the right direction for those clowns.

Steelers (2-2) over Lions* (1-3)
Um... Yeah... Moving on.

Cowboys (2-2) over Chiefs* (0-4)
Hey, all you Dallas wags who insist that the Cowboys suck. Take a good long look at the Chiefs this week, then reconsider your parameters of "suck".

Vikings (4-0) over Rams* (0-4)
Oh boy, I would LOVE to see an upset here.

Giants* (4-0) over Raiders (1-3)
I was briefly smitten with the Raiders early this season after watching their high-octane opener against the Chargers. That period of infatuation has now officially expired.

Eagles* (2-1) over Buccaneers (0-4)
McNabb's McRibs are McBetter. Not that it really matters, Philly could win this one with any of their active QBs behind center.

Panthers* (0-3) over Redskins (2-2)
Why am I picking a winless team to pull out an upset over my beloved Skins? Because my beloved Skins are a fucking train-wreck right now.

Ravens* (3-1) over Bengals (3-1)
This one's for some of the marbles. Yeah, that doesn't have such a great ring to it, huh?

Late Sunday Games:
49ers* (3-1) over Falcons (2-1)
I'm drinkin' the Niners' Kool-Aid - I might need to spike it with a healthy dose of booze if they can't pull off this statement-win.

Jaguars (2-2) over Seahawks* (1-3)
I was tempted to pick the Shawks here, but then flashed back to those day-glo jerseys and slipped into an epileptic fit. I can't reward that.

Cardinals* (1-2) over Texans (2-2)
The Texicans remain the only team that I still haven't picked correctly this season - I see no reason to kill the streak here.

Patriots (3-1) over Broncos* (4-0)
A Denver win here would be fucking sweet, I'm just not betting on it. Interesting note: The Patriots have not played a team yet this season with a loss. So far their games have been against teams with the following records: 0-0,1-0,2-0, 3-0, and now 4-0.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts (4-0) over Titans* (0-4)
A bunch of people are picking the Titans to pull off a huge upset here. A bunch of people are total fucking retards.

Monday Night Game:
Jets (3-1) over Dolphins* (1-3)
AFC East inter-divisional games are notoriously hard to predict. In situations such as these, I just bet against the Fish.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Shadrow's Week 5 Picks

These will be abbreviated even further this week... I will be out with the Liar @ Riot Fest all weekend. So the shit talking will commence even further.... Not to mention that we won't really give a shit what happens this weekend in the NFL 'til sometime next Wednesday.

Early Games:

Ravens*(3-1) over Bengals(3-1)

Buffalo*(1-3) over Browns(1-3)

Carolina*(0-4) over Redskins(1-3)

Steelers(2-2) over Lions*(1-3)

Cowboys(2-2) over Chiefs*(0-4)

Giants*(4-0) over Raiders(1-3)

Eagles*(3-1) over Buccaneers(0-4)

Vikings(4-0) over Rams*(0-4)

Late Games:

49ers*(3-1) over Falcons (3-1)

Texans(1-3) over Cardinals*(1-3)

Broncos*(4-0) over Patriots(3-1)

Seahawks*(1-3) over Jaguars(2-2)

Sunday PM:

Colts(4-0) over Titans(0-4)*

Monday PM:

Jets(3-1) over Dolpins(1-3)*

*=home team
Green=right pick
Red=wrong pick

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Ahhhh midweek NFL... drek...

Let us see where I am with the Liar.... Since I have been posting here, he is one ahead of me... unless he wants to take on the dare,,,,

Shadrow

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Shadrow's Week 4 picks

I went out on a limb last week with a bunch of picks and paid for it... 11-5 for the week... It is really late right now and I will make my picks really short and to the point. When in doubt I have gone with the home team. I will leave the silly banter to the liar this week.

Early Sunday Games:
Bears(2-1)* over Lions(1-2)
Love my Bears as always... fuck the lions...

Bengals(2-1) over Browns(0-3)*
Bengals are lookin' good... Mangini has no clue...

Texans(1-2)* over Raiders(1-2)
Texans are a mystery this year but I cannot pick the suckraiders.

