It's the last week of the NFL Regular Season, and much like a good number of the teams below, I'm taking a break this week.
I'm picking the teams that I want to win, rather than the teams that I think will win. I'm suspending the hell out of disbelief for one week and just going for the gusto. Hell, I was even tempted to pick a tie for the Bears this week, just because I thought that it would be that much more awesome if the Viking lose and the Bears tie to get into the playoffs. I had it down and then changed it because I realized what a stupid fucking pick that was. But the point is that I am actually tempted to pick a fucking tie.
It's totally that kind of a week.
Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 151/88/1
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (10-5) over Rams (10-15)
With an Atlanta win here and a Carolina loss, the Falcons could secure the NFC South championship. I say that just that happens. Why? because for the last 5 seasons every team that has finished last in that division has come back the next year to win the title. Falcons were the last-place finisher last year - I say they keep the streak going.
Patriots (10-5) over Bills (7-8)
The Patriots at 11 & 5 probably aren't gonna make the playoffs. Really. They need either a Baltimore loss or a Miami loss to make it in. I don't think that either of those things will happen (even though I'm picking the Jets to win later on in this post). Regardless, even if there's the slimmest hope of postseason play, Belichick is gonna go after the Williams full-throttle.
Bengals (3-11-1) over Chiefs (2-13)
With a loss here the Chiefs can nail down the second pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. You can do it, Kansas City! Lose one for the fans.
Packers (5-9) over Lions (0-15)
This is history folks! The Lions are on the precipice of becoming the worst team in NFL history. One more loss and "2008 Lions" will be synonymous with failure, thus supplanting the '76 (0-14) Bucs. They'll hold that honor until some future suck team goes 0 &18 once the League decides to bump up the regular season by a couple of games.
Also, I'd be reminisced if I didn't add that the Pack really needs a win here to keep the normally placid fan base from burning Lambeau Field to the ground. I'm kinda hoping for a Pack loss just to watch the fireworks in the off-season, but would rather see Detroit make history.
Colts (11-4) over Titans (13-2)
Neither of these teams has anything to play for this week. They're both locked-into their playoff positions, but I think that the Colts are looking at this one as a statement game. If Indy can get a win here, their post-season stock will sky-rocket.
Giants (12-3) over Vikings (9-6)
The Giants have nothing to play for, but I'm saying it again: "the Vikes aren't that great of a team". I think that the Giants 3rd stringers could handle 'em. Plus, Tom Coughlin isn't the kind of guy to roll over and take a loss going into the playoffs (remember the week 17 Giants/Pats game last year?). I say the Giants have some home-field fun and beat down Minnesota for the NY fans.
Saints (8-7) over Panthers (11-4)
If I pick North Carolina here, I negate my NFC South prediction made in the Falcons/Rams pick. The Saints are a damn fine team at home (shaky on the road), so I'm not going too far out on a limb with this one.
Steelers (11-4) over Browns (4-11)
This is Romeo Crenell's last game as coach of the Browns. Trust me, he'll be out before the clock strikes '12' on New Year's Eve.
Buccaneers (9-6) over Raiders (4-11)
Okay even my suspension of disbelief goes only so far. I can see the Bears winning, I can see the Cowboys losing at Philly, but I just cant see the Bucs losing at home to the Raiders. The Bears aren't getting into the playoffs with this wild card slot. Then again, I didn't think that the Raiders had a prayer against the Texans last week, so...
Bears (8-6) over Texans (7-8)
Is there anything that I'm missing here? I'm racking my brain to find any single reason for the Texans to play full-out this week. They napped last week against the Raiders and got beat, and they have even less to play for this week. The only other time these 2 teams played was back in 2004 and the Texans won, so there's no grudge. I think that Chicago has the tenacity to get a win when it really matters. Maybe I'm missing something, but, if so, I can't see it.
Postgame: Football is gay.
Late Sunday Games:
49ers (6-9) over Redskins (8-7)
The one week I pick against the Skins they go out and kill Philly's playoff hopes. That was so sweet. I enjoyed that so much last week that I'm picking against them again this week just for the hell of it.
Oh, and I'm saying it now: At this time next year, the 49ers will be in the playoffs - Mark my words.
Ravens (10-5) over Jaguars (5-10)
This game has "TRAP" written all over it. If Baltimore looks past this game, they could be watching the playoffs from Porters.
Jets (9-6) over Dolphins (10-5)
I really wanted to see the Jets make the playoffs this year just to piss-off every Packer fan. They need a win here and a New England loss to get in - Ain't gonna happen, but I'm holding out the slightest hope and picking 'em here just in case. Plus, I really can't stomach any feel-good bullshit stories about the Fish (which are coming in spades if Miami makes the postseason). Do not want.
Eagles (8-6-1) over Cowboys (9-6)
Can Tony Romo pull a "Romo" in a must-win game to make the playoffs rather in the first playoff game? That question has haunted all prognosticators for the last week or so. In his first season he dropped the ball during the winning field-goal attempt. In his second season he threw an interception into his endzone with less than a minute left on the clock. So I'm wondering that if (for his third season) he can lose a game (at the last minute) that's like a playoff game, but not actually a playoff game. I say he can.
Postgame: Hey Chicago, this could have been your playoff spot if you weren't too busy dropping passes.
Cardinals (8-7) over Seahawks (4-11)
Whichever team gets Arizona Cardinals in the first round of the playoffs are one bunch of lucky-ass motherfuckers. I say we all concur that the Niners are the better NFC West team and just send them to the playoffs this year.
