Did y'all catch the backhanded compliments coming from those dumbass '72 Dolphins? "I know how hard it is to complete an undefeated season, so let me be the first to say...
" SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
As much as I can't stand Tom Brady (and his stupid chiseled good looks) and the video-tape-cheatin'-muthafucka Patriots, I much more hate the sorry-ass glory-days-extending Dolphins from the early 70's.
All the Pats need to do is win 1 more, and you no longer know how hard it is to win that many games in a season. Choke on your fucking Champagne, douchebags.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
The Liar's NFL Week 17 Picks
This is it. It's the last week of regular-season professional tackle football. After Sunday, we have 4 more weeks of playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?), then it's a long seven months of trying to care about Hockey and Cubbies heartbreak before the 2008 preseason takes off.
I've finally reached my goal of ending up at .666% or better (see below). I'm Friggin' amazed. Unless I get handled this week with my picks, the outlook looks good for holdin' on to it.
Last Weeks Picks: 12/4
Season Record: 160/80
Saturday Night Game:
Patriots (15-0) over Giants (10-5)
Everybody, look under your seats... It's a free football game for you; and you; and you; and you... Free football game for everyone!!!
The NFL Network caved and allowed this game to be simulcast on NBC and CBS. Now everyone can see first-hand how friggin' terrible Bryant Gumbel is in the booth.
Postgame: Hey '72 Dolphins; now you can shut the fuck up, you twats. Up your ass, Csonka.
Sunday Early Games:
Seahawks (10-5) over Falcons (3-12)
The Falcons story would be tragic if they didn't totally deserve it, so this season plays more like a comedy.
Seattle doesn't have anything to play for in this one, and should rest-up for the wildcard round next week. If they were playing anyone other than Atlanta I'd call this one a loss, but the Falcons stink on ice right now.
Bears (6-9) over Saints (7-8)
A loss probably does Chicago more good in this situation, but the Bears feel a slight sting - That's pride fucking with 'em. It would feel too good to knock out the Saints 2 years in a row and keep from landing alone at the bottom of the NFC North (with a Lions loss).
Browns (9-6) over 49ers (5-10)
Neither of these teams is playing for anything. Cleveland is gonna be watching the Colts/Titans game later with much more interest. If the Titans lose, the Browns are in - If the Titans win, the Browns are off until August.
Packers (12-3) over Lions (7-8)
If the Pack had won last week, I'd have picked the Lions to walk away with a garbage win to bump 'em up to .500, but after the spanking Green Bay took at Soldier Field last week, they're gonna need a win to boost morale before their bye week.
Bengals (6-9) over Dolphins (1-14)
Thhhppptttt!!!
I'm tempted to pick the Fish in this showdown of the gayest team uniforms. The Tuna is on the prowl and all the little fishies are swimming for their lives. Cincinnati has just enough talent to win this (that's not a lot of talent, mind you, just enough).
Bills (7-8) over Eagles (7-8)
Toss a coin for this one. I'm just picking the Bills 'cause I like 'em. Probably not the best methodology for determining the superior team, but I'm goin' with it.
Buccaneers (9-6) over Panthers (6-9)
Does anybody care about this game? It's another meaningless playoff team -vs- a not a playoff team game. The Bucs are gonna be resting, but should have enough gas in the reserve tank to pull out a win... I think.
Jaguars (11-4) over Texans (7-8)
This one's gonna be close. The Jags are in sleep mode, but I can't see Del Rio giving a division rival a win before heading off to the postseason.
Sunday Late Games:
Broncos (6-9) over Vikings (8-7)
I really should be picking Minnesota, but after last week's embarrassing loss to the Skins at home I don't see 'em getting their shit together for the trip to Denver (outside in the snow).
Chargers (10-5) over Raiders (4-11)
I just feel sorry for TomO.
Jets (3-12) over Chiefs (4-11)
I f'ing hate Herm Edwards. This game would have been infinitely more sweet if it were last year at this time when the Big Apple Planes were playoff bound, and the Chiefs were a punchline. Now they're both jokes.
Cardinals (7-8) over Rams (3-12)
And the award for least watchable game of the week goes to... This one. Arizona is running the risk of this one stinkin' up their stadium so bad that the Super Bowl may have to be relocated this year due to ecological concerns.
Steelers (10-5) over Ravens (4-11)
The Ravens?!?! You guys are still here? I though that you guys went away after week 15.
The Baltimore thugs are pissed at Pittsburgh for "disrespectin" 'em back in week 9. It's like watching a retarded street dog picking a fight with a dumpster. It would be sad, but you kinda want to see how long it takes for the pathetic creature to figure out that it's a losing effort. Plus, you want to see blood and failure.
Redskins (8-7) over Cowboys (13-2)
Please, please, please, please?!?
The Skins have crazy momentum going into this one, they're playing on a load of emotion, and (most importantly) Dallas is resting a load of their starters now that they have a lock on the #1 seed.
I see the Redskins heading out to Seattle next weekend.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (13-2) over Titans (9-6)
The Titans are fighting for a playoff spot here, whereas the Colts are locked in at the #2 seed. I just don't think that the Colts want to go into the Playoffs with a loss - They learned that lesson a couple of years back. They have a bye, so I'm thinking that they'll play for the win and use the extra week to mend.
---
Correct picks in GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
I've finally reached my goal of ending up at .666% or better (see below). I'm Friggin' amazed. Unless I get handled this week with my picks, the outlook looks good for holdin' on to it.
Last Weeks Picks: 12/4
Season Record: 160/80
Saturday Night Game:
Patriots (15-0) over Giants (10-5)
Everybody, look under your seats... It's a free football game for you; and you; and you; and you... Free football game for everyone!!!
The NFL Network caved and allowed this game to be simulcast on NBC and CBS. Now everyone can see first-hand how friggin' terrible Bryant Gumbel is in the booth.
Postgame: Hey '72 Dolphins; now you can shut the fuck up, you twats. Up your ass, Csonka.
Sunday Early Games:
Seahawks (10-5) over Falcons (3-12)
The Falcons story would be tragic if they didn't totally deserve it, so this season plays more like a comedy.
Seattle doesn't have anything to play for in this one, and should rest-up for the wildcard round next week. If they were playing anyone other than Atlanta I'd call this one a loss, but the Falcons stink on ice right now.
Bears (6-9) over Saints (7-8)
A loss probably does Chicago more good in this situation, but the Bears feel a slight sting - That's pride fucking with 'em. It would feel too good to knock out the Saints 2 years in a row and keep from landing alone at the bottom of the NFC North (with a Lions loss).
Browns (9-6) over 49ers (5-10)
Neither of these teams is playing for anything. Cleveland is gonna be watching the Colts/Titans game later with much more interest. If the Titans lose, the Browns are in - If the Titans win, the Browns are off until August.
Packers (12-3) over Lions (7-8)
If the Pack had won last week, I'd have picked the Lions to walk away with a garbage win to bump 'em up to .500, but after the spanking Green Bay took at Soldier Field last week, they're gonna need a win to boost morale before their bye week.
Bengals (6-9) over Dolphins (1-14)
Thhhppptttt!!!
I'm tempted to pick the Fish in this showdown of the gayest team uniforms. The Tuna is on the prowl and all the little fishies are swimming for their lives. Cincinnati has just enough talent to win this (that's not a lot of talent, mind you, just enough).
Bills (7-8) over Eagles (7-8)
Toss a coin for this one. I'm just picking the Bills 'cause I like 'em. Probably not the best methodology for determining the superior team, but I'm goin' with it.
Buccaneers (9-6) over Panthers (6-9)
Does anybody care about this game? It's another meaningless playoff team -vs- a not a playoff team game. The Bucs are gonna be resting, but should have enough gas in the reserve tank to pull out a win... I think.
Jaguars (11-4) over Texans (7-8)
This one's gonna be close. The Jags are in sleep mode, but I can't see Del Rio giving a division rival a win before heading off to the postseason.
Sunday Late Games:
Broncos (6-9) over Vikings (8-7)
I really should be picking Minnesota, but after last week's embarrassing loss to the Skins at home I don't see 'em getting their shit together for the trip to Denver (outside in the snow).
Chargers (10-5) over Raiders (4-11)
I just feel sorry for TomO.
