Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Liar's NFL Week 9 Picks

I wasted this entire weekend reliving my childhood by endlessly playing Mega Man II on the PS2. I was at the final boss before the huge ending and realized that I didn't have enough rockets to finish the level (and no way to get 'em). Now I have to replay the entire game from the beginning, or just give up.

Seriously?!?

Is it just me, or were game designers a bunch of huge fucking pricks back then? With an entire weekend pissed away, I'm done with all that noise (unless someone releases Bionic Commando* or Kid Icarus anthologies for Xbox 360).
Anyway, I gave up on the retro video games and decided to spend my time on an equally worthless pursuit; blogging about professional sports. I'm just hoping that I don't get stuck at the end of this post and have to re-do it from word one.
That
would suck it.

Last Week's Picks: 9/5
Season Record: 69/47


Early Sunday Games:
Bills (5-2) over Jets (4-3)
The Bills are coming off of a bruising loss to Miami last week and the Jets are coming off of an unimpressive 17-seconds-from disaster win over the Chiefs last week. Favre hasn't been himself lately, and there's a bunch of speculation that his shoulder may be hinkey. I just don't think that he has what it takes right now to get the first win of his career in the city of Buffalo.

Bears (4-3) over Lions (0-7)
Remember back in week 6 when I warned the Redskins of a trap game against the winless Rams (which they subsequently lost)? Well, this is nothing like that. The Lions are so beat down that it would take Grossman behind center to hand them a win here.
Postgame: Wow, I almost jinxed that one. Sorry about the season, folks.

Jaguars (3-4) over Bengals (0-8)
The Jags are backed into a corner and trying like hell to salvage any hopes of a playoff berth. A trip to Cincinnati should heal what ails 'em (at least for this week).
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, Jacksonville.

Browns (3-4) over Ravens (4-3)
This one really depends on which Browns team takes the field this Sunday. Will it be the team that decimated the Super Bowl Champion Giants in week 6, or the team that sucked out loud in their last match-up with Baltimore in week 3?

Titans (7-0) over Packers (4-3)
This game should be a lot closer than anyone is expecting, and Green Bay has a good shot at an upset here. I'm hoping that the Titans win, but that the Pack lays down the hurt on Tennessee - The more stocked the Titan's DL is next week, the better shot the Bears have of ousting the last undefeated team in the NFL.

Buccaneers (5-3) over Chiefs (1-6)
The Bucs are a total mystery. They go from looking like a Super Bowl caliber team to a bumbling train wreck from week to week. It's downright perplexing. On the other hand, the Chiefs always look like crap. Thank you, Kansas City for making this an easy pick.

Rams (2-5) over Cardinals (4-3)
Since the Rams dumped (ex-head coach) Linehan, they've won two and had a shot at a win on the road against the mighty Patriots last week. WTF? That's crazy.

Vikings (3-4) over Texans (3-4)
Here's the coin-toss game of the week. This one could easily go either way. I'm doing what I always do in this situation: 1) pick the home team and/or 2) pick the team I want to lose, so that regardless of the result, I'm happy.

Late Sunday Games:
Dolphins (3-4) over Broncos (4-3)
I have no fucking idea why I'm picking Miami to pull off the upset at Mile-High Stadium. Call it a stupid, stupid hunch.

Falcons (4-3) over Raiders (2-5)
The only wins Oakland has gotten this year were over the Chiefs and the hobbled Jets. The Falcons haven't been giving up "gimme" games this year. All signs point toward an Atlanta win.

Giants (6-1) over Cowboys (5-3)
If Romo was in this one, It'd be a great fucking game. He's not. If you enjoy watching the Cowboys get loads of comeuppance, watch this one. If you're a gentle soul, turn away.

Eagles (4-3) over Seahawks (2-5)
It's the Battle of the Birds round II. Last week the winged raptors of Philly made a meal out of the fighting Falcons of Atlanta. This week they get the broken budgies of scenic Puget Sound. Okay, This really isn't a battle, more of a mercy killing.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots (5-2) over Colts (3-4)
When they were making up the schedule in the offseason, this must have looked like a powerhouse match-up of two (potentially undefeated) teams. That would have been great to watch. Now? Meh. I wouldn't be surprised if neither of these teams made the playoffs this year.

Monday Night Game:
Redskins (6-2) over Steelers (5-2)
WATCH THIS GAME! This is the marquee match-up of the week. Both of these teams are at the top of their games, and this should be a spectacle to behold. It's gonna be a good one.
Go Skins!
Postgame: I really hope you didn't watch that game. Ugh!
---

Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN


*Fuck me; they're releasing a NEW Bionic Commando with Mike Patton (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle) voicing the protagonist. I may be excited about a video game for the first time in 20 years.

2 comments:

olddogdk said...

Bears!

Chris B. said...

Two touchdowns. You can give him the pick since he RAN ONE IN.

HA and HA!

(Just kidding, I really don't think QB is the issue this year. Either should be able to succeed with a running game and an offensive line that actually tries to block people. In fact, I heard an interview with the tight ends saying that Forte's ability to block in a pass play has a lot to do with Orton's success this year.)