Sunday Night Game:
Chargers (7-8) over Broncos (8-7)
I used to like the Broncos when Jake Plummer was the QB. That organization killed any goodwill I might have felt when they axed Plummer for uber-douche Jay Cutler back in 2006. They lost 2 of the last 3 games in '06 to finish 9 & 7 to just miss the playoffs. Cutler has maintained that losing record ever since (17-19). If they lose this game that QB-switch decision will go down as one of the all-time worst in NFL history.
If Ed Hochuli hadn't handed the game to Denver back in week 2, this game would be significantly less interesting. Now the winner goes on, the loser goes home empty-handed.
===
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Friday, December 26, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Quick Note
The Bears offense, with rookie phenom Forte and poised QB Orton, rank 26th in the league out of 32 teams. The Bears defense, with it's new break-but-sometimes-bend philosophy, is ranked 14th overall. Doesn't that seem backwards given the way both units have looked this year?
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks
I'm screwed. There's no way I'm gonna hit my goal of .667% accuracy this season unless I only have 2 bad picks in the next 2 weeks - Ain't gonna happen. So now I'm just having some fun and going crazy with the picks this week - A lot of heart, very little brain.
I'm only picking 2 home teams to win this week (and 14 teams to win on the road). I may be screwed, but at least I'm having a blast.
Let's see how this works.
Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 140/83/1
Thursday Night Game:
Colts (10-4) over Jaguars (5-9)
Indy can clinch a playoff spot with a win here, and nothing would make the sullen Jags happier than throwing a wrench in their divisional rivals' postseason plans. That being said, I think that Indy has the strength to win on the road and keep their playoff aspirations from being decided in next week's match-up with the 12 & 2 Titans.
Saturday Night Game:
Ravens (9-5) over Cowboys (9-5)
Hoo-fucking-Ha! This is gonna be interesting. This looks to be the final game at Texas Stadium, but it's gonna be a sour send-off for the home crowd. The 'Boys are careening straight into a brick wall heading up against the second-ranked defense in the NFL.
Remember the Alamo? They lost.
Postgame: As far as I can tell, I'm the only motherfucker who sincerely believed the Ravens could win this one - Bite me world.
Early Sunday Games:
Bengals (2-11-1) over Browns (4-10)
The Browns are decimated three deep at this point in the season, and Cincy has been getting an 'A' for effort lately. I don't like this pick one bit, and have very little faith in it, but I have to call for a Bengals win on the road.
Saints (7-7) over Lions (0-14)
A lot of prognosticators are picking the Lions to get their first win here, and I don't blame 'em one bit. The Saints are done, and the Lions have been gnashing and clawing hard to avoid going down as the worst team in NFL history. I just don't see New Orleans letting them off the hook merely as a good will gesture - They might be Saints, but they're not Jesus.
Steelers (11-3) over Titans (12-2)
Here's the AFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are on a huge up-swing and the Titans are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the Tennessee DL. I think that the Titans would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.
Dolphins (9-5) over Chiefs (2-12)
Here's my fire-forged-iron-clad-double-tough-steel-trap® lock of the week. Watch it be wrong, and me have an NFL induced embolism.
49ers (5-9) over Rams (2-12)
In Greek mythology Chronos served as the personification of time. He was imagined as an incorporeal god, serpentine in form, with three heads—that of a man, a bull, and a lion. He and his consort, serpentine Ananke (Inevitability), circled the primal world-egg in their coils and split it apart to form the ordered universe of earth, sea and sky.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with this game, but is infinitely more interesting than any insight I might have into this crap-match.
Patriots (9-5) over Cardinals (8-6)
This is the first home-team that I've picked to win this week. I'm so fucking doomed.
Chargers (6-8) over Buccaneers (9-5)
Yeah, I'm really going out on a limb with this one, but the Chargers still believe that they can win out and clinch the AFC West with 2 more Denver losses. I'm picking the Chargers to win and the Broncos to lose this week in hopes of a winner-takes-all throw-down between those two next week in San Diego. Plus, Tampa is beat-to-hell right now - Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Late Sunday Picks:
Jets (9-5) over Seahawks (3-11)
The Jets can't lose every single west-coast game this year. Can they? I just wanna see Brett make it deep into the playoffs this year and then watch the Packers organization explode in the offseason.
Texans (7-7) over Raiders (3-11)
Remember when the Raiders were the bad-asses of the NFL? Every team got the fear when those unruly bastards came up on their schedules - It was like opening up the front door and coming eye-to-eye with an axe-murderer. I say that the Raiders go retro this week and hack-up the Texans for next week's match-up in Chicago.
Bills (6-8) over Broncos (8-6)
Am I the only one who still thinks that the Broncos are a huge sham? The Williams haven't inspired confidence as of late, but still seem light-years ahead of any of the west-coast teams.
Eagles (8-5-1) over Redskins (7-7)
I still want to pick the Skins in this one, but I've learned my lesson after they've dumped 5 of their last 6 games. The Eagles still have the faintest hopes of grasping at a playoff spot - The Skins are hopeless. I just wish that the Washington would put in Colt Brennan so we can see how he functions in a real NFL game.
Falcons (9-5) over Vikings (9-5)
The Falcons have to win this one just so Chicago can lose the NFC North crown on their own against the Texans next week. We don't need any damned charity, we can fuck everything up on our own just fine, thank you very much.
Sunday Night Game:
Panthers (11-3) over Giants (11-3)
I'm just gonna crib from the previous Steelers/Titans match and swap out the pertinent info:
Here's the NFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Panthers are on a huge up-swing and the Giants are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the New York DL. I think that the Giants would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.
Monday Night Game:
Bears (8-6) over Packers (5-9)
No team would rather end Chicago's season early than the Pack, but Lovie knows that this one is a MUST WIN (bold all-caps).