Jets (3-12) over Chiefs (4-11)
I f'ing hate Herm Edwards. This game would have been infinitely more sweet if it were last year at this time when the Big Apple Planes were playoff bound, and the Chiefs were a punchline. Now they're both jokes.
Cardinals (7-8) over Rams (3-12)
And the award for least watchable game of the week goes to... This one. Arizona is running the risk of this one stinkin' up their stadium so bad that the Super Bowl may have to be relocated this year due to ecological concerns.
Steelers (10-5) over Ravens (4-11)
The Ravens?!?! You guys are still here? I though that you guys went away after week 15.
The Baltimore thugs are pissed at Pittsburgh for "disrespectin" 'em back in week 9. It's like watching a retarded street dog picking a fight with a dumpster. It would be sad, but you kinda want to see how long it takes for the pathetic creature to figure out that it's a losing effort. Plus, you want to see blood and failure.
Redskins (8-7) over Cowboys (13-2)
Please, please, please, please?!?
The Skins have crazy momentum going into this one, they're playing on a load of emotion, and (most importantly) Dallas is resting a load of their starters now that they have a lock on the #1 seed.
I see the Redskins heading out to Seattle next weekend.
Sunday Night Game:
Colts (13-2) over Titans (9-6)
The Titans are fighting for a playoff spot here, whereas the Colts are locked in at the #2 seed. I just don't think that the Colts want to go into the Playoffs with a loss - They learned that lesson a couple of years back. They have a bye, so I'm thinking that they'll play for the win and use the extra week to mend.
---
Correct picks in GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A Christmas Tradition
Hearing that Bulls’ head coach Scott Skiles was fired on Christmas Eve took me back to Christmases of yore…
There’s an image by the way…Krause “scouting” the talent in
That level of suck-assedness was all in the past, or so I thought.
…for the good of the team.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The Liar's NFL Week 16 Picks
Hey, I'm tied for first with Schlereth from the NFL Experts for most correct picks (Jaws is whomping both of us in percentage since he doesn't pick Monday night games).
Not freakin' bad. Hooray me!
Every time I start bragging about my prognosticating abilities, I totally flame-out the next week. I really have to stop doing that.
Last Weeks Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 148/76
Thursday Night Game:
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-5) over Rams (3-11)
The Steelers have something to prove this week after getting spanked by a Florida team in a hometown snowstorm (I totally called that). Now they have to sharpen their teeth on the Horned Sheep in order to preserve their lead over Cleveland in the AFC North.
Saturday Night Game:
Cowboys (12-2) over Panthers (6-8)
Unless Jessica starts making out with the Carolina bench, Romo should have his head (and thumb) back in the game this week.
The Panthers are looking better as this season wraps up, but Dallas is light-years beyond them.
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (7-7) over Giants (9-5)
The Williams have had a killer season this year, and are much better than their record suggests. The Giants are in the midst of a tail-spin and are much worse than their record suggests. Unless Eli catches fire (and Plexico starts catching passes), the Gnats are doomed.
Postgame: You're killing me, Buffalo. That 4th quarter was freakin' atrocious. Now the Skins have this route to the playoffs shut down.
Bears (5-9) over Packers (12-2)
Lovie has to get back to his first year pledge in order to "salvage" this season. Two wins against the Pack would ease the pain a bit (and save a few jobs). I'm not sure that the Bears have what it takes to get this done, but I'm hoping like hell.
Postgame: THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. BEARS!!!
Browns (9-5) over Bengals (5-9)
I love me some Cleveland Browns this year. Everybody enjoy this story now before Disney ruins it by optioning the rights for some schmaltzy feel-good flick.
In related news, Vivid is interested in optioning the story of the Bengals under the title of "Ex-Con Suck-A-Thon".
Lions (6-8) over Chiefs (4-10)
I'm throwing Detroit a bone here. They've gone back to losing (thank gawd), and now I feel like I owe 'em something after wishing for their downfall all season. They might be bad, but they're not "Kansas City bad".
Colts (12-2) over Texans (7-7)
Indy has a 1st round bye nailed down, and might not be playing all-out this week. The Texans are back on track, and a win here would make a huge statement. This should be a fairly close game, but the Colts should be able to pull off a 'W' in a squeaker.
Saints (7-7) over Eagles (6-8)
I'm really hoping that the Beagles can pull off the upset in this one. A Philly win would really help out the Skins in their playoff hunt. That being said, the Eagles are downright bi-polar this season. I have no fucking idea which Eagles team is gonna show up this week. New Orleans has much more to play for in this game, so I'm going with the Saints at home.
Postgame: Thank you Philly. Now, please have a talk with the Buffalo Bills.
Jaguars (10-4) over Raiders (4-10)
This one's gonna be ugly - Look away, Tom.
Sunday Late Games:
Cardinals (6-8) over Falcons (3-11)
Look at the crap they're trying to pass off as late games this week. I'm sorta thankful that Chicago has the Pats/Fins late game. That's how crappy the rest of 'em are.
Buccaneers (9-5) over 49ers (4-10)
I give up: What can I say about this game? Nothing; that's what.
Bucs are good - Niners suck. Well, Instead of trying to pull some random meaningless stats off of the web, here's a Wikipedia excerpt on the mating of hedgehogs:
The hedgehog's dilemma is based upon the apparent danger of a male hedgehog being poked while mating with a female hedgehog. It states that the closer two people are to each other, the more they may hurt one another. However, this is not an issue for hedgehogs as the male's penis is very near the center of its abdomen (often mistaken for a belly button) and the female has the ability to curl her tail upward to the point that her vulva protrudes behind the rest of her body. As such, the male doesn't have to get completely on top of the female when mating.
Titans (8-6) over Jets (3-11)
A few weeks ago I had a random epiphany and started to wonder why the PC crowd didn't ever try to change the name of the NY Jets after 9/11.
I'm thinking of starting a petition just to see what ridiculous names the free-tards come up with.
Patriots (14-0) over Dolphins (1-13)
Fucking Ravens. I was gonna get cute and pick the Fins this week to get their first win and give New England their first loss. Baltimore shit the bed last Sunday and robbed me of that awesomely bold pick.
All bets are off of the table now, and I'm going with the Pats. As for the Ravens...
Seahawks (9-5) over Ravens (4-10)
...Contract 'em. After last week, I'm starting a campaign to dismantle the Ravens orginization. It's time that Art Modell's Blackbirds go the fuck away. Just give the 1996-1998 stats and records to Cleveland along with the Super Bowl XXXV title, and forget that this shit ever happened.
If Baltimore wants another football franchise, they should sack Indianapolis under cover of darkness and take back the Colts by force. Then, if Indy wants another NFL franchise, they can just go fuck themselves. Everybody wins.
Sunday Night Game:
Redskins (7-7) over Vikings (8-6)
Here's the game of the week. This is gonna be HUGE.
If the cocksucking Bears coulda held on to their lead last Monday, these two teams would be tied going into this one. instead the Bears failed (yet again), and now my Skins have to battle extra-hard for a playoff spot. I have faith - Hail to the Redskins.
Postgame: Hoo-Ha! The Skins are poised for a playoff appearance with a win against the resting Cowboys next week (Bears came through this week and settled the NFC home-field contest), or by losses from the Saints and Vikes. It's looking pretty damn good for DC.
Monday Night Game:
Chargers (9-5) over Broncos (6-8)
San Diego already has a playoff berth - this should be a good scrimmage match for 'em.
---
Correct picks in GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
Not freakin' bad. Hooray me!
Every time I start bragging about my prognosticating abilities, I totally flame-out the next week. I really have to stop doing that.
Last Weeks Picks: 11/5
Season Record: 148/76
Thursday Night Game:
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-5) over Rams (3-11)
The Steelers have something to prove this week after getting spanked by a Florida team in a hometown snowstorm (I totally called that). Now they have to sharpen their teeth on the Horned Sheep in order to preserve their lead over Cleveland in the AFC North.
Saturday Night Game:
Cowboys (12-2) over Panthers (6-8)
Unless Jessica starts making out with the Carolina bench, Romo should have his head (and thumb) back in the game this week.
The Panthers are looking better as this season wraps up, but Dallas is light-years beyond them.
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (7-7) over Giants (9-5)
The Williams have had a killer season this year, and are much better than their record suggests. The Giants are in the midst of a tail-spin and are much worse than their record suggests. Unless Eli catches fire (and Plexico starts catching passes), the Gnats are doomed.