Colts(3-0)* over Seahawks(1-2)
Seahawks will get eaten alive.... and pay for their dayglo last week...

Jaguars(1-2)* over Titans(0-3)
I think the Titans will not be able to overcome away from home. Having the most dissappointing start of the '09 season.

Giants(3-0) over Chiefs(0-3)*
Giants=good Chiefs=realllllly bad right now....

Ravens(3-0) over Patriots(2-1)*
Ravens have everything going for them aside from being 0-4 against the Pats... eek... hope I don't choke on this one.

Redskins(1-2)* over Buccaneers(0-3)
Suck vs. suck. I pick less suck.

Late Sunday Games:
Buffalo(1-2) over Dolphins(0-3)*
Miami has figured out every way to lose this year

Saints(3-0)* over Jets(3-0)
Hard one to pick but I give this one to the home team and to the QB with the most insane stats ever.

Cowboys(2-1) over Broncos(3-0)*
Yeah Kyle has got an O-Line but hasn't faced a real team yet this year... if non-homo Romo shows up then this one will go my way.

49ers(2-1)* over Rams(0-3)
Singletary will make sure his boys eat the Rams for Lunch, breakfast and dinner after the fluke loss that they had last week. Not to mention that the Rams now have the longest losing streak going so far...

Sunday Night
Steelers(1-2)* over Chargers(2-1)
Hard to pick... if the Steelers lose this one they are in serious trouble.

Monday Night
Vikings(3-0)* over Packers(2-1)
I hate the Brett but at home with all their weapons... they are too hard to beat.
oh and by the way fuck both of these teams!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 4 Picks

This week is gonna be ugly. I'm looking at the match-ups and there are only four games this week that I consider 'safe' bets.
If I walk away from week 4 above .500, I'll consider myself fortunate.

Last Week's Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 35/13

Early Sunday Games:
Ravens (3-0) over Patriots* (2-1)

For my money, Baltimore is the best team in the AFC right now. That's still cold-comfort in a match-up against the bi-polar Patriots.

Redskins* (1-2) over Buccaneers (0-3)
Last week DC bailed out Detroit (once again). Luckily for my god-awful Skins, the Bucs may be an even worse team than the Lions.

Titans (0-3) over Jaguars* (2-1)
I'm going to keep picking the Titans until they finally win a fucking game (not to be confused with 'THE fucking game', which is different).

Raiders (1-2) over Texans* (1-2)
Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhh! I'm trying my damnedest not to pick the Raiders here.
It's. Not. Working.
(note: I actually had Houston winning this, and switched it at the last moment.)

Bears* (2-1) over Lions (1-2)
The Lions got their big win last week, and now need to calm down before they crap their pants. Fuck, if the Lions pull off another win this week I'm wagering that they burn what's left of Detroit to the ground out of sheer excitement...
... um... "Go Lions"?

Bengals (2-1) over Browns* (0-3)
The Bengals actually look pretty damned good this year. Yeah, I can't believe I'm saying it either. If I'm from Cincy, this game looks like a huge trap.

Colts* (3-0) over Seahawks (1-2)
Man, those were some fucking ugly S'hawks jerseys last week, huh? The Seattle area JoAnne Fabrics must be having a clearance on their day-glo materials.

Giants (3-0) over Chiefs* (1-3)
If someone has a gun to your head and forces you to pick a winner this week, here's the game that might just save your life. Other than that, it's pretty much worthless.

Late Sunday Games:
Saints* (3-0) over Jets (3-0)
Here's this week's only match-up of undefeated teams. It should be a good one.

Bills (1-2) over Dolphins* (0-3)
I really should pick the Fish here, but my unrequited (and inexplicable) love of the Bills is gaying things up.

Broncos* (3-0) over Cowboys (2-1)
Hey kids, look at what Kyle Orton can do with an offensive line in front of him.

49ers* (2-1) over Rams (0-3)
The Niners are one last-minute miracle Favre pass away from being undefeated. The Rams remain defeated.