If the Bears get bitched by the Packers twice in one season, and have the north-woodsers kill the season. Lovie Smith is going to transmogrify into Dusty Baker in the collective conscience of Chicago fandom skippy-quick. One loss here, and the next thing you know, he's gonna be basted in tar, dipped in feathers, and ridden out on a rail to Cincinnati. Metaphorically, of course (since everyone knows that Cincinnati only exists in the minds of Ohioans).
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
I'm only picking 2 home teams to win this week (and 14 teams to win on the road). I may be screwed, but at least I'm having a blast.
Let's see how this works.
Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 140/83/1
Thursday Night Game:
Colts (10-4) over Jaguars (5-9)
Indy can clinch a playoff spot with a win here, and nothing would make the sullen Jags happier than throwing a wrench in their divisional rivals' postseason plans. That being said, I think that Indy has the strength to win on the road and keep their playoff aspirations from being decided in next week's match-up with the 12 & 2 Titans.
Saturday Night Game:
Ravens (9-5) over Cowboys (9-5)
Hoo-fucking-Ha! This is gonna be interesting. This looks to be the final game at Texas Stadium, but it's gonna be a sour send-off for the home crowd. The 'Boys are careening straight into a brick wall heading up against the second-ranked defense in the NFL.
Remember the Alamo? They lost.
Postgame: As far as I can tell, I'm the only motherfucker who sincerely believed the Ravens could win this one - Bite me world.
Early Sunday Games:
Bengals (2-11-1) over Browns (4-10)
The Browns are decimated three deep at this point in the season, and Cincy has been getting an 'A' for effort lately. I don't like this pick one bit, and have very little faith in it, but I have to call for a Bengals win on the road.
Saints (7-7) over Lions (0-14)
A lot of prognosticators are picking the Lions to get their first win here, and I don't blame 'em one bit. The Saints are done, and the Lions have been gnashing and clawing hard to avoid going down as the worst team in NFL history. I just don't see New Orleans letting them off the hook merely as a good will gesture - They might be Saints, but they're not Jesus.
Steelers (11-3) over Titans (12-2)
Here's the AFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are on a huge up-swing and the Titans are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the Tennessee DL. I think that the Titans would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.
Dolphins (9-5) over Chiefs (2-12)
Here's my fire-forged-iron-clad-double-tough-steel-trap® lock of the week. Watch it be wrong, and me have an NFL induced embolism.
49ers (5-9) over Rams (2-12)
In Greek mythology Chronos served as the personification of time. He was imagined as an incorporeal god, serpentine in form, with three heads—that of a man, a bull, and a lion. He and his consort, serpentine Ananke (Inevitability), circled the primal world-egg in their coils and split it apart to form the ordered universe of earth, sea and sky.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with this game, but is infinitely more interesting than any insight I might have into this crap-match.
Patriots (9-5) over Cardinals (8-6)
This is the first home-team that I've picked to win this week. I'm so fucking doomed.
Chargers (6-8) over Buccaneers (9-5)
Yeah, I'm really going out on a limb with this one, but the Chargers still believe that they can win out and clinch the AFC West with 2 more Denver losses. I'm picking the Chargers to win and the Broncos to lose this week in hopes of a winner-takes-all throw-down between those two next week in San Diego. Plus, Tampa is beat-to-hell right now - Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Late Sunday Picks:
Jets (9-5) over Seahawks (3-11)
The Jets can't lose every single west-coast game this year. Can they? I just wanna see Brett make it deep into the playoffs this year and then watch the Packers organization explode in the offseason.
Texans (7-7) over Raiders (3-11)
Remember when the Raiders were the bad-asses of the NFL? Every team got the fear when those unruly bastards came up on their schedules - It was like opening up the front door and coming eye-to-eye with an axe-murderer. I say that the Raiders go retro this week and hack-up the Texans for next week's match-up in Chicago.
Bills (6-8) over Broncos (8-6)
Am I the only one who still thinks that the Broncos are a huge sham? The Williams haven't inspired confidence as of late, but still seem light-years ahead of any of the west-coast teams.
Eagles (8-5-1) over Redskins (7-7)
I still want to pick the Skins in this one, but I've learned my lesson after they've dumped 5 of their last 6 games. The Eagles still have the faintest hopes of grasping at a playoff spot - The Skins are hopeless. I just wish that the Washington would put in Colt Brennan so we can see how he functions in a real NFL game.
Falcons (9-5) over Vikings (9-5)
The Falcons have to win this one just so Chicago can lose the NFC North crown on their own against the Texans next week. We don't need any damned charity, we can fuck everything up on our own just fine, thank you very much.
Sunday Night Game:
Panthers (11-3) over Giants (11-3)
I'm just gonna crib from the previous Steelers/Titans match and swap out the pertinent info:
Here's the NFC "all the marbles" game of the week. The winner here has home-field throughout the playoffs. Right now the Panthers are on a huge up-swing and the Giants are on a definite down-swing. Trying to force a shift in momentum could trigger a drastic increases on the New York DL. I think that the Giants would be better served to play this one easy and keep the team healthy for the post-season.
Monday Night Game:
Bears (8-6) over Packers (5-9)
No team would rather end Chicago's season early than the Pack, but Lovie knows that this one is a MUST WIN (bold all-caps).
If the Bears get bitched by the Packers twice in one season, and have the north-woodsers kill the season. Lovie Smith is going to transmogrify into Dusty Baker in the collective conscience of Chicago fandom skippy-quick. One loss here, and the next thing you know, he's gonna be basted in tar, dipped in feathers, and ridden out on a rail to Cincinnati. Metaphorically, of course (since everyone knows that Cincinnati only exists in the minds of Ohioans).