Postgame: You're killing me, Buffalo. That 4th quarter was freakin' atrocious. Now the Skins have this route to the playoffs shut down.
Bears (5-9) over Packers (12-2)
Lovie has to get back to his first year pledge in order to "salvage" this season. Two wins against the Pack would ease the pain a bit (and save a few jobs). I'm not sure that the Bears have what it takes to get this done, but I'm hoping like hell.
Postgame: THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. BEARS!!!
Browns (9-5) over Bengals (5-9)
I love me some Cleveland Browns this year. Everybody enjoy this story now before Disney ruins it by optioning the rights for some schmaltzy feel-good flick.
In related news, Vivid is interested in optioning the story of the Bengals under the title of "Ex-Con Suck-A-Thon".
Lions (6-8) over Chiefs (4-10)
I'm throwing Detroit a bone here. They've gone back to losing (thank gawd), and now I feel like I owe 'em something after wishing for their downfall all season. They might be bad, but they're not "Kansas City bad".
Colts (12-2) over Texans (7-7)
Indy has a 1st round bye nailed down, and might not be playing all-out this week. The Texans are back on track, and a win here would make a huge statement. This should be a fairly close game, but the Colts should be able to pull off a 'W' in a squeaker.
Saints (7-7) over Eagles (6-8)
I'm really hoping that the Beagles can pull off the upset in this one. A Philly win would really help out the Skins in their playoff hunt. That being said, the Eagles are downright bi-polar this season. I have no fucking idea which Eagles team is gonna show up this week. New Orleans has much more to play for in this game, so I'm going with the Saints at home.
Postgame: Thank you Philly. Now, please have a talk with the Buffalo Bills.
Jaguars (10-4) over Raiders (4-10)
This one's gonna be ugly - Look away, Tom.
Sunday Late Games:
Cardinals (6-8) over Falcons (3-11)
Look at the crap they're trying to pass off as late games this week. I'm sorta thankful that Chicago has the Pats/Fins late game. That's how crappy the rest of 'em are.
Buccaneers (9-5) over 49ers (4-10)
I give up: What can I say about this game? Nothing; that's what.
Bucs are good - Niners suck. Well, Instead of trying to pull some random meaningless stats off of the web, here's a Wikipedia excerpt on the mating of hedgehogs:
The hedgehog's dilemma is based upon the apparent danger of a male hedgehog being poked while mating with a female hedgehog. It states that the closer two people are to each other, the more they may hurt one another. However, this is not an issue for hedgehogs as the male's penis is very near the center of its abdomen (often mistaken for a belly button) and the female has the ability to curl her tail upward to the point that her vulva protrudes behind the rest of her body. As such, the male doesn't have to get completely on top of the female when mating.
Titans (8-6) over Jets (3-11)
A few weeks ago I had a random epiphany and started to wonder why the PC crowd didn't ever try to change the name of the NY Jets after 9/11.
I'm thinking of starting a petition just to see what ridiculous names the free-tards come up with.
Patriots (14-0) over Dolphins (1-13)
Fucking Ravens. I was gonna get cute and pick the Fins this week to get their first win and give New England their first loss. Baltimore shit the bed last Sunday and robbed me of that awesomely bold pick.
All bets are off of the table now, and I'm going with the Pats. As for the Ravens...
Seahawks (9-5) over Ravens (4-10)
...Contract 'em. After last week, I'm starting a campaign to dismantle the Ravens orginization. It's time that Art Modell's Blackbirds go the fuck away. Just give the 1996-1998 stats and records to Cleveland along with the Super Bowl XXXV title, and forget that this shit ever happened.
If Baltimore wants another football franchise, they should sack Indianapolis under cover of darkness and take back the Colts by force. Then, if Indy wants another NFL franchise, they can just go fuck themselves. Everybody wins.
Sunday Night Game:
Redskins (7-7) over Vikings (8-6)
Here's the game of the week. This is gonna be HUGE.
If the cocksucking Bears coulda held on to their lead last Monday, these two teams would be tied going into this one. instead the Bears failed (yet again), and now my Skins have to battle extra-hard for a playoff spot. I have faith - Hail to the Redskins.
Postgame: Hoo-Ha! The Skins are poised for a playoff appearance with a win against the resting Cowboys next week (Bears came through this week and settled the NFC home-field contest), or by losses from the Saints and Vikes. It's looking pretty damn good for DC.
Monday Night Game:
Chargers (9-5) over Broncos (6-8)
San Diego already has a playoff berth - this should be a good scrimmage match for 'em.
---
Correct picks in GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Trend
The trend continues for Superbowl losers becoming loser-losers the following season. The Bears were officially eliminated last night and I for one, say YUCK!
Urlacher played a great game and my son & I enjoyed watching the one playmaker on the Bears...arthritic back notwithstanding...make some big plays.
That was the bright spot last night.
I take that back. My favorite part of last night was when Fred "the Usher" Miller finally realized he could no longer play his position and just starts punching guys.
Well done Fred.
Urlacher played a great game and my son & I enjoyed watching the one playmaker on the Bears...arthritic back notwithstanding...make some big plays.
That was the bright spot last night.
I take that back. My favorite part of last night was when Fred "the Usher" Miller finally realized he could no longer play his position and just starts punching guys.
Well done Fred.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Hubris?
Anthony Irwin Kornheiser can blow it out his kornheiserhole. He blamed the Bears' woes on hubris...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Liar's NFL Week 15 Picks
Hey, we get an extra night of professional tackle-football starting this week.
Actually, both the Thursday and Saturday games are on NFL Network, and 2/3rds of all American households don't even have that station on their cable package. So, I guess that a more accurate way of phrasing it would be: "I'm getting an extra night of football this week". I just wish it was better football than these two stinkers. It's kinda hard to lord over anyone when the teams involved are all below .500.
Fuck it, I'm out...
Okay, It's gonna take the bizarro DC Liar, Baltimore Truthteller, to make these two turd-packed games interesting. Here he goes:
Last Weeks Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 137/71
Thursday Night Game:
Broncos (6-7) over Texans (6-7)
Baltimore Truthteller: I am greatly looking forward to this compelling matchup. Both squadrons am 7+6. Both am very, very good. This am game of the week.
Postgame: Jake Plummer for Jay Cutler? Fucking brilliant!
Enjoy your offseason Shanahan, you fucking retard - It starts right now.
Saturday Night Game:
Bengals (5-8) over 49ers (3-10)
Baltimore Truthteller: 49ers am the best-ever 2007 team [except for Dolphins]. They are dominate the very good Cincinnati team. It be so good game, it silly.
---
Fuck that guy, I'm back. If Bizarro me picks two losers, does that mean that I get to count those as wins? No? Dammit.
Busy moving. Not time to chat.
Here are my Sunday Picks:
Early Sunday Games:
Browns (8-5) over Bills (7-6)
I'm digging both of these teams this year. Sadly, it looks like only one is gonna make the postseason - I'm betting on the Browns.
Titans (7-6) over Chiefs (4-9)
Don't get me wrong, The Titans could easily choke (yet again), but they don't seem to lose whenever Haynesworth is active - Go figure.
Packers (11-2) over Rams (3-10)
I've got this game on the DC affiliate (if I'm not driving through Ohio), but that doesn't matter. If I'm not on the road, I'm watching:
Ravens (4-9) over Dolphins (0-13)
I'm really psyched that we have this game this week. Cleo Lemon is back at the helm for the Fish, and this week they have the best shot at winning a game this season.
Don't let me down Miami, buckle down and lose this one. You have to remain beaten. That would make this shitty NFL season worthwhile. Please?
Postgame: Hey Baltimore: FUCK YOU!!! I hope you all choke to death on dicks.
Patriots (13-0) over Jets (3-10)
GRUDGE MATCH!!!
This is gonna be nasty. The last time these teams met, Coach Mangina busted out Coach Sweatshirt for totally tapin' his sideline doodz.
All your signals are belong to us!
Some ESPN analyst (I forget who) suggested that Belichick list his punter as inactive for this game.
We're not punting, bitches - Try and stop us.
That would be wicked-awesome.
Saints (6-7) over Cardinals (6-7)
The Lions have gone back to sucking, but the Cards keep threatening to be half-way decent this season. That worries me deeply. I'm hoping like hell that the Saints can pull out a win here and ease my soul.
