It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting ready for my annual "Fairytale of New York" bar crawl. Before my booze-fueled wassailing adventure commences, I really should post up some picks before I get locked in the drunk tank for the weekend.
Here we go:
Last Week's Picks: 9/7
Season Record: 147/77
Friday Night Game:
Chargers (11-3) over Titans* (7-7)
I had the Titans winning this one, and then just spent the last 10 minutes trying to type out an explanation that didn't sound completely retarded. I failed, and then promptly changed my pick.
Early Sunday Games:
Falcons* (7-7) over Bills (5-9)
Both of these teams are done for the season. I'm not going to waste any more time here.
Bengals* (9-5) over Chiefs (3-11)
The Bengals have to win just one more to lock down a playoff berth. Here it is.
Raiders (5-9) over Browns* (3-11)
Both of these terrible teams have been looking pretty damned good lately. Trippy.
Packers* (9-5) over Seahawks (5-9)
The Packers need one more win (or a Giants loss) to secure a wild-card spot. Go Seattle!
Dolphins* (7-7) over Texans (7-7)
Hey everybody, It's the Mediocrity Bowl!
Patriots* (9-5) over Jaguars (7-7)
The Pats have been shaky this season, but not at home.
Saints* (13-1) over Buccaneers (2-12)
Well, the Saints got their loss outta the way last week. Conversely, the Buccaneers got their win outta the way last week.
Giants* (8-6) over Panthers (6-8)
The G-Men need to win to stay in.
Postgame: OUT!
Ravens (8-6) over Steelers* (7-7)
Apparently I'm the only one who thinks that the Steelers are gonna lose here. No matter how bad Pittsburgh wants to win, Baltimore wants them to lose twice as much.
Late Sunday Games:
Cardinals* (9-5) over Rams (1-13)
The Cards are in the playoffs again this year.... hoo-fucking-ray.
49ers* (6-8) over Lions (2-12)
Yeah, My prediction of the Niners winning the NFC West isn't looking so hot right now.
Colts* (14-0) over Jets* (7-7)
Now that the Saints are out, I'm pulling for the Colts to stay undefeated and win the Super Bowl just so the '72 Dolphins can finally shut the fuck up.
Postgame: Dear Indy, You're dead to me - I hope you soulless fucks have fun losing in the AFC divisional round. That was the most pathetic surrender of a game in the history of sport, and I sincerely I hope you never win another game until your franchise gets shipped out to LA.
Broncos (8-6) over Eagles* (10-4)
I still believe, but it's taking more and more booze each week to do so.
Cowboys (9-5) over Redskins* (4-10)
Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know I said last week that I was gonna pick the Skins here, but this pick is already sandwiched by two even stupider picks.
Monday Night Game:
Bears* (5-9) over Vikings (11-3)
I'm not sure if it's the Christmas spirit, or the distilled spirits I've been sipping throughout the typing out of this post, but I'm predicting a holiday miracle right here. Don't ask me why - I'm far too buzzed to type out an explanation.
Postgame: I fucking told you so!
I'm like Scatman Crothers up in this shit.
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Wrong Picks in RED
Correct Picks in GREEN
*Indicates Home Team
2 comments:
dude, going down your games.. i was like "wow, same as mine, wow, same as mine, wow, same as mine!"
then i got to the monday nighter and I think someone put a roofie in your drink bro lol
That or Jay Cutler decided to throw you an interception because with 2 picks and 2 fumbles the last time these teams met.. (as well as four sacks).. Cutler is doomed (and belongs in the UFL)
Feel free to check out my picks @
http://www.lionsdenu.com/category/sports/nfl-guide-2009-2010/
best of luck this week and merry christmas!!!
Regards,
TheCoach
Well, Cutler is far from doomed, and only the Liar and MIKE DITKA went with the Bears. Nice work!
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