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Pet Peavy
The Peavy deal is dead and I for one say…meh.
I like Jake Peavy and think he is as accomplished as any of the current Cubs starters. But is he worth losing the six players the Cubs might’ve lost in the two or three team deal? On paper, based on the numbers we know, many argued that the Cubs would have the most dominant rotation in the BL with Peavy as their number 1.
But they don’t play the games on paper. Games are played on a field and that is sort of my point.
Don’t be confused, I am not about to argue that Wrigley is too much of a hitter friendly park for Peavy and fly balls will be leaving the yard left and right on this guy. But after considering Jake Peavy’s Home and Away splits in 2008, he has an impressive 1.74 ERA @ sea level in SanDiego. But get Peavy on the road and his ERA jumps up to 4.28. Opponents hit 58 points higher against him when he dons the road uniform. This translated into only one fewer win on the road last year, but the Padres hit pretty well for Peavy on the road last year.
The Padres hitters were probably thrilled to be away from their home turf where the curveball bites more and the balls don’t travel quite as far…
At Wrigley and throughout the NL CENTRAL parks Peavy would not enjoy the advantages he had for more than half of his starts last year.
I like Peavy. I think the Cub rotation could be improved with his acquisition. But, I am not sure that he was worth all Towers wanted for him. I am fairly sure that as a Cub he would not have the same production as he did in SD. This is not because of any curse…just part of the telling numbers of baseball.
Peavy or no, the Cubs should be the favorite to win the NL Central again. Maybe they should pick up (or is it cowboy up) Derrick Lowe just so they don’t have to face his ass in October.
Just a thought…
I like Jake Peavy and think he is as accomplished as any of the current Cubs starters. But is he worth losing the six players the Cubs might’ve lost in the two or three team deal? On paper, based on the numbers we know, many argued that the Cubs would have the most dominant rotation in the BL with Peavy as their number 1.
But they don’t play the games on paper. Games are played on a field and that is sort of my point.
Don’t be confused, I am not about to argue that Wrigley is too much of a hitter friendly park for Peavy and fly balls will be leaving the yard left and right on this guy. But after considering Jake Peavy’s Home and Away splits in 2008, he has an impressive 1.74 ERA @ sea level in SanDiego. But get Peavy on the road and his ERA jumps up to 4.28. Opponents hit 58 points higher against him when he dons the road uniform. This translated into only one fewer win on the road last year, but the Padres hit pretty well for Peavy on the road last year.
The Padres hitters were probably thrilled to be away from their home turf where the curveball bites more and the balls don’t travel quite as far…
At Wrigley and throughout the NL CENTRAL parks Peavy would not enjoy the advantages he had for more than half of his starts last year.
I like Peavy. I think the Cub rotation could be improved with his acquisition. But, I am not sure that he was worth all Towers wanted for him. I am fairly sure that as a Cub he would not have the same production as he did in SD. This is not because of any curse…just part of the telling numbers of baseball.
Peavy or no, the Cubs should be the favorite to win the NL Central again. Maybe they should pick up (or is it cowboy up) Derrick Lowe just so they don’t have to face his ass in October.
Just a thought…
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks
Fucking gotta love those Bears. They're gonna fucking kill me, but holy shit, what a game. After Thursday, the rest of this week is gravy.
Let's ladle it on.
Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 130/77/1
Thursday Night Game:
Bears (7-6) over Saints (7-6)
The one thing that struck me recently is that I suddenly realized that I haven't enjoyed watching Bears games since week 3 of this season when they lost the lead within the 2 minute-warning to lose their second game in a row. Every game since then has had an ominous cloud hanging over the field.
I remember a few years ago (in the first Orton era) when if the Bears were behind by 14 going into the 4th quarter, I was hopeful. Now if they have a lead of 14 going into the 4th, I feel apprehensive. Hell, last fucking week I was convinced that were were going to give up a 17 point lead in the final quarter. It never happened, but I don't think that I'm the only PTSD Bears fan out there.
Chicago really needs to win out to give the franchise its swagger back - It either starts here, or ends here. Period. End.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (8-5) over Buccaneers (9-4)
Tampa got hit hard last week at Carolina. It wasn't a knock-out, but it will take them a couple of weeks to get back on their feet. I like Atlanta's chances against the punch-drunk pirates.
Redskins (7-6) over Bengals (1-11-1)
My Skins really need a win here, and will get it if they can stop the explosive running power of Cedric Benson (who, with a good game here, might actually finish this season with positive running yardage). Also, look for Ocho Cinco to try and sneak over to the Skins bench during the game. He's hoping that nobody will notice if he suits up in burgundy and gold for the second half.
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, you bums.
Seahawks (2-11) over Rams (2-11)
Nofuckingbody wants to watch this turd-fest. Even the St. Louis FOX affiliate switched over to the Falcons -vs- Bucs game. Really - Here's the distribution MAP.
Dolphins (8-5) over 49ers (5-8)
After last week's HUGE upset of the Jets, it looks like Samurai Mike is gonna hold on to his coaching job in the offseason. If he can finagle another win here, that position will be guaranteed.
Jets (8-5) over Bills (6-7)
Those damned Bills. It looked like they were gonna be a contender this year, and then the wheels fell right the fuck off of the organization. The Jets really need a win here to end their 2 game slide and rack up another divisional win. New York can't afford to lose this one, I see 'em pulling a win on the home-front.