Jaguars (9-4) over Steelers (9-4)
I have absolutely no idea who's gonna win this one. Both teams are 9 & 4. Pittsburgh got humiliated last week, and has something to prove. Jacksonville is the best team in the NFL that nobody ever remembers, and winning this one would be a huge statement going into the postseason.
{flipping a coin}
Jags.
Buccaneers (8-5) over Falcons (3-10)
I'd feel bad for the Falcons if I didn't hate their fucking guts. I think it has something to do with the whole 'Dirty Bird' thing from '98.
Fuck those guys - I hope every last one of 'em ends up in jail (or, even worse, Arkansas).
Seahawks (9-4) over Panthers (5-8)
Every year I seem to forget that the Seahawks are good. I'm an idiot.
On another unrelated note; I caught Matt Hasselbeck on P.T.I. the other day - He's a really witty guy. Who knew?
Postgame: This is the kind of shit that keeps making me forget.
Late Sunday Games:
Colts (11-2) over Raiders (4-9)
The Colts are trying like hell to hold onto the #2 seed in the AFC. This game should help 'em.
Cowboys (12-1) over Eagles (5-8)
I've got this game. I'm gonna spend this time dreaming of EIU's Romo in a Bears jersey, and trying to decide if I want Chicago native, McNabb, in one next season.
Chargers (8-5) over Lions (6-7)
Say goodnight Detroit.
Sunday Night Game:
Washington Redskins (6-7) over Giants (9-4)
Crap! These last two I really want to pick with my heart over my brain. I'm gonna split the difference.
The Giants have a wild-card spot nailed down (more or less) right now - The Skins are fighting for their lives right now. I see DC pulling the upset.
Maybe.
Monday Night Game:
Vikings (7-6) over Bears (5-8)
The one thing that I want for Christmas is for Orton to come into this one and lead the Bears on a 3-game winning streak to end out this season. Oh, and a job - Two things.
I'm gonna be routing like hell for Chicago, but am going with the odds on the pick.
Postgame: Fuck.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct picks in GREEN
Actually, both the Thursday and Saturday games are on NFL Network, and 2/3rds of all American households don't even have that station on their cable package. So, I guess that a more accurate way of phrasing it would be: "I'm getting an extra night of football this week". I just wish it was better football than these two stinkers. It's kinda hard to lord over anyone when the teams involved are all below .500.
Fuck it, I'm out...
Okay, It's gonna take the bizarro DC Liar, Baltimore Truthteller, to make these two turd-packed games interesting. Here he goes:
Last Weeks Picks: 13/3
Season Record: 137/71
Thursday Night Game:
Broncos (6-7) over Texans (6-7)
Baltimore Truthteller: I am greatly looking forward to this compelling matchup. Both squadrons am 7+6. Both am very, very good. This am game of the week.
Postgame: Jake Plummer for Jay Cutler? Fucking brilliant!
Enjoy your offseason Shanahan, you fucking retard - It starts right now.
Saturday Night Game:
Bengals (5-8) over 49ers (3-10)
Baltimore Truthteller: 49ers am the best-ever 2007 team [except for Dolphins]. They are dominate the very good Cincinnati team. It be so good game, it silly.
---
Fuck that guy, I'm back. If Bizarro me picks two losers, does that mean that I get to count those as wins? No? Dammit.
Busy moving. Not time to chat.
Here are my Sunday Picks:
Early Sunday Games:
Browns (8-5) over Bills (7-6)
I'm digging both of these teams this year. Sadly, it looks like only one is gonna make the postseason - I'm betting on the Browns.
Titans (7-6) over Chiefs (4-9)
Don't get me wrong, The Titans could easily choke (yet again), but they don't seem to lose whenever Haynesworth is active - Go figure.
Packers (11-2) over Rams (3-10)
I've got this game on the DC affiliate (if I'm not driving through Ohio), but that doesn't matter. If I'm not on the road, I'm watching:
Ravens (4-9) over Dolphins (0-13)
I'm really psyched that we have this game this week. Cleo Lemon is back at the helm for the Fish, and this week they have the best shot at winning a game this season.
Don't let me down Miami, buckle down and lose this one. You have to remain beaten. That would make this shitty NFL season worthwhile. Please?
Postgame: Hey Baltimore: FUCK YOU!!! I hope you all choke to death on dicks.
Patriots (13-0) over Jets (3-10)
GRUDGE MATCH!!!
This is gonna be nasty. The last time these teams met, Coach Mangina busted out Coach Sweatshirt for totally tapin' his sideline doodz.
All your signals are belong to us!
Some ESPN analyst (I forget who) suggested that Belichick list his punter as inactive for this game.
We're not punting, bitches - Try and stop us.
That would be wicked-awesome.
Saints (6-7) over Cardinals (6-7)
The Lions have gone back to sucking, but the Cards keep threatening to be half-way decent this season. That worries me deeply. I'm hoping like hell that the Saints can pull out a win here and ease my soul.
Jaguars (9-4) over Steelers (9-4)
I have absolutely no idea who's gonna win this one. Both teams are 9 & 4. Pittsburgh got humiliated last week, and has something to prove. Jacksonville is the best team in the NFL that nobody ever remembers, and winning this one would be a huge statement going into the postseason.
{flipping a coin}
Jags.
Buccaneers (8-5) over Falcons (3-10)
I'd feel bad for the Falcons if I didn't hate their fucking guts. I think it has something to do with the whole 'Dirty Bird' thing from '98.
Fuck those guys - I hope every last one of 'em ends up in jail (or, even worse, Arkansas).
Seahawks (9-4) over Panthers (5-8)
Every year I seem to forget that the Seahawks are good. I'm an idiot.
On another unrelated note; I caught Matt Hasselbeck on P.T.I. the other day - He's a really witty guy. Who knew?
Postgame: This is the kind of shit that keeps making me forget.
Late Sunday Games:
Colts (11-2) over Raiders (4-9)
The Colts are trying like hell to hold onto the #2 seed in the AFC. This game should help 'em.
Cowboys (12-1) over Eagles (5-8)
I've got this game. I'm gonna spend this time dreaming of EIU's Romo in a Bears jersey, and trying to decide if I want Chicago native, McNabb, in one next season.
Chargers (8-5) over Lions (6-7)
Say goodnight Detroit.
Sunday Night Game:
Washington Redskins (6-7) over Giants (9-4)
Crap! These last two I really want to pick with my heart over my brain. I'm gonna split the difference.
The Giants have a wild-card spot nailed down (more or less) right now - The Skins are fighting for their lives right now. I see DC pulling the upset.
Maybe.
Monday Night Game:
Vikings (7-6) over Bears (5-8)
The one thing that I want for Christmas is for Orton to come into this one and lead the Bears on a 3-game winning streak to end out this season. Oh, and a job - Two things.
I'm gonna be routing like hell for Chicago, but am going with the odds on the pick.
Postgame: Fuck.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct picks in GREEN
Thursday, December 13, 2007
List of MLB Players Implicated
...by Killing for Sports
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Good Ol' Suk-n-Fuk
If the Saux can have a Dice-K, I say that it's time that my Cubbies get a Fuk-U.That's right, The Cubs just signed Kohsuke Fukudome to a 4 year $50 mil deal - God love 'em.
Special Price
THIS says it all.
Name:Rex Grossman
Team:Chicago Bears
Dimensions:4'2"W x 6'6"H
Price:$99.95 $39.95
I'm considering buying a six-pack for target practice.
Name:Rex Grossman
Team:Chicago Bears
Dimensions:4'2"W x 6'6"H
Price:$99.95 $39.95
I'm considering buying a six-pack for target practice.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
You Play to Win the War
Late Sunday night I popped in a copy of Madden ’06 for the old X-Box. I found an activeJets season saved to memory. There was one game left, the Superbowl. I thought well, it’s late Sunday I’m not really doing anything – I’ll play the Jets vs. the Packers in the Superbowl.
Just as in real life I won easily. That’s not news.
When this game came out Herman Edwards was still the coach of the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets! This was pre-Mangenius who, by the way, needs a new nickname considering the Jets record.
My vote is for Mandumbfuckingnarkass.
But Herm Edwards was the coach back then and thus coach in this version of the game.
So I win the Superbowl and the game goes into its end of the championship/end of the season fanfare. There is the ceremonial Gatorade dump and Herm is carried off by his players.
