PLAYOFFS!!!
It's that time of the year. And since the Bears and Skins were kind enough to piss away their seasons into oblivion, I can go into the postseason with a clear and impartial mind. Thanks guys; you fucking suck it.
Here's my thoughts on the Super Bowl this year: I (like most everyone else in the nation) want to see a Pennsylvania Super Bowl throw-down between the Eagles and Steelers - It's possible, but unlikely.
We'll probably get a Titans -vs- Panthers snooze-fest with all of the nail-biting excitement of a trip to the bank.
My prediction is that the big game will be the Ravens over the Panthers, but really have nothing (other than pure conjecture) to back it up.
The one thing that I can guarantee: After this week, there will be all of zero teams left in the playoffs from west of the Mississippi river. Bank on it .
Last Week's Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 162/93/1
Saturday Afternoon Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Falcons (11-5) over Cardinals (9-7)
The NFC South divisional record is 40-24. The NFC West divisional record is 22-42.
The Cardinals don't even belong in the playoffs, and are heading toward one of the biggest embarrassments in the long sucky history of the oldest team in the NFL (1898). The classy thing would be to forfeit at the coin-flip and save Arizona the indignity.
Postgame: The Cards fucking won?!?! I give up.
Saturday Night Game (8 PM Eastern):
Colts (12-4) over Chargers (8-8)
The AFC South divisional record is 38-26. The AFC West divisional record is 23-41.
Yeah, the stats are almost as bad as the aforementioned match, but the Bolts have a good record at matching up against Indy. If any of you have ever watched a zombie flick, you know how dangerous the risen-from-the-dead-Chargers are right now, but I see the Colts standing tough with a sawed-off street-sweeper ready to send them back to their AFC West grave.
Postgame: A Chargers -vs- Cards Super Bowl doesn't seem so ridiculous right now. Christ help us all.
Early Sunday Game (1 PM Eastern):
Ravens (11-5) over Dolphins (11-5)
I am jazzed-up for this one. It's going to be such a good game that I might just forget how much I hate both of these teams for 4 quarters of play. This one's gonna be a down & dirty smack-down for the ages, and it's anyone's game.
Yeah, I just said that I think that the Ravens will win the Superbowl, but it wouldn't surprise me one bit if they got knocked-out in the first round. They are going to have the hardest road of ANY team in the playoffs. If they can make it all the way, they'll be impossible to stop.
Postgame: Even the one I got right, I got wrong. Of all the games so far, this is the only one that wasn't even close. The two that I thought were gonna be blow-outs were barn-burners and the game I thought was gonna go down to the line was over by half-time. Go figure.
Late Sunday Game (4:30 PM Eastern):
Eagles (9-6-1) over Vikings (10-6)
Yup, I Google mapped it, and the Metrodome is a whole 4 blocks south-west of the Mississippi.
They're out.
At least I could find the stadium, unlike the Vikings fans. It looks like this HOME GAME IS GOING TO BE BLACKED-OUT in the Minneapolis market due to poor ticket sales. Are you fucking kidding me? Just go away, Vikings, and leave us football fans alone.
Postgame: Thanx, Minnesota. Your unparalleled ability to fail saved me from getting totally schooled in my first-round playoff picks.
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Wrong picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
4 comments:
I think the Dolphins might pull it out, and I'm really hoping the Eagles put a whooping on the Vikings like they did to the Cowboys. That said, I'd take Jared Allen in the off season...
i was in arizona over christmas and that game hadn't sold out either yet.
seriously, what. the. fuck.
Nobody likes the Vikings outside of Minneapolis, and Arizona is in the middle of a desert.
Ravens just might take it all.
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