Colts (9-4) over Lions (0-14)
How excited is everybody at the prospect of the Lions going 0 & 16? I'm fucking jazzed. Here's their last 3: at Indy, vs. New Orleans, & at Green Bay. It's gonna happen, people!
Chargers (5-8) over Chiefs (2-11)
Back in week 10, I promised that I would pick Kansas Shitty in this game - I totally lied.
Packers (5-8) over Jaguars (4-9)
I'm tempted to pick the Jags at home in this march of the damned, but they looked so terrible against the Bears that I'm giving Green Bay the benefit of the doubt.
Titans (12-1) over Texans (6-7)
The Texicans are en fuego right now. I'd love to pick 'em to upset, but the Titans have to maintain a strong front going into the playoffs.
Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals (8-5) over Vikings (8-5)
I never thought I'd be excited about sitting down to watch a Vikes/Cards game, but here we are. I'm gonna be glued-down for this one. Go Arizona!
Panthers (10-3) over Broncos (8-5)
When is the AFC West going to go away and stop wasting our time? Dealing with these sucks week in and week out is like being stuck next to a bum at the bus stop. He keeps talking to you, begging for money, and not making one lick of sense, but there's really nothing you can do but wait and weather the storm until the bus comes or he gives up and wanders off to defecate behind the 7-11 dumpster.
Ravens (9-4) over Steelers (10-3)
Man, this is gonna be one hell of a game. I'm hoping that the Cards throw down a blow-out on the Vikes so that I can switch to this game at half-time. This one is gonna be brutal. I like the Purple Birds at home, but just barely.
Patriots (8-5) over Raiders (3-10)
Here's another fucking AFC West team wasting our time (and New England's).
Sunday Night Game:
Giants (11-2) over Cowboys (8-5)
Terrell Owens gets a bad rap for being a "me first" player, and he's gotten slammed in the press for his new feud with Saint Romo. Say what you want, but I think that in the video clip (below) he makes an articulate, well thought out arguement for getting more passes in the upcoming weeks.
Here it is, Terrell Owens in his own words:
Monday Night Game:
Eagles (7-5-1) over Browns (4-9)
Lets face it, Philly isn't getting into the playoffs this year (that tie really did hurt 'em), but they're playing with a ferocity. I feel bad for anyone coming up against them for the rest of this season.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Let's ladle it on.
Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 130/77/1
Thursday Night Game:
Bears (7-6) over Saints (7-6)
The one thing that struck me recently is that I suddenly realized that I haven't enjoyed watching Bears games since week 3 of this season when they lost the lead within the 2 minute-warning to lose their second game in a row. Every game since then has had an ominous cloud hanging over the field.
I remember a few years ago (in the first Orton era) when if the Bears were behind by 14 going into the 4th quarter, I was hopeful. Now if they have a lead of 14 going into the 4th, I feel apprehensive. Hell, last fucking week I was convinced that were were going to give up a 17 point lead in the final quarter. It never happened, but I don't think that I'm the only PTSD Bears fan out there.
Chicago really needs to win out to give the franchise its swagger back - It either starts here, or ends here. Period. End.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons (8-5) over Buccaneers (9-4)
Tampa got hit hard last week at Carolina. It wasn't a knock-out, but it will take them a couple of weeks to get back on their feet. I like Atlanta's chances against the punch-drunk pirates.
Redskins (7-6) over Bengals (1-11-1)
My Skins really need a win here, and will get it if they can stop the explosive running power of Cedric Benson (who, with a good game here, might actually finish this season with positive running yardage). Also, look for Ocho Cinco to try and sneak over to the Skins bench during the game. He's hoping that nobody will notice if he suits up in burgundy and gold for the second half.
Postgame: Welcome to the offseason, you bums.
Seahawks (2-11) over Rams (2-11)
Nofuckingbody wants to watch this turd-fest. Even the St. Louis FOX affiliate switched over to the Falcons -vs- Bucs game. Really - Here's the distribution MAP.
Dolphins (8-5) over 49ers (5-8)
After last week's HUGE upset of the Jets, it looks like Samurai Mike is gonna hold on to his coaching job in the offseason. If he can finagle another win here, that position will be guaranteed.
Jets (8-5) over Bills (6-7)
Those damned Bills. It looked like they were gonna be a contender this year, and then the wheels fell right the fuck off of the organization. The Jets really need a win here to end their 2 game slide and rack up another divisional win. New York can't afford to lose this one, I see 'em pulling a win on the home-front.
Colts (9-4) over Lions (0-14)
How excited is everybody at the prospect of the Lions going 0 & 16? I'm fucking jazzed. Here's their last 3: at Indy, vs. New Orleans, & at Green Bay. It's gonna happen, people!
Chargers (5-8) over Chiefs (2-11)
Back in week 10, I promised that I would pick Kansas Shitty in this game - I totally lied.
Packers (5-8) over Jaguars (4-9)
I'm tempted to pick the Jags at home in this march of the damned, but they looked so terrible against the Bears that I'm giving Green Bay the benefit of the doubt.
Titans (12-1) over Texans (6-7)
The Texicans are en fuego right now. I'd love to pick 'em to upset, but the Titans have to maintain a strong front going into the playoffs.
Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals (8-5) over Vikings (8-5)
I never thought I'd be excited about sitting down to watch a Vikes/Cards game, but here we are. I'm gonna be glued-down for this one. Go Arizona!
Panthers (10-3) over Broncos (8-5)
When is the AFC West going to go away and stop wasting our time? Dealing with these sucks week in and week out is like being stuck next to a bum at the bus stop. He keeps talking to you, begging for money, and not making one lick of sense, but there's really nothing you can do but wait and weather the storm until the bus comes or he gives up and wanders off to defecate behind the 7-11 dumpster.