But in this series of graphics, Herm Edwards looked a lot like fucking Hitler!
The ‘stache was more compact than the legendary Wanstache, even Herm’s skin had a weird sort of Aryan thing happening…
Apparently the Jets needed living space and had to roll the Pack 78-6 to get it.
Just for the record, I didn’t program the damned thing so I am completely innocent of Madden-related war crimes.
Monday, December 10, 2007
The Orton Era
So it's official. Orton will start against Minnesota. Maybe it'll be a one-two punch of Orton/Wolfe. You can be sure the Viqueens haven't planned for that. So, what happens if Orton goes out with an injury? What a mess. Worse yet, what happens if he wins out the season?
What should happen at QB next season? Running Back? Safety? Offensive line? Which is the most pressing need?
What should happen at QB next season? Running Back? Safety? Offensive line? Which is the most pressing need?
Saturday, December 8, 2007
The Liar's NFL Week 14 Picks
I'm back in chaos mode. I'm tying up all of the lose ends here in DC, packing up the rest of my shit, and still finding time to head out to Fed Ex Field this week for the Skins -vs- Bears game. Woo-Hoo!
... I mean BOO!
That fucking game damn near turned me off of football (and grilled oysters).
Here's the rest of my picks.
Last week's picks: 11/5
Season record: 124/68
Thursday Night Game
Bears (5-7) over Redskins (5-7)
Who fucking knows how this game will go? If you're thinking of wagering on this one; you're insane - You'd be better off going down to the turtle races at Andy's Tap in D-Town and wagering the title to your car on turtle #13.
The Skins have had a really rough short week and are playing with a two-day practice week due to Taylor's funeral. They could be inspired, but after last week, I'm not seeing it. Then again, the Bears are finding a way to lose at every given opportunity. Who fucking knows?
I'm gonna be front & center at this train wreck. I'm picking Bears and routing for a Grossman career ending injury.
Postgame: Bluuuuuurrrrgggghhhhh!
This game was so blowful, that It needs its own post.
Early Sunday Games
Bills (6-6) over Dolphins (0-12)
Miami is starting to get desperate and making some crazy-ass plays so that they don't run the board in reverse. Miami QB, John Beck, might even get his first touchdown of the season in this one - Don't count on it. The Williams will triumph.
Rams (3-9) over Bengals (4-8)
The Bengals are reaching critical mass as a team. This is the game that will blow them apart.
Cowboys (11-1) over Lions (6-6)
Good news: It looks like the Lions aren't gonna make the postseason. Bad news: It looks like the Vikings will. Fucking NFC North.
Packers (10-2) over Raiders (4-8)
Brett is still hurt from last week, but should play. The Raiders are still hurt from January 26th, 2003, and really haven't played since.
Chargers (7-5) over Titans (7-5)
I'm not loving this pick. I think that the Titans at home have a damned good shot of up-ending the Bolts winning streak, and pulling off a win at home. The Titans really need this win, whereas San Diego has a 2 game division lead going into the playoffs. All signs point to a Titans win, but I think that the Chargers will drive the nail into Tennessee's playoff hopes.
Giants (8-4) over Eagles (5-7)
Donovan got real healthy real quick after Jay Touchy-Feely started throwing picks. It's still not gonna work. The G-Men own this one.
Jaguars (8-4) over Panthers (5-7)
I've been waiting all season for this match-up to tee-off.
Both of these teams came in as expansion teams in 1995 and I always get 'em mixed up after my second beer. Who can blame me? These both are teams from lame-ass southern cities that are named after THE SAME FUCKING ANIMAL. The Jaguar is a panther native to Central America.
I'm just amazed that they didn't grant extension teams to the Birmingham Pumas and the Texarkana Cougars the same fucking year. Yeeesh.
Buccaneers (8-4) over Texans (5-7)
With a win here, Tampa can secure a playoff spot. Houston is out, so they're just playing for pride. If you've ever been to Houston, you'll know how little pride they're playing for.
Late Sunday Games
Vikings (6-6) over 49ers (3-9)
The Vikes are gonna make the playoffs. The Niners are gonna make excuses and an early draft pick.
Seahawks (8-4) over Cardinals (6-6)
Once again, the Cards really need this road win to advance in the playoff race, and Seattle has a 2 game lead with 4 games left. Arizona really needs this win, I don't think that they're gonna get it.
Broncos (5-7) over Chiefs (4-8)
Hey kids, it's the crushed expectations bowl. Flush quick.
Patriots (12-0) over Steelers (9-3)
Here's the game of the week. Here's why: This (statistically) is the best shot at upending the Pats' perfect season; Both of these teams have a history of breaking each other's undefeated streaks; New England has struggled in the past couple of weeks against two awful teams; and if the Steelers could knock out a win here, they'd be in position for some home playoff games.
All that being said, the Patriots always seem to find a way to win. Plus, I want to see those '72 Fish bastards shut the fuck up.
Browns (7-5) over Jets (3-9)
Bad news for the Brown Bombers: Last week the Jets scored 40 points with Kellen Clemens at the helm. Good News for the Browns: Last week they played the hapless Dolphins.
Cleveland rocks this one.
Sunday Night Game
Colts (10-2) over Ravens (4-8)
Last week the Ravens almost upended the Patriots in the Monday night game. That was fucking weird. This week they should be back to full glacier mode - Slow and melting away into nothingness.
Monday Night Game
Saints (5-7) over Falcons (3-9)
Poor ESPN - I'll be watching just to see how long it takes for Kornheiser to lose it.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct picks in GREEN
... I mean BOO!
That fucking game damn near turned me off of football (and grilled oysters).
Here's the rest of my picks.
Last week's picks: 11/5
Season record: 124/68
Thursday Night Game
Bears (5-7) over Redskins (5-7)
Who fucking knows how this game will go? If you're thinking of wagering on this one; you're insane - You'd be better off going down to the turtle races at Andy's Tap in D-Town and wagering the title to your car on turtle #13.
The Skins have had a really rough short week and are playing with a two-day practice week due to Taylor's funeral. They could be inspired, but after last week, I'm not seeing it. Then again, the Bears are finding a way to lose at every given opportunity. Who fucking knows?
I'm gonna be front & center at this train wreck. I'm picking Bears and routing for a Grossman career ending injury.
Postgame: Bluuuuuurrrrgggghhhhh!
This game was so blowful, that It needs its own post.
Early Sunday Games
Bills (6-6) over Dolphins (0-12)
Miami is starting to get desperate and making some crazy-ass plays so that they don't run the board in reverse. Miami QB, John Beck, might even get his first touchdown of the season in this one - Don't count on it. The Williams will triumph.
Rams (3-9) over Bengals (4-8)
The Bengals are reaching critical mass as a team. This is the game that will blow them apart.
Cowboys (11-1) over Lions (6-6)
Good news: It looks like the Lions aren't gonna make the postseason. Bad news: It looks like the Vikings will. Fucking NFC North.
Packers (10-2) over Raiders (4-8)
Brett is still hurt from last week, but should play. The Raiders are still hurt from January 26th, 2003, and really haven't played since.
Chargers (7-5) over Titans (7-5)
I'm not loving this pick. I think that the Titans at home have a damned good shot of up-ending the Bolts winning streak, and pulling off a win at home. The Titans really need this win, whereas San Diego has a 2 game division lead going into the playoffs. All signs point to a Titans win, but I think that the Chargers will drive the nail into Tennessee's playoff hopes.
Giants (8-4) over Eagles (5-7)
Donovan got real healthy real quick after Jay Touchy-Feely started throwing picks. It's still not gonna work. The G-Men own this one.
Jaguars (8-4) over Panthers (5-7)
I've been waiting all season for this match-up to tee-off.
Both of these teams came in as expansion teams in 1995 and I always get 'em mixed up after my second beer. Who can blame me? These both are teams from lame-ass southern cities that are named after THE SAME FUCKING ANIMAL. The Jaguar is a panther native to Central America.
I'm just amazed that they didn't grant extension teams to the Birmingham Pumas and the Texarkana Cougars the same fucking year. Yeeesh.
Buccaneers (8-4) over Texans (5-7)
With a win here, Tampa can secure a playoff spot. Houston is out, so they're just playing for pride. If you've ever been to Houston, you'll know how little pride they're playing for.