Sunday Night Game:
Steelers* (1-2) over Chargers (2-1)
The reigning Super Bowl champs just dumped two in a row to the Bears and the Bengals. Luckily for them, they've moved out of the 'B' teams and onto the 'C's.

Monday Night Game:
Vikings* (3-0) over Packers (2-1)
GB: You little slut, you, like, totally stole my boyfriend.
MN: Nu'uh. You chased him off with your rancid cheese-breath and ugly-ass snowmobile suits.
GB: You bitch! I hope a bridge falls down on top of you!
MN: You're fat.
GB: *runs away crying*
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Shadrow's Week 3 Picks (i.e. beatdown of the rookie!)

Yep it is time for my week 3 picks... Time to see who gets beaten down this week. Hopefully not me or my Bears. Week 2 saw a bunch of great action... my Bears managed to pull one out from under the superbowl champs, the Packers ended up getting packed where the sun don't shine, and the Vikings showed that they could be the dominating force in the NFC North. (Or the Lions still just suck that bad.)

Here goes my Week 3 Picks...
Early Sunday:

Lions(0-2)* over Redskins(1-1)

The Lions will not lose another one and will finally start to gel together as a unit. The Skins on the other hand will falter on the road. You look at the numbers and they say, Skins win... but I choose the other direction. Liar can laugh at me later.

Packers(1-1) over Rams(0-2)*

I really want to pick against the Pack but the Rams still are one of the worst teams in the league without an identity to speak of.

49ers(2-0) over Minnesota(2-0)*

Risky pick on my part but I think that Mr. Gore will be able to find the holes in Minnesota's stout run defense. The 49ers have shut down Peterson in the past and will force Favre to throw the long ball which will yield mistakes. Not to mention Samurai Mike has his team believing that they can beat anyone right now.

Falcons(2-0) over Patriots(1-1)*

Tony G. has helped open up Matt Ryan's options and the Patriots are beaten up a bit. Even thought the Pats are at home I think that the holes will open up in their depth and the Falcons running game will have a field day. Not to mention Tom Brady is still not firing on all cylinders.

Jets(2-0)* over Titans(0-2)

Sanchez has to be one of the most impressive rookie QBs I have seen in a long time and the Titans have choked badly since their great start last year.

Eagles(1-1)* over Chiefs(0-2)

I am not a fan of Vick but he could walk onto the field alone, with one arm tied behind his back and still outscore the Chiefs who have fallen on hard times. Not to mention Philly is at home.

Giants(2-0) over Bucs(0-2)*
G-Men=really good--- Bucs=really bad
Bucs fans must be missing Gruden right now.

Ravens(2-0)* over Browns(0-2)
Ray Lewis chose to stay with the Ravens this year and is proving to be an invaluable defensive leader as usual and Joe Flaco is proving that his first season wasn't a fluke. The Browns... well they are the Browns.

Texans(1-1)* over Jaguars(0-2)
Flip a coin... ah fuck it, I go with the home team.

Late Sunday:
Bears(1-1) over Seahawks(1-1)*
Got to go with Da' Bears on this one.

Saints(2-0) over Bills(1-1)*
Drew Brees is playing like a man possessed right now. 9TDs in 2 games... Nuf said.

Bengals(1-1)* over Steelers(1-1)
Last minute change here. After the Steelers derailing last week and the Bengals upsetting the Pack in Green Bay last week... I am riskily picking the Bengals @ home. More Liar fodder here.

Broncos(2-0) over Raiders(0-2)*
Raiders=really bad right now... Orton has mysteriously found his winning ways again.

Dolphins(0-2) over Chargers(1-1)*
After an embarrassing loss to the Colts last week the Dolphins have to beat the Chargers. I love strange offensive schemes...Go Wildcat!

Sunday Night:
Cardinals(1-1)* over Colts(2-0)
Cardinals @ home... Peyton had the light shining down on him last week... not again this week

Monday Night:
Cowboys(1-1)* over Panthers(0-2)

The Panthers are really bad right now... The Cowboys need to prove that the most expensive stadium ever built is good for something.