Ravens (9-4) over Steelers (10-3)
Man, this is gonna be one hell of a game. I'm hoping that the Cards throw down a blow-out on the Vikes so that I can switch to this game at half-time. This one is gonna be brutal. I like the Purple Birds at home, but just barely.
Patriots (8-5) over Raiders (3-10)
Here's another fucking AFC West team wasting our time (and New England's).
Sunday Night Game:
Giants (11-2) over Cowboys (8-5)
Terrell Owens gets a bad rap for being a "me first" player, and he's gotten slammed in the press for his new feud with Saint Romo. Say what you want, but I think that in the video clip (below) he makes an articulate, well thought out arguement for getting more passes in the upcoming weeks.
Here it is, Terrell Owens in his own words:
Monday Night Game:
Eagles (7-5-1) over Browns (4-9)
Lets face it, Philly isn't getting into the playoffs this year (that tie really did hurt 'em), but they're playing with a ferocity. I feel bad for anyone coming up against them for the rest of this season.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Kid K Sera Sera
Pending the results of a physical it looks as if Kerry Wood will be a Cleveland Indian as early as tomorrow.
Maybe he and Joe Borowski can swap Larry Rothschild-hands-on-hips-while-crop-dusting-during-pregame-warm-up stories?
Who knows, if he works hard over the winter, Middle Aged K could strike out 20 batters in a single season.
Whatever will be will be, but I hope what will be will be Carlos Quentin taking the "good" half of Broke Arm Mountain deep into the Cleveland night for a few late-inning WhiteSOX winners next summer.
Maybe he and Joe Borowski can swap Larry Rothschild-hands-on-hips-while-crop-dusting-during-pregame-warm-up stories?
Who knows, if he works hard over the winter, Middle Aged K could strike out 20 batters in a single season.
Whatever will be will be, but I hope what will be will be Carlos Quentin taking the "good" half of Broke Arm Mountain deep into the Cleveland night for a few late-inning WhiteSOX winners next summer.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Look at What they Did to My Field
Can it be that the turf on the New & Improved Soldier Field is being maligned as much as the old bumpy, greentop from the Vet?
If you are one of those folks that believe Tom Waddle (who actually played on that field) or Dan Dickdorf from the sorry-ass CBS team...there is only one solution to this problem.
Da Bears need to reach out to Da Sodfather.
If you are one of those folks that believe Tom Waddle (who actually played on that field) or Dan Dickdorf from the sorry-ass CBS team...there is only one solution to this problem.
Da Bears need to reach out to Da Sodfather.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks
Hey week 13, fucking eat it. You single-handedly killed my love of football.
I'm gonna keep doing these picks, but I'm not gonna like it.
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 119/72/1
Thursday Night Game:
Chargers (4-8) over Raiders (3-9)
Both of these teams have proven that there's no game that they can't manage to lose. I'm just gonna pick the home-team and hope that I'm wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Bears (6-6) over Jaguars (4-8)
The Bears have still got a really good shot at winning the NFC North. The final 4 games are against teams without winning records, whereas the Vikings have a much tougher schedule and are about to lose the Williams sisters going into the home-stretch. I'm picking the Bears to win the division, and then get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.
Vikings (7-5) over Lions (0-12)
Have fun in this one, Minneapolis. This is your last win of the season.
Packers (5-7) over Texans (5-7)
The Pack has a really good shot of winning out this season (if they can win against the Bears at Soldier Field on the 22nd). As far as I'm concerned, the NFC North is still wide-open. All bets are off of the table.
Postgame: Look on the bright side, Green Bay; you'll have plenty of opportunities to watch Brett Favre in playoff games this year.
Titans (11-1) over Browns (4-8)
It's too early for Tennessee to take a nap here. They've got a good hold on homefield-throughout, but could lose it to the Steelers if they go into hibernation for the last 4 weeks.
Colts (8-4) over Bengals (1-10-1)
Chad (Ocho Cinco) Johnson is gonna look damn fine in a Redskins jersey next season.
Falcons (8-4) over Saints (6-6)
I really want to pick the Saints to win at home here, but I keep getting burned whenever I put my faith in New Orleans.
Postgame: ...and burned when I pick against 'em. Stupid voodoo.
Giants (11-1) over Eagles (6-5-1)
The problem with Philly is that they're so god-damned erratic that you have no idea which team is gonna show up from week to week. That doesn't really matter this week - The Giants are in full domination mode.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (7-5) over Chiefs (2-10)
The Broncos are taking their dear sweet time in limping into the playoffs. It's pretty damned sad that the Chargers still have a (small) shot at winning this division. The Broncos need to win this gimme game if they want to sleep soundly any time before January.
Dolphins (7-5) over Bills (6-6)
Hello, Canada! Who's bright idea was it to do a late-season dome game up in Toronto against the Dolphins? Way to negate your biggest advantage in a "home" game. If this was in Ralph Wilson Stadium, I'd pick the Bills, but Since it's in the Rogers Centre Dome, I'm going with the Fish.
Jets (8-4) over 49ers (4-8)
This has the potential of being the Jets' biggest embarrassment of the season. The Niners are clicking at home and are setting their sights on grounding the high-flying Jets. New York has to keep focus, or risk being written-off going into the playoffs.
Postgame: Told 'ya.
Patriots (7-5) over Seahawks (2-10)
Another good AFC East team visiting another blowful NFC West team (see above). Same rules apply.
Cardinals (7-5) over Rams (2-10)
It looks like the Cards have the NFC West division locked-down. They'll make great fodder for one of the NFC wild-card teams this year.