Late Sunday Games
Vikings (6-6) over 49ers (3-9)
The Vikes are gonna make the playoffs. The Niners are gonna make excuses and an early draft pick.
Seahawks (8-4) over Cardinals (6-6)
Once again, the Cards really need this road win to advance in the playoff race, and Seattle has a 2 game lead with 4 games left. Arizona really needs this win, I don't think that they're gonna get it.
Broncos (5-7) over Chiefs (4-8)
Hey kids, it's the crushed expectations bowl. Flush quick.
Patriots (12-0) over Steelers (9-3)
Here's the game of the week. Here's why: This (statistically) is the best shot at upending the Pats' perfect season; Both of these teams have a history of breaking each other's undefeated streaks; New England has struggled in the past couple of weeks against two awful teams; and if the Steelers could knock out a win here, they'd be in position for some home playoff games.
All that being said, the Patriots always seem to find a way to win. Plus, I want to see those '72 Fish bastards shut the fuck up.
Browns (7-5) over Jets (3-9)
Bad news for the Brown Bombers: Last week the Jets scored 40 points with Kellen Clemens at the helm. Good News for the Browns: Last week they played the hapless Dolphins.
Cleveland rocks this one.
Sunday Night Game
Colts (10-2) over Ravens (4-8)
Last week the Ravens almost upended the Patriots in the Monday night game. That was fucking weird. This week they should be back to full glacier mode - Slow and melting away into nothingness.
Monday Night Game
Saints (5-7) over Falcons (3-9)
Poor ESPN - I'll be watching just to see how long it takes for Kornheiser to lose it.
---
Wrong picks in RED
Correct picks in GREEN
Friday, December 7, 2007
Take me Out to the Ballgame (and Out of the Playoffs)
I had the great pleasure of attending last night's Bears -vs- Skins game (Thanx Dan).Sweet Jesus, did that fucking suck.
I really shouldn't be bitching about having the privilege of being handed free tickets for an NFL game between my two favorite teams, but here I go anyway:
I had an extra ticket for the game, so I called up my buddy Steve, who usually is good enough to let me share in his season tickets, and see if he had a friend that could use my spare - He did.
By the way, check out the ticket (to the right). These tickets were printed up in the offseason - With Sean Taylor. There was a 1 in 10 shot of any featured player being on the ticket for this game, but on the week after his funeral? Weird.
We met up in the parking lot about 3 hours before kick-off to get some bratwurst and a good buzz going. The first thing I noticed was how freaking cold it was. The cold-front had just moved over a day earlier, going from 80 degrees the week before, to 50 degrees this week, to 30 degrees for the game.
I was bundled up like the kid from 'A Christmas Story', and still freezing my ass off - It didn't help that I packed up all of my boots and hauled 'em back to Illinois. I was ankle-deep in snow wearing low-top Chucks - It was either that or dress shoes.
It was a pretty damed fine tailgate; bratwurst, crab cakes, fried soft-shell crabs, beer, and booze. I should have had the sense to steer clear of the grilled oysters - Whole oysters grilled in their shells. Everyone else had gloves on - I didn't. I was handed a fresh-off-of-the-grill oyster and lost the skin on my thumb, index finger, and middle finger tips. I still managed to eat it, but was in pain for the rest of the night (and still am).
The game was a freaking war of attrition for all but 30 seconds right before the half. I was digging it, and even felt a little bad (between ecstatic cheers) when Rex went out.
Rex got his revenge. With him out, I was free to cheer for the Bears, but I had worn out my Sean Taylor jersey out of a sense of obligation. He dies, I own his jersey, I've got tickets for the next game - Shelve the Butkus jersey. So, here I am routing for Chicago and decked out in Skins gear - I just crossed my arms and tried to be as stoic as possible, lest I look like a total fuck-wit.
At half-time we met up with Steve and a few other people at the end-zone bar (Meathead was a no-show). I had a few smokes, drank a few shots, and headed back to my seats... Only to realize that I had lost my ticket.
FUCK!!!
It must have slipped out while I was reaching for smokes or pulling my gloves outta their pocket. The guy I had been sitting next to had joined Steve down at his seats for the second half ( I declined because I had fancy-ass club seats right on the 50), so my alibi was gone for the security check. I tried calling Steve - Direct to voicemail. I tried calling Meathead - Nada.
I'm fucked.
I couldn't tell you anything that happened in the 3rd quarter, because I was on the phone trying to find a way back into the game. I finally started wandering upward to the nose-bleed seats, and found a couple of unattended gates at the top in the end-zone. Perfect.
I went from the fancy-ass hoity-toity seats to the nosebleeds with a guy vomiting into the empty seat directly in front of me (really). Charming.
You all saw the 4th quarter, so I don't have to tell you all about the travesty against all that is good that unfurled on the field. I stayed till the game went final.
Then I sat for 75 minutes in line trying to get out of the parking lot with a jacked-up monster truck pickup directly in front of me, and got to watch every braying jackass shoot the thumbs-up at the driver and take pictures next to it. Fucking douches.
I got so sick of that nonsense that I shifted into 4 wheel drive, jumped the curb, shot off into the free-lane, and outta the park. I'm hoping that the monster truck guy saw that and felt like a complete ass for being a timid twat with a big-assed truck - Fucking pussy.
After I got out of the parking lot, it was a swift 20 minute drive home.
I was planning on watching the game again on Tivo, but just said "fuck it", took a shower, poured myself a bourbon, and headed to bed.
I needed it.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
From Superbowl Runners-Up to Super-Size Pieces of Shit...
Wow... I don't even know where to begin. There are so many things wrong with the Decatur Staleys, it's hard to say which one they need to address first in the off-season. The most frustrating thing is that the team's talent seems to be less than the sum of the talent of its constituent parts. You can point to injury or off-season moves that may be at the root of the rapid decline, but the truth is that the most glaring issues tonight were lack of discipline - and shitty strategy on both sides of the ball. I place 97% of the blame on the coaching staff.
On the plus side, I thought the little guy from NIU acquitted himself quite well tonight. He had a couple of nice skill plays, but what impressed me was the way he was picking up blocks in the backfield. Now, if the O-Line could pick up blocks as well...
On the plus side, I thought the little guy from NIU acquitted himself quite well tonight. He had a couple of nice skill plays, but what impressed me was the way he was picking up blocks in the backfield. Now, if the O-Line could pick up blocks as well...
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Babich sounds like bitch to me.
Any one who's name sounds like bitch shouldn't couch D for the fucking Bears. I had to rant some where cuz this guys is starting to really fucking piss me off. I hope I can get close enough Thursday to throw something large at him. Maybe a Redskin fan that pisses me off.
Have you heard these quotes buy Eli.... THE WORST QB in the league.
"kept running the same play" because the Bears never adjusted and "had some formations and looks they had trouble with."
So that should piss you off and make you want to fucking rip someone's lips off. Here is what Bitch has to say....
"We need to be more disciplined and address anything that we need to address, scheme-wise," Babich said.
Huh?
No comment my head just exploded.
"Seems like we've faced an awful lot of good backs this year," Babich said.
Huh?
So you don't face good backs every year? Where the hell did we get this retard?
Babich must be a fucking retards retard, does he really expect us to believe this shit. He is delusional and fucking kiddding himself and needs to go away. The last two weeks, Derrick Ward of the Giants and Andre Hall of the Broncos set career highs for single-game rushing yards against the Bears. Four of the last five running backs to face the Bears' defense have established season highs for rushing yards in a game.
"Seems like we've faced an awful lot of good backs this year," Babich said.
Great running backs like DERRICK WARD, ADRE HALL, and WYNN!
We start web sites to get rid of Rex but this douche bag can spout this trite and we got to swallow it. Am I the only one pissed off?
The bright spot this year is Ogunleye is steppin up big time. With his play and leadership. It sounds like he has an up hill battle with the coaches. Here is his quote
"Guys missing tackles, guys having busted plays, me included, all of us have to make plays," Ogunleye said. "The thing it gets back to is if I make a mistake, Tommie [Harris] has to have my back, and I have his back. Guys have been breaking down and guys haven't been having each other's backs."
Fucking A right Bubba! Get er done and...
Some one please kick da Bitches ass.
Have you heard these quotes buy Eli.... THE WORST QB in the league.
"kept running the same play" because the Bears never adjusted and "had some formations and looks they had trouble with."
