The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks

This is when things get interesting.  This week would be nearly perfect if I didn't have my bowling league at the exact same time as the Bears -vs- Vikings game.  I guess you can't win 'em all.  Enough bitching, here are some picks:

Last Week's Picks: 10/6
Season Record: 126/82

Thursday Night Game:
Chargers* (7-6) over 49ers (5-8)
I had picked the Niners to win the NFC West this year. Now at 5&8 they're... still in it?!?! Are you fucking serious?! If Samurai Mike's turd-squad can off the hated Chargers for me I promise to take back all of the horribly offensive things I've said about them (and their mothers) this season.

Early Sunday Games:
Cowboys* (4-9) over Redskins (5-8)
ChrisB called this one: Skins, Let me get this straight, your KICKER botches TWO extra point attempts, you lose the game by ONE point, so you bench.... the QUARTERBACK?!?!? FUCK YOU! The starting of Rex Grossman this week confirms my long-held belief that Shanahan is a clueless hack. This move pisses me off almost as much as when he benched Plummer for Cutler back in '06.

Saints (10-3) over Ravens* (9-4)

Okay, gotta settle down. I want to pick the Ravens at home, but I have a feeling that I'm overestimating Baltimore. The Saints know that if they want to repeat, they best win the division and stay the fuck outta Atlanta in the playoffs. New Orleans needs to win-out for that to happen.

Cardinals (4-9) over Panthers* (1-12)

This week is filled with great games. This isn't one of them. I'm not wasting my time with this draft-jockeying.

Browns (5-8) over Bengals* (2-11)

This isn't a great game either, but at least it's interesting. The Bengals looked golden at the start of the season, and have fallen apart past the point of redemption. The Browns looked destitute at the start, but have really shown some promise this season. Truly a tale of two (terrible) towns.

Colts* (7-6) over Jaguars (8-5)

Everything tells me to pick Jacksonville here, but I'm not betting against Indy (no matter how bad they've looked recently) in a knock-out game.

Dolphins* (7-6) over Bills (3-10)

I like the Bills, but the Fish have been playing with some spunk lately. At this point, they can even win at home.

Buccaneers* (8-5) over Lions (3-10)

I love me some Lions! I'm so fucking happy that they killed the Pack last week and knocked out Not-Favre for this week that I'm tempted to pick 'em here out of deference.

Eagles (9-4) over Giants* (9-4)

The winner here (discounting any catastrophe) takes the division. The loser is left to struggle for a wild-card spot. The way Philly has been playing lately, it looks like it's their game to win (or lose).

Chiefs (8-5) over Rams* (6-7)

Who could have guessed when this game was announced in April that it would have playoff consequences for either team. Pretty impressive considering that these two teams won a combined 5 games last year. Despite Cassel's questionable status, I'm picking the Chiefs out of my hatred of the Chargers (and not as any slight to the Rams).

Texans (5-8) over Titans* (5-8)

Right now I'm glad that I have zero affinity toward either of these teams. What an embarrassment these two teams turned out to be this year.

Late Sunday Games:
Falcons (11-2) over Seahawks* (6-7)
The Shawks play tough at home, but the Falcons very well could be the best NFC team right now.

Raiders* (6-7) over Broncos (3-10)

Denver, you broke my heart - You're dead to me. The Raiders only stole my wallet.

Steelers* (10-3) over Jets (9-4)

I'm kinda pulling for the Jets in this one so that they're not crazy-desperate coming into Soldier Field next week.

Sunday Night Game:
Patriots* (11-2) over Packers (8-5)
Bye bye, Packers! Your season ends right here. --flush, swirl, gone--

Monday Night Game:
Bears (9-4) over Vikings** (5-8)
Last week Favre ended his 297 game starting streak, and the Vikings QB of the future, Tarvaris Jackson , lasted not even 297 minutes before landing on the disabled list. Bwwwahahahahaha! I'm not sure if rookie Joe Webb and Patrick Ramsey (the former Skins QB) will make it through this one for Minnesota. The Vikings are dead, long live the Bears!
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team
**Indicates game being played in the Triple Rock Social Club parking lot, or equally inauspicious venue