Friday, December 31, 2010

The Liar's NFL Week 17 Picks

It's the final week of the NFL regular season. It's been a good run. This week it seems that there are equal measure of must-watch games to disposable games (which is a far greater ratio than any other given week). Should be interesting all day long. Couch, prepare to be assed.

Last Week's Picks: 8/8
Season Record: 143/97

Early Sunday Games:
Patriots* (13-2) over Dolphins (7-8)

The Patriots don't even need to show up for this one, but the Pats always play hard going into the post-season.

Saints* (11-4) over Buccaneers (9-6)
Remember when the Bucs were 9&2 and I said they'd miss the playoffs? Well I did.

Falcons* (12-3) over Panthers (2-13)
Oh, dear lord. I'd wager that the Falcons' 3rd stringers are better than the Panthers' 1st stringers.

Lions* (5-10) over Vikings (6-9)
The last three weeks I've told you how Detroit was going to pull the upset and then picked against 'em. Old habits die hard. I'm making it up to Motown this week.

Chiefs (10-5) over Raiders* (7-8)
Yay, Chiefs! Congratulations.

Jets* (10-5) over Bills (4-11)
The Jets don't need to win to advance, but if they don't win here they'll be going into the postseason having lost 4 of their last 5 games.

Ravens* (11-4) over Bengals (4-11)
The Bungles gave the Chargers the dirty shocker last week (thanks for that). I don't see lightning striking twice in consecutive weeks.

Steelers (11-4) over Browns* (5-10)
Steelers are playing for the bye here. They win, they get next week off. Then again, it seems that they do better in the playoffs when they don't get the bye.

Late Sunday Games:
Bears (11-4) over Packers* (9-6)

The Bears have the bye nailed down, but they NEED to win this fucker. Bears nation is going to go apoplectic if they don't knock the hated Pack out of the playoff picture. Granted, we match up better with the Packers than the Giants (who will advance if the Pack loses), but it goes against all Beardom to give ANYTHING to our nemeses to the North. Let's cut this turd lose, Chicago.

Jaguars (8-7) over Texans* (5-10)
The Jags are still looking from the outside at the postseason. I say they win here and pray for the Colts to flounder.

Cowboys (5-10) over Eagles* (10-5)
The Beagles are set in the playoff picture. I say they rest their injured stars and get ready for next week. The Boys are going to play this one hard as a statement game.

Giants (9-6) over Redskins* (6-9)
Hold up... Okay, even if the Bears beat the Pack, Green Bay can get in with a Skins win here and a Bucs loss in New Orleans. It's not as much of a long-shot as you think.

Broncos* (4-11) over Chargers (8-7)
The Chargers are dead, and (since they're a bunch of little sissy-bitches) they never play when there's nothing on the line. Say what you will about the Broncos, but they always seem to give it their all (and come up way short).

49ers* (5-10) over Cardinals (5-10)
Welcome to the Osco Brand® Suppository Bowl!

Colts* (9-6) over Titans (6-9)
The Colts still either need a win or a Jags loss to advance. The Jags/Texans game is being played simultaneous to this one, so the Colts can't roll over like they have in the final games of the past few years.

Sunday Night Games:
Rams (7-8) over Seahawks* (6-9)

Fucking NFC West. I'm secretly hoping that the Shawks win this one (which is not unlikely), so I can point out to every Packers fan that their team is out while a sub-.500 team is in. "No really, the Seahawks are far superior to your Pack. Oh really? Then when are the Packers playing their playoff game this month? Thought so. You suck."
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Wrong Picks in pantone #cc0000
Correct Picks in pantone #38761d
*Indicates Home Team

2 comments:

Chris B. said...

Maybe Hester is a #1 receiver. He alligators like Randy Moss - for the loss. (Why jump that high and NOT extend your arms at the end of the game?) If he's concerned about getting hit when he could tie a game, he needs to come off the receiving squad. Even if he couldn't reach the ball, trying for it might make it more difficult for the defender to see it.

Don't even get me started on that fucking time out that wiped out a first down when we had a nice head of steam rolling.

DC Liar said...

Agree 100%