So that should piss you off and make you want to fucking rip someone's lips off. Here is what Bitch has to say....
"We need to be more disciplined and address anything that we need to address, scheme-wise," Babich said.
Huh?
No comment my head just exploded.
"Seems like we've faced an awful lot of good backs this year," Babich said.
Huh?
So you don't face good backs every year? Where the hell did we get this retard?
Babich must be a fucking retards retard, does he really expect us to believe this shit. He is delusional and fucking kiddding himself and needs to go away. The last two weeks, Derrick Ward of the Giants and Andre Hall of the Broncos set career highs for single-game rushing yards against the Bears. Four of the last five running backs to face the Bears' defense have established season highs for rushing yards in a game.
"Seems like we've faced an awful lot of good backs this year," Babich said.
Great running backs like DERRICK WARD, ADRE HALL, and WYNN!
We start web sites to get rid of Rex but this douche bag can spout this trite and we got to swallow it. Am I the only one pissed off?
The bright spot this year is Ogunleye is steppin up big time. With his play and leadership. It sounds like he has an up hill battle with the coaches. Here is his quote
"Guys missing tackles, guys having busted plays, me included, all of us have to make plays," Ogunleye said. "The thing it gets back to is if I make a mistake, Tommie [Harris] has to have my back, and I have his back. Guys have been breaking down and guys haven't been having each other's backs."
Fucking A right Bubba! Get er done and...
Some one please kick da Bitches ass.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Why Vegas has the Money
Maybe this is one of those delusional fucked up playing with myself in my head sort of things...
Ewwwww, sorry
I know that the Vegas lines are designed to get even money played (which always benefits the house) and probably signify nothing more than that.
But the Ravens are 17pt dogs at home to the Pats and I've seen the over/under as high as 49 or 48 as recently today. I've also looked at the weather (after being reminded to do so by Dangerous Dan McNeil of Chicago's ESPN 1000).
The weather is supposed to be pretty windy and the Pats are a passing, not a running team. The Ravens are injured in the secondary sure, but they should be able to get as much pressure on Tom Brady from the front four as the Eagles did last year.
I'm not suggesting that anyone bet against the Pats, but you get 17pts and the Ravens backup is starting instead of Steve "the Statue" McNair.
Maybe all I can say is if you can find a window in time, take a chance on the Ravens and for the love of Benji - BET THE FRIGGIN' UNDER!
That's free money.
Ewwwww, sorry
I know that the Vegas lines are designed to get even money played (which always benefits the house) and probably signify nothing more than that.
But the Ravens are 17pt dogs at home to the Pats and I've seen the over/under as high as 49 or 48 as recently today. I've also looked at the weather (after being reminded to do so by Dangerous Dan McNeil of Chicago's ESPN 1000).
The weather is supposed to be pretty windy and the Pats are a passing, not a running team. The Ravens are injured in the secondary sure, but they should be able to get as much pressure on Tom Brady from the front four as the Eagles did last year.
I'm not suggesting that anyone bet against the Pats, but you get 17pts and the Ravens backup is starting instead of Steve "the Statue" McNair.
Maybe all I can say is if you can find a window in time, take a chance on the Ravens and for the love of Benji - BET THE FRIGGIN' UNDER!
That's free money.
Six Sacks - Zero Turnovers
Granted, he didn't set the world on fire, but Rexy did not make any big mistakes (unless you count backpedaling). I'm telling you, I can't stop the Rex hate, but I think focusing on him will get us yet another average QB and NOT the parts we really need (RB, o-line, safeties).
This was a heart-breaking game, because the Bears seemed to have it under control until the fourth quarter. Then they went limp. The defense used to win games for us but now they can't stop anything. The offense can't consistently create yards/points.
They started off with the hurry-up offense and drove straight down the field - no pressure. I can see where you don't want to do that for the full game, but waiting until it's too late into the 4th quarter makes it imperative to be perfect on every single play (not good for the Bears).
Also, am I the only one that thinks that Adrian Peterson is MORE talented than Cedric Benson? I mean, who cares about college stats at this point? How many 1st downs did Peterson fight for yesterday? He might not be the best back in the league, but I've always thought he was under-utilized.
One more thing - Hester is fast and has great vision and evasive skills. That doesn't make him a receiver. Maybe try him as a running back. I think he's awesome as a returner, but that might be it.
This was a heart-breaking game, because the Bears seemed to have it under control until the fourth quarter. Then they went limp. The defense used to win games for us but now they can't stop anything. The offense can't consistently create yards/points.
They started off with the hurry-up offense and drove straight down the field - no pressure. I can see where you don't want to do that for the full game, but waiting until it's too late into the 4th quarter makes it imperative to be perfect on every single play (not good for the Bears).
Also, am I the only one that thinks that Adrian Peterson is MORE talented than Cedric Benson? I mean, who cares about college stats at this point? How many 1st downs did Peterson fight for yesterday? He might not be the best back in the league, but I've always thought he was under-utilized.
One more thing - Hester is fast and has great vision and evasive skills. That doesn't make him a receiver. Maybe try him as a running back. I think he's awesome as a returner, but that might be it.
Loser/Dumbass Gets Lucky
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Week 13 Bears Predictions
I've been fretting over what my inaugural post should be, so I thought I'd break the seal with something easy.
I just want to go on the record before the game today saying that Benson's injury was maybe the best thing to happen to the Bears near-term future. Look for, at least, high-double digit rushing yards from the other Adrian Peterson and a breakaway play or two from the munchkin Huskie. More importantly, look for the front office to spend some serious dollars and hours looking to repair the long-term running game (O-Line and RB).
Also, look for the D to behave more like we expect them to, unless Shockey shows up Archuleta all day.
I promise a better post soon...
I just want to go on the record before the game today saying that Benson's injury was maybe the best thing to happen to the Bears near-term future. Look for, at least, high-double digit rushing yards from the other Adrian Peterson and a breakaway play or two from the munchkin Huskie. More importantly, look for the front office to spend some serious dollars and hours looking to repair the long-term running game (O-Line and RB).
Also, look for the D to behave more like we expect them to, unless Shockey shows up Archuleta all day.
I promise a better post soon...
Saturday, December 1, 2007
The Liar's NFL Week 13 Picks
Yup, I'm moving my picks over to KfS (along with all of the earlier picks from this year). The way I'm gonna work this is that I'll do a post for the Thursday game, then re-post this on Saturday with the rest of my picks. That makes sense to my booze-addled brain, then again, so does Ron Paul.
13 is my lucky number, so I'm hoping that I'll get some good mojo kicking in this week with my picks to help erase the mediocrity of the past few weeks. Here we go.
Last week's picks: 9/7
Season record: 113/63
Thursday Night Game:
Cowboys (10-1) over Packers (10-1)
I'm really looking forward to this one. It's fortuitous that I'm one of the few that has NFL Network in my cable line-up. Now I just have to manage to find a way to drone out Bryant Gumble.
Onto the tackle-football contest: This game could swing either way, and I'm kinda hoping that the Pack pulls this one out - It'd make for great television, but I think that they're simply outmatched. I'm going with the Boys
Postgame: Wow, this was a pretty damned good game. Favre got knocked out early and the GB back-up (Rogers) was freakin' awesome. A couple of bullshit calls handed the game to the Boys on a silver platter. Boys win by 10.
Favorite 'Bryant Gumble is retarded' moment: The Cowboys are running out of the tunnel at the begining of the telecast - Bryant: "...and out Come the Green Bay Pa... Cowboys". Idiot.
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Shit! All but (the last) 2 games this week are matched really evenly. It should make for some great TV viewin', but for difficult prognostication. This shit is supposed to get easier as the season progresses, but here we are.
Early Sunday Games:
Titans (6-5) over Texans (5-6)
The ex-Oilers are getting Haynesworth back this week, now maybe they can win a game.
Colts (9-2) over Jaguars (8-3)
I really want to pick the Jags, but I just don't see it happening. The Clots are getting healthy, and have something to prove.
Chargers (6-5) over Chiefs (4-7)
The Bolts are downright bipolar this season. Who knows which SD team will take the field this week? All I know is if they want a shot at the playoffs, they'd better get their shit together. We'll see.
Rams (2-9) over Falcons (3-8)
The Rams last-minute fumble cost me a huge upset pick last week against the Seahawks. Dirty bastards. They shouldn't have to wait 'til the last minute to beat the Birds, so I'm safe. Right?