*=home team

red=bad picks

green=good picks




Friday, September 25, 2009

The Liar's NFL Week 3 Picks

Oh Shit, it's week three. This is the week where I always know just enough to get suckered into a bunch of losing picks. Weeks three and four are especially brutal because they are rife for upset with desperate teams matching up against teams that have a false sense of security (it started early last week with the Pats, Packers, and Steelers tanking out). This time makes for some great football, but some horrible picks.
Here we go. *crosses fingers*

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 22/10

Early Sunday Games:
Redskins (1-1) over Lions (0-2)*

Everyfuckingbody is picking the Lions to pull an upset here - It has turned into the upset d'jour for this week. Personally, I'd like to see it - I love the Skins, but Jason Campbell just isn't working at QB & Coach Zorn got savaged live on Redskins Radio (which is owned by the team). Not a good sign.

Packers (1-1) over Rams (0-2)*
The Rams almost beat the Skins last week and the Pack shit the bed against the Bungles... Dare we dream? Nope.

Vikings* (2-0) over 49ers (2-0)
I really want to pick the Niners here, but I know that's my heart talking, not my head.

Patriots* (1-1) over Falcons (2-0)
The Pats are one Buffalo kneel-down away from going 0&2, and they know that. The Falcons are good, but another New England loss will bring down a world of shit that the hoodie wants to avoid like the plague. I see the Patriots pulling this one out on sheer determination.

Jets* (2-0) over Titans (0-2)
The Titans had the best record in the NFL last season, now they're 0&2. They're hungry for a win right now and should win this one hands-down in a statement game. One problem: The Jets don't know that they're not supposed to win this

Eagles* (1-1) over Chiefs (0-2)
McNabb is still out with his busted McRibs, Garcia is off pricing real-estate in the greater Philly region, Kolb got corn-holed last week, and the ASPCA's least favorite ex-con is ready to take a few snaps for the first time in years. Lucky for the Beagles, they're playing Kansas Shitty. Philly could win this one with Vick's prison-husband behind center (with said center hiking the ball standing straight up --and who could blame him--).

Giants (2-0) over Buccaneers* (0-2)
If anyone is in a knock-out pool, this week is the week to use your Giants pick.

Ravens* (2-0) over Browns (0-2)
Nothing would make Cleveland happier here than a New Browns trouncing of the Old Browns, well, that and maybe not living in Cleveland... It's a close one. Either way, they're stuck.

Texans* (1-1) over Jaguars (0-2)
I've already given up trying to figure out the Texans this season. I'm just picking them because they're at home, and hoping for the best

Late Sunday Games:
Bears (1-1) over Seahawks* (1-1)

Did you Know?: 'Bear Down Chicago Bears' was written in 1941, the year after the Bears crushed the Redskins in the NFL Championship Game by the score of 73-0 (which remains the largest shutout margin in any game in the history of the NFL).

Saints (2-0) over Bills* (1-1)
I really want to pick my Williams in this one, but the Flood-City Saints have been putting up crazy-retarded numbers in the first couple of games.

Steelers (1-1) over Bengals* (1-1)
After last week's depantsing in Chicago, the Steelers are ready to beat the shit out of the next thing that walks past. Hello, Cincinnati!

Broncos (2-0) over Raiders* (1-1)
If the Raiders had ANYONE other than JaMarcus Russell in at QB, I'd pick 'em here. They don't.

Chargers* (1-1) over Dolphins (0-2)
Everything is telling me that Miami is going to win this, but then I go back to last week's game against the Colts. The Fish dominated that game with 2/3 time of possession, but then every time Manning got the ball he slung it down the field for a TD. Guess who else can do that? Yup, Phillip Rivers.

Sunday Night Game:
Colts (2-0) over Cardinals* (1-1)
Both of these teams have me perplexed this year - I can't get a good read on either of them, so I'll do what I always do in a situation like this: Bet against the Cardinals.

Monday Night Game:
Cowboys* (1-1) over Panthers (0-2)
Jerry Jones is foaming for a win in his own private Thunderdome. The 'Boys best get a win here before the owner goes all rabid-badger up on 'em.
---

Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team