Steelers (9-3) over Cowboys (8-4)
I'm gonna be front & center for this one Sunday afternoon. This should be a great game and could easily go either way. I'm giving Pitttsburgh the advantage on homefield, where the weather should be a huge advantage.
Sunday Night Game:
Ravens (8-4) over Redskins (7-5)
If the Skins can get a win here, I think that they'll be a lock for a playoff spot. If they lose here, they're in real trouble. I'm pulling hard for my Skins in this one, but calling it like I see it.
Monday Night Game:
Buccaneers (9-3) over Panthers (9-3)
I have no idea why I'm picking the Bucs in this coin-toss. Usually, I just go with the home team in situations like this, but (for some reason) I think that Tampa has the edge here.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
I'm gonna keep doing these picks, but I'm not gonna like it.
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 119/72/1
Thursday Night Game:
Chargers (4-8) over Raiders (3-9)
Both of these teams have proven that there's no game that they can't manage to lose. I'm just gonna pick the home-team and hope that I'm wrong.
Early Sunday Games:
Bears (6-6) over Jaguars (4-8)
The Bears have still got a really good shot at winning the NFC North. The final 4 games are against teams without winning records, whereas the Vikings have a much tougher schedule and are about to lose the Williams sisters going into the home-stretch. I'm picking the Bears to win the division, and then get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.
Vikings (7-5) over Lions (0-12)
Have fun in this one, Minneapolis. This is your last win of the season.
Packers (5-7) over Texans (5-7)
The Pack has a really good shot of winning out this season (if they can win against the Bears at Soldier Field on the 22nd). As far as I'm concerned, the NFC North is still wide-open. All bets are off of the table.
Postgame: Look on the bright side, Green Bay; you'll have plenty of opportunities to watch Brett Favre in playoff games this year.
Titans (11-1) over Browns (4-8)
It's too early for Tennessee to take a nap here. They've got a good hold on homefield-throughout, but could lose it to the Steelers if they go into hibernation for the last 4 weeks.
Colts (8-4) over Bengals (1-10-1)
Chad (Ocho Cinco) Johnson is gonna look damn fine in a Redskins jersey next season.
Falcons (8-4) over Saints (6-6)
I really want to pick the Saints to win at home here, but I keep getting burned whenever I put my faith in New Orleans.
Postgame: ...and burned when I pick against 'em. Stupid voodoo.
Giants (11-1) over Eagles (6-5-1)
The problem with Philly is that they're so god-damned erratic that you have no idea which team is gonna show up from week to week. That doesn't really matter this week - The Giants are in full domination mode.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (7-5) over Chiefs (2-10)
The Broncos are taking their dear sweet time in limping into the playoffs. It's pretty damned sad that the Chargers still have a (small) shot at winning this division. The Broncos need to win this gimme game if they want to sleep soundly any time before January.
Dolphins (7-5) over Bills (6-6)
Hello, Canada! Who's bright idea was it to do a late-season dome game up in Toronto against the Dolphins? Way to negate your biggest advantage in a "home" game. If this was in Ralph Wilson Stadium, I'd pick the Bills, but Since it's in the Rogers Centre Dome, I'm going with the Fish.
Jets (8-4) over 49ers (4-8)
This has the potential of being the Jets' biggest embarrassment of the season. The Niners are clicking at home and are setting their sights on grounding the high-flying Jets. New York has to keep focus, or risk being written-off going into the playoffs.
Postgame: Told 'ya.
Patriots (7-5) over Seahawks (2-10)
Another good AFC East team visiting another blowful NFC West team (see above). Same rules apply.
Cardinals (7-5) over Rams (2-10)
It looks like the Cards have the NFC West division locked-down. They'll make great fodder for one of the NFC wild-card teams this year.
Steelers (9-3) over Cowboys (8-4)
I'm gonna be front & center for this one Sunday afternoon. This should be a great game and could easily go either way. I'm giving Pitttsburgh the advantage on homefield, where the weather should be a huge advantage.
Sunday Night Game:
Ravens (8-4) over Redskins (7-5)
If the Skins can get a win here, I think that they'll be a lock for a playoff spot. If they lose here, they're in real trouble. I'm pulling hard for my Skins in this one, but calling it like I see it.
Monday Night Game:
Buccaneers (9-3) over Panthers (9-3)
I have no idea why I'm picking the Bucs in this coin-toss. Usually, I just go with the home team in situations like this, but (for some reason) I think that Tampa has the edge here.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
Monday, December 1, 2008
Who Else Can I Root For?
If it was at least a close game last night I wouldn't be thinking this stuff, but what's the point of hoping for a playoff berth? This is NOT a superbowl team. I am convinced now more than ever that the coaches suck. I am also convinced that we should have dealt Devin Hester after last season, although I understand why we didn't.
I remember back in the 2005 season that I wasn't totally convinced by the Bears. This was the "bend but don't break" defense that worked properly and a functional running game with Thomas Jones. More importantly, however, was the feeling by everyone in the organization that they were better than mediocre. Getting to the superbowl proved that, but that's where they stalled out.
Since then, they have sucked. So, here's my quick assessment of a number of individuals:
1. Lovie Smith - people say he's more animated away from the media. I don't buy it. Also, on the field of play, he appears to make bad decisions. I'm not sold on him as the long-term coach of the Bears - especially with the current roster.
2. Bob Babich - haven't seen one good thing since he's been at the helm, and his superstars are healthy again. Time to make a switch.
3. Ron Turner - have never been a fan, the four-down stall on the goal line last night (at MN) just proved that he doesn't understand the strengths and weaknesses of his own offense, and it's not like he just got here. Time to make a switch.