Jets (2-9) over Dolphins (0-11)
An open letter to Coach Manicotti:
Please win this damned game. Miami MUST remain beaten. Seriously.
Love,
Liar
Postgame: Thank you coach Mangione. I knew you could do it.
Vikings (5-6) over Lions (6-5)
I'm hoping like hell that the Vikes and Bears both win, thus bringing the NFC North to a 3-way tie for last. If the Bears can finish ahead of the Lions this year, I'll be happy.
How fucking sad is that last statement?
Eagles (5-6) over Seahawks (7-4)
I'm picking the Eagles because it looks like Donovan won't start this week. He's a great QB, but it was criminal to start him this season before he could fully recoup from his injuries. Blame Coach Reid when he leaves Philly at the end of the season.
Redskins (5-6) over Bills (5-6)
After this week's events, I have a feeling that the Skins are going to play possessed in this one. Either that, or completely come apart on the field. We'll see on Sunday.
Postgame: They completely fell apart. The Skins screwed themselves with a stupid penalty while Buffalo was going for a long field goal with 8 seconds left on the clock - the Williams by 1 thin point.
49ers (3-8) over Panthers (4-7)
There are imploded stars that suck less than Carolina does right now. Don't get me wrong, San Fran is pretty damned bad, but they're just good enough to pull off this road win.
Postgame: I was wrong, the 49ers are bad enough to lose any game. I'm just glad that they're not playing the Dolphins this year.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (5-6) over Raiders (3-8)
Roll the dice. I'm just picking Denver because it seems that Oakland always finds a way to lose.
Browns (7-4) over Cardinals (5-6)
As long as the Browns don't eat at that horrible taco place on 7th in downtown Phoenix, they should be fine. If they do, Cards by at least 50 points.
Postgame: I don't know what pisses me off more; the fact that I'm on a 5 game skid due to a crooked call that gave the Cards the win, or that my losing streak ends here.
Giants (7-4) over Bears (5-6)
Granted, Eli looks like he's been channeling his inner Rex lately. Fortuitously, we have the real thing.
Watch out for the Giants' d-line, their specialty is getting penetration (insert cheap joke here). With our rock-solid o-line and the exceptional play making abilities of Rex Grossman under pressure, this shouldn't be a problem.
Postgame: Welcome to the lonely cellar of the NFC North, kids.
Buccaneers (7-4) over Saints (5-6)
The Saints really need to win this one at home, but they've failed miserably in every "must win" game that they've faced this year. I think that Tampa is too good of a team to let the Saints off of the hook.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (8-3) over Bengals (4-7)
I'm no grassologist, but I highly doubt that 6 days is enough time to fix the death bog that we all saw last Monday. If the field still looks like the results of a mass bovine disembowelment, then the Bengals might have a (lucky) shot.
Monday Night Game:
Patriots (11-0) over Ravens (4-7)
It looks like Philly found the key to defending the Pats. Unfortunately for the Ravens, Belichick has undoubtedly changed the locks 3 times since last Sunday. This game should be good for a laugh.
Postgame: Hole. Lee. Shit. That was close.
---
Correct picks in (a slightly darker) GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
13 is my lucky number, so I'm hoping that I'll get some good mojo kicking in this week with my picks to help erase the mediocrity of the past few weeks. Here we go.
Last week's picks: 9/7
Season record: 113/63
Thursday Night Game:
Cowboys (10-1) over Packers (10-1)
I'm really looking forward to this one. It's fortuitous that I'm one of the few that has NFL Network in my cable line-up. Now I just have to manage to find a way to drone out Bryant Gumble.
Onto the tackle-football contest: This game could swing either way, and I'm kinda hoping that the Pack pulls this one out - It'd make for great television, but I think that they're simply outmatched. I'm going with the Boys
Postgame: Wow, this was a pretty damned good game. Favre got knocked out early and the GB back-up (Rogers) was freakin' awesome. A couple of bullshit calls handed the game to the Boys on a silver platter. Boys win by 10.
Favorite 'Bryant Gumble is retarded' moment: The Cowboys are running out of the tunnel at the begining of the telecast - Bryant: "...and out Come the Green Bay Pa... Cowboys". Idiot.
---
Shit! All but (the last) 2 games this week are matched really evenly. It should make for some great TV viewin', but for difficult prognostication. This shit is supposed to get easier as the season progresses, but here we are.
Early Sunday Games:
Titans (6-5) over Texans (5-6)
The ex-Oilers are getting Haynesworth back this week, now maybe they can win a game.
Colts (9-2) over Jaguars (8-3)
I really want to pick the Jags, but I just don't see it happening. The Clots are getting healthy, and have something to prove.
Chargers (6-5) over Chiefs (4-7)
The Bolts are downright bipolar this season. Who knows which SD team will take the field this week? All I know is if they want a shot at the playoffs, they'd better get their shit together. We'll see.
Rams (2-9) over Falcons (3-8)
The Rams last-minute fumble cost me a huge upset pick last week against the Seahawks. Dirty bastards. They shouldn't have to wait 'til the last minute to beat the Birds, so I'm safe. Right?
Jets (2-9) over Dolphins (0-11)
An open letter to Coach Manicotti:
Please win this damned game. Miami MUST remain beaten. Seriously.
Love,
Liar
Postgame: Thank you coach Mangione. I knew you could do it.
Vikings (5-6) over Lions (6-5)
I'm hoping like hell that the Vikes and Bears both win, thus bringing the NFC North to a 3-way tie for last. If the Bears can finish ahead of the Lions this year, I'll be happy.
How fucking sad is that last statement?
Eagles (5-6) over Seahawks (7-4)
I'm picking the Eagles because it looks like Donovan won't start this week. He's a great QB, but it was criminal to start him this season before he could fully recoup from his injuries. Blame Coach Reid when he leaves Philly at the end of the season.
Redskins (5-6) over Bills (5-6)
After this week's events, I have a feeling that the Skins are going to play possessed in this one. Either that, or completely come apart on the field. We'll see on Sunday.
Postgame: They completely fell apart. The Skins screwed themselves with a stupid penalty while Buffalo was going for a long field goal with 8 seconds left on the clock - the Williams by 1 thin point.
49ers (3-8) over Panthers (4-7)
There are imploded stars that suck less than Carolina does right now. Don't get me wrong, San Fran is pretty damned bad, but they're just good enough to pull off this road win.
Postgame: I was wrong, the 49ers are bad enough to lose any game. I'm just glad that they're not playing the Dolphins this year.
Late Sunday Games:
Broncos (5-6) over Raiders (3-8)
Roll the dice. I'm just picking Denver because it seems that Oakland always finds a way to lose.
Browns (7-4) over Cardinals (5-6)
As long as the Browns don't eat at that horrible taco place on 7th in downtown Phoenix, they should be fine. If they do, Cards by at least 50 points.
Postgame: I don't know what pisses me off more; the fact that I'm on a 5 game skid due to a crooked call that gave the Cards the win, or that my losing streak ends here.
Giants (7-4) over Bears (5-6)
Granted, Eli looks like he's been channeling his inner Rex lately. Fortuitously, we have the real thing.
Watch out for the Giants' d-line, their specialty is getting penetration (insert cheap joke here). With our rock-solid o-line and the exceptional play making abilities of Rex Grossman under pressure, this shouldn't be a problem.
Postgame: Welcome to the lonely cellar of the NFC North, kids.
Buccaneers (7-4) over Saints (5-6)
The Saints really need to win this one at home, but they've failed miserably in every "must win" game that they've faced this year. I think that Tampa is too good of a team to let the Saints off of the hook.
Sunday Night Game:
Steelers (8-3) over Bengals (4-7)
I'm no grassologist, but I highly doubt that 6 days is enough time to fix the death bog that we all saw last Monday. If the field still looks like the results of a mass bovine disembowelment, then the Bengals might have a (lucky) shot.
Monday Night Game:
Patriots (11-0) over Ravens (4-7)
It looks like Philly found the key to defending the Pats. Unfortunately for the Ravens, Belichick has undoubtedly changed the locks 3 times since last Sunday. This game should be good for a laugh.
Postgame: Hole. Lee. Shit. That was close.
---
Correct picks in (a slightly darker) GREEN
Wrong picks in RED
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