4. Brian Urlacher - needs to be heard or something. Not sure why he appears to have been a baby for the past few years, but he only has flashes of greatness in that time. He's here, so get a coordinator that will feature him.
5. Lance Briggs - a guy I bagged when he held out as not being worth it while we still have Urlacher. I was 100% wrong. Of all the guys that got paid, he's still hitting dudes like he has something to prove.
6. Mike Brown - great player when he's healthy, although he seems older this year.
7. Nate Vasher - where did "the Interceptor" disappear to? This guy kind of sucks.
8. Charles Tillman - still a great corner, but I think he's the barometer for the entire defense. And his play and facial expressions are exaspirated.
9. Matt Forte - I feel sorry for him because he's one of the few players on the field that doesn't seem to care about extracurriculars. He just wants to play the game. The fact that he didn't hold out for more money kind of proves it. Reminds me of a young Brian Urlacher.
10. Kyle Orton - take that, Rex bashers! He's not that good, either. Or maybe it has nothing to do with the QB at all. Maybe the coordinator, offensive line, and receivers also play into the equation. He's definitely made strides this year, but it all went out the window last night.
11. Devin Hester - it's too late now, he's part of the team and he's getting paid. Abysmal numbers this year.
12. Adrian Peterson - why did we get Kevin Jones? He wasn't that good in Detroit, and our AP fights harder for yards.
13. Greg Olsen - I had such high hopes here, but is he just another Jeremy Shockey? (The Giants won the superbowl with Shockey on the sidelines.)
I think that's it. So, where do we go from here?
New coaches - I say we put the full-court press on a Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer. The premier name would hopefully garner some control and create a more solid, long-term success. Let them bring in coordinators of their choosing. Lovie seems to have lost this team, and I do not want to sit through more attrition, just waiting for contracts to end.
New receivers - in the short term, I have given up on our current group. Lloyd looked like he could break out early in the year, but he has a glass jaw, apparently. Forte is the only sure thing receiver (maybe Des Clark) and that is just sad.
New QB - I don't care if we keep Orton, but maybe the McNabb era can get started. I don't think he's done winning, and there's a shortage in the league. Let McNabb and Orton battle it out in the pre-season.
Defense - I would hope that good recruiting would injury-proof some of these positions and a new coordinator would light a fire under the current starters. Make Urlacher work a little.
That's a lot to do in a year.
I remember back in the 2005 season that I wasn't totally convinced by the Bears. This was the "bend but don't break" defense that worked properly and a functional running game with Thomas Jones. More importantly, however, was the feeling by everyone in the organization that they were better than mediocre. Getting to the superbowl proved that, but that's where they stalled out.
Since then, they have sucked. So, here's my quick assessment of a number of individuals:
1. Lovie Smith - people say he's more animated away from the media. I don't buy it. Also, on the field of play, he appears to make bad decisions. I'm not sold on him as the long-term coach of the Bears - especially with the current roster.
2. Bob Babich - haven't seen one good thing since he's been at the helm, and his superstars are healthy again. Time to make a switch.
3. Ron Turner - have never been a fan, the four-down stall on the goal line last night (at MN) just proved that he doesn't understand the strengths and weaknesses of his own offense, and it's not like he just got here. Time to make a switch.
4. Brian Urlacher - needs to be heard or something. Not sure why he appears to have been a baby for the past few years, but he only has flashes of greatness in that time. He's here, so get a coordinator that will feature him.
5. Lance Briggs - a guy I bagged when he held out as not being worth it while we still have Urlacher. I was 100% wrong. Of all the guys that got paid, he's still hitting dudes like he has something to prove.
6. Mike Brown - great player when he's healthy, although he seems older this year.
7. Nate Vasher - where did "the Interceptor" disappear to? This guy kind of sucks.
8. Charles Tillman - still a great corner, but I think he's the barometer for the entire defense. And his play and facial expressions are exaspirated.
9. Matt Forte - I feel sorry for him because he's one of the few players on the field that doesn't seem to care about extracurriculars. He just wants to play the game. The fact that he didn't hold out for more money kind of proves it. Reminds me of a young Brian Urlacher.
10. Kyle Orton - take that, Rex bashers! He's not that good, either. Or maybe it has nothing to do with the QB at all. Maybe the coordinator, offensive line, and receivers also play into the equation. He's definitely made strides this year, but it all went out the window last night.
11. Devin Hester - it's too late now, he's part of the team and he's getting paid. Abysmal numbers this year.
12. Adrian Peterson - why did we get Kevin Jones? He wasn't that good in Detroit, and our AP fights harder for yards.
13. Greg Olsen - I had such high hopes here, but is he just another Jeremy Shockey? (The Giants won the superbowl with Shockey on the sidelines.)
I think that's it. So, where do we go from here?
New coaches - I say we put the full-court press on a Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer. The premier name would hopefully garner some control and create a more solid, long-term success. Let them bring in coordinators of their choosing. Lovie seems to have lost this team, and I do not want to sit through more attrition, just waiting for contracts to end.
New receivers - in the short term, I have given up on our current group. Lloyd looked like he could break out early in the year, but he has a glass jaw, apparently. Forte is the only sure thing receiver (maybe Des Clark) and that is just sad.
New QB - I don't care if we keep Orton, but maybe the McNabb era can get started. I don't think he's done winning, and there's a shortage in the league. Let McNabb and Orton battle it out in the pre-season.
Defense - I would hope that good recruiting would injury-proof some of these positions and a new coordinator would light a fire under the current starters. Make Urlacher work a little.
That's a lot to